A/N : Thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapter; Rachel, SouthernRain, SpIkEs AnGeL, fashiongrrl, Courtney37, buffspike, SlayGal. I know I'm being kinda mean to Spikey in this fic, but y'know I still love him really ;-) Hope you guys like this next chapter. Please review! :-)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 20 : Family

I see my parents coming up the path. I'm not sure whether to run upstairs and hide for a while, but I can't leave Willow to explain, that's just not fair. No, I got myself into the mess I'll have to get myself out...but how am I supposed to tell my Dad that I just slept with his son? How do I tell my Mom that I slept with anyone?

"Joyce you know I didn't mean..." Giles carried on his conversation with his wife as they came through the front door, only to be confronted by a panicked-looking red-head, "Willow?" the man frowned before his eyes travelled around the room and landed on his other daughter "Buffy? Whatever is going on?" he asked them, causing the blonde to burst into noisy sobs all over again.

"Buffy, sweetheart" said Joyce as she quickly moved to sit beside the distressed girl "Whatever's happened?" she asked, as she pulled her into a hug.

"Oh Mom, I'm sorry" was all the girl managed to say as she shook and cried more salt water than she knew her body possessed.

Seeing that she was in no fit state to elaborate, Giles turned to Willow for further explanation, something she was willing to give but not in front of her sister. Tugging on her father's sleeve, Willow silently asked him to follow her to the kitchen. Once there she took a deep breath and began;

"Dad...Spike and Buffy, they...well, it's really kind of funny" she laughed nervously, fingers fidgeting together in front of her chest as her feet bounced all by themselves "did you notice how they get along really well and smile at each other a lot and stuff?"

"I confess I haven't noticed them getting on any better than you and he do" her father shrugged, wondering what any of this had to do with the state Buffy was in right now "but I'm glad they're friends, they are brother and sister after all" he added.

"You might not wanna repeat that in front of Buffy" Willow told him with a pained expression, she took a breath and added "Dad, she loves him and he loves her"

There was a silent moment when Giles looked a little bewildered and Willow wondered whether to expect shock, anger, confusion, or all of the above. She did not expect what he actually said.

"Well, surely thats a good thing" he smiled but also shook his head, still trying to understand the point of this conversation.

"No, no, no" Willow repeated over and over, a little annoyed and a lot nervous "not like I love them and you love them" she tried to explain more clearly "like you love Mom...and like I love Oz" she added quietly.

The floor tiles became very interesting and Willow waited for her fathers reaction which this time should definitely be one of the aforementioned list. There could be no doubt now, that he knew precisely what the feelings were between Buffy and Spike, or at least as precisely as Willow did.

"Good heavens...how...?" Giles went down with a thump onto a stool by the counter as he removed his glasses from his face "I mean...oh good Lord" he rambled away to himself as he removed his handkerchief from his pocket and began polishing the lenses of his spectacles. Willow continued to fidget nervously beside him.

"Well, they're not blood related, not really" she tried to help "and I guess they were just...attracted and stuff happened and..."

"'Stuff' happened?" Giles snapped out of his daze and looked directly at his decidedly jumpy daughter who immediately wished she'd kept her big mouth shut.

"I really think Buffy should be telling you this" she said quickly as she watched her father rub his glasses more violently, she was sure the force would break them if he didn't stop soon.

"I have a feeling she is in no fit state, and with good reason if I'm understanding you correctly" he said, now comprehending from the look on Willow's face precisely what had happened between his son and adopted daughter "She and Spike spent the night, yes?" he asked uneasily, finally putting away his hanky and placing his glasses back on his nose, much to Willow's relief.

"I think so, yeah" she admitted, eyes on her shoes. It was kind of embarrassing talking to her Dad about anyone 'spending the night', but it was most especially awkward given it was effectively her brother and sister she was speaking of.

With a deep breath Giles stood up again and encouraged his daughter to follow him back to the living room, where Joyce still held Buffy who had yet to stop sobbing.

"Buffy?" her adoptive father said gently, kneeling down on the carpet in front of her, trying to see her face that was currently buried in her mother.

"Rupert, I can't get any sense out of her" Joyce said worriedly as her husband gave in and stood up again.

"Fortunately Willow has filled me in" he explained, fighting the urge to clean his glasses some more "It seems Buffy and William do not have the sister-brother bond that we thought"

"Oh sweetheart" Joyce sympathised with her daughter, not knowing she'd got it wrong "Did you two have a fight?"

"Quite the opposite actually" Giles pointed out with some discomfort as Buffy attempted to stop her tears "or so it would seem"

"I didn't mean to Mom" the blonde choked out "I didn't mean to love him, and last night I just...I'm so sorry" she exclaimed, before burying her head in her hands.

The looks on Giles and Willow's faces confirmed Joyce's suspicions and she hugged her daughter once again.

"Oh my baby" she sympathised, not really knowing what else to say for the best. Giles looked to his own daughter for answers.

"Where is Spike now, Willow?"

"He left" she told him "and he wasn't very happy" admitting that only made her feel like crying too. She'd stayed with Buffy because she was so upset and because she had no idea where Spike was going but by doing so she realised her brother probably thought she didn't care about him as much as she cared for Buffy. Also with the female half of all this so violently regretting the events of the night before, was sit any wonder Spike felt so hurt?

"I honestly don't know where to begin" Giles shook his head, again removing his glasses and placing them on the table where they were out of reach as he sat down in the armchair. Willow was glad that he wasn't polishing again, it was his nervous little twitch that only served to make her doubly agitated.

"I know I'm a terrible person" Buffy choked out, finding it near impossible to cry anymore, she had hardly anymore tears to give.

"Buffy, my dear" Giles sighed, leaning forward and taking her hand "it's simply not your fault, it is neither of your faults"

"Of course it's not" Joyce assured her, looking over at her husband briefly, a glance that said so much, a secret question and an answer, an agreement to tell the truth..."Sweetheart" Joyce said, turning to her daughter as Willow perched herself on the arm of her father's chair "after your father, your real father" she clarified uneasily "passed away, and Jenny too, well Rupert and I had strong feelings for each other, we'd liked each other even before our marriages, and we felt guilty when we got together" she admitted, as both Buffy and Willow's eyes glanced back and forth between their parents.

"But you were both single and free" the red-head commented "why feel so bad?"

"It felt somewhat like betraying the memories of Jenny and Hank" Giles explained to her, before turning back to Buffy "but it is impossible to control who you fall in love with" he assured her, thought she still didn't look convinced "Buffy, we have brought up yourself and Willow as sisters because your mother and I love each other very much and needed each others support. By default, William was talked about as your brother. But if you feel this strongly for him, there is nothing wrong with that" he promised, finding his daughter's distress had actually served to make him see things more clearly "He is not your brother not in a real blood sense"

"But you're my Dad" the blonde sniffed "I don't want that to change"

"It doesn't have to, baby" Joyce tried to smile, hoping her daughter would do the same, but to no avail.

"But it will" Buffy yelled, getting to her feet "it'll never be the same! I've ruined it all!" she screamed, before bolting for the stairs and tearing up them. She didn't stop when she reached her room, just flung open the door and ran inside, slamming it behind her and collapsing onto her bed - the bed she'd shared with Spike.

Downstairs she vaguely heard Willow call her name, hoping her parents would understand and let her be alone. She was glad when no-one followed her, but truthfully she didn't want to be alone. She wanted Spike here with her. She wanted to go back to a couple of hours ago, beneath the covers of this very bed, wrapped up in his arms, all warm and safe and in love. Now she felt wretched and dirty and like she'd done something terrible, despite the fact that even her parents assured her she hadn't.

Silently she cried all over again, burying her face in sheets that smelt of his aftershave and memories that, in spite of her own good sense, she never wanted to forget. It was as her face shifted, something on the floor caught her eye. Leaning over the side of the bed she picked up the silver object, half hidden from view til now - Spike's watch.

He'd told her once how his grandparents had bought him it for his eighteenth birthday and he still wore it now. They'd meant such a great deal to him, is whole life back in England that Buffy knew little about. It got her thinking. When he'd left on that plane at the age of five, he'd been no more her brother than anyone else, now he was back and she was beating herself up for loving him, but why? Surely there was a way around this there had to be...

An hour more of deep thought and Buffy had quite decided to pull herself together and make the difficult decisions she had to make. Her parents and her sister seemed not in the least disgusted by her 'relationship' with Spike and really, why should they? She wanted him and loved him so much, there was no way she was ever going to be able to bury her feelings. She had to tell him, had to apologise for hurting him, but first she had to find him.

In a matter of moments she was up and dressed, deciding that first she would find Spike and apologise, then she'd worry about everything else. Stuffing his watch into her pocket, she slipped into the bathroom, washed her face, brushed her hair and applied a little make-up before bolting down the stairs almost as fast as she'd gone up them. As she reached the bottom, her father was there, opening the front door to a visitor that she hadn't even heard knock, obviously too caught up in her own thoughts.

"I'm looking for Mr Rupert Giles?" said an official looking man on the other side.

"That would be me. Is something wrong?" Giles frowned as the man produced a badge and explained he was a police officer.

"I'm afraid there's been an accident, sir" the officer said as gently as he could "A bus came off the road and crashed. Your son William was aboard"

"Oh God, no!" I gasp in shock as my knees give out right at the foot of the stairs. I didn't know I had any tears left to cry but here they are as the guilt knocks me sideways. Spike could be dead, and it's all my fault.

To Be Continued...