Intentions
By: Caiman
Part 9

DISCLAIMER: I don't own "it", I will never own "it", and rest assured if I did own "it", I'd be bragging. ("It" being Evangelion)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, damn. I've been busy again ("Damn your schedule!") and moving into college was an interesting experience ("Damn your eyes, man! Get on with it!"), but I've finally settled into a pattern of study and sleep, and here's the result of it all.
The standard stuff from before still applies. And I need a hug, dammit.


Reading: "" - Denotes speaking
'' - Denotes thinking
|| - Denotes sound effects
//// - Denotes translation

Kick it!


INTENTIONS

Someone somewhere must have had it in for Shinji Ikari. That was the young pilot's conclusion as the temperature in the Tokai district fell from warm and pleasant to cold and miserable. While this wouldn't have bothered him had he been in the comfort of the Katsuragi apartment, it was certainly wearing on his mind since he was currently locked out.

All he remembered was that it happened so fast.

There was the door. Then there was Asuka. Then a grab, then a bird, then a shut.

The result: On the inside, Misato and Asuka. In the cold, Shinji and PenPen.

"Waark wark!" //"That damned kid!"//

PenPen was none too pleased with the results, either. And he made his feelings known by slapping Shinji on the thigh and motioning him towards the door in a rather violent manner. Reluctantly, Shinji knocked on the door.

"Asuka? When can we come in?"

A sweet, sing-song voice replied. "When I'm reeeady!"

"Anno… and when will that be? Soon?"

"Baka! Don't rush beauty!"

"WAAAARK WAAARK AAAR!" //"JUST OPEN THE DOOR, ASS!"//

With the initial exchange over, the pilot of Unit 01 slumped down and put his head between his legs. PenPen waddled over and gave the defeated Child a pat on the back.

"Waark warrk." //"You tried."//

With that the door of the apartment opened, revealing a smiling Misato.
She motioned to the two males in her midst. "You can come in now."

Slowly, the young Ikari rose to his feet and shuffled in. PenPen followed suit, swaying back and forth as he moved his feathered form into the residence. As the pair came into the living area, their jaws dropped.

"Waaaaaaaaark." //"Daaaaaamn."//

"Guuuuuuuuuuuuuh…"

"As eloquent as ever, Shinji."

The response came from Asuka, who was looking "muy caliente" in her crimson dress and heels. The neural receptors that usually adorned her hair were replaced with two chopsticks, which held her long locks in a bun. Around the German girl's neck was a simple gold necklace with a garnet pendant.

Shinji swallowed to keep his heart from jumping out onto the floor in what would have been a rather embarrassing display. The vision of beauty was then disturbed by Misato, who was currently wearing the stupidest grin Shinji had ever seen.

"Well, Shinji, let's get you changed!"

"N-nani?! But, but!"

"C'mon, let's go!"

Shinji's protests fell on deaf ears as the Major pushed him into his room, shutting the door behind her.

After watching as her date was forced into another room, Asuka sighed and smiled despite herself. She crouched down and came face to face with PenPen.

"So, how do you think I look, PenPen?"

"Waaaark war war waark wark." //"Going without the horns was a good call."//

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About a mile away, Rei Ayanami viewed the proceedings with distaste. Behind her, Makoto Hyuuga was busily clacking away on his laptop.

He looked away from his work to regard the teenager in front of him. Never had he seen the girl like this, so hell-bent on something of her own design. She was really nothing like she'd been a week ago, when she was as docile as a Hindu cow. And here he was, working during his day off for a thousand yen and the chance of seeing Misato in various states of undress.

He was jerked back from his revelry by Rei's report. "Target acquired. They are currently departing from the Katsuragi residence."

"Gotcha. I have everything set up."

"And..?"

"Let's just say that the night will have its… obstacles."

A slight chuckle came from the blue-haired lass. "Excellent."

"Yes, yes."

She turned and sat down, adjusting her camouflage jacket. "Hey, Hyuuga-san."

"Nani?"

"Whatever happened to your empire?"

Makoto let out a nervous laugh and scratched his head. "Oh, that! Yeah, um, I sold it."

"Sold it? To who, if I may ask?"

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Meanwhile, a few hundred miles away, a man at the top floor of a foreboding tower laughed maniacally.

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"You sold it to Microsoft?"

Hyuuga shrugged his shoulders. "Yep, the money was really good."

"How much?"

"Well, um, that's…"

"Hyuuga."

"Hai?"

"How much?"

"Um, twenty five thousand yen and Oh My Goodness Gracious One."

"You sold half of Africa for pocket money and a manga?"

"Yeah. A helluva thing, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes it is."

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It was still tender. Despite all the advancements that had come with the development of the Evangelions, no medical technology had yet been developed to completely eliminate post-operative pain. And Gendo Ikari was cursing the fact with every profane word at his disposal. But his newly unwired jaw wasn't having any of it, so he just settled on grumbling as he attempted to finish his daily paperwork. As he turned the page, the elder Ikari's expression softened.

"About damn time I got to the centerfold."

The commander's admiration of the playful girl in his magazine was broken as his honed senses picked up three new people in the room. With cat-like speed, Gendo tossed the magazine in a nearby drawer and assumed his trademark position. "What do you-"

His hard-ass demeanor fell flat as his eyes met those of a ghost. "Y-Yui…"

The brown-haired woman was flanked by Ritsuko (who had a demented grin on her face) on the left and Maya on the right.

Yui's eyes softened as she beheld her beloved husband. "Hey honey, it's been a while."

------------------------------TITLE FLASH-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
INTENTIONS
Part 9
Welcome Home/Tribulation Redux
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For the first time in his life, Gendo Ikari was at a loss. He didn't know what to do, what to say. His wife, who'd been trapped inside EVA Unit-01 for over a decade, was now standing in front of him.

Finally, he settled upon a plan of attack. Slowly, Gendo pushed away from his desk, his eyes never looking away from Yui. He rounded the corner of the desk, and charged his prodigal wife with his arms wide open.

|THUD!|

His embrace was met with a knee to the groin.

"That's for Naoko."

|CRACK!|

A clothesline closely followed.

"That's for little Ritsuko!"

|SNAP!|

A kick in the side came soon after.

"And that's for Katsuragi's little girl!"

The three-hit combo sent Gendo to the ground in a heap. His jaw now completely numb, he just looked up sadly at Yui. She was staring right back, arms akimbo.

Ritsuko smirked. "Well, Commander, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Gendo glared at the blonde doctor. "Kiss my ass, Doctor."

"What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry… Rit-chan."

"YOU SON OF A…!"

Maya had to restrain her sempai as the older woman reached for her .45 Magnum. Yui used the break to crouch down by her beaten mate. "So, while I was stuck in that damned purple beast, you decided that our sacred covenant was optional?"

Gendo struggled to look up at his disdainful wife. "Heh, about that…"

The light from the outside of the GeoFront lent an eerie glow to Yui's eyes as she glared at Gendo. "No excuses. You will pay for what you've done, Gendo Rokubungi."

The elder Ikari cringed at his old surname. All the while, however, the brilliant mind of the NERV Commander was hard at work. Finally, it produced a resolution to the situation.

"I'll buy you the biggest, juiciest steak you've ever seen."

The joyous squeal that Yui produced caused Maya and Ritsuko to grab their ears in pain.

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Unfeasibly cold weather aside, things were going pretty well for Shinji Ikari. He had two very attractive girls fawning over him, one of which was currently holding his hand as they walked to the Tokyo-3 Playhouse. As Asuka moved to the ticket counter, she gave Shinji a peck on the cheek, causing the boy to blush.

The redhead sauntered up to the ticket booth. "Hi, could I have two for Love Hina: The Musical?"

The young man in the booth looked briefly to his left and gave the girl a strange look. "I'm… sorry, but I can't let you in to the show."

Asuka's eyebrow rose. "Why the hell not?"

"Um… I can't really…"

"Look, just say what it is."

"I'd rather…"

"SAY IT!"

"I can't let you in because you were found… um, pleasuring yourself during a performance."

"WHAT?"

"Hey, it's what the print-out says here."

"Well, it's wrong."

"No, there is a very clear, crisp image of you in the act."

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. See?"
With that, the ticket man pressed the very large picture which left nothing to anyone's imagination against the window. Needless to say, he didn't see Asuka's right cross coming through the glass and straight for his jaw.

But he sure as hell felt it.

At the very least, he felt it when he went through the back of the booth, leaving splinters and glass shards in his wake.

Asuka stormed away, making a path through the crowd of onlookers that gathered to watch the ordeal. She seized Shinji's arm and dragged him away from the scene.

"Asuka, what was that about? He held something up but I…"

"It was nothing, sweetie. Nothing at all."

"You maimed him for no reason, then?"

"Yes, I maimed him for only the sheer pleasure of watching him bleed."

"Oh."

"Let's go eat now."

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PenPen glared across the table at the human heap that lay before him. After the Children left, Misato decided to drink every can of Yebisu in the Katsuragi apartment. The result was a groaning mass of half-exposed woman, who reeked of alcohol and Pocky buried in a mountain of aluminum.

The smell was atrocious, but PenPen was equipped to deal with it.

He had fish, and he had Misato's "Special Love Punch". A crude amalgamation of grain alcohol, Chianti and strawberry wine cooler, the Punch would save PenPen from the horrors of sobriety.

At very least, the Punch's pungent odor was overtaking Misato's stench, and that was enough for the warm-water bird. He eagerly took a beakful of the tasty beverage.

He was out before he hit the ground.

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"So then I says to him, 'You have no chance. Just die.' And BAM! Killed that bitch dead!"

Yui sipped her tea as Gendo regaled her with tales of his misdeeds. "That's wonderful, dear."

The Commander looked across the table with a furrowed brow. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Of course I am, honey. You killed a guy while saying some flashy line."

"Yeah!"
"I used to do that all the time when I was in Gehirn. As a matter of fact, that particular line is mine."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Ah, shit."

The brown-haired woman set her tea down and gazed into her husband's eyes. "How have you and Shinji been getting along?"

Gendo was taken aback. "Uh, well… not too well since you've been gone."

She nodded knowingly. "You were never good with kids."

"I'd just end up hurting him. He's just a child."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Besides, dealing with your dad's just about as much as I can take."

"Don't drag my daddy into this."

Gendo cleared his throat. "Instrumentality has been very, very time consuming."

"But it didn't stop you from making a replacement."

"…You mean Rei?"

"Yes, I mean Rei."

"She wasn't a replacement. I made her to be a perfect match for Shinji."

"Oh, is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right. She's everything a boy like Shinji could want."

"How would you know? It's not like you've spent any real time with him."

"And how would you know? You've been stuck in Unit 01 for a decade."

Yui shot back angrily. "And yet I've spent more time with our son than you!"

The man lowered his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"You're apologizing to the wrong person, Gendo. You should be apologizing to Shinji."

"But, it's so hard to talk to him sometimes. I feel like affection from me just comes off as a show."

"It's a risk you have to take. Besides, you brought it on yourself."

"That's bullshit, Yui."

"How so?"
"Would you rather I'd kept Shinji, so he could see the experiments we were doing?"

"You could've hired a nanny. Anything's better than pawning the boy off on a stranger."

"Even keeping him close during that time seemed like a bad idea. We didn't know when the next wave would show. I felt like everyday I went down there I wouldn't come back up. It was better he hated me than have two parents he loved die on him."

Yui looked down at her drink. "You're a kind man. But you're still very, very stupid."

Gendo smiled as the waiter served the pair their meals. "I know."

The Ikari couple then ate in silence.


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AUTHOR'S NOTE: A little more somber installment, and about twice as long as any before. I felt that some of these bases needed to be covered before the story could progress. But hey, y'know, I'm trying to weave a decent story and have some fun with it as I go. Thanks to good ol' Random for the preread.

See ya.

Caiman