AN: Thank you all kindly for your wonderful feedback, and for you patience with this one. It's gonna take me a few more chapters to resolve it all…which means more waiting. Sorry!!
The Age of Aquarius
Chapter Twenty-Four: Cold and Broken Hallelujah
Two Months Later
Joey watched with nervous anticipation, as swarms of holiday shoppers moved past him, with their flushed cheeks and dancing eyes, their arms loaded with gifts, their chatter animated and rushed.
No one ever looked his way.
Even if they did happen to see him sitting there, in the darkened corner of the coffeehouse, they paid him no mind—they did not bother with a second glance.
In this time of warmth and love, charity and humanity, holidays and family, no one wanted to be reminded of the darker side of the human condition.
To acknowledge a wounded veteran would do nothing but remind the revelers that there had been a war—there was a war still—and there were people dying, suffering, and feeling the constant sting of absolute loneliness.
Joey raised his head, and his eyes fell upon the towering Rockefeller Center tree, just yards away. The star-like lights winked at him knowingly, as more shoppers danced their way through the plaza, desperately trying to tune out reality.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rachel whispered, and sat down at a chair adjacent to Joey's, "What are you thinking about?"
"It's strange," Joey said after a short moment, "being here at Christmastime. Last year, Christmas came and went, and I didn't even realize it."
He felt her take his hand in hers, and squeeze it reassuringly.
And he realized that still, after all this time, he wondered if she was only here because she pitied him.
Why would someone so achingly beautiful, want someone like him?He kept his feelings to himself, knowing that she would deny it, if asked. Still, there were times when she would drift away, her mind elsewhere, and he would wonder what she was thinking…who was on her mind.
He'd never had the courage to ask.
"What do you want for Christmas?" Rachel asked, as she sipped her coffee daintily.
"Besides the obvious?" Joey laughed, and pointed at his missing leg.
Rachel smiled, and moved to his lap, before runner her hand through his hair slowly.
"I dunno," Joey sobered, "I have you…that's all I really need."
"Yeah?" Rachel flushed.
"Yeah," Joey whispered, and kissed her softly.
"Rach, I—"
"Rachel?"
Rachel straightened, and whipped her head around, her voice catching in her throat.
"R-Ross?"
"I thought you were in California with Monica?"
"Ross…you're alive?" Rachel stood and took a small step toward Ross, her knees shaky and her heart thumping wildly in her chest.
This isn't real…"Yeah…I've been home for a while."
"I just…I can't believe your alive," Rachel whispered, her throat suddenly dry and her hands clammy. She wrapped her arms around him, and felt him hug her tightly. He was alive. After all this time…he was here…he was alive. She heard Joey's chair click, and reality came crashing back. Ross was here…but she had moved on. As though he were reading her thoughts, Ross pulled away and looked down at her crossly.
"It looks like you've moved on," he said, his eyes darkening.
"Ross—"
"I guess this means we aren't engaged anymore?" he cried, loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Engaged? Ross we were—"
"Maybe I should go," Joey said suddenly, and looked up at Ross, who, upon recognizing Joey for the first time, paled considerably.
"J-Joey," Ross stuttered, his eyes falling to Joey's leg.
"Are you kidding me with this?" Rachel yelled, her eyes shooting between the men incredulously.
"Rachel never mentioned she was engaged," Joey said slowly.
"I'm not! Ross—"
"Rach, we decided, remember? But hey, if you've moved on, then there's nothing I can say," Ross held up his hands in mock-defeat, as he glared at Rachel.
"Ross, I thought you were dead! What did you want me to do, wait around for you the way your sister is waiting around for—"Rachel stopped herself mid-sentence and shook her head.
"What? Is Monica waiting…I thought she was married?" Ross asked.
"No, she isn't…look Ross, I—I really am happy that you are alive…but I am with Joey now, and—"
"It…it isn't serious, is it?" Ross asked incredulously.
"Yes, it is, Ross! Why are you acting like this?"
"Because I love you! And I just…I thought you'd wait for me," Ross looked to the ground, and scuffed his shoe on the tiled floor angrily.
"Ross—"
"No, it's fine," Ross sighed, "I've gotta go," he turned and walked out of the coffee shop quickly.
"Ross!" Rachel called, but to no avail. She sighed and took a shaky breath, her nerves frazzled. She turned around to talk to Joey, but found that he was gone. When had he left? And how had she not noticed? She sat down in her chair heavily, tears welling up in her eyes, as she watched the crowds swarm by, unaware of the pain that filled her heart.
"Come on, Chandler, where else are you gonna go?"
Chandler sighed, and looked down at his feet. He and Claire were standing on her front porch, debating over whether or not he should join the Christmas party happening inside.
"I don't want to intrude…this is a family thing," Chandler argued.
"Oh give me a break! You know that you are practically family! My mother will be very disappointed if you don't at least make an appearance."
"Fine," Chandler relented, "but there'd better be booze in
that egg nog."
Claire smiled broadly and led Chandler into the house, where small groups of
total strangers were huddled, talking animatedly about their lives. The house was warm and dimly lit, and
smelled like mulled wine. In the
background was the faint sounds of cheesy holiday music, often muffled my
roaring laughter emanating from one of the various groups.
Chandler pasted on a fake smile, and kept close to Claire, who was expertly weaving her way through the crowds and toward the kitchen. They had almost made it to the kitchen, but were stopped in their tracks by Claire's maternal grandmother.
"Claire, sweetheart! Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas, Grandma!" Claire smiled, and kissed her grandmother quickly.
"And this must be John! Oh my, he is much more handsome in person!"
"Um, no…Grandma, this isn't John. This is Chandler. He's a friend of mine."
"Oh…well, you have so many boyfriends I just can't keep them apart!" Claire's grandmother laughed, and Claire reddened. Her grandmother wandered away, leaving Claire and Chandler in an uncomfortable silence.
"You okay?" Chandler put a reassuring hand on Claire's shoulder and she started slightly, before looking up at him.
"Y-yeah…let's get some egg nog, huh?"
Chandler nodded and the duo headed into the kitchen. Claire filled two glasses with the foamy white drink, then handed Chandler a glass, before leading him to a small stoop at the base of the main stairwell. They took a seat on the step, and silently observed the crowd for several moments.
"Do you guys always have big parties like this?" Chandler asked quietly.
"We used to. I think my mom is trying to make everyone forget about all this…stuff, ya know?"
"Yeah," Chandler sighed, and sipped his drink slowly, "My parents used to have parties like this…before…before everything started going bad."
"Bad?" Claire looked at Chandler quizzically.
"My dad started cheating on my mom…and she started drinking. And it all went bad," Chandler explained grimly.
"Oh. I-I'm sorry."
"So you might say that it's ironic that I am so upset about losing them—I mean, they weren't exactly stellar parents."
"But they were still your parents," Claire noted.
"Yeah, I know. And they really are all I have. I wish—"Chandler stopped and shook his head.
"What?" Claire laid her hand on Chandler's arm, urging him to continue.
"I wish I could change things…change the things I said to my dad before I left…told my mom how much I love her. I wish I…I wish things were different," he muttered.
"Me too," Claire smiled sadly, and placed her head on Chandler's shoulder.
They sat silently for several moments, until Carolyn walked by.
"Hey you two, why so glum? It's Christmas!"
Claire looked up at her mother and smiled.
"Sorry Mom, we were just…thinking about the past."
"Well you should be focusing on the future…speaking of which…you two are right under my strategically placed mistletoe!" Carolyn grinned, and wandered away.
Claire and Chandler both looked up to find a mess of green leaves staring down at them. The looked at each other, blushed, and turned away.
"My mom has clearly been dipping into that egg nog," Claire laughed uncomfortably.
"Yeah," Chandler laughed and studied his hands.
The sat in silence for a second more, before scrambling off of the step and rushing back into the kitchen.
"More egg nog?" Claire said quickly.
"Sure," Chandler shoved his glass forward stiffly, and smiled.
Claire filled the glasses, and both downed the drink quickly, then looked at each other awkwardly. Chandler broke into a grin, and seconds later, both began to giggle.
"I think we are taking this party way too seriously," Clare laughed.
"I agree," Chandler nodded, and stepped toward Claire, "I need more 'nog."
Claire nodded, and grabbed Chandler's glass, her fingers lightly brushing his. She felt her face heat up again, but stayed rooted to her spot.
Chandler let out a breath, and Claire felt it on her cheek. She looked up at Chandler, her eyes wide with fear and anticipation.
Their eyes locked, and the world around them seemed to blur, then spin. Chandler swallowed hard as Claire leaded toward him, and suddenly, he could hear his heart inside his head. The thumping drowned out everything around him, and all he could do was close his eyes.
The kiss was hesitant, at first, but progressively became more passionate. The glass Claire was holding slipped from her fingers, and went crashing to the ground, sending a burst of glass across the floor unnoticed. Two entwined bodies fell lifelessly against the back wall, arms and legs and lips becoming one.
A fog of unreality surrounded them—passion felt for another explored in that first kiss.
Then, as though time had started up again, the sounds of the party came rushing back to their ears, the cold surface they were pressed to felt. They pulled away, and stared at each other, their eyes wide and wet with tears.
"Claire, I—"
She put her hand on his lips, and shushed him.
"I know," she whispered, "me too."
He nodded silently, and kissed her once more.
She straightened her dress nervously, before knocking on the front door. She felt her breathing increase, as heavy footsteps neared, and she took a deep breath, trying to calm her jagged nerves.
The door swung open, and Ross looked down at her, his face showing an odd combination of surprise and guilt.
"R-Rachel, hi," Ross stammered, "Um, what are you doing here?"
"I…I think we need to talk, Ross," Rachel said softly, and let herself into the house.
"Rach, I don't know if now is a good time," Ross said quickly, as he followed her into the living room.
Rachel stopped when she saw that Jack and Judy Geller were seated in the living room, with two men she didn't recognize. The first man was wearing a uniform similar to the one Ross wore the day he left for Vietnam—the second man was wearing a plain black suit.
"Rachel?" Jack stood up, "I didn't know you were back…where's—"
"Rachel, dear, these men are from the US Government," Judy interrupted.
"Hello," Rachel smiled politely, "I didn't know you had company. I-I'll come back another time." Rachel turned to leave.
"No, it's alright, Miss, this won't take long."
Rachel looked at Ross, and noted that he looked anxious for her to leave. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, and she turned around and walked fully into the room.
She heard Ross take a nervous breath.
"So, as we were saying Private Geller, your wife's death has left us with something of a quandary. All of the paperwork we have says that the boy they found with your wife is yours. We'll need to perform some tests to be certain, but even if you are the father, it is going to be difficult for an unmarried veteran with no job to adopt the boy."
Rachel's eyes widened, as she listened to the Suit-clad Man speak. Ross was married? And he has a son? What the hell was going on?
The two men stood up, and Rachel felt a wave of nausea course through her.
"We'll be in touch, Private, but in the meantime, you'll need to go down to this military clinic," the Uniformed Man handed Ross a small white card," to have your blood test done."
Ross nodded silently, and watched as Jack and Judy escorted the men to the front door. He looked down at the card, in a vain attempt to avoid Rachel's glare.
"You're married?" Rachel asked calmly, evenly.
"Rach, I'm sorry…I was just trying to get her out of the country, and—"
"You have a son!" Rachel said, her voice rising.
"Look, I know that you are mad, but Rach, I really need your help! I know this sounds crazy, but you heard those guys! If I'm not married, I won't get to keep my son!"
"Ross, that is just ridiculous, I—" Rachel stopped, her jaw dropped incredulously, "Noooooo! I am NOT marrying you, Ross!"
"Rach, it'll just be for a while—just until I get my son! Please Rach!"
"Ross! Don't be absurd!" Rachel cried, as Jack and Judy re-entered the living room, "I wouldn't marry you if…if you were the last man on Earth!" Rachel screamed, and stormed out of the house.
Jack and Judy stared at their son for a long moment, before Jack finally spoke.
"Geez, son, you really have a way with the women, don't you?"
AN: I was reading over this first part again, and I realized that you all may assume that when I say 'coffeeshop' here, I am talking about Central Perk. I'm not. The characters are in Rockefeller Center, which is nowhere near the Central Park, and is thus, nowhere near Central Perk. Just wanted to clear that up, LOL.
