Disclaimer: We OWN Harry Potter! We have all five, and an extra copy of
the fifth one.
Jade: Ah, tis' the finest hour for Fay.
Masterharper: *sniffle* I fell kind of sorry for that poor girl.
Jade: You do?!?!?!
Masterharper: No, not really.
Jade: Ok, then. On with the show!
Puck's Children
*
Chapter 5
Order in the House of Chaos
Fay stirred the cauldron perched on a chamber pot, slowly watching the potion turn redder. Her brother walked briskly into the abandoned bathroom with a bag full of books over his shoulder, two books under his right arm, and one book open and sitting on his left.
Putting down all his books except for the open one he stood straight with a look of pride on his face. "I," he said with nobility, "am a genius. They said it couldn't be done, but I have done it. They said you needed dark magic, but I don't. I have solved the problem that baffled even the Weasley twins. I am a genius."
Fay stopped stirring and looked at her brother with a mixture of worry and amusement. "Ok, Merlin," she mocked. "What mystery of the universe have you figured out?"
A grin spread on Patrick's face. He lowered his voice into a conspiratorial whisper. "I know how to bewitch the brooms."
An identical grin came over Fay's. "When do we start?"
"It'll be ready by the first broom lesson Friday." He glanced at the cauldron and raised an eyebrow quizzically. "But it won't require a potion."
Fay glanced over at the now beet red potion before returning her attention back to the conversation. "Don't worry about that. It has nothing to do with our plans. It's for," she paused and grinned evilly, "an extra curricular activity."
"I see. Who's the prank on?"
Her reply was laced with sarcasm. "A very dear friend."
"Odd name. I assume her parents call her something else."
"Probably."
"It's Gilda Dagmar, isn't it?"
"Yes," said Fay.
"Look, Fay," Patrick warned, "I know she's been rough on you-"
"Rough?!" Fay exclaimed. "She's called me a mudblood, said I should have been in Hufflepuff, ruined almost all my clothes, torn most of my books, and," her voice became dangerously low, "told the entire house that I was a traitor to Slytherin."
Patrick raised a pacifying hand. "I know, I know. I'm not going to stop you from getting revenge. You know I would do the same thing. I'm just going to warn you not to let it get out of hand. Anger can cloud your judgment, and that can make you sloppy. Getting sloppy can get you caught which would lead to us getting caught, ruining everything."
Fay nodded. "I know. I'll be careful. Don't worry. I just have to show her that she can't mess with me."
"Fine. Just don't get caught. You almost got caught throwing that snowball at Snape."
Fay grinned. "Good thing Hooch got him with one before he could catch me."
*********
The cobblestone street was filled as usual although not as crowded as it sometimes was. Professor McGonagall wove her way through the shoppers and street vendors on Diagon Alley. She passed several familiar shops: Ollivanders, Flourish and Blotts, Madam Malkin's Robes. But she did not stop at any of them. She did not even look at their windows. McGonagall was on a mission. And to fulfill that mission she would have to go where she had sworn never to go.
Stopping at a shop, she looked at the sign that hung above the door. It read in bright red letters: 'Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes: Pranks, Jokes, and Party Favors -Since a while ago but founded last year'. Taking a deep breath and drawing up her courage she opened the door.
A bell rung and she cringed waiting for goo to fall on her or something to explode. It surprised her when nothing happened. The bell was apparently just a bell, the kind that most shops had to alert them to customers. She stepped nervously in and looked around.
The shop seemed normal enough except for a few small things. McGonagall could not recall a store with more "Danger, Do Not Touch" signs and that included the ones in Knockturn Alley. One wall was covered with bins full of what appeared to be candy, carefully placed out of the reach of children. More bins and shelves where scattered around the place stocked with dangerous looking objects and a few items that seemed normal but had 'Danger' signs over them. Barrels with fireworks and fake wands stood in the center of the store. A counter with various items on it was at the far end of the store. There were no customers in sight, which seemed odd until McGonagall realized that few adult wizards would want to be seen at a prank store, at least during the day. McGonagall walked toward the counter with her familiar regal pose, when suddenly there was an explosion, shaking the entire building. She dived behind a bin that held balls of fur that seemed to be rumbling. Pulling out her wand she put her head up to take stock of the situation.
Purple and blue smoke was coming through a curtained doorway behind the counter. A few of the bins were shaking and there were a few cages she had not noticed before emitting shrieking sounds. When no one came to the store to see if there was a fire, although a few people looked through the window, she assumed that it was a usual occurrence. Again she approached the counter, albeit more cautiously. She waited for a bit and then reached to press a bell that was sitting on the counter. Thinking that perhaps touching anything in this shop with her bare hand was not a good idea, she pulled her wand out and pressed the bell with it instead.
After five seconds she thought it had not worked. Then a foghorn blasted shaking the building and causing a commotion in the store again. While McGonagall was shaking her head trying to get the ringing out of her ears, an ash-covered man came out through the curtains. He was not particularly tall but the ash covered any other characteristic he might possess. He ran a hand through his hair causing some of it to be revealed. It was red, very red. It was obviously one of the Weasley twins, but which one she would not be able to tell if he had been spotless. He raised an already dirty cloth to his face and began to wipe the ash off. "Hello. Welcome to our store how may I help-" He removed the cloth and saw Professor McGonagall clearly for the first time. "Blimey! Professor McGonagall, how are ya? George, get out here." Fred stuck his hand out. McGonagall took one look at the soot and who-knows-what-else covered hand and decided not to shake it. Fred looked at his hand, took it back, and tried to clean it with the cloth.
"Good day Mr. Weasley. So good to see one of my former students being so......." She glanced at his ash-covered robes again. "...productive."
Fred grinned. "Me and George -"
"George and I," McGonagall corrected out of habit.
"George and I were in the back, experimenting on a new product. Got to keep new things coming out to perk the customers' interest you know. Well anyway, we didn't add enough bat blood to the thing, and it blew up in our faces for the third time today." McGonagall couldn't help but think about how any other student of hers would have found something blowing up once discouraging. The Weasleys seemed to think it was a good sign.
George came bounding out of the back room. He had taken the time to clean himself and looked almost clean. He shook McGonagall's hand eagerly even though she hadn't offered it. "Professor, how splendid to see you. Or should we call you Minerva now, we are after all, all adults here." He looked at her eagerly. He was answered only by silence. "Very well then," he went on, not discouraged at all, "How may we be of service Professor?" And so began a conversation that looking back on, McGonagall still could not figure out who had said what.
"Have you come to visit your favorite students?"
"Come to check up on us?"
"Perhaps to buy something?"
"Finally going to get back at Snape are you?"
"If that's the case everything is half off."
"You can never shop to early for Christmas you know."
"Gifts for your students?"
"Ton-Tongue Toffees will quiet any one of them."
"If it's to get back at Umbridge everything is free."
"Fake wands would liven up any potion class."
"How's Ginny doing by the way?"
"Fake brooms would give Madame Hooch a hoot."
"And Ronnikins too of course."
"Don't try the flaming pastries."
"Dumbledore comes here once a week you know."
"They still cause your mouth to catch on fire."
"Gryffindor going to win the Cup this year?"
"Hagrid was here yesterday."
"With Katie, Ginny, and Harry we can't lose, even with Ron."
"Don't worry, he didn't buy anything."
"So Professor-"
"-how may we help you?"
After several moments spent clearing her head McGonagall pulled out a small slip of paper. "I am not here to buy anything or to check up on you. I have come here on Hogwarts business. I am looking for some information on your products or those of your competitors."
"Of course Professor."
"Anything to help Hogwarts."
"Yes, well, your brother and sister may have told you this already. There have been a series of school wide pranks that have been done every week since the start of term."
George interrupted, "Yeah, Ginny wrote to us about those."
Fred nodded. "Brilliant stuff. Wish we had done them when we were there."
"Really," McGonagall said a little perturbed at being interrupted. "I have here a list of what the prankster needed." She cleared her throat. George took advantage of the break and pulled out a piece of parchment and quill, then looked at her expectedly. "One of the pranks involved the doors all around Hogwarts. When the doors were closed there would be the sound of someone running or walking into them. There would then be the sound of someone saying "ouch." Often doors leading to girls' rooms would sound masculine and doors leading to boys' rooms would sound feminine." She noticed that Fred was one step away from drooling, his mouth was wide open in amazement. George was scribbling away fanatically. "I need to know if you know of any store that sells voice changer kits and anything that would cause a door to behave oddly."
Fred stopped his staring long enough to respond. "Voice changer kits are very common, Professor. Everyone sells them. As for the doors." He scratched his chin. "There are plenty of kits that involve doors. Things falling when you open a door, an alarm when a door is open and things like that. But I don't know of anything that would cause them to speak and I haven't heard of anything that can affect already magical doors."
McGonagall's confidence fell. If she were not able to find the prankster this way it would be almost impossible to catch him unless she caught him in the act.
"Professor. Weren't you able to just get rid of the charm?"
McGonagall pursed her lips. "No," she said with more than a hint of anger. Fred's eyes went wide and George grinned ear to ear.
"The second prank was a blizzard."
"Professor, it's rare, but it does snow in September."
"Not inside." Fred glanced at George to make sure he was writing this. "Professor Snape believes that it is a variation of a freezing potion that was spread around the school during the night."
Fred shook his head in amazement. "Professor, no one has anything like that. We have instant swamps and instant forests but not snowstorms. No one else sells anything close to that. I can't think off the top of my head how the storm was done or the door thing for that matter."
McGonagall felt defeated. Not only did the Weasleys not know where the items were bought, they did not even know how. She let out a sigh.
"Thank you for your time. I shall not take anymore of it." She turned to leave.
"Professor, wait!" George exclaimed. He reached under the counter and produced a brand new business card. "If you ever catch the person responsible-"
"The villain!" Fred said with an almost serious face.
"Please give him our card. Tell him-"
"Or her. We are not judgmental about these things."
"-that we are hiring and always looking for good talent."
Professor tried to smile but settled on just taking the card. "Of course. Good day to you both." With that she left. She threw the card into the nearest trashcan. It would be a terrifying force indeed if the prankster and the Weasleys ever teamed up.
On the way down the street, she heard another explosion.
*********
The next morning was fairly typical in the Slytherin Common room. The students arranged themselves in the regular fashion. The older and higher born of them took the seats by the fire while the young and the outcasts were in the dark corners far away. Fay was with the other first years, although at the other end of the table by herself, far away from the flames. It was very typical.
Until the scream. A high pitched scream that caused all the students to cover their ears. Some of the students of Irish descent immediately hid under the tables fearing a banshee was near. Instead, a little girl came running down into the Common room and headed strait for the first year table. She still wore her pajamas and her normally perfect blond hair was only half brushed. When she stopped she immediately became the center of attention. The half of her hair that was brushed was not blond. It was alternating stripes of gold and scarlet.
"Gilda, what happened?" one of the first year girls asked.
Gilda alternated between sobbing and answering. "I...I...was brushing my hair... and I saw... when...when...I...I...looked in the mirror...this!" She pointed toward her hair and began to sob without end. A few girls tried to comfort her; but not letting her cry on their shoulder, that would mess-up their clothes. After a little bit Gilda had it down to a sniffle. Fay stood up.
She spoke with an over dramatic, loud voice. "Why Gilda? Why ever did you do that to your hair?" A small smile appeared on Fay's face. Everyone's attention returned to Gilda. Gilda looked at her in confusion for a moment, then realization dawned.
"YOU!" she exclaimed, "You did this! You little mudblood! Why?"
Fay pointed toward her hair. "Gryffindor colors. Such house loyalty. Whose the traitor now Gilda?"
Gilda's eyes narrowed in hatred. "I'll get you for this. I promise."
"No you won't." Fay smiled sweetly and explained it as she would a toddler. "If you do, the colors will be permanent next time."
Gilda's eyes went wide. She stood up and ran back to the dorms sobbing.
Fay sat down and continued to work on her potion's assignment as if nothing had happened. More than one first year girl slid toward her asking for help on it. All of those who had watched this little scene smiled and went on with their business. Those with enough brains actually took it in.
'There', they thought, 'is a true Slytherin.'
Jade: Ah, tis' the finest hour for Fay.
Masterharper: *sniffle* I fell kind of sorry for that poor girl.
Jade: You do?!?!?!
Masterharper: No, not really.
Jade: Ok, then. On with the show!
Puck's Children
*
Chapter 5
Order in the House of Chaos
Fay stirred the cauldron perched on a chamber pot, slowly watching the potion turn redder. Her brother walked briskly into the abandoned bathroom with a bag full of books over his shoulder, two books under his right arm, and one book open and sitting on his left.
Putting down all his books except for the open one he stood straight with a look of pride on his face. "I," he said with nobility, "am a genius. They said it couldn't be done, but I have done it. They said you needed dark magic, but I don't. I have solved the problem that baffled even the Weasley twins. I am a genius."
Fay stopped stirring and looked at her brother with a mixture of worry and amusement. "Ok, Merlin," she mocked. "What mystery of the universe have you figured out?"
A grin spread on Patrick's face. He lowered his voice into a conspiratorial whisper. "I know how to bewitch the brooms."
An identical grin came over Fay's. "When do we start?"
"It'll be ready by the first broom lesson Friday." He glanced at the cauldron and raised an eyebrow quizzically. "But it won't require a potion."
Fay glanced over at the now beet red potion before returning her attention back to the conversation. "Don't worry about that. It has nothing to do with our plans. It's for," she paused and grinned evilly, "an extra curricular activity."
"I see. Who's the prank on?"
Her reply was laced with sarcasm. "A very dear friend."
"Odd name. I assume her parents call her something else."
"Probably."
"It's Gilda Dagmar, isn't it?"
"Yes," said Fay.
"Look, Fay," Patrick warned, "I know she's been rough on you-"
"Rough?!" Fay exclaimed. "She's called me a mudblood, said I should have been in Hufflepuff, ruined almost all my clothes, torn most of my books, and," her voice became dangerously low, "told the entire house that I was a traitor to Slytherin."
Patrick raised a pacifying hand. "I know, I know. I'm not going to stop you from getting revenge. You know I would do the same thing. I'm just going to warn you not to let it get out of hand. Anger can cloud your judgment, and that can make you sloppy. Getting sloppy can get you caught which would lead to us getting caught, ruining everything."
Fay nodded. "I know. I'll be careful. Don't worry. I just have to show her that she can't mess with me."
"Fine. Just don't get caught. You almost got caught throwing that snowball at Snape."
Fay grinned. "Good thing Hooch got him with one before he could catch me."
*********
The cobblestone street was filled as usual although not as crowded as it sometimes was. Professor McGonagall wove her way through the shoppers and street vendors on Diagon Alley. She passed several familiar shops: Ollivanders, Flourish and Blotts, Madam Malkin's Robes. But she did not stop at any of them. She did not even look at their windows. McGonagall was on a mission. And to fulfill that mission she would have to go where she had sworn never to go.
Stopping at a shop, she looked at the sign that hung above the door. It read in bright red letters: 'Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes: Pranks, Jokes, and Party Favors -Since a while ago but founded last year'. Taking a deep breath and drawing up her courage she opened the door.
A bell rung and she cringed waiting for goo to fall on her or something to explode. It surprised her when nothing happened. The bell was apparently just a bell, the kind that most shops had to alert them to customers. She stepped nervously in and looked around.
The shop seemed normal enough except for a few small things. McGonagall could not recall a store with more "Danger, Do Not Touch" signs and that included the ones in Knockturn Alley. One wall was covered with bins full of what appeared to be candy, carefully placed out of the reach of children. More bins and shelves where scattered around the place stocked with dangerous looking objects and a few items that seemed normal but had 'Danger' signs over them. Barrels with fireworks and fake wands stood in the center of the store. A counter with various items on it was at the far end of the store. There were no customers in sight, which seemed odd until McGonagall realized that few adult wizards would want to be seen at a prank store, at least during the day. McGonagall walked toward the counter with her familiar regal pose, when suddenly there was an explosion, shaking the entire building. She dived behind a bin that held balls of fur that seemed to be rumbling. Pulling out her wand she put her head up to take stock of the situation.
Purple and blue smoke was coming through a curtained doorway behind the counter. A few of the bins were shaking and there were a few cages she had not noticed before emitting shrieking sounds. When no one came to the store to see if there was a fire, although a few people looked through the window, she assumed that it was a usual occurrence. Again she approached the counter, albeit more cautiously. She waited for a bit and then reached to press a bell that was sitting on the counter. Thinking that perhaps touching anything in this shop with her bare hand was not a good idea, she pulled her wand out and pressed the bell with it instead.
After five seconds she thought it had not worked. Then a foghorn blasted shaking the building and causing a commotion in the store again. While McGonagall was shaking her head trying to get the ringing out of her ears, an ash-covered man came out through the curtains. He was not particularly tall but the ash covered any other characteristic he might possess. He ran a hand through his hair causing some of it to be revealed. It was red, very red. It was obviously one of the Weasley twins, but which one she would not be able to tell if he had been spotless. He raised an already dirty cloth to his face and began to wipe the ash off. "Hello. Welcome to our store how may I help-" He removed the cloth and saw Professor McGonagall clearly for the first time. "Blimey! Professor McGonagall, how are ya? George, get out here." Fred stuck his hand out. McGonagall took one look at the soot and who-knows-what-else covered hand and decided not to shake it. Fred looked at his hand, took it back, and tried to clean it with the cloth.
"Good day Mr. Weasley. So good to see one of my former students being so......." She glanced at his ash-covered robes again. "...productive."
Fred grinned. "Me and George -"
"George and I," McGonagall corrected out of habit.
"George and I were in the back, experimenting on a new product. Got to keep new things coming out to perk the customers' interest you know. Well anyway, we didn't add enough bat blood to the thing, and it blew up in our faces for the third time today." McGonagall couldn't help but think about how any other student of hers would have found something blowing up once discouraging. The Weasleys seemed to think it was a good sign.
George came bounding out of the back room. He had taken the time to clean himself and looked almost clean. He shook McGonagall's hand eagerly even though she hadn't offered it. "Professor, how splendid to see you. Or should we call you Minerva now, we are after all, all adults here." He looked at her eagerly. He was answered only by silence. "Very well then," he went on, not discouraged at all, "How may we be of service Professor?" And so began a conversation that looking back on, McGonagall still could not figure out who had said what.
"Have you come to visit your favorite students?"
"Come to check up on us?"
"Perhaps to buy something?"
"Finally going to get back at Snape are you?"
"If that's the case everything is half off."
"You can never shop to early for Christmas you know."
"Gifts for your students?"
"Ton-Tongue Toffees will quiet any one of them."
"If it's to get back at Umbridge everything is free."
"Fake wands would liven up any potion class."
"How's Ginny doing by the way?"
"Fake brooms would give Madame Hooch a hoot."
"And Ronnikins too of course."
"Don't try the flaming pastries."
"Dumbledore comes here once a week you know."
"They still cause your mouth to catch on fire."
"Gryffindor going to win the Cup this year?"
"Hagrid was here yesterday."
"With Katie, Ginny, and Harry we can't lose, even with Ron."
"Don't worry, he didn't buy anything."
"So Professor-"
"-how may we help you?"
After several moments spent clearing her head McGonagall pulled out a small slip of paper. "I am not here to buy anything or to check up on you. I have come here on Hogwarts business. I am looking for some information on your products or those of your competitors."
"Of course Professor."
"Anything to help Hogwarts."
"Yes, well, your brother and sister may have told you this already. There have been a series of school wide pranks that have been done every week since the start of term."
George interrupted, "Yeah, Ginny wrote to us about those."
Fred nodded. "Brilliant stuff. Wish we had done them when we were there."
"Really," McGonagall said a little perturbed at being interrupted. "I have here a list of what the prankster needed." She cleared her throat. George took advantage of the break and pulled out a piece of parchment and quill, then looked at her expectedly. "One of the pranks involved the doors all around Hogwarts. When the doors were closed there would be the sound of someone running or walking into them. There would then be the sound of someone saying "ouch." Often doors leading to girls' rooms would sound masculine and doors leading to boys' rooms would sound feminine." She noticed that Fred was one step away from drooling, his mouth was wide open in amazement. George was scribbling away fanatically. "I need to know if you know of any store that sells voice changer kits and anything that would cause a door to behave oddly."
Fred stopped his staring long enough to respond. "Voice changer kits are very common, Professor. Everyone sells them. As for the doors." He scratched his chin. "There are plenty of kits that involve doors. Things falling when you open a door, an alarm when a door is open and things like that. But I don't know of anything that would cause them to speak and I haven't heard of anything that can affect already magical doors."
McGonagall's confidence fell. If she were not able to find the prankster this way it would be almost impossible to catch him unless she caught him in the act.
"Professor. Weren't you able to just get rid of the charm?"
McGonagall pursed her lips. "No," she said with more than a hint of anger. Fred's eyes went wide and George grinned ear to ear.
"The second prank was a blizzard."
"Professor, it's rare, but it does snow in September."
"Not inside." Fred glanced at George to make sure he was writing this. "Professor Snape believes that it is a variation of a freezing potion that was spread around the school during the night."
Fred shook his head in amazement. "Professor, no one has anything like that. We have instant swamps and instant forests but not snowstorms. No one else sells anything close to that. I can't think off the top of my head how the storm was done or the door thing for that matter."
McGonagall felt defeated. Not only did the Weasleys not know where the items were bought, they did not even know how. She let out a sigh.
"Thank you for your time. I shall not take anymore of it." She turned to leave.
"Professor, wait!" George exclaimed. He reached under the counter and produced a brand new business card. "If you ever catch the person responsible-"
"The villain!" Fred said with an almost serious face.
"Please give him our card. Tell him-"
"Or her. We are not judgmental about these things."
"-that we are hiring and always looking for good talent."
Professor tried to smile but settled on just taking the card. "Of course. Good day to you both." With that she left. She threw the card into the nearest trashcan. It would be a terrifying force indeed if the prankster and the Weasleys ever teamed up.
On the way down the street, she heard another explosion.
*********
The next morning was fairly typical in the Slytherin Common room. The students arranged themselves in the regular fashion. The older and higher born of them took the seats by the fire while the young and the outcasts were in the dark corners far away. Fay was with the other first years, although at the other end of the table by herself, far away from the flames. It was very typical.
Until the scream. A high pitched scream that caused all the students to cover their ears. Some of the students of Irish descent immediately hid under the tables fearing a banshee was near. Instead, a little girl came running down into the Common room and headed strait for the first year table. She still wore her pajamas and her normally perfect blond hair was only half brushed. When she stopped she immediately became the center of attention. The half of her hair that was brushed was not blond. It was alternating stripes of gold and scarlet.
"Gilda, what happened?" one of the first year girls asked.
Gilda alternated between sobbing and answering. "I...I...was brushing my hair... and I saw... when...when...I...I...looked in the mirror...this!" She pointed toward her hair and began to sob without end. A few girls tried to comfort her; but not letting her cry on their shoulder, that would mess-up their clothes. After a little bit Gilda had it down to a sniffle. Fay stood up.
She spoke with an over dramatic, loud voice. "Why Gilda? Why ever did you do that to your hair?" A small smile appeared on Fay's face. Everyone's attention returned to Gilda. Gilda looked at her in confusion for a moment, then realization dawned.
"YOU!" she exclaimed, "You did this! You little mudblood! Why?"
Fay pointed toward her hair. "Gryffindor colors. Such house loyalty. Whose the traitor now Gilda?"
Gilda's eyes narrowed in hatred. "I'll get you for this. I promise."
"No you won't." Fay smiled sweetly and explained it as she would a toddler. "If you do, the colors will be permanent next time."
Gilda's eyes went wide. She stood up and ran back to the dorms sobbing.
Fay sat down and continued to work on her potion's assignment as if nothing had happened. More than one first year girl slid toward her asking for help on it. All of those who had watched this little scene smiled and went on with their business. Those with enough brains actually took it in.
'There', they thought, 'is a true Slytherin.'
