Disclaimer: I do not own these characters

/

Setting: Thursday, December 25, 2003

Friday, December 26, 2003


Chapter 6: Broken Heart


Dana lightly knocked on the bedroom door. "Lu? It's Dana. Can I come in?"

"Yeah." Lu's voice was soft, barely audible. Dana opened the door, wondering what shape she would find her friend in. Lu was sitting on the bed leaning against the headboard, hugging a pillow to her chest.

"Lu, supper's ready. I thought maybe you'd like to join us." Dana said softly.

"No, thanks." Lu replied. "I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat, Lu. You've been locked up in here ever since you got here this afternoon. I...I was hoping maybe we could talk for a bit." Lu bit her lip, remaining silent. She knew Dana had questions.

"I'm sorry, Dana." Lu said softly. "I...I just need to be alone." Dana nodded in understanding.

"I understand, Lu. Let me know if you need anything." Lu nodded slowly as Dana started to close the door. Dana paused briefly, then turned to face Lu.

"Is that why you came out here, Lu? To be alone?" Lu stared after her as she gently closed the door. Lu knew Dana was right. She had come out here because she didn't want to be alone. She had been here for several hours, and had spent most of that time in this bedroom, sitting alone with her thoughts of Mickey, his tragic death, and the Christmas gift she had just received.

Suddenly feeling exhausted and emotionally spent, Lu curled up on the bed, closing her eyes and drifting into a troubled sleep.


Lu slowly opened her eyes and glanced around the room, for a moment forgetting where she was. Her eyes came to rest on the clock on the night stand beside the bed. 1:45am. She lay there a moment, trying to shake the fogginess from her mind.

"I need some air." She mumbled. She made her way through the house until she reached the front door. She opened the door and quietly slipped outside.


Dana poured herself a cup of coffee as she gazed out the kitchen window, enjoying the quiet of the early morning. It was just beginning to get light, and she knew her daughters would be up soon, as would Julie.

Dana took a sip of her coffee. There were times when she missed her friends and co-workers here in Philadelphia, but she knew she would never regret her decision to move back to her home in Virginia to make a better life for her two daughters.

Her life in Philadelphia and centered around her work at the RWHC, and would not be a proper place to raise her children. Her hectic schedule at the clinic would take her away from the girls very often, and she had known that that would be no life for them. So she had made the decision to move.

Leaving the RWHC had been difficult, especially saying good-bye to her many friends and co-workers. They had been like family to her. Even Lu.

True, they had often found themselves on opposite sides of an issue, but in the end, they had realized that they had been good for each other, each learning from the other.

Dana frowned. Nick had been right. Lu was in a great deal of pain. She could see it. And still, Lu would not admit that she was hurting. Or that she needed or wanted help.

Dana finished her coffee, then put the cup in the sink. As she started to move away from the sink, a sudden movement caught her eye.

"What in the...oh Lu." Dana said, seeing Lu standing on the walk around deck, her arms wrapped tightly around herself in the chilly December air.

Dana put her jacket on and hurried outside to where Lu was standing, approaching her from behind.

"Lu?" Dana said quietly, not wanting to startle her.

"What are you doing out here?" Lu asked without turning around.

"I could ask you the same thing." Dana replied. "How long have you been standing out here?" Lu shrugged.

"Since about 2 I guess."

"My god, Lu. It's freezing out here. Come back inside. We can talk." Lu remained silent, causing Dana to wonder if Lu had even heard her. After several moments of silence, Lu spoke softly, her voice heavy with emotion.

"I loved him, Dana. And now..." Lu's voice trailed off.

"I heard he was very special." Dana replied. Lu turned to face Dana, a questioning look in her eyes.

"I had dinner with Nick the other night. He told me how special Mickey was to you." Dana explained. Lu nodded.

"Yeah. He cared about me. He cared about Marc. It never bothered him that Marc was someone else's kid. He didn't treat Marc like he was someone else's kid. He understood by commitment to the clinic and to my patients. He was always willing to work our time together around my schedule. He never asked me to choose between him and my patients. He always made time for me."

"He sounds like a very nice person, Lu." Lu nodded.

"When he died..." Lu paused, then turned away from Dana, not wanting her to see the tears that were welling up in her eyes. Dana gently touched Lu's shoulder, silently letting her know that she was there for her. Lu took a deep breath.

"In the ER that night...he was...he was bleeding so bad. I knew it was bad, Dana. Nick said...Nick said he was already gone, that there was no brain activity. But I had to do something. I couldn't just not do something. I put in a breathing tube. I had to at least try. I had to..." Lu paused again, finding it difficult to continue as the horrific memories from that night came flooding back to her. Dana waited silently, giving Lu the time she needed to continue. She could readily see how difficult it was for her.

"I'm sure you did whatever you could, Lu." Dana offered gently." Lu wrapped her arms tighter around herself. Dana could see that Lu was cold, as she was wearing just a light shirt and jeans, not heavy enough to protect her from the early morning cold.

"You should come inside, Lu. You're cold." Dana suggested. "I'll fix you some coffee and we can talk." Lu was silent for a moment. She knew Dana was right. She was cold. Very cold. But still, she couldn't go inside. She knew that soon the children would be up.

Lu took a deep breath as the memories of events leading up to that horrible night came flooding back to her.

"She was my patient, Dana. I knew she was unstable. I knew she was a danger to herself and others. I committed her to the psych ward. But they released her without even notifying me. I tried to find her. I talked to her boss. He had fired her. She had threatened to blow his head off. I told him that I had reason to believe that she would do it. I...I couldn't find her. I went back to the clinic. Andy's daughter was having back surgery, and I went down to see how it was going. I...I was arrested and..." Dana interrupted.

"Arrested"? For what?"

"Andy had found an abandoned baby in the dumpster outside the hospital. The baby died. The cops wanted to go through her files and mine to try to find out who may have dumped her. I refused. So they took me to jail."

"But Lu..." Dana started, but Lu continued.

"I spent the night there. And while I was gone, Aneishia showed up at the clinic asking for me. Lana told her I wasn't in. Lana said she seemed really fidgety and nervous. Then she left. I got there soon after. I wanted to go look for her, but Lana told me I should take a shower and a nap first, and deal with Aneishia later. So I took her advice. I know I must have looked pretty awful." Lu paused for a moment. Dana waited in silence for her to continue. After a few moments, Lu started again, her voice heavy with emotion.

"After work, Mickey and I went out. Marc was staying with his dad for the weekend. I was going to ask him that night if he wanted to move in with us. When we got inside, we realized that we were not alone. I saw Aneishia standing there. Then I saw the gun. Mickey...Mickey saw it too. He...he put his arms around me and spun me around. Then I heard the shot. And...and Mickey fell to the floor. He was bleeding so bad, Dana. He...he had been shot in the head. I called 911. I...I rode to the hospital with him. I was scared, Dana. I knew it was real bad." Lu paused again, taking a deep breath.

"Lu, Mickey was a special person to have done what he did. I can see that he loved you very much."

"Mickey died because of me, Dana. Aneishia was my patient. That bullet was meant for me. If I had been at the clinic that day, none of this would have happened. If she hadn't been released from the psych ward, none of this would have happened. If I hadn't committed her to the psych ward in the first place, none of this would have happened." Dana quickly realized how much guilt Lu had been carrying around with her since Mickey's death six months earlier.

"Lu, you can't blame yourself. It was not your fault. You had no way of knowing that that woman was going to break like that. You did everything you had to do. You did everything right. You did what you had to do, and Mickey did what he had to do. He did what he did to protect the woman he loves. Mickey is a hero, Lu. I just thank God that it wasn't you that got shot." Lu was silent for a moment, then turned to face Dana.

"But don't you see, Dana? It should have been me."