NOT FADE AWAY

BY:Sage360

Disclaimer: M-X, Don't Own Them. Enjoy!

Thanks to everybody for the fabulous reviews! I took a chance in pushing this particular situation, but you guys have been great! Anyway, enjoy! Don't worry, Adam comes back next chapter!

TORN SHEETS

Jesse lunged at the man like he had nothing left. And Brennan was ready.

It's funny how sexual depravation can drive a man to almost animalistic emotion. Even though rational and almost just, the molecular flew into his teammate, attempting to pummel the man into the bed. But Brennan knew better. After so many missions, the elemental knew just how to gauge his 'brother's' abilities. No matter how destructive they got, the blonde wouldn't mass up and he wouldn't throw bolts. Or so he assumed.

"Bastard!" He yelled, while tumbling into the headboard. "You fucked Lexa!"

"Jess- Damn it, Jess! Hold on!" Brennan had just ducked a fist he knew was meant to brake his nose. Adrenaline bubbled in his veins as he tried to focus, but due to anger ( and his raging erection), the very bull in him wanted blood. Still, the molecular flew at him, throwing and occasionally landing his punches. This wasn't the patient or practiced training they used on enemies. It was a pure, knock down, drag out brawl -which wouldn't be over till one was knocked out. "Damn!" The man yelled when another punch connected with his ribs. Jesse was starting to get ballsy- secretly the elemental was proud.

"You knew how I was about her!" He yelled between breaths. They were so tangled, that neither could really get loose. "You knew I loved her, and you took her to bed!"

"Jess- Shit! Jess, we stopped!"

"When I walked in!"

Brennan felt the bruise starting on his lower jaw. Dark eyes began to storm with anger. "Can't exactly play innocent. Can you?"

The molecular pulled back just to miss crashing into the night stand. "Shal kissed me to get back at you! That was all!"

"That was all!? I told you we were under cover! That thing with Lex and I just happened. But you chose to go after Shalimar !"

"Dude!" Jesse spat as he caught his breath. "She kissed me! All it did-"

Brennan pushed him into the wall, ready to land a massive fist in his face, his breathing was violently ragged as eyes narrowed on the very man he'd called a brother for the past three years. "And what? ALL IT DID WAS WHAT!?"

"All it did!" Jesse began. "Was make her understand what happened between you two." Finally, he'd been able to shake from Brennan's hold and move to the other side of the room. "Brennan, it made her feel guilty. She hated intentionally hurting you. But look where you are..."

"Dude, Lex and I just happened."

"Bullshit! You need to come up with better lines. Why don't you go ask Shall why we kissed? Hear it from her. Look into her eyes before telling her youwent after Lex -AGAIN!"

On the other side of the door, the brunette was somewhere between tears and disbelief. Hearing Jesse had loved her tore at the very part of her heart that had only been secured by Leo. Cracking the door, blue eyes caught the first instances of the men's aftermath. Both stood on opposite sides of the room. Jesse's expensive shirt and jacket ripped, while blood ran from his lip. Brennan was sparsely covered in bruises and also had blood on his lip. Between them , the bad she almost lost her soul in lay strewn with its ripped bedspread and sheets. Her head lowered at the disarray of it all.

Brennan wiped his lip absently while watching the blonde. Jesse had seemed to calm down, slowly taking in the war they started. His head rolled back in thought. "I knew you'd - freak out."

"Oh, you did." The elemental snapped.

"I did...It's why I tracked you down." He finally thought it safe to sit down and occupied the only functional piece of furniture left in the room. Brennan plopped onto a broken bed corner. "If this 'thing' that happened between you two...if its because of me and Shal..." Jesse tried to focus on his words. "Does Lexa know?"

Exhaling, the dark man leaned on his forearms. "It's...how we got here to begin with. She was hurt, but she tried to hide it."

Jesse could've asked why Brennan even told the woman. But he knew that misery loved company. Two people burned by two others they cared for. Damn, that sounded familiar. "I told Shal I'd bring you back, so you two could talk."

"What about Lex?" Brennan asked. Blankly, both men looked towards the door, knowing she could hear them.

Jesse's bitter streak got the better of him. "Brennan, do you even care about her?"

"Jess..."

"I mean at all? If you've had feelings for her all this time, I'll understand everything you've done. Just tell me this wasn't - physical." Running a hand through his hair, the man finally connected eyes with his brother. "Tell, me you weren't another Blake."

The large man leaned forward, resting elbows to knees. His very gesture said it all. Jesse needed to hear in out loud.

"Jess, Lex and I didn't set out to hurt you or Shalimar. And this goin' back and forth just ignited one thing after another-"

"That's not what I asked you. Do you have feelings for Lexa?"

Dark eyes regarded him with the very intensity signature to the man. "No. Not like I have for Shalimar."

"Then, what do you have? She had to mean something."

Brennan hated how his teammate could knowingly become annoying. Like a nagging wife, he'd pick at something till it sat exposed. "She...she does." The man replied. "But not what she means to you." Jesse looked away in attempt to stable himself. "This night never would have worked out, Jess. We wouldn't have- ended up- where we were headed. You know that."

"Yeah, I do." The molecular began. "And I know that you would lose it about anything over Shalimar."

Falling back on the crumpled mattress, the elemental's eyes rolled. "Now I have to figure out how to tell her."

"And survive." Jesse smirked. He'd made it across the room to knock on the bathroom door. A moment passed and nothing. "Lex?" he asked. It was too quiet, even for a woman used to the shadows. "Lexa." Finally, phasing through the door, he found the room empty. The adjacent door to another room sat wide open. Brennan watched as the man came back through. "She's gone."

There was something about the cold she loved. The fascination of it kept her supplying the Sanctuary freezer with popsicles and ordering drinks just to munch on the ice cubes.

Against the wind, the brunette cursed aspects of the life she lost when moving to the rock. In her earlier quests for Leo, she'd walked the city, lost in its very function till the process became necessity. Cool air would wrap her face, and while her body objected with the coat around her. She could almost smile into the night, wrapping in its naked blue. Suddenly she remembered her reason. The cold allowed her not to feel. It made every attempt to erase her broken heart.

But the rock had its aspects, though they only came if she could get past the feral on her nightly rounds. Out on the jagged strip of coast and granite cliffs, the air curled differently, with a renewed chill, bent on easing her pain. In her earlier avoidances of the team, she'd literally be out on the beach till morning. And though the water washed her footprints away a million times over, she could still feel the imprints on the curve of her heart. She was out of her space. The city was what she knew, comforting and all hers.

How she loved to be in it now.

She'd left just after Brennan admitted that his feelings for the feral were stronger that what he had for her. And even though it was obvious, the brunette found her own anger more so projected at herself. She'd gotten weak in the rock. Never before would she have apologized for Blake. Add Leo's death and she'd become down right dependent. It almost made her sick.

Looking down at her COMM link, she knew any minute, Jesse or Brennan would be on her trail. With simple ease it slipped into her pocket. All the woman wanted was to be alone in her world. The matter of dealing with them would come later, but for now it was just the concrete and streetlights. No one ever needs much to be happy.

For about an hour, she strolled the night, passing party goers and club hoppers. So quickly, she'd forgotten what a weekend could feel like. But that memory surfaced as well. Placing her, once again, in the dark and against the music with Brennan. It'd be easy to shake him if she understood the connection, but she didn't know what it was.

It definitely wasn't just physical. The very idea of him comparing his feelings for Shalimar to the ones he 'might' carry for her was insulting. Lexa never took kindly to being second. But this situation read like a book. Shalimar would be the one he'd follow, the one he'd protect and wait for- she'd be the one he'd marry. Jesse, again was perfect and wanting for herself to just open up. He'd always forgive, and find a positive in clinging to the very idea of 'them'. He'd love her with everything he had.

So, why couldn't she shake Brennan Mulwray? He wasn't exactly her destiny- was he? The very thought only made her walk faster, increasing the wind blowing past.

Suddenly, however. Lexa found herself thinking of their first teammate Emma. She'd came to Mutant X with Brennan and initially, they had the relationship. It made her snicker at the idea of Jesse stealing Sparky's girlfriend. But that wasn't possible. Every fiber of her being told that it was Shalimar who got in the way. Damn, she thought. They must have known the moment they met.

Connected people could experience those things, she learned it from the one she had to her twin. Long before truly knowing what Eckhart was doing to Leo, she could sense it. And no matter how often he denied the truth, his pain would flood her till tears. That feeling was all that kept her knowing he was alive the last five years. So, Brennan and Shalimar were nothing to unearth. More so, it made her question one thing? If his heart completely belonged to the feral, why was he reacting to her?

What she could also see that there was much more (sexual) tension between them. She (Lexa) must have represented some things-firsts- the feral had yet to experience with the man. Still. Just moments before, when she and the elemental had been entwined in one another, her mind could see Shalimar's face paling in realization of their 'union'. The brunette had been ready to either run away or follow through with Sparky, regardless of consequence. That scared the hell out of her.

Knowing those streets for so long, she found her way to a diner on the corner of a busy park. It was all the same, her little booth in the corner, with the same menu and the same imported coffee. From the window, she could see all in the world while staying completely still. Walking in, she took that very spot, shed her coat and quickly ordered a nightcap. There was no going back to Sanctuary, at least for the night.

"YOU BASTARD!" Shalimar yelled as she threw yet another glass in Brennan's direction. Jesse had long phased out of the kitchen, leaving the man to deal with the feral. "How can you say you almost slept with her? If Jesse didn't intrude, you wouldn't have stopped, and you know it!" Now a plate flew past, almost connecting with his ribs. "Bastard!"

Brennan knew that if she wanted to hit him, she would have. Her aim was much sharper. It had been a good hour since he and the molecular returned to Sanctuary, only to find her waiting up. His admission broke her heart worse than anything the man had ever seen. "Y'know." Shalimar started. "I almost wish you had slept together. Then, you wouldn't be my problem, she wouldn't keep hurting Jess, and it won't be in the back of my mind that you 'could' go back to HER!"

"Shal, I'm sorry. I thought you and Jess were together. I saw you kiss him for Christ's sake!"

"You should know better, Brennan." The woman continued. "I'd really make an advance on the man I consider a brother. Really!" Another dish desperately wanted to fly at him, but the woman's arm was starting to shake. Shalimar wanted to hate him. Anything that could make her forget how handsome he was or his embrace was worth the bloodshed. But as the plate fell to the counter, her eyes couldn't hold back anymore. Somewhere deep in contempt for the man she loved, the woman blamed herself. "Was it enough Brennan? Was that one kiss enough for you to go to bed...with her?"

He knew he could ask her the same thing. But being a smart ass was the last thing they needed. Never in those last three years had he seen Shalimar crumble like she did that night. "I just wanted to forget, Shal..." He replied, surprised at how shaky his own voice had become. "I just wanted to erase you and... my 'brother'." It wasn't that she had kissed him, but how. Brennan saw the woman grab Jesse with everything she had. Fake or real, that wasn't a kiss brothers and sisters share-at least, not normal ones. "At first, it wasn't enough...but as I thought about it...." Defeated, his head lowered. "I don't know what to say."

Shalimar hated her feral senses right then. Even now, she could smell Lexa's scent on the man. Even the heat they shared wafted into her nostrils. It had never been like this with the others. Now, Brennan some how seemed-used. And no one liked hand-me downs. Still, the blonde's heart screamed at her, saying "You started it! You just had to kiss Jesse.! Retaliation did only work, when one could get to the person's center. How else could you crush someone than by destroying their trust?

But that was something that Brennan and not even Lexa (though portraying to be) ever set out to do. They never wanted truly hurt Shalimar and Jesse. Hell, they'd both been injured themselves. Watching the man lean against the doorframe, Shalimar turned away, unable to hold back tears. "I'm just tired, Brennan. I'm so damned tired..." He moved towards her, but she stopped. "No...I just can't be near you right now."

That flooded his brain with the aftermath of Leo's death and how Lexa broke down. That kind of hurt seeped into everyone it touched. "Shal, I'm sorry." He said. Somehow, 'I love you' seemed a little too cheap right then. "You know where I am."

Strangely, she found comfort that he was there in the rock. "I know."

Like any woman, she waited till he was gone to really break down. Leaning on the counter, her body shuddered in nearly uncontrollable sobs. Soon, large hands were gripping her shoulders, steadying her against his frame. Unable to fight back, the blonde let go, crying into his chest. "I knew you wouldn't leave me..." She managed.

Folding the woman in, Brennan lowered his head onto hers. "I couldn't leave you." He managed. Guiding her to the floor, he let the feral cry till she fell asleep. All the while, being torn. Somehow, he and Shalimar would survive, but what would he do about Lexa? Standing silently in the doorway, Jesse wondered the same exact thing.