A/N: Hello everybody! Here the party finally starts! Next chapter it continues and then, at chapter 9, it finishes (at least I have planned like this!).
I hope you like it, but I must warn you that my stock of gags is ending! Lol!
Anyway here it goes and please REVIEW!
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Eight p.m. Gondor Palace's Dinner Hall. It was all so shining, all so beautiful. The hall had been carefully arrenged. Two big tables were in the middle of it. Two big tables with delicate white and silver tablecloths. Upon then, two silver candlesticks with three little lit candles in each one. Around the tables, silver elvish chairs, like they used to make in Rivendell. The Dinner Hall was all white, as was whole Minas Tirith. It was really high, and four round white columns gave sustain to it. It was a huge round hall, and there were stairs leading to it all around the place, because it was on the lower level of the Palace. There were a stair coming from the east wing, one from the west, one from the north and one from the south. It was exactly on the middle of the beautiful white Gondor Palace. And today, the Dinner Hall was shining with silver.
Eight p. m. Gondor Palace's Dinner Hall. Coming from the west stair, Arwen's family. Coming from the east one, Aragorn's friends. Musicians were playing their harps. It was everything so perfect that they almost forgot about how they were scared at each other.
"Oh my Eru! Look at there!", Gimli pointed at the two women that were coming down the west stairs.
Faramir rubbed his eyes. Eomer did the same, and Legolas just smiled in pure amusement. The hobbits glared – but at the table food, nothing could be more attractive to them.
"It is the Morning and the Eve!", Aragorn glanced at Galadriel and Arwen and smiled. Galadriel all white and Arwen dressed in a long blue dress smiled back.
"It is surely the most beautiful women that I have ever seen!", Eomer was astonished.
"Yes it is! It surely is!", Faramir agreed.
Aragorn stared at his wife in pure astonishment. He had almost forgotten how gorgeous she was. Then he bounded to her, offered her his arm and leaded her to her table. There she would be with her relatives.
Eowyn jealously bit her inferior lip, staring at the two women now confortably seated on their table. The men – except for the hobbits, who were still glaring at the food table – were all staring at them in joy.
"The morning and the eve! The morning and the eve!", Eowyn muttered to herself mimicking Aragorn's way of speaking. She was really pissed off and cursing herself for she never could be a girly girl.
In fact, she was really gorgeous too. But it was like she was the ugliest been in the whole world. She felt like an orc. How to seem beautiful and desirable near those elves? It was quite impossible. And there she stood, looking jealous and outraged.
Aragorn gravely coughed, as he always did when he had something important or solemn to say. "Welcome everybody to my homage to you! To you all! To my friends and to my wife's family! I'm really honored to have you here at my halls today, and please make yourselves confortable! Dinner will be served!", it was a solemn moment. Everyone seated down at their places and Aragorn clapped. With that, a legion of minions came to serve dinner.
And they all had a splendid dinner. And, exactly at 11 p. m., dinner had finished – surprisingly, it was peaceful. But, as we are in a humor fic, when dinner was over, Aragorn stood up and clapped again. And to that, the Dinner Hall became dark.
"Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!", they all mumbled in surprise.
Then colorful lights suddenly illuminated the Hall. Up there at the terrace Beregond gave a ok sign to Aragorn and a lively music started playing.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh!", they all shouted and began to dance.
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At a corner of the Hall – I mean, we all know that round halls do not actually have a corner, but you get the point... The twins were dancing all alone.
"Elladan! Elladan I am confused, bro!", Elrohir was shouting due to the music.
"What is it Elrohir?"
"It is about what happened this afternoon!"
"You mean the catfight?", Elladan was curious.
"Yeah! Eowyn, you know! She's amazing!", Elrohir was confused. "She was playing with Legolas all the time! They seemed to be having such a great time! And she played with us as well! In fact I would like to be talking to her right now instead of stay here talking to you!"
"Oh that hurt! That hurt Elrohir!", Elladan was upset.
"Elladan don't be stupid! You know what I mean!", he crossed his arms not in a very friendly way.
"I do know what you mean bro! But for Eru's sake remember what she did to grandma there at Imrahil's!", Elladan was trying to clear his big bro's mind.
"I do remember Elladan! But... what if it was all a misunderstanding anyway? What if these people is great as daddy says?", Elrohir was really confused. "We were all drunk anyway!", he had a point.
"Great Elladan! We need to get drunk! We must not loose this opportunity – Eru knows when we will be able to get drunk again! I'll go get us a drink, please don't leave!", Elladan said and left. Elrohir rolled eyes and stood there alone with his thoughts.
Then Elrohir shook his head as to get those very thoughts away. He sneaked to a hidden corner of the bar where nobody could see him and drank, drank a lot. "I have to stop thinking that!", he thought to self drinking another tequila. "Arriba!", he silently shouted.
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At the bar Eowyn was betting with Gimli who were the best drinker.
"Hey I bet ten gold coins at Eowyn!", shouted Aragorn.
"Ok Aragorn I go for Gimli then!", Merry covered his pal's bet.
"GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!", Elrond, Merry, Pippin, Faramir, Eomer and the recently arrived Elladan shouted.
Eowyn empitied her glass. And so did Gimli.
"GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!", they all shouted – again.
Eowyn emptied her glass. And so did Gimli. And so they did once, twice, thrice. At the forth time...
"My Lady I must confess – you are really brave!", Gimli said and, with his eyes wide opened, fainted. Everybody laughed – they had drank lots of margueritas already.
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At the middle of the hall, Galadriel, Arwen, Celebrían and Legolas were happily dancing. They were really gracious.
"Eomer dude do you think this elf is kinda gay?", Faramir asked.
"Who knows dude? Who knows?", Eomer asked. Then they started dancing too.
"What are you doing here big boys?", Eowyn had arrived at the dancing place too. She was really drunk and started dancing wildly.
"Wow this is my girl!", Faramir was also drunk.
"No she's my sis!", drunk Eomer said.
"My girl!"
"My sis!"
"My girl!"
"My sis!"
"You can be really annoying, you know?!", Galadriel said to them holding a marguerita glass.
Yes, I may be repetitive, but at this time they were all drunk already – which was a real danger, as we all know what happened the first time they got drunk together...
"And you can be really gorgeous, Lady Galadriel!", Faramir stated.
"Indeed!", Eomer agreed.
"I hate you two!", Eowyn said to her brother and her husband and left runing. The two men laughed – they were very drunk – but Elrohir, who happened to be arriving there, run after her.
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"Hey wait Eowyn! What is it?", Elrohir reached her at the gardens.
"Wow you're smelling twin! Uffff....", she said. Then she stared at him. "Lemme guess: Elrohir!", she fell to the ground, laughing.
"Right, Elrohir! And, if you allow me to say, you're also smelling!", he laughed and fell to the ground as well.
They both stared each other and burst out laughing.
"But what is it, Eowyn sweetie?!", he asked. "Why you left runing like this?"
"I always wanted to be a girly girl!", she wept.
"I like you as you are!", he said smiling. She glared at him in total surprise.
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"Faramir, Eomer, I cannot believe that you didn't go after Eowyn!", Aragorn slapped their necks. "Can't you see she's jealous?"
"Wow Ranger boy, it was the first nice thing you spoke since my family arrived!", Arwen hugged her husband and kissed his cheek.
"Perhaps he's right Eomer!", said dumb Faramir.
"Indeed!", agreed idiot Eomer.
Then they both left runing.
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Arwen looked up to Beregond and made a secret sign. Then he nodded and her music played.
You can dance / You can jive / Having the time of your life / See that girl / Watch that scene / Dig in the dancing queen"That's me!", Arwen went to the middle of the hall.
Friday night and the lights are lowArwen was dancing like mad
Looking out for a place to go"Hey I can dance that too!", Galadriel was shaking.
Where they play the right music"I love Abba!", Elrond shouted.
Getting in the swing"I can do the swing!", Frodo went to dance. "Wait for me Mr Frodo!", Sam muttered.
You come to look for a king"That's me!", Aragorn hold his wife's hand and started acting like John Travolta – even though they'd never heard of him.
Anybody could be the guuuy..."No way!", the king hold his queen.
Night is young and music is hiiiiiiiiigh"Go Beregond!", the couple shouted.
With a bit of rock music everything is fine
"It really is!", Merry was merry.
You're in the mood for a dance!"Yes I am!", Arwen was spinning all over the hall.
And when you get the chance...
"What?", she shouted.
You are a dancing queen / Young and sweet / Only seventeen..."No way!", Elrond hugged his daughter and laughed. "No way you're only seventeen!"
Dancing queen / Feel the beat / From the tambourine, oh yeah..."I feel it!", Aragorn hold his wife.
You can dance!"Oh Eru knows I can!", Legolas shook the hips.
You can jive!"If the pointy ear can, I also can!", Gimli was jiving.
Having the time of your life..."That sounds good! C'mon mommy dance with me!", Elladan and Celebrían were now having a good time.
Uuuu see that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen..."Well that's me!", Arwen said laughing hugged to her husband.
And when you get the chance..."Merry it souds great!", Pippin was now dancing too. Merry was merrily dancing.
You are a dancing queen..."That's me too!", Galadriel kissed her husband.
Feel the beat from the tambourine oh yeah..."I can feel it! I can feel it!", Celeborn hold Galadriel's hand.
You can dance you can jive having the time of your life...Now they were all dancing together. The tension had gone, everything was fine.
Uuuuu see that girl watch that sce...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!", a painful scream came from nowhere.
Beregond immediately stopped the music.
"What was that for Eru's sake?", Celeborn was scared.
"What do your elven ears listen Legolas?", Aragorn gravely asked.
Legolas pranced up on the stairs and stared at space with a hand upon his eyes, as to protect himself from the inexistent morning sun. "The uruk-hai go south. They run as if their master's whips were behind them!"
"What...?", they all asked in unison not understanding anything.
"Nevermind! Oh and by the way the scream came from the gardens!", he pointed out.
They all run to the so-called gardens. When they arrived there they could see – guess what? – another catfight. Eowyn was fighting Eomer and Faramir was fighting Elrohir.
"What's going on here?", Aragorn asked but they didn't answer.
"What the Mordor is going on here?", Arwen asked but they just kept on fighting.
Galadriel, Celeborn, Frodo, Legolas... everybody asked what was going on, but they didn't answer, they just kept on fighting. Then Elrond – who was always the one able to end up the fights, bless him – went back to hall and came back, bringing an apple pie (do they have apples at Middle Earth? Who knows...)
"I'll ask it one last time", Elrond coughed. "Why are you people fighting?"
Unsurprisingly, they didn't answer and kept on fighting. Then mad Elrond just threw the pie on them. They stopped and glared at the others.
"See? Simple like that!", Elrond rubbed his hands while everybody glared amazed at him.
"You wanna know why we are fighting? I'll tell ya why we are fighting! Freaking Eowyn and freaking Elladan were kissing each other!", Faramir shouted wide-eyed and full of apple pie.
"What a shame! You see Arwen what your freaking brother have done?", Aragorn screamed.
"Oh wait! You won't say words about my son!", Celebrían slapped Aragorn's neck.
"Audacity!", Legolas screamed and jumped on Celebrían.
"Take your hands off of my daughter, Elf!", Celeborn shouted.
"ONE FOR ALL!", they all screamed.
"AND ALL FOR ONE!", again they all shouted.
Then they run back to the hall.
"Mommy why is daddy barricading the hall?", a childish voice spoke as Arwen felt someone hold to her dress.
"Because your daddy is nutts, Eldarion!", she answered. "Anyway go back to sleep!"
"I can't! You are all making so many noises!", the child yawned.
"Oh your daddy will pay me!", Arwen said.
Aragorn indeed barricaded the hall. He dropped the tables. So the king and his friends were at one side and Arwen's family at the other.
"TO WAAAAAAAAR!", Arwen and Aragorn commanded their armies at the same time. Food started flying all along the hall.
"SEND THAT BEASTS BACK TO THE ABYSS!", again Arwen and Aragorn shouted to their people.
"Eru can't they see that the war – and the movie – is over?", Elrond rolled his eyes and jumped to his family's side.
"What is happening here bro? I can't sleep!", Eldarion's sister – the elder girl – just arrived dragging a teddy bear.
"Come here sis! I'll protect you! These people are all nutts! We've got a freaking family and freaking friends", Eldarion nodded sadly and hugged his sister. Then they found a hidden place behind the bar.
Beregond looked down and saw doom. "I've got the perfect music here!", he dribbled a flying pig bone. "Shot missed!", he shouted down while looking for the proper CD.
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A/N: Ok please don't be scared about Eowyn/Elrohir issue. It'll be properly explained next chapter. Please don't you be indignant, ok?! Lol!
Now to my kind reviwers – I love you all!
Golden Hobbit: I am so glad you're back! I read your update now and I find it amazing! Anyway I'll try and get it later! Keep writing anyway and please keep on reading mine! Oh and by the way, Portuguse is my first language, I'm Brazilian! If you allow me to ask, why did you think French was my first one? I mean, I love French and your question made me smile though!
Uineniel: It's so great to have you back! Wow, and what nice reviews! I'll answer them now! First, I knew Elladan and Elrohir didn't make it to Valinor until Aragorn passed. But, for the plot's sake, it had to be changed! Anything for a humor fic! Lol! Second, their hair color: it was a real lapse and I apologize! I already corrected it – and it was a bad lapse let's say, because Arwen and Elrond are also darke-haired! Duh for me! Anyway, thanks for the tip, and forgive my distraction! Third, it's good to see that you also know that Eomer married Imrahil's daughter! I didn't remember her name, and thanks for telling me! I am glad you're liking the "not knowing war and movie are over" gags, it makes me proud, you know?! Oh, and also that you liked "exploding Dol Amroth": I thought that would be funny, isn't it? And, last but not the least, thanks for saying that I have a good English – it really matters to me! Thanks again and please keep reading and reviewing! Ah and not to forget about Aragorn: he's a amazing character, that's because we all like to make his life a living hell. Abd he's the king, this claims for gags, don't you think? Lol! Thanks for reviewing!
