Disclaimer: If you don't know by now, I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. To make things worse then they already are, I have become depressed without Johnny. T_T

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The three of us spent several *long* days on aboard the Interceptor. Much to my chagrin (and Jack's) there was no rum to be found. This put me in such a bad mood that even Jack avoided me most of the time. I think Will would have avoided me either way. I did manage to find out that Will didn't drink. At all.

"Rum. I need rum," I dead- panned. I had been saying this nonstop practically the whole way.

"We know love," Jack replied absently.

Tortuga could be seen in the distance, and the three of us were standing next to Jack at the helm.

"I don't understand you *pirates* obsession with rum. I don't find it that fascinating in the least." This was Will. The bitterness with which he said 'pirates' made me flinch slightly.

"I think that has something to do with the fact that he's a eunuch," Jack said in an undertone.

"I am *not* a eunuch!" Will cried, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"You have all the signs of being one you know," I said. "The biggest being your thing with rum. There is *nothing* wrong with rum. In fact, I couldn't live without it."

"Very true," Jack said. "But a eunuch wouldn't understand that. Tell me Will, have you ever drinken at all?"

Will looked slightly uncomfortable. "Once or twice," he admitted. "But I'll never do it again. It gave me a horrible headache the next morning."

"That, dear William, would be a hangover," I explained. "Luckily for you, you weren't throwing up the next morning. Now, I, on the other hand, can consume unrealistic amounts of rum, ale, whiskey, or anything alcoholic with out getting a hangover the next morning."

Jack nodded. "Aye, the more often you drink, the higher toleration you have." He grinned wickedly. "We'll have to work on that."

Will didn't answer to this, and instead stared out at Tortuga, growing closer in the distance.

~*~*~

"More importantly, it is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep this sweet, proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga , savvy? What do you think?" Jack asked, talking to Will. I rolled my eyes.

"Such big words for someone like you," I teased. Jack gave me an annoyed look. And, of course, Will ignored me all together.

"It'll linger," he replied to Jack, making a point not to look at me. 'It seems he's resorted to the silent treatment,' I thought.

"I'll tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," Jack continued.

Yes, Tortuga was a great place. I would give him that, but 'sweet, proliferous bouquet' is not exactly how I would describe it. In fact, I don't even know what 'proliferous' means. 'Best to pretend I do.'

Will looked quite nervous at the chaos that is Tortuga. There is no set order, and everyone runs around wildly. It's a town of pirates, drunks, and whores, there's no in between. 'Speaking of whores,' I thought. We had just come across several of them that Jack seemed to be "familiar" with.

"Scarlett!" Jack exclaimed, calling to a very repulsive- looking redhead. Catching sight of him, her demeanor changed drastically. Actually, it was a look I was quite familiar with: the look of a pissed off women.

"Uh-oh," I muttered. Jack shot me a brief questioning look before turning his attention back to the redheaded prostitute. She stormed over to him, reared her hand back, and slapped him as hard as she could. Jack's head snapped back from the force of her blow.

"Not sure I deserved that," he said stupidly. "Giselle!" he exclaimed, seeing another, this time blond, whore striding toward him. Pausing in front of him, she shot him a glare.

"Who was *she*?" she snipped, and slapped Jack with more force than the previous.

"I may have deserved that," Jack said.

Giselle then turned her angry, overly done face to me. "Watch out for him," she warned, and stalked away.

By now I was laughing so hard I could barely breath. I looked at Jack and opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

"Don't say a *word*," he snapped irritably, seemingly not as amused by the whole scenario as I was.

We followed Jack for a while, through dark alleyways and main thoroughfares. He was obviously searching for someone.

"Damn it Jack!" I cursed after two hours of wandering. "What the hell are we looking for?"

Jack stopped suddenly in front of a pigpen. "That is what we're looking for love," he said, pointing at a man who was sleeping with the pigs. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "That is disgusting," I complained. Will nodded in agreement. Grinning, Jack motioned us to stay where we were and he disappeared into the tavern we were next to. He came back out moments later with a couple of buckets of water, and threw one onto the sleeping man.

"Curse you for breathing, you slack-jawed idiot!" he bellowed, looking around wildly. Then he noticed us standing there. "Mother's love! Jack ! You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleeping. 'S bad luck."

Jack smiled crookedly at him. "Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys, the man who was sleeping, a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking." Both Will and the man blinked stupidly at this. Sadly, pig-sty man figured it out first. (A/N: Sorry Will fangirls, couldn't help meself!! *wicked grin*)

"Aye, that'll about do it," the man replied, grinning back. Will picked up the other bucket and threw it on him. "Blast! I'm already awake!"

"That was for the smell," Will stated. I couldn't help but smile at this. 'He has a sense of humor after all!' I thought. 'Or was he being serious?'

"Rachel, Will, this is Gibbs," Jack introduced. "Gibbs, this is Captain Rachel Harris." I nodded in greeting. "And this is William Turner." Gibbs shot jack an odd look. "Tell ya later mate," Jack whispered so that Will couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Hello," Will said.

"Well," said Jack, clapping his hands together. "Let's get that drink shall we?"

"Finally!" I exclaimed, and led the way to the neighboring tavern. Looking up at the sign I read ''The Faithful Bride''. 'How ironic,' I thought.

Stepping inside, I inhaled deeply and the scent of rum, sweat, sex, and other unknown things filled my nostrils. 'Home sweet home,' I thought and made my way over to the bar and ordered three rums. Jack and Gibbs had gone into a back room, away from the brawls and had apparently posted Will as look out.

I paused before I went in. "Sure ye don't want anything mate?" I asked.

"I'm fine."

Shrugging I continued into the room. "Your loss," I called over my shoulder. I set two of the rums on the table for Jack and Gibbs, and sat down in a seat in the corner.

Jack gave me an annoyed look. "Why don't ye go stand watch with the whelp?" he suggested. I glared at him.

"Not moving."

"Really Rachel, this doesn't concern you," he said.

"I really think it does," I shot back.Gibbs was watching us silently.

"Someone has to make sure he doesn't get himself killed!" Jack exclaimed desperately.

"He's a big boy," I countered and leaned back in my chair. "Besides, you owe me a few explanations as it were."

"If I recall correctly, you owe me just as many," Jack replied, smiling deviously.

I gave him a hard look. "Fine then. I'll tell you about myself if you let me in on this," I offered.

"All right then. Do we have an accord?" Jack asked.

"Aye," I answered, and we shook on it.

TBC

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A/N: Bwahahaha!! I'm the queen of laziness!!!!! And of short pointless chapters!! *laughs maniacly*
Anywho, I'm going to Orlando on Monday with a friend! *does ecstatic dance* And I'll be gone 'till Friday, so this will prob be the last time I update 'till then. *readers look sad* But have no fear! I will update on Friday(most likely) and if not then, then on Saturday! Now on to reviewer shoutouts! And it just occured to me I didn't promise y'all any reward for reviewing last chapter. So y'all get free tickets to LOTR: RotK movie!

Jessi Lupin- Thanks for the review! I'm sorry you're sick! Hope ya feel better! Here be your movie tickets! (even though you've already seen it. Just go again! Cuz its a great awesome movie!)

CentrefoldPirate- Thank you very much for the review! Yes, Will and Rachel really don't like each other. As weird as that is. *shrugs* Your welcome for the rum. Now ye get movie tickets to RotK! *starts dreaming bout Aragorn and Legolas*

emeraldmedallion- I'm so glad you like the story! Personally, I wish I was Rachel too. 'Twould be fun to piss off Will and Jack all the time! Sadly, Johnny Depp was takin from my basement. Hence my depression. *sighs* here's your tickets!

San San As Herself- I'm begining to think you're a jinx mate! Lol. *Hopefully* movie tickets are safe. Just don't choke on a piece of popcorn. that would be bad. *grins*

Now, for all ye other scurvy dogs, REVIEW! And I just might give y'all movie tickets or something else really neato!! *grins* Well, bubye!

Happy New Year!

~TheSiriusSparrow!