NOT FADE AWAY

By: Sage360

Disclaimer: M-X, Don't Own Them. Enjoy!

Hey! Thanks for all the emails in my 'time off'. I have a favorite new band, so this chapter is based on their song. The band is TRAPT and the song is "Echo."

ECHO

He paced his room, trying to think. No clarity came. A million times, he'd wished this situation was as easy ans Brennan and Shalimar. They only had to admitted their emotions to each other. Jesse needed his strength, and that being air quickly had him grabbing his coat. The beach was only moments away.

He'd never been able to figure her out and that had been the attraction -still was. Even now, as his footsteps charted a path into the sand, the molecular scanned their short relationship. She was damned right in saying one thing, she definitely wasn't Emma.

The redhead would have never caused him such grief. But she was in the past, something he could no longer grasp the way he needed to. In his mind, she always reverberated smiling, warm and safe. In some ways, Lexa made him feel as though he was cheating on her.

Pushing hands into his coat pocket, he pushed over StormKing's pale dunes, letting the cool air wrap around him. Air always restored his sanity. Between his apologies to a ghost and the wondering for a broken women, air seemed to be all he had. Still, the nobility in him wondered if Lexa was really okay.

She'd torn through her room, wanting so desperately to pack, to pick up, leave and never look back at Mutant X. This damned rock and the people in it had only brought her pain. Her normal choices, rational choices would have never allowed her to save or protect them. She'd still be detached and safe.

Somehow, her body wouldn't function. Instead of packing, the brunette leaned weakly on her stereo, fumbling with the knobs till something familiar came on. Music gave her strength just as a light did. The beginning chords pulled at her heart, insisting her fingers pull at her clothes. Soon, the volume surpassed running water in her shower.

I think about your face

And how I fall into your eyes

The outline that I trace

Around the one that I call mine

Time that called for space

Unclear where you drew the line

I don't need to solve this case

And I don't need to look behind

Simply put, the woman needed to drown. Her body, her soul, her heart- all needed release. And when she couldn't bring herself to, running water could do it for her. Under the downpour, she leaned against the expensive marble wall. Finally crying for everything. Her life, Leo, and Jesse. Blake had been purely physical and a power play on her part. It was simply too easy to fall for the molecular. He was too good, what she didn't deserve but so secretly wanted. Even more so, she didn't want to corrupt him. Shit, she thought. Too late for that. He had to want something. He had to...

Close my eyes

Let the whole thing pass me by

There is no time

To waste asking why

So I'll run away with you by my side

I need to let go of this pride

Until this echo in my mind

Slumping to the floor, Lexa curled into a ball under the running water. It was only alone that she could truly release. Tears faded into the shower water. It was so much easier not to 'feel'. God would never forgive her for hurting Jesse, the one man she actually knew she could love and who obviously could love her.

At least he'll be safe, she reasoned. I can't hurt him if he doesn't want me.

Before this echo can subside

Do I expect to change

The past I hold inside

With all the words I say

Repeating over in my mind

Some things you can't erase

No matter how hard you try

An exit to escape

Is all there is left to find

His steps carried him further along the shores of Storm King. For once, he couldn't go back knowing that she was there. Even if he knew her anger was a cover, she'd shown just how much it could hurt people. Jesse paced quietly over the rushing tide, replaying every turn of their 'conversation'. No matter how much she fought, he could see it was a cover. And no matter how she tried to hurt him, he knew she'd hurt herself worse. That's why he'd been mad a bout Blake. She compromised herself more so than she ever could him. Their 'night' had been an empty action. Some one had to show her she deserved more.

Close my eyes Let the whole thing pass me by

There is no time

To waste asking why

So I'll run away with you by my side

I need to let go of this pride

Until this echo in my mind

Keep fighting me. He thought as his heels turned, heading back in the other direction. I'll fight back- for you.