~*~*~
"We've been here a lot lately," I remarked lightly as Jack, Elizabeth and I peered out into the gloom that was Isla de Muerta.
"Not my idea of a sunny vacation spot," Jack commented, grinning slightly. Elizabeth said nothing. It was apparent our attempts at lightening the mood were not working.
"Miss Doom and Gloom over there," I muttered, and Elizabeth gave shot me a glare. "What?" I asked innocently, raising my hands in defense.
"Will is probably being murdered or tortured as we speak, and here the two of you are joking around like you're back on that beach drinking rum!" Elizabeth snapped, staring darkly out at the depthless water.
"Well, Lizzie, if we'd known ye would miss that island so much, Rachel here would never have helped you burn the place," Jack said in mock-seriousness.
I nodded. "Damn right I wouldn't have." At the moment, I would have much preferred to be stranded on that beach with a cellar full of rum. "I don't know why I left in the first place."
"To save Will," Elizabeth supplied icily, and stormed off down the deck.
"Well, that's one way to rid yourself of a nuisance," Jack commented, watching Elizabeth stalk away in amusement.
"Aye. Now, I assume you have a plan," I said, my mood becoming serious again.
Jack smirked at me. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow! I don't need a plan!" He exclaimed, his arms spread wide for effect.
"Which means that you do have one," I voiced my translation of his egotistical outburst.
Jack covered his heart with his hands as if I'd stabbed him. "Ye wound me," he wailed, and careened around as if I'd run him through with my cutlass.
"No," I said. "But I'm very close to it. So you'd better tell me your plan now," I demanded.
Jack perched himself on the railing so that he was facing me, and drew a deep breath as if he was about to announce something important. "The plan is-" He cleared his throat loudly. "The plan is that I go and get the Black Pearl back by me onesies."
He wasn't leaving me behind this time. Of this I was sure. "Like hell you are," I snarled. "You are not leaving me on this ship alone at the mercy of Norrington's men. I'm going with you. Need I remind you what happened last time you left me? You ended up very close to dying due to the fact that Will deserted you."
Jack raised his eyebrows in obvious amusement. "Temper, temper, love," he said lazily. "I never knew you cared so much."
Ok, so he had me cornered there. I bit my lip hard and tasted the coppery flavor of blood. "I do not care about you, Sparrow," I said coldly, although it sounded lame, even to my ears. "I care about myself. And I'm going with you, no matter what you say. Tell me the plan or don't. It doesn't matter to me. And once we get the Pearl back, drop me off at the nearest Port. I have plans to find my own ship again." With one last frigid look, I whirled around and stomped over to where Norrington and his men were lowering the boats.
~*~*~
"I don't care for the situation. Any attempt to storm the caves could turn to an ambush."
"Aw, come on Norry, live a little," I laughed, and gave him a charming smile. Both he and Jack gave me an annoyed look.
"Not if you're the one doing the ambushing. I go in, I convince Barbossa to send his men out with their little boats. You and your mates return to the Dauntless and blast the bejesus outta them with your little cannons, eh?" Jack explained putting an arm around Norrington's shoulder, that half-grin on his face. "What do you have to lose?"
"Nothing that I'd lament being rid off," Norrington replied acidly, and shrugged Jack's arm off.
"Oh ho. I see how it is," I complained. "You tell him the plan, but not me!" I protested irritably. Jack shot me a look so venomous, that I shut up immediately. 'Ok, so maybe he has a different plan,' I thought. Fortunately, Norrington didn't notice Jack's silencing glare.
"Now, to be quite honest with you, there's still a slight risk for those aboard the Dauntless which includes the future Mrs. Commodore," Jack continued.
Norrington considered this for a moment, and sent one of the boats back to the Dauntless with orders to lock Elizabeth in her room. 'Poor chit,' I thought sympathetically.
Norrington then sent Jack and I off to the forbidding-looking cave in another one of his boats. Jack rowed, and I looked greedily down at the coins on the rocks and in the water.
"It's funny. Will was doing the exact same thing last time we were here," Jack remarked.
"Will can kiss my arse," I quipped, and leaned back slightly so that I was in a more comfortable position. We were nearing the mouth of the cave, and a sick feeling of dread descended in the pit of my stomach. Jack looked completely nonchalant about the whole ordeal, and I hoped that I appeared the same.
We cautiously picked our way through one of the passages in the cave. The darkness engulfing it was impenetrable, and made it impossible to see anything. I relied on my ears to keep track of where Jack was. He seemed to know his way around quite well. As we neared the end, I saw the welcoming glow of torch light. Jack picked up his pace, and we emerged into a moonlit cavern filled to the brim with all types of gold and other swag. My first impulse was to pause and inspect it, but Jack didn't give it a glance, and instead began to push his way through the smelly mass of cursed pirates. Sighing, I followed in his wake, and smirked at the confused looks I received from most of the pirates as I passed.
"Begun by blood-" Barbossa began, leaning in to slit Will's throat.
"Excuse me," Jack murmured to one of them, and pushed his way through the front-line with me closely behind.
"Jack!" Will exclaimed, a flicker of relief passing over his face. I smiled cheerily up at him, and winked.
Barbossa paused in his speech, and eyed the two of us with a mixture of sheer astonishment and annoyance. "S'not possible!" he gasped, his mouth gaping slightly.
"Not probable," Jack corrected.
"Hello there, Barbossa. Long time no see. Did ya miss me?" I asked cheekily. Barbossa sneered in response.
"Where's Elizabeth?" Will demanded immediately.
"It's great to see you too, Will. We should get together more often, maybe even have tea some time," I teased.
Jack and Barbossa rolled their eyes. "She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman," Jack supplied, albeit not very helpfully.
"Shut up! You're next," Barbossa spat, and again leaned in to cut Will's throat.
"You don't want to be doing that, mate," Jack warned.
"No, I really think I do," Barbossa shot back, looking extremely irked by the whole scenario.
"That's alright with me. Never liked him much anyway," I put-in. Will glowered at me, which I returned with a leer.
"Your funeral." Jack shrugged.
Barbossa grunted in aggravation, but lowered the dagger. "Why don't I want to be doing it?" he inquired.
"Isn't it obvious?" I asked sarcastically. "We wouldn't have come in here without reinforcements, mate."
"What she means to say," Jack added, "is that the HMS Dauntless, pride of the Royal Navy, is floating just offshore. Waiting for you." He pushed the pirate's arm off of his shoulder, and made his way up to where Barbossa and Will were standing.
"Just hear me out, mate. You order your men to row out to the Dauntless. They do what they do best. Robert's your Uncle, Fannie's your Aunt, there you are with two ships. The makings of your very own fleet. 'Course you'll take the grandest as your flagship, and who's to argue? But what of the Pearl? Name me Captain, I'll sail under your colors, I'll give you ten percent of me plunder and you get to introduce yourself asÉ.Commodore Barbossa. Savvy?"
'So that's his plan,' I realized finally. 'Though, it doesn't seem very like him, but he is a pirate.' I then realized that he hadn't mentioned me at all, and I expressed my displeasure at being excluded by crossing my arms defiantly and clearing my throat as loudly as possible.
"And Rachel stays with me. I don't think you want to deal with her," Jack finished.
"I heard that," I growled.
"Fine with me," Barbossa grunted. "And in exchange I suppose you don't want me to kill the whelp."
"Oh, no. That's ok. We don't need him anyway," I told him, and smirked at a very forlorn and betrayed looking Will.
"Of course kill the whelp. Just not yet. Wait to lift the curse until the opportune moment. For instance..." Jack dug his hands into the cursed chest and pulled out a few of the glittering medallions. "...after you've killed Norrington's men... Every-" CLINK- "Last-" CLINK- "One." The last coin dropped harmlessly into the chest, or so it appeared. It seems that both Will and I saw Jack pocket the fourth one. It was then I understood Jack's plan, and my hand wandered towards the hilt of my sword.
"You've been planning this from the beginning. Ever since you learned my name," Will accused, hurt lacing his words. 'Wow. He should be an actor,' I thought sarcastically.
"Yeah," Jack responded nonchalantly.
"The moral of this dear Will, is never to trust a pirate," I said caustically.
"I want fifty percent of your plunder," Barbossa announced sharply.
"Fifteen," Jack negotiated.
"Forty."
"Twenty five."
"And he'll buy you the hat!" I interjected.
"Aye, a really big one...Commodore." Jack finished, looking expectantly at Barbossa.
"We have an accord," Barbossa agreed, and the two of them shook hands.
"All hands to the boats!" Jack ordered, throwing his arms up for effect. At Barbossa's incredulous look, Jack bowed in amends. "Apologies. You give the orders."
"Gents, take a walk!" Barbossa bellowed, and the pirates began to shuffle away.
"Not to the boats?" Jack asked timidly.
"No, of course not. That would be too easy," I mumbled under my breath.
~*~*~
"I must admit, Jack , I thought I had ye figured. But it turns out that you're a hard man to predict," Barbossa said conversationally.
Jack and I were inspecting the treasures of the cave, and I must admit there were some very interesting ones. I saw a crown and some emerald jewelry I was particularly fond of. At Barbossa's comment; however, Jack made his way back to where the other pirates were standing with Will.
'This must be the opportune moment,' I thought, and drifted inconspicuously over as well.
"For instance, I thought you would come back all heroic and brave-like to rescue the lad here for his bonny lass. But then again, I never would've thought you'd strike up a friendship with this strumpet either."
I gritted my teeth to keep from attacking the elder pirate, but Jack took it all in stride and replied easily, "Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incrediblyÉ. stupid." Quickly, he unsheathed the sword of the pirate he was standing behind, and tossed it to Will, and unsheathed his own sword and lunged at Barbossa.
I drew my own sword, and together Will and I charged at what was left of Barbossa's crew. There were three of them, and I knew that they would be no match for us, except for the fact that they could not die.
"I'll take two of them, and you can have the smaller one." I taunted Will as I fought off the pirate with long beard carrying the bombs.
"We'll each take one, and then share the last one," Will corrected me, and threw himself into the fight.
Focusing on my pirate, I blocked a clumsy attack, and launched a furious counterattack. My main purpose was to keep the scallywag's attention off of Jack and Barbossa. I was so engaged in the fight that I didn't notice Will's predicament until too late.
"I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain," he threatened, clearly having Will cornered. I sent my opponents blade skittering across the floor in time to see Elizabeth carrying a large staff.
"Do you like pain?" she snarled, and whipped the pirate in the head, knocking him unconscious. "Try wearing a corset."
Grinning, I returned my attention to my opponent and attacked with renewed gusto.
"Who's side is Jack on anyway?" I heard Elizabeth ask, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Jack as a skeleton, and it made my mind freeze. I didn't hear Will's reply because my break in concentration caused the blade to be knocked from my hand, and another to be pressed to my throat. My attacker leered unpleasantly, and I would've spit in his face of it wasn't for the cutlass pricking my throat.
"Well, aren't you a feisty- AH!" Elizabeth and Will ran the staff through him, and his blade clattered to the floor. Sighing in relief, I picked up my own sword, and nodded in thanks. The three pirates were now pinned together, and Elizabeth and Will shoved a grenade into one, and pushed them out of the moonlight.
"No fair," the pirate who'd almost killed me whimpered, and they exploded into a pile of bones.
Will raced up to where the chest was, and Elizabeth and I watched in amazement the epic battle going on between Jack and Barbossa. It was very creepy to see two skeletons fighting and jeering at each other. Jack slashed his palm with his blade, let the blood drip onto the medallion, and tossed the bloody coin up to Will. At the same time Barbossa aimed his pistol at me, who happened to be standing in front of Elizabeth. I didn't dare to breathe, and it seemed like a stalemate until Jack pulled the trigger of his own pistol, a bullet embedding itself in Barbossa's chest.
Barbossa looked mildly amused at the situation. "Ten years you carry that pistol, and now you waste your shot," he chuckled. "But I'm still going to kill yer bonny lass."
"He didn't waste it," Will said, and dropped both his and Jack's medallions in the chest, revealing his palm to be cut as well.
Barbossa's sword clattered to the ground, and he opened his shirt. Sure enough, where the bullet had struck him, blood poured from the wound. "I feel...cold," he gasped, and fell to the ground dead, an apple rolling out of his hand. The curse was lifted, and we all exchanged a relieved look.
"Well, now that that's over, I think I'll be inspecting this swag," I announced abruptly, swaggering over to the pile containing the crown and jewelry I fancied.
"You already did that," Will reminded, a slight smile gracing his lips.
Jack joined me, and the two of us rifled through the loot, stuffing our pockets with whatever caught our interest. After a time, Elizabeth was ready to go. "We should return to the Dauntless," she said quietly.
Looking over at them, I saw Will's face darken. "Your fiance will be wanting to know you're safe," he told Elizabeth harshly. She turned away in obvious hurt, and walked quickly towards the cave's mouth.
Jack and I made to follow her. "Smooth lad, real smooth," I said in ridicule. "You sure know the way to a woman's heart." I pushed passed him.
"If you were waiting for the opportune moment....that was it. Now, if you'll be so kind, I'd be much obliged if you'd drop me off at my ship," Jack said.
"He meant to say the two of us," I called over my shoulder. "But he always forgets."
"That's what she thinks," Jack whispered.
"I heard that!" I yelled.
The four of us climbed into one of the boats. I scanned the horizon for the Black Pearl, but she was nowhere in sight. Jack apparently saw the same thing, and his light mood disappeared and was replaced with disappointment.
"I'm sorry Jack," Elizabeth said gently.
"They done what's right by them. Can't expect more than that," he admitted softly, trying to keep the discouragement out of his voice, but I could sense it.
I rested my hand on his arm. "We'll figure a way out of this one. We've been through worse already."
I met Jack's amazed brown eyes. He seemed shocked and pleased by the tender gesture. Regaining his voice, he nodded. "Aye, love. We've been through much worse."
TBC
~*~*~
A/N: Whew! That was a long one! And it took me three hours straight to write out! I think my butt has gone numb.
Rachel: We did not need to know that.
Jack: Aye. TOO much information.
Me: *laughs* Ok, sorry. Anyway, only two to three more chapters left, but it'll most likely be two. I still haven't heard the consensus on a sequel. Please tell me if you want one or not in a review. And now on to the review responses!
turtlecrazy53- YAY! A new reviewer! Thanks for the lovely review! It made me happy!
DeppStruck- *laughs* WOOT isn't an acronym. It's exactly what it sounds like. That's my way of cheering. It's the equivalent to yay! Anyway, thanks for the review. And I absolutely love your parody!
Anime-and-Toons- Thanks for the review!
Jessi Lupin- NOOO! You can't put off Marauderland! It's too good! I hope you improve your grades though. Bad grades are bad. (That was kind of redundant wasn't it?) ^_^
chibichibi386- Thanks for reviewing! You make me feel so loved!
And that's all folks! PLEASE REVIEW! I want to break 100 before the story is complete. All I need is 7, but I'll take more. ^_^ Ta luvs!
Until next time,
~TheSiriusSparrow~
