Of spies and sugar

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family".

**

Hello, my dear readers. I decided for a change to write an LXG fic, you poor souls you. For continuitys sake, this is set in 1900, a year after the movie. Why this year, I hear you ask? It's the year the first Herseys milk chocolate bar began to be sold...I think you may know where I'm going with this. Heh heh heh.

**

Chapter 1 - A package

**

Ahhh, shore leave. That wonderfull time when the residents of the Nautilus could get out, stretch their legs, take in the local surroundings..or pickpocket and/or scare the locals. Maybe the last option just belonged to Skinner, unless you counted the times Jekyll and Hyde chose to have an argument with themselves. It also meant the members of the League could get as far away from each other as possible for a short while. This was the biggest blessing of all, as close as they had become to each other in the past year, being trapped in a submarine with so many conflicting characters did put a strain on the team. And so, the League members often put themselves up in seperate hotel rooms...and in some cases, seperate hotels and did their best to deny each others existance for the time spent on land...all except for Tom Sawyer. Sawyer, unlike the other members of the League, hadn't spent alot of time alone, and wasn't really one for solitude. Because of this, he chose this day, the final morning of shore leave, to take it upon himself to be sure all his friends were ready for their trip back into the Nautilus. He whistled happily to himself as he bounded up the steps of one of the hotels in their port of call in London. He'd already found Jekyll, and Nemo was already aboard his vessel, prefering to sleep there than anywhere else. Now all he had to do was find Mina and Skinner and his duties would be done.

"Can I help you, Sir?", drawled a very bored desk-clerk.

"I sure hope you can", said Sawyer cheerfully, leaning on the desk, "I'm looking for either a Mrs Mina Harker or a Mr Rodney Skinner, have either checked in?".

"I'm sorry, Sir", said the clerk, "but I cannot divulge such information, hotel policy".

"Darn, that's a crying shame", said Sawyer, trying to peer over the desk at the signing-in book, "because I have a very urgent message for each of them. It's a matter of national emergency"

The clerk looked unimpressed.

"Indeed, Sir", he said dryly, "but hotel rules forbid me to...".

"Would it help if I told you I was part of the American Secret Service?", tried Sawyer.

"Only if we were in America, Sir", said the clerk, "which, we are not...Good-day, Sir".

Sawyer blinked at him for a moment more, before sighing defeatedly and walking away from the desk. Okay, so he needed a plan, he wasn't a spy for nothing. Oooh, he could get a coat hanger, straighten it out, and use it to hook keys off the wall behind the clerk...as soon as he found out which rooms his friends were staying in, that was. Now, how to do that...

"Good Morning, Mr Sawyer"

"GAH!", Sawyer jumped in the air as Mina blinked from behind him, having just come into the lobby.

"I'm sorry", she said, "I did not mean to startle you..."

"You didn't", insisted Sawyer, "I knew you were there the whole time, I was just demonstrating a...err.. a defence tactic, yeah, that's it".

"Of course", Mina humoured him.

Sawyer cleared his throat, ready to do his job.

"Nemo says we're casting off early this morning", he said, "we need to be back on the Nautilus for eleven".

Mina gave a nod.

"Fair enough", she said, then tried to go around the American agent, who stood her her way.

"Say, all I need to find now is Skinner, know where he is?".

"Why on earth would I want to know where Skinner is?", she said rolling her eyes, before sighing, "room sixteen. He tried to 'vistit' me last night. Unfortunately for him, I was out.....trying the local cuisine".

Sawyer grimmaced, knowing exactly what 'local cuisine' meant for Mia.

"Thanks for the image", he said, "I'll..err..go get him".

"You do that", said Mina placidly, walking away.

**

Half an hour later, using his 'hook' method, Sawer had been able to get a spare set of keys for Skinners room, and so had ehaded off to find his invisble companion. As he entered the room, he noted the Skinner-shaped lump of sheets on the bed, moving in a breathing motion. Sawyer decided to wake him up in the same 'gentle' way he'd awoken Jekyll.

"GOOD MORNING, SKINNER!!!", he shouted, pulling open the curtains, letting the morning light flood into the room.

"ARGGH!", came Skinner's voice, the sheets of the bed being pulled up and forming the shape of a head, "Sawyer, do the words 'transparent eyelids' mean ANYTHING to you?".

"Aww don't be such a wuss", said Sawyer, "it's a lovely morning day!"

Skinners dark glasses floated up from his nightstand, hovering in mid-air where his eyes were. If Saywer could have seen him, he would have seen Skinner wearing a deadly scowl. Unfortunately, one of the downsides of being invisible was that dirty looks were very much less effective than if you were visible.

"How the bloody hell did you get into my room and why are you so cheery?".

Skinner, apparently, was not a morning person.

"I stole some spare keys and came to tell you that we have to be in the Nautilus by eleven", said Sawyer in one breath.

"Okay, I'll be there", replied Skinner, then waited for a few moments, "... have you got somewhere else to go?"

Sawyer pondered this, then decided being on an invisible man's 'bad side' wouldn't be a good thing.

"Yeah, I'm going to see if there are any packages for me at the Post Office..er..bye".

With that, he left Skinner to...whatever he did in the morning...He wondered how the guy shaved?

**

At eleven, everyone had, as promised, got onto the Nautilus. Skinner was back to his usual post-morning cheekyness, Jekyll was nervy, while Mina was, well, Mina. Sawyer whistled happily as he headed aboard and into the main room where they all met to decide where they were going. He dropped a large box on the table, causing his fellow League members to look at it curiously.

"Mr Sawyer", said Nemo carefully, "what is in the box...it had better not be another pet".

The last time Sawyer had tried to bring a 'pet' aboard the Nautilus, all Hell had broken lose. Sadly, Sawyer had chosen a puppy, which, on sniffing the insivible Skinner, had freaked out and ran around the ship until he was caught a few hours later, leaving a trail of destruction in his path.....Sawyer had NOT been popular that day.

"Nah", said Sawyer, "who wants a pet when we have Mr Hyde"

*Smarmy little Git*, was Hyde's reply.

"Shhhh", said Jekyll.

"What did he say?", asked Nemo.

"He said he wishes Mr Sawyer would keep his personal jokes to himself", said Jekyll.

*No, I didn't. Stop putting words in my mouth!*

Jekyll chose to ignore his alter ego as Sawyer opened the box.

"Ta daaa!", he said proudly, pulling out a small brown-wrapped item from the box with the words 'Hershey' written on them, "Aunt Polly sent these out to me. They've just started selling them back home"

"It's....American", said Nemo, trying to hide a hint of distaste in his voice.

"Yes, it's American", said Sawyer, "like me".

"But...what IS it?", said Skinner, cocking his greasepainted face to the side.

"It's chocolate", said Sawyer.

"I'm not entirely fond of the stuff", replied Nemo, the seasoned traveler.

"But it's not ordinary chocolate", said Sawyer, "it's MILK Chocolate, brand new, supposed to be real tasty. Anyone want some?"

"I'm not hungry", replied Mina, "I filled up last night"

"Please don't give any more information than that", said Jekyll with a shudder.

*Wimp*, from Hyde, *I like girls with a bite of....bite*.

"Unless you want to see me digest it, I think I better pass", said Skinner, besides he'd had enough of 'trying out new things', that's how he got into his current mess to begin with.

Sawyer sighed, looking hopefully to his less 'digestively challenged' teamates.

"No, thank you", said Jekyll, "I don't think a high ammount of sugar would be good for...us".

*Awwww*, said Hyde, *I wanted some, let me have some of Sawyers chocolate!!!*

"No!", replied Jekyll firmly.

Not a single person batted an eyelid as Jekyll argued with his other phsyce....they were quite used to it by now.

"As I said before", said Nemo, "I am not fond of the stuff. It's too sweet for my liking".

"Well", said Sawyer, trying to hide the fact that his peace offering wasn't as wanted as he thought it would be, "I guess there's all the more for me"

With that, he picked up his box and headed off for his room.

**

A while later, after the Nautilus was far out to sea, but not yet submerged, Jekyll, Skinner, Mina and Nemo were sitting in the dining room. Granted, Mina and Skinner (currently without his greasepaint) weren't actually eating, but still, sometimes things such as vampirism and invisibility just get in the way of things like that. Suddenly, one of Nemo's crew hurried into the room, whispered somethig to Nemo, then hurried back out. Nemo blinked once.

"Oh", he said, then cleared his throat, "apparently, Mr Sawyer is dancing around on the deck, signing 'Daisy Daisy' very loudly".

There was silence for a while.

"Didn't I tell you to leave the lock on the liqour cabinet, Skinner?", said Mina, giving the invisible man an accusing glare...or at least where his clothing was floating.

"Hey", said Skinner, holding up a pair of gloved hands, "I did, it's still locked now"

He paused.

"...Anyone want to go watch him?"

There was another pause, Jekyll blinked.

"Hyde says he wouldn't miss it for anything", he said, standing up, "...I'd better repsect his wishes, or he'll sulk all day".

Nemo tried to think of a good reason to go, other than his own enjoyment of watching their youngest member make a complete fool of himself.

"...I need to...make sure he does not harm my ship", he said, "yes, that's it".

Mina sighed, rolling her eyes and standing up.

"I gues I should be there in case he decides to jump overboard and I have to go in and get him".

Skinner looked at all his teammates as they made up their excuses.

"Fair enough", he said, "I'm just going to watch him for a bloody good laugh".

**

"Dai-sy Dai-sy give me your an-swer do, I'm half cra-zy all for the love of you".

Sawayer sang loudly as he walked along the barrier of the Natiulus's deck. By the time his other League members had arrived, he was attempting to do it while hopping.

"It won't be a styl-ish marriage, I can't af-ford a carriage. But you'd look sweet, up-on the seat, of a Bi-cy-cle built for two-ooooooooooooo!".

He made his big finnish and bowed, then noticed his teammates loking at him in a mixture of worry, bemusement, irritation, and...whatever it was Skinner was showing.

"Hey guys!", he said cheerily, "want to join me in a song?".

"....Mr sawyer, what on Earth is wrong with you?", said Mina, blinking.

"I'm fiiiiiiiiine", said Sawyer, "never better".

"He sounds like Skinner when he's had too much to drink", mused Jekyll.

"That ri...", Skinner paused, "HEY!".

Nemo blinked a few times before sighing.

"Mr Sawyer, how many bars of that infernal chocolate did you consume?".

Saywer paused, making a face that was obviously counting.

"I had...", he paused again, "the whoooooole lot!"

"Well", coughed Jekyll, "that explains it. Mr Sawyer has consumed too much sugar....he'll will be hyperactive for quite some time".

"Oh goodie", said Nemo dryly, "he had better not go anywhere near my machinery".

Sawyer, meanwhile, had sat down on the bar of the deck, and had begun to giggle manically.

*You hold him, and I'll punch*, said Hyde, *we'll have him down for the count in seconds, he can sleep it off*

As tempting as the offer was, Jekyll chose to ignore it and chose instead to fiddle with his pocket watch.

"Come on everybody!", said Sawyer, "lets have a sing-along"

Skinner's glasses lowered to a point where they would have been on the bridge of his nose, so he could look over them at Sawyer. Had he been visible, one would have seen an arched brow.

"Uhhh...huh", he said, then blinked as Sawyer plucked his hat off his head, "give that back!",

Sawyer put the hat on his head, then jumped off the bar onto the bridge.

"Look at me!", he said, "I'm Rodney Skinner, and I'm invisible, look at me!!!".

"....I think that is a major contradiction, Sawyer", said Mina, shaking her head.

She swiftly took the cap off Sawyer and deposited it on Skinner's head.

"Oww", replied Skinner, "you nicked my ear".

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you", replied Mina with fake concern.

"You knew I was there", protested Skinner, "you always do!".

"Please don't start fighting...again", said Nemo with a sigh.

Jekyll had been watching his teammates fight before pausing and glancing around.

"...I hate to interupt", he said, "but...where has Sawyer gone?"

Sawyer had, indeed, wandered off.

"MY SHIP!", cried Nemo, running inside the Nautilus, as if it was one of his own children in dire peril.

"This can not be a good thing", mused Mina.

*****

Bwhahahaha! What on earth can an American Secret Agent on a sugar rush get up to in a submarine? LOTS of things, that's what! The next chapter probably won't be as big. Do review, until next time.....