DISCLAIMER: I do not own Lord of the Rings. But I do own the goat of abomination! Nobody touches the goat of abomination, or I will hurt you, a la Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon! Only I can't fly like they do

It was another lovely day in the Shire. The birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and the cows were mooing. But Merry saw none of this. Well, he heard the cows, but that isn't the point! His mind was occupied with more serious matters. Like what he was gong to say to Estella when he knocked on her door!

" ' Hello, Estella! How are you?' No, that's too common. ' Lovely day, isn't it? How would you like to go on a picnic?' Yes, that may work," he muttered to himself as he walked down the road, causing other hobbits to stare as they walked by. As he drew nearer to her home, his thoughts began to sabotage his plan. This is never going to work. She obviously hates me! How am I ever going to get her to talk to me, he thought. A pretty daisy on the side of the road caught his eye.

" Flowers! Perfect!" he said happily as he picked the lovely thing. Soon, he had a lovely bouquet in his hand.

" There, this should work," he thought, pleased with his success. He was about to walk up the hill to Estella's hobbit hole when he was again bombarded with thoughts of doubt and failure. A goat wandered down the road and stopped next to him. Merry began to absentmindedly pet it's head. Alright, it's now or never, he thought as he slowly walked up the fern - laden path to Estella's door, leaving the goat at the road. His fist shook as he knocked on the door. A fat hobbit, obviously Estella's father, answered.

" How may I help you, Master Merry?" he asked, looking at Merry a bit oddly.

" Is Estella home?" Merry, one of his eyebrows arched jauntily.

" Hold on just a moment," Estella's father said. He walked into the house a little ways, calling for her.

" Estella, visitor for you!" he yelled as he retreated back into his home to finish his lunch. Merry straightened up as he heard her coming down the hall.

" Hello?" she asked as she opened the door wider.

" Estella!" Merry said happily.

" What do you want?" she asked sharply as she closed the door a couple of inches.

" I was just coming by to see how you were doing," Merry said, once again attempting to be dashing and debonair.

" I am fine, thank you," she said a bit uncertainly. Why was Merry being so nice to her?

" Well, I was just about to go on a little picnic, and it's no fun going alone, so I was wondering if you would like to come?" he asked, looking down at her innocently. Estella studied him for a minute.

" Alright, I'll go with you," she said.

" Oh, here, I brought these for you!" Merry said proudly as he pulled the flowers out from behind his back. Estella's eyes widened. Merry smiled, glad that the flowers had floored her.

" Merry, I don't see what you think is so funny about this!" she said, radiating anger from her eyes.

" What-" he said, then looked down at the bouquet in his hands. To his horror, all that was left of the beautiful flowers were the stems and some petals that were feebly clinging to them!
" And I actually thought you were being nice and wanted to see me! But you're still just a heartless hobbit out for the joke! Well, for your information, it is not funny!" she went on.

" No, Estella, you have to understand -" he started to say.

" I do understand! You are never going to grow up! Why don't you just leave me alone!" she yelled and slammed the door in his face. Merry stood in complete shock. What had just happened? Everything was going so perfectly! Then it all blew up in his face. He began walking back down to the road. Then he saw the goat. The goat with a single daisy petal sticking to it's chin.

" You!" Merry shouted, pointing at the goat.

" Baa!" the goat said.

" You are responsible for this!" Merry went on, pointing to the destroyed bouquet that he was still clutching in his hand.

" I hope you had a nice lunch!" he shouted at the animal as he turned down the road. The goat turned it's spotted self around and walked down the road in the opposite direction. An old hobbit that had been observing the scene from his front porch shook his head and went inside to eat.

A little later that day, Pippin could be seen walking down the exact same road. Pippin was heading into the market in hopes of running into Diamond when she wasn't with all her friends. Maybe she will actually talk to me, he thought hopefully as he straightened the front of his red coat. He soon reached the fruit and vegetable stands. Fat hobbit women were bustling about, picking out their goods. Pippin caught sight of Diamond working one of the fruit stands. Pippin slowly made his way over, passing a goat along the way.

" Hello, Pippin!" she said happily as she arranged a display of apples.

" Hello, Miss Diamond," he said shyly. She laughed lightly at the propriety of his greeting.

" Call me Diamond, please!" she said.

" OkayDiamond," Pippin said, looking into her beautiful blue eyes. She smiled again, causing them to shine.

" Are you going to buy anything, Pippin?" she asked.

" Oh, yes, I'lltake one of these," he said as he picked up a bright red apple.

" Just one?" Diamond asked, a teasing light in her eye.

" Yes, just one to eat on my way home," he said.

" That will be one farthing," she said as she held out her hand for his money. He dropped the coin lightly into her hand.

" Thank you, Pippin," she said as she looked up at him. He smiled and looked down.

Our friend the goat had been watching Pippin, or more importantly, Pippin;s red coat. The coat did something to him, sent him into some sort of rage. Before the goat could stop himself, he charged Pippin and slammed into him! Pippin pitched forward! He slammed into Diamond's fruit stand, crushing her apple display! He lay still for a moment, then stood to look into the eyes of the spotted goat that was standing behind him, glaring at his coat. The goat then turned tail and walked down the road and away from the embarrassing scene. Pippin turned and looked at what was left of the fruit stand. All the apples lay crushed on the ground. Diamond's father came roaring up.

" You stupid hobbit! Look at what you have done! All my fruit is ruined!" he yelled as he gestured to his destroyed fruit.

" Sir, it wasn't my- " Pippin began.

" Fault? It wasn't your fault? Look around you! You fell on it! You ruined it! Get out of here!" Diamond's father shouted as he threw a crushed apple at Pippin. The poor hobbit turned and ran down the road. The angry shouts of all the hobbits faded as he ran. He reached his hobbit hole, ran inside, and shut the door.

" Well, did you have any success?" Merry asked as he pushed himself up out of a chair where he had been sitting, waiting for Pippin.

" Success? I had the opposite of success! I was doing fine until a goat decided to slam himself into my bottom! I fell all over Diamond's fruit stand and her father gave me an earful!" Pippin said angrily as he threw of his now - soiled red coat.

" Wait, did you say goat?" Merry asked.

" Yes, this stupid spotted goat!" Pippin said, looking at Merry as if he were deaf.

" I went to see Estella and give her some flowers, but just when she was about to go on a picnic with me, I handed them to her and all the petals were gone! A spotted goat ate them," Merry said, realization dawning in his eyes.

" I'll bet it was the same goat!" Pippin said, his eyes wide.

" It most likely was! This is not fair! I'll bet the goat didn't get in the way of Sam when he went to visit Rosie! Why is it plaguing us?" Merry asked no one in particular.

" I think it hated my red coat," Pippin said sadly as he looked at the garment.

" Goat of abomination!" Merry yelled. Pippin looked at him strangely.

" Merry, have you been into the ale?" he asked.

" Only a little," Merry replied. Pippin gave him an exasperated look.

" What? I only had a little, and I think I fully deserved it," Merry said in his defense. Pippin rolled his eyes.

" Come on, let's get something to eat," Pippin said as he headed for his pantry.

" Oh, yes! Lets!" Merry said happily. Hobbits are always happy at the prospect of food.

That's it for now! Now, you see that little blue bar over to your left that says 'Submit Review'? Well, there is a little blue button next to it that says 'Go'. You see it? Go click on it! I need reviews to stay motivated!

Some of you might be thinking, " Goats aren't enraged at the sight of red!" Well, for your information, this goat is, because he is my abomidable creation! MUWAHAHAHA!!! Now go review, or I will send my goat to torment you!!