Of spies and sugar

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Cool, I broke his brain"

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Hi all, thanks for all the reviews, glad you like this insane piece of madness. And there are Skinner fans here! I'm with MY people *snuggles Skinner film cell*

Rurouni Tyriel - Nope, the transparent eyelids I got from the original H.G.Wells novel 'The Invisible Man'...poor Griffin, he didn't see that big shovel coming...there's irony.

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Chapter 2 - Capture

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"Where IS he?!!!!".

Nemo looked, to put it gently, traumatised. His poor, beautifull Lady, having a hyperactive American running rampant in her.

"Maybe he decided to take a nap", said Skinner, unhelpfully.

"We have to find him and detain him", said Nemo, "this is worse than having Hyde running around my Lady"

*Hey! I SAVED your stupid boat*

"He can't hear you, Edward", said Jekyll quietly.

*Well, YOU tell him what I said*

"..No...I don't think I will"

The last person to refer to the Nautilus as a 'boat' was very neary tossed overboard..Jekyll didn't want to be on the buisness end of THAT, thank you very much.

"We have to catch him first", pointed out Mina, "it's at times like this we could have used Alan's help".

"Somehow, I don't think the 'Great White Hunter' would be interested in chasing Sawyer on a sugar high", said Skinner, "how are we supposed to find him, anyway?".

"TA RA RA BOOM DE AY!"

"...My guess", said Mina, "we follow the singing"

**

And so, the team had split up to search the Nautilus for the ellusive agent. Luckily, or unluckily, depending on who's opinion you're seeking, Mina was the first to find him. He had sat himself in one of the bathrooms, sitting in a bathtub with a paper hat on his head....singing a bizare song that Mina had never heard in her life.

"We all live in a big long submarine, a big long submarine, a big long submarine", sang Sawyer as he swayed two and fro in the bath.

"...What is that awfull racket?", said Mina, wrinkling up her nose.

"A song!", said Sawyer, turning to grin at her, "I just made it up"

"It's dreadfull", said Mina, walking slowly up to him..just in acse he chose to bolt.

Sawyer pouted, crossing his arms.

"One day, It'll be a classic, you'll see, then I'll point at you and laugh!".

"....Indeed", said Mina dryly.

Sawyer giggled.

"You want to know a secret?", he said, leaning close to her.

Mina rolled her eyes.

"No, not really", she said, "but I have a sense of dread that you will tell me anyway"

She was right. Sawyer glanced around supsicously before whispering in her ear.

"I have two legs"

Mina arched a brow as Sawyer collapsed in a fit of giggles.

"Well....I can' really disagree with you there", she said, clearing her throat, "now, Mr Sawyer, I think it's time we took you to your room for a little lie down, mmm?"

"I don't want to lie down!", pouted Sawyer, "I'm happy just sitting in my tub".

Okay, so she would have to revert to other tactics. She leaned over him, clasping her hands on her knees and smiling at him as one would a small child.

"Yes, but it is technically not your bath tub", said Mina, "I'm sure you REALLY would feel better in your room. Come on, I'll walk you there"

Sawyer gave her a wairy glance before nodding and climbing out the tub, taking her hand and dragging her off out of the room and up the corridor. Just when Mina thought she was actually getting somewhere, Sawyer stopped dead by a porthole, peering through it into the water.

"Where are all the fish?"

"Mr Sawyer, we have not submerged yet", said Mina patiently, "you'll see the fish then"

Sawyer giggled.

"FISH!!!", he said, "Isn't that a funny word? Fish, fish, fish!"

"...Why's he saying 'fish'", came Skinner's voice from nowhere.

Thankfully, the crew of the Nautilus were used to Skinner just 'appearing' and so were less inclined to jump at a disembodied voice.

"I really wish I knew", said Mina, "what took you so long? I have had to handle him all alone!!!"

"Well, sor-ry!", said Skinner, "I came as quickly as I could. I'm not Phileas Fog, you know".

Sawyer blinked away from his window, looking around for the owner of the voice. Seemingly to have forgotten exactly what Skinner could do, he started to wave his hands in front of him.

"....Hello?", he said.

"Oh look, he's got amnesia", said Skinner with a chuckle, "you know how to cure that? Whack 'em on the head! I saw a whole bunch of big, heavy hammers down in one of the engine rooms..."

"Skinner, we are not, and I stress on the NOT, going to hit Sawyer over the head with any sort of heavy, blunt instrument", said Mina.

"Awwwww, please?", said Skinner, "it'll keep him quiet"

Sawyer sidled up close to Mina, whispering quietly.

"I can hear a voice".

Mina groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"You hear Skinner, Mr Sawyer, only Skinner"

"ONLY Skinner", Skinner muttered, "'oh don't worry, it's just the only Invisible Man in existance, nothing special, just set a few traps down, that will get rid of it'".

"Shut up, Skinner", said Mina.

"You shut up", said Skinner, "you people, first you're telling me to shut up, and when I'm quiet, you say I'm sneaking around! I can't win"

"Skinner, this is not the time for your petty sob story", said Mina firmly.

"It's not MY fault I'm Inivisible", Skinenr sniffed, "....okay, maybe it is, a little..but my point is, I HAVE to be noisy, or no one notices me"

"Awwww poor Skinner", said Sawyer, sniffing, "I notice you"

With that, he moved to throw a brotherly arm around Skinner's shoulder...unfortunately, he missed, and so fell on the floor with a thud.

"You were nowhere near me", said Skinner, "try three feet to your left".

Mina gave a frustrated sigh, dragging Sawyer to her feet with one arm and shoving Skinner with the other.

"How do you DO that?", said Skinner, "seriously. You always know where to slap or hit, can you see me?"

"No, and I do not wish to see you, especially if you are naked. Just help me get him to his room", she said, "before anymore mayhem ensues".

"Lookit all the pretty stars, Aunt Polly", said Sawyer in a far off voice as one arm was flung over Mina's shoulder and the other supported by the unseen Skinner.

**

Shortly, Sawyer had been put into his room, and the other League members were gathered outside it.

"Someone needs to stay in there and watch him", said Nemo, "I won't have him running around my Lady again".

"Why don't you guard him, if you're so worried about your boa....", Skinner trailled off at the GLARE being directed at where he was now wearing his coat and glasses, "...very elegant vessel".

"We will be submerging soon", said Nemo, "I need to preform my duties as captain"

Mina finally spoke up from where she had been musing.

"You know who could REALLY keep a control on him?", she said, "who would be strong enough to keep him from running out...".

"No", replied Jekyll

*I could, you know*, said Hyde, *first, I'd break his little legs, to stop him running off, then I'd tear out his little vocal chords, to...*

"I KNOW what you want to do", snapped Jekyll, then looked at his teammates, "is it worth the risk?"

"Well, in the end, we must keep Sawyer detained", said Mina, "....or risk him doing something to the Nautil..."

"IT'S WORTH IT!!!!!", said Nemo, quickly, "very, very worth it!!!!"

And so, Sawyer found himself a babysitter.

***

Bwhahahaha!!! Hyde is coming out to play, what follows? More insanity, of course!!!. Do review. Until next time....