Evening Etude

At some point the door opens and Albus enters. He smiles happily at us and announces dinner is to be served in fifteen minutes. There will be an extra chair at the staff table for me. I thank him and ask if I can stay at the castle some more, because I do not want to leave Harry and Remus so early. I doubt they would let me go anyway. The headmaster nods and Remus volunteers to take me in. I am happy he does. This way Harry can come down and be three can be together. Maybe Remus and I can be together without Harry, too?

Naughty you, I tell myself, and try to bring my eyes off Remy's cute bum. I fail terribly.

Harry still clings to me, as we walk over to Remus' chambers to fresh up a little. His face is tear-stained and his eyes red and blotchy. Not advisable to go to the great hall like that.

He throws some cold water into his face, as do Remus and I. We still have about ten minutes before dinner and I want to come a tad late to make a bigger appearance. Remus shakes his head as I tell him, and Harry giggles girlishly at his disapproval. Remus does not like attention very much.

While I watch him more closely, I can see his rips poke out. Not even the shabby robe can hide the fact that he is much too thin. His hair got greyer too, and his eyes are hollow and dull. But, when I meet them, there is a golden sparkle and so much emotion I get stuck gazing into those wonderful amber depths.

Harry clears his throat and I turn around quickly. Remus is suddenly very occupied with tying his bootstraps, but his red face betrays him. Suddenly I see a gleam of understanding in Harry's eyes and I am afraid he will object, but he does not. He smiles and gives me a thumb up while Remus has turned his back on us. Little Marauder!

I chuckle and Remus looks at me disapprovingly. He eyes me and pulls me into his bedroom. I am already confused if he wants IT now, but then he opens the wardrobe and lends me some clothes. I had already forgotten that I am only wearing some trousers and a shirt that a Muggle gave me. Hey, at least I didn't turn up naked!

We enter the great hall when everybody is already seated. I can feel hundreds of eyes on me, but for once they do not look in fear or hatred, but in empathy and joy. Remus quickly sits down in his chair to avoid as much attention as he can, but when I want to have a seat next to him, Harry does not let go of my hand.

When I look at him, he is nearly crying again.

"Can you come with me to the Gryffindor table? If I let go now, you'll disappear again!" He says silently and looks embarrassed. But I cab understand him, so I exchange a glance with Remy and join my godson at his house table.

We take our seats between Ron and Hermione, who look a bit confused, but very happy. They tell us Dumbledore held a little speech before we entered about what happened – whatever happened with me?!

I really don't know.

The Gryffindors are friendly and we talk about Quidditch. They have their first match of the season against Ravenclaw this weekend. Harry will catch the snitch, I know that already.

"Hey Harry?" I say.

"Yes?"

"What about that Ravenclaw seeker? Didn't you have a crush on her last year?"

I recognize how he stiffens a little. I fear I reminded him of Cedric again. He told me in that summer that they had been a couple.

"Erg – no, things did not work so well last year. We went to Hogsmeade together one day, but she was just... I guess she isn't my type after all," he says apolitically.

"Oh, never mind. That's only your business." I try to act parental and he flushes.

Ginny and Hermione giggle, along with the other girls. Ron nudges Harry's rips and the latter glares at his redheaded friend. I smile. They are really cute.

The conversation goes on, but I do not participate anymore. My gaze runs along the room to the staff table, where Remus watches me. I grin at him and raise my goblet. I bet he would like to be down here right now, too. Pity he can't. Rules...

Snape is looking quite haggard. From what I heard he is still spying on Voldemort rather effectively. But such a life can hardly be comfortable.

Did I just feel empathy for SNAPE? Erg... - pity, rather.

The git glares at me and then looks at Harry, who nods at the ugly bastard and smiles. To my huge surprise, Snape smiles back and then maliciously grins at me. Harry snorts beside me and I turn to my godson.

"What was that about?" I ask incredulously.

"Oh," he blushes "Severus has helped me a great deal over the summer, you know, after the break down and all..." he trails off and I don't ask any further.

"It's okay, Harry. I know he isn't that bad."

Of course he is! How can Dumbledore let that rotten asshole near my precious Harry? Calm yourself, a voice in the back of my head says and I take a deep breath. Relax, old dog. Snape is a human and Albus trusts him, for whatever reason. Cool down. Take a lemon drop!

"He's been helpful AND friendly – you could at least try and be civil!" Harry complains.

That boy definitely knows me too well. Remus seems quite amused at our little display.

So is Snape. But then he nods at me and it seems like some kind of truce.

Fine. For Harry's sake.

I nod back.

I think I'm going to be sick!