And here it is: the final, complete, and beta'd version of Ghosts. Some changes have been made to the previous six chapters that I had already posted. Nothing major, so reading them again is not necessary, but I do recommend it so that you don't miss out on some of the changes and foreshadowing that I've added. As I've mentioned in the author notes in chapter one, this is the companion piece to another ghost story: Albus/Severus and rated nc-17. It shares the same premise and title (kinda), and you can find it on my homepage (just check the link in my profile).
I hope you all enjoy this story. It's been quite an ordeal to write it, I can tell you that. Thank you for all your reviews, and please let me know what you think of the end result. If you would like a reply, make sure I can find your email either in your profile or put it in the review. Now, on with the fic!
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7. Safe Haven I
"You were at Nearly-Headless Nick's Death Day party, weren't you?" said Harry, finally breaking the silence. He was looking at Severus warily.
Severus nodded, still shocked silent by the boy's unexpected presence. Why was Harry here? Wouldn't Black have – Black. He rushed at the boy, hands trying to clasp the boy's arms and instead passing through them.
"Don't trust Black. He's a murderer, stay away from him. Don't believe his lies. Please, you have to believe me, Harry. Black's a murderer, he did this to me and the headmaster let him. Dumbledore let them go unpunished and he's kept me trapped here ever since. I have been trapped here for more than twenty years!" Severus realised he was getting sidetracked, and he forced himself to calm down. This wasn't about him; he had to warn the boy.
Harry was backing away, and Severus followed him, trying to control himself and speak calmly as he kept his stigmata at bay.
"Black is dangerous, Harry. He has killed before – he killed me – and you saw that he was willing to murder again, that he has. Please believe me, ignore his lies. I don't know what he told you, but it's a lie. He lies and the headmaster lets him, lets him get away with murder."
Severus noticed that the boy had taken his wand out. He was backed against one of the walls, and while he wasn't pointing his wand at Severus yet... Severus backed away hastily. He didn't want to scare Harry, but he needed to tell him, needed to warn him.
"Harry –"
"What happened to you?" Harry whispered. His face was pale and it looked as if he were going to be sick. His fingers were white from gripping his wand forcefully; however, it still pointed downward at the floor. He was listening. Oh to finally have another person listen to him.
"Black knew Lupin –"
"Oh my god," Harry turned away and pressed the back of his wand hand to his mouth, his eyes tightly shut and a distinct greenish tint to his cheeks.
Severus hesitated. He hadn't expected this reaction. He had thought the boy wouldn't believe him, would defend his godfather. He had spent the summer with charming, enigmatic Sirius Black –
"He hurt you. Black hurt you."
"No."
All of a sudden, Harry stood straight again, his wand pointing directly at Severus and there was a wild look in his eyes. His breathing was laboured, and he shook his head in denial. "Sirius didn't – Sirius would never hurt me; he didn't. He loves me. Sirius –" He took a deep breath and calmed himself, so that when he spoke again it was slow and determined.
"How did you die? Was it Remus? Was it Professor Lupin? Why are you here?"
Severus looked at the wand still pointing at him, and noted the boy's feverish look. He clenched his fists and summoned all his self-control. Be calm, just the facts; he's listening.
"I was in the same year as Black and Lupin, your father and Pettigrew too. The Gryffindors hated me because I was a Slytherin. They tormented and hexing me; they spread lies and made my life hell. I hexed them back, defended myself: but nothing more than green hair! I never did more than curse them boils and pimples, or hex your father's broom. Nothing like what Black did; he murdered me!"
Calm down.
"He – Black – Lupin is a werewolf. You have to stay away from him, both of them, he's a –"
"I know. What happened?"
Severus paused, surprised that the boy knew about Lupin's lycanthropy. But then again, he had seemed to understand before.
"I didn't know Lupin was a werewolf. I knew they were keeping a secret, and I wanted to find out, wanted to expose it. They were always up to no good, always out to get me, I –" Calm down. "Black told me to come here on the night of the full moon. He knew I would follow his 'instructions'. I thought it might be a prank, but I was – I thought I could handle anything, I didn't think he actually wanted me dead.
"It turned out this was where Lupin stayed for his transformations. He – I think he was surprised when he saw me, I don't think he knew, but he didn't do anything. He kept Dumbledore's secret, let Black go free. He –
"He killed me. The werewolf attacked me and bit me and tore my throat out and now I'm dead. But I came back, a ghost, and Dumbledore was waiting for me." Severus' voice became bitter.
"He said he was sorry, said Black didn't mean it – but I know he did. Black wanted me dead and Dumbledore didn't punish him, just swept it all under the rug and covered it up. I cannot leave the Shack. I have been trapped here for nearly two decades, and my murderers have not seen justice. I suffer for their crime and they go free. You must believe me, Harry. Black is dangerous. He's a murderer and he'll hurt you –"
"You're the reason why Remus believed Sirius betrayed my parents."
Severus fell silent. There was nothing left to say, and it seemed that Harry might believe him.
Harry suddenly turned away, scrubbing at his face with both hands. He made a choking sound that could have been a laugh or a sob.
"What a mess."
"Harry..." Severus hesitated. He didn't know what to make of Harry's reaction. "You have to watch out, Black is –"
Harry raised a hand and shook his head, silencing Severus again.
"Don't... I know, just – Don't. Please. I needed to get away. Just wanted some peace and quiet and – I don't want to talk about Sirius, just... I'll go." He put his wand away and headed back to the open trapdoor.
Severus knew that if Harry left now he would never see the boy again. He didn't understand why, but he couldn't bear that thought. He tried to grasp Harry's shoulder, his hand passing through the other boy.
"No, stay. Please. I won't – We can talk about other things, or – Stay."
Harry hesitated for a long time, before finally giving a curt nod. He glanced around the room, and then sat down at the bottom of the stairs. Severus hovered close by, at a loss what to say or what to do. Harry seemed just as lost, and Severus wondered for the second time why the boy had come here. Wasn't he missing the Sorting? He would surely be missed, wouldn't he?
"Why did you come here?"
Harry sighed and leaned back against the stairs; he looked away and then back at Severus.
"I needed to get away. To be alone. And this was the only place I could think of that they wouldn't search for me, or be able to find me. And it's safe; I know the wards extend to here, but there's no chance of being disturbed. I have to be careful, I know that, but I'm just... Everybody keeps asking me how I feel, if I'm all right, and... I just needed to be alone."
Oh.
But he was still here, still in the Shack with Severus, and it didn't look like he was going to leave.
"Okay." A wry grin twisted Severus' lips. "My home is yours," he joked, extending the only hospitality he could.
Harry glanced around, looking at the empty and dirty room, the stained floors and walls, and chuckled.
"Thank you," he said in reply, and it didn't sound mocking at all.
Severus looked at Harry, drank in the sight of him. He was what... fourteen or fifteen now? Only a year younger than Severus had been when Black murdered him. If he concentrated he could indeed see the resemblance to James Potter, but it was less pronounced than two years ago. His mother was Lily Evans, wasn't she? Severus tried to remember, but could only vaguely recall some redheaded girl in... Ravenclaw? Or had she been a Hufflepuff?
After a while, Harry looked up from his brooding examination of the dirty floorboards and smiled briefly, then blatantly returned Severus' gaze, looking at the ghost. Again Severus felt that same thrill that he had two years ago during Nicholas' Death Day party: somebody – a live person, not another ghost, not indifferent Dumbledore – actually saw him.
"You're a Slytherin, aren't you?"
Severus nodded. He remembered the bitter House rivalries, but Nicholas had shown him that it didn't have to be that way, and Harry hadn't seemed to care about that before.
"All the live Slytherins I know are absolute pricks." Harry snorted and shook his head. "You and the Bloody Baron don't seem too bad, though."
Severus chanced a grin in return. "I can't say my experiences with any living Gryffindors have been any better. You and Nicholas seem to be the exception to the rule."
This time Harry laughed, and he pushed himself up off the stairs.
"Thank you, Severus, wasn't it? I think I had better leave now, before anybody starts panicking about the Boy Who Lived disappearing," he added bitterly.
Harry sighed and knelt by the trapdoor. "Thank you. I'll – It must be awful being trapped here all alone, for so long. If you don't mind, I would like to visit again, some time."
"Of course, you're welcome. If you want to be alone – It would be great to see you again."
Harry nodded, and a pained look came to his face as he eyed the tunnel leading back to the Whomping Willow and Hogwarts. He straightened his shoulders and nodded, seemingly bracing himself, then gave a small wave to Severus, 'bye', before climbing down into the tunnel and pulling the trapdoor back in place behind him.
Severus remained there for a long time, going over their conversation and Harry's smile and laugh in his mind.
hr
Some hours later Nicholas came floating through the trapdoor, already excited and telling Severus about Harry Potter's absence from the Sorting Feast. How Dumbledore and all the teachers had been searching the school when the boy finally reappeared.
"Nobody knows where he went; Dumbledore took him and Lupin up to his office, and the last I heard Harry had returned to his dorm. It caused quite a stir when he wasn't at the feast, and I think there are still some rumours going around that You-Know-Who somehow managed to abduct him. Oh well, that should be straightened out when they seem him in the Hall at breakfast tomorrow morning."
"He was here."
"What?"
Severus smiled, and then shrugged. "Harry was here. He said he wanted to be alone, to be away from people for a little while.
"And I told him, Nicholas. I warned him, and he listened. He believed me."
Nicholas returned Severus' smile.
"Do you think he can help you?"
Severus' smile faded and he bit his lip. "I didn't ask. Perhaps. But it doesn't matter. He listened to me when I warned him about Black and Lupin, and he said he would return. I didn't expect him to believe me, but he didn't defend Black at all. I'm worried. Why would he come out all this way just to be alone?"
"He has been having a difficult time lately, Severus. It's all the attention, I suppose. He is never left alone for fear he will be attacked by You-Know-Who, and he saw the Diggory boy die... But I am glad he listened and believed you, and I am sure he will aid our endeavours. Harry Potter is a true Gryffindor if I have ever met one."
Nicholas had grasped Severus' hand, and Severus' smile returned at the faith the other ghost seemed to radiate. He didn't share that same confidence however. If Dumbledore had not changed his mind after two decades, he probably would not do so now just because Harry Potter asked him. Lupin was still teaching at the school; Black was a hero to the Light. Dumbledore would not want to risk his dirty little secret being exposed. In any case, Severus felt reluctant to involve Harry in this. It was clear that the other boy had enough troubles of his own without Severus adding to them.
Before he could comment on that, however, the trapdoor was pushed open and both ghosts spun around to see Dumbledore climbing through, and then dusting off his garish maroon robes. The sight of the Headmaster made Severus' temper flare, but he managed to stay in control, and not even the back of his robes was slashed open. Nicholas gave Severus' hand a tight squeeze for reassurance, then drew himself up to his full height, straightening the ruff around his throat and coolly returning the headmaster's gaze.
"Severus, Nicholas," the headmaster nodded. Nicholas gave the slightest incline of his head in return. Severus just glared, forcing down the anger and frustration.
"Severus, I have spoken with Harry Potter."
Severus gritted his teeth and looked at Dumbledore without blinking. He was this close to losing control, filled with frustration and fear of what Dumbledore might do, and that he would not be able to defend himself.
"You told him about the accident, told him that Sirius was involved." From the tone of the headmaster's voice, it was clear that he was not pleased with this development at all.
"Accident?" Severus shrieked, and he moved toward the headmaster, his hands stretching out like claws. Nicholas' hand on his shoulder stopped him. Severus could feel his blood trickling down the ragged furrows on his back, soaking into his student robes.
"Is that what you tell yourself it was, Dumbledore?" This time Severus managed an angry whisper, and he clenched his hands into fists. "Black murdered me, and we both know it. You covered it up.
"As for my telling Harry the truth: he asked me. And he has a right to be warned that his godfather is a murderous lying son –"
"I will not have you coming between Harry and Sirius, Severus," Dumbledore interrupted. "Harry has had little love and affection in his life, and I will not have you tainting the relationship with his godfather. I have spoken to Harry, and explained why you are here and why the details of your death must be kept a secret. He has agreed to maintain that silence."
Dumbledore paused for a moment. Severus knew there was more to come, and it would only get worse. And while he hadn't truly expected for Harry to come to his defence, hearing that he agreed with Dumbledore on keeping Severus' existence and death a secret... You only have Dumbledore's word for that though. He listened to you.
"However, since it is now clear that merely confining you to the Shack is insufficient to keep this secret, I see no other path than to reinstate the geas I placed on you two years ago." Dumbledore drew his wand and Severus could only watch in horror. It would do no good to run: where could he run to?
"Here now, Dumbledore," Nicholas interrupted angrily, moving between the headmaster and the other ghost. "This can't be necessary; I am sure there is some other way –"
"Sir Nicholas, please step aside. Too much depends on keeping what happened that sad night twenty years ago a secret. Remus Lupin's life is the least of it."
"But a geas –"
"Sir Nicholas..."
"Nick. Nick, please." It was Severus' turn to grasp Nicholas' arm and pull him aside, out of the way of Dumbledore's wand. "It's all right."
It wasn't all right. It wasn't anywhere close to all right, but there was no way they would ever change Dumbledore's mind, and if Nicholas protested too much, Dumbledore might do the same to him.
Clearly unhappy, Nicholas looked at Severus, and then gave a curt nod, before turning away, as if unable to witness what the headmaster was about to do.
Dumbledore ignored Nicholas and waved his wand, speaking the words to bind Severus. It was worse than Severus remembered it; he felt suffocated as his secret – his reason for being – was locked away inside him. It was a prison within a prison, and there was no way left to express that essential part of himself.
"Sir Nicholas, I am going to have to ask you to reaffirm the oath you took not to reveal Severus' presence or secrets to anyone, living or dead."
Severus was vaguely aware of the headmaster and Nicholas talking, but he was too preoccupied with the suffocating feeling of claustrophobia. When he finally took note of his surroundings again, he realised that Nicholas was calling his name, holding his arms tightly.
"Severus? Severus, are you okay? Severus, talk to me."
There was no sign of Dumbledore, and the trapdoor was back in its place.
"Nicholas –"
It must have come out all wrong, because all of a sudden Nicholas had thrown his arms around him and was pulling him into a tight embrace.
"Oh Merlin, Severus, the bastard, the fucking bastard. I took the oath, but my word to him means nothing, I swear to you, it means nothing."
Severus didn't answer, just clung to the other ghost. He could feel the rage and anger bottled up deep inside him, impotent and useless. His ghostly body couldn't even manifest the wounds of his death any more.
Nicholas remained with Severus until the light of dawn, by which time he had to leave and return to Gryffindor. He promised to come back as soon as possible and that he would tell the others, oath to Dumbledore be damned. They would have to be very careful to prevent the headmaster from discovering this mutiny. Severus just nodded numbly, and then drifted aimlessly through the shack. There was nothing else he could do.
As the hours passed, a few of the other ghosts made a brief appearance. An unusually solemn Joseph stopped by and appeared as distressed as Nicholas had been. The Bloody Baron visited after dusk, again just looking at Severus until he left without a word. Even Peeves turned up, for once not taunting or singing rude songs. The poltergeist seemed taken aback by the geas Dumbledore had placed upon Severus, perhaps coming to the realisation that if the headmaster could do this to a ghost, he could inflict the same upon a poltergeist.
The day passed and another dawned, and Severus despaired at keeping his sanity. Not only was he trapped at the place of his murder, he could no longer even express his despair or anger at either, even to himself.
He desperately tried to distract himself. The only thing that worked was thinking about Harry Potter. He remembered every little thing Nicholas had ever told him about the boy, remembered seeing him for the first time nearly two years ago, remembered the recognition in the other boy's eyes when he saw him a year later, remembered the boy's smile and laugh.
He tried not to think about the boy's promise to visit him again, tried not to hope. Dumbledore would have forbidden it, and why would Harry even want to?
However, that afternoon, the trapdoor was pushed open, and a head of messy black hair and bespectacled green eyes peered into the shack, before the boy threw his book bag through the hole and climbed up after it. He dropped a shimmering cloth on the floor and looked at Severus.
"I needed somewhere quiet and private to study, needed to get away. Dumbledore said it was all right as long as I warned Remus – Professor Lupin, where I am."
Severus was silent, still trying to accept that Harry had actually returned.
"Is it all right with you?"
"Yes. Yes, of course. Please, you're welcome here."
Harry smiled tentatively and then settled on the floor, pulling out a thick tome but not yet opening it.
"Nick told me what happened, what Dumbledore did," he finally whispered, before looking up at Severus. "I'm sorry I got you in trouble."
"It's not your fault," Severus said, and he settled on the floor beside Harry. He searched for something to say, something that the damned geas would let him say, and then waved at the tome with his hand. "Perhaps I can help you with your homework?"
Harry looked aside at him with a small smile, before making a face at the thick dark tome in front of them.
"Sure, thanks. Were you ever any good at Potions?"
