A/N : Hey guys. Well, here is the new chapter as promised. I would have posted it last night only I suddenly had this idea of a season 6 ficlet I wanted to write so even though this chapter was finished I completely forgot to post it! You can expect that little fic that got me side-tracked to appear later too. I want to thank Courtney37, SweetBitter, samicax, buffspike, Spikelover11, Leanne8582, uandme4eternity, SpIkEs AnGeL, Rachel, aphelant for all the great reviews on the previous chapter. Just so you know, even though we've hit the present day, this is so not the end! Not sure what you're going to think of this chapter, please review at the end ;-)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 19 : Shattered - 18th November 2003 (Present Day)

When I woke up this morning, just for a second I was in heaven, lying next to this perfect man with sweet memories of the night before fresh in my mind, but there were too many reminders in that room of our true relationship. I felt sick all over again as a voice in my head reminded me I was supposed to treat this guy like my brother. I turned and looked over at him, lying there beside me. He was still sleeping, looking so perfect, and despite the fact my stomach was churning and my head was telling me what a terrible thing I'd done, there was this calm and happy part of me that just loved him so much and was so glad that the night before had happened the way it had. His body shifted beside me as he woke up, interrupting my silent thoughts...

"Mornin' luv" Spike whispered to Buffy, a smile on his lips as his memory flooded back and sleep subsided.

"Hi" came her barely audible reply, he knew without asking why she looked so panicked, and it wasn't just because he was the first man she had given herself too. It was the fact she believed she should treat him like a sibling, not a lover.

Reaching out a hand, he pushed some hair off of her face, running his fingers through the blonde strands and down over her shoulder.

"We did nothing wrong, baby" he told her, "I love you, you know that" he assured her.

"I love you too" she whispered, her eyes fluttering closed as he moved closer to her and kissed her lips, his fingertips running over her skin, making her shiver in that glorious way, like the night before.

After a moment he moved back and just looked at her, drinking her in, wondering at these feelings he had for her, unlike anything he'd ever felt for anyone else before. He saw some worry in those eyes of hers, but he saw a lot of love too, still he had trouble figuring her out completely and a part of him liked that.

"Tell me what you're thinking" he said, still running a finger lightly up and down the length of her arm. Her eyes wandered over his face and body and without really thinking she blurted out precisely the words that were in her mind;

"You're beautiful"

"Not what I expected" Spike grinned, leaning towards her, "but you're sexy when you blush" he told he as her face went pink. She looked away, embarrassed, but his fingers moving into her hair brought her attention back to him.

"In fact" he said softly, leaning in closer, finger tips still tracing patterns on her neck and shoulder, "you're sexy and beautiful and wonderful all the time" he told her, punctuating every other word with a kiss across her face, ending on her lips, "And I love you" he whispered into that final kiss, wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her close to him as she responded to his touch.

"I love you too" she gasped between kisses, surrendering to her feelings and pushing away her fears, as last nights main event looked set to get it's encore.

Downstairs there was a knock at the front door, the sound of which was drowned out in the bedroom above by overpowering passion, thumping hearts, and moans of pleasure. In all the confusion, no-one had locked the front door last night and so the visitor simply pushed and it opened. Slightly concerned that the door had been left so insecurely closed all night, he cautiously crept inside. His entry was not noticed, neither was his exploration of the ground floor or his ascension of the stairs.

Spike and Buffy were half way to heaven when the bedroom door flew open, revealing a very shocked and fairly angry young man on the other side.

"Riley!" Buffy gasped, immediately rolling away from Spike and pulling the sheets tight around her body, the reality of what she'd done, and was doing, suddenly hitting home all too hard.

Spike didn't know what to do or say as Riley turned and stormed away, Buffy chasing after him, throwing on her robe as she ran, practically falling down the stars as she desperately chased her boyfriend.

"Buffy!" she heard Spike call behind her but she didn't stop, running out of the front door and watching with tears running right down her face as Riley's car pulled away from the house, only to be replaced by Oz's car pulling into the drive.

As Buffy sobbed, her knees threatening to give way beneath her, Willow jumped from the car before it had barely stopped and Oz was soon there too.

"Buffy, sweetie, what on Earth happened?" the red-head asked, shocked and scared by the sight of her sister, barely dressed and crying her heart out on the front lawn. The blonde fell into her sisters arms and as Willow hugged her close she glanced over at Spike who now stood in the doorway, wearing only a pair of black jeans that weren't fastened correctly.

"Let's go inside" the red-head said quietly to her sister, leading Buffy back toward the front door. Oz followed his girlfriend, glancing between Spike and Buffy and the road that Riley's car had just sped down - it was all very confusing

Once inside, both Willow and her boyfriend noticed how Buffy would barely even look at Spike and that said bleach blond looked kind of messy in appearance, the look on his face said he was very mixed-up about things right now - Buffy was about to make things very clear…

"Willow, I did such a terrible thing" she sobbed as Willow sat on the couch and held her, "I made this horrible mistake and I don't know what I'm gonna do"

The two red-heads shared a look and all the puzzle pieces fell into place in both their heads.

"I'll go make some coffee" Oz suggested, slipping away to the kitchen as Willow held Buffy tighter and she cried her heart out. Everyone seemed to be oblivious to Spike and the pain he was in. Every word Buffy had just said, hit him in the heart with a force stronger than any physical blow. He felt sick and hurt, and guilty though he wasn't sure why he should. He knew he'd done nothing wrong. He hadn't forced her to be with him and she wasn't actually related to him. They were two people in love, both adults and completely free to do what they pleased, (well maybe not completely free, but he wasn't thinking about Riley right now) They had shared the night and shown each other how much they loved each other in the most natual way in the world, and now she was disgusted, both with herself and with him, and he couldn't stand it.

Spike ran back up the stairs to the room he'd been so happy in last night, the sight of which now made him want to heave. He couldn't live like this, there was no way. He wouldn't do it to himself or her. He had to get out.

Oz returned to the living room with coffee and Willow had managed to calm her sister down to a modest extent. The boy offered to leave and come back later and Willow shot him an apologetic look. She'd done something similar to what Buffy had last night, only she'd woken in the morning with no regrets at all, only joy and contentment, knowing in her heart that she would be with Oz forever and never stop loving him.

Leaving Buffy sipping at coffee she took her boyfriend outside of the front door to kiss him goodbye. Willow apologised for the way things were this morning and thanked Oz for the beautiful night before. They shared another kiss before he left and as the red-head re-entered the house she found Spike halfway down the stairs with a bag slung over his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" her question caught Buffy's attention too and the blonde looked out from the living room into the hall.

"I don't know, anywhere" was all Spike said as he hurried down the last few stairs and was out of the door before Willow could ask another question. Buffy began to sob all over again and her sister was torn between comforting one of her siblings or the other.

As she glanced to Buffy and then back out of the still open front door, she realised Spike was already out of her sight, and with no way of knowing where he was going she couldn't really follow. Closing the door she hurried back to the couch, taking her sister in her arms again.

"Oh Willow, I never meant for it to happen" the blonde sobbed, "but I felt things and so did he and we couldn't fight it anymore, I know it's awful but..."

"Ssshh, it's okay" the red-head soothed. In all honesty, she'd seen looks pass between her siblings but it'd never occurred to her they liked each other all that much. If they did, Willow wondered, how did she feel about that, and she realised all she wanted was their happiness. If that meant them being together, sure it was a little weird but, she could deal. They weren't really blood related so it was not half so icky as it would seem at first glance.

"Buffy, don't go crazy on me but..." she began carefully "y'know he's not really your brother, not biologically, so why feel so bad?" she asked, watching her sister's expression and trying to judge what her answer might be like.

"Because..." Buffy sniffed "if I admit he's not my brother, it means you're not really my sister and Dad isn't Dad either..." her voice trailed away and the tears would not subside.

"Oh sweetie" Willow sympathised, feeling Buffy's pain and wishing she could help as she hugged her tightly and rubbed her back soothingly. She'd thought that the return of her brother would be this great and happy family event, but look at the trouble it had caused. Still, she did love having him around, and now he was gone to God knows where and for who knows how long?

When Buffy finally stopped shaking and crying, Willow sat her up straight and said she needed to make a phone call. Her parents would probably still be at their friends house, and she needed them here. They always knew what to do in situations like these, not that there had ever been a situation quite like this one, but somebody had to do something, before their family completely fell apart.

Now here I am, sitting in my living room, no tears left to cry and no emotion left to feel. I want Spike so badly, and I know that I'm in love with him, I never would have allowed last night to happen the way it did if I wasn't sure about that. But there's still this part of me that feels so ashamed, because he was supposed to be my brother and if he's not, well then it's like I said to Willow, she's not my sister and Giles isn't my Dad, and that means that apart from my Mom I'm alone. I know it doesn't make too much sense, but I love my family and admitting that I'm not related to Spike, means admitting that my life is a lie. Oh God, my parents car just pulled into the drive, they have the worst timing ever...what the hell am I going to say to them?

To Be Continued...