NOT FADE AWAY
Disclaimer: M-X, Don't Own Them. Enjoy!
Hello! Now, as a S/B and a J/L fan, this story was a 'test' to see how far I could push those as loyal as myself. It was good to see that you guys at least had questions about 'directions' we'd all rather the show not go in. It's been interesting writing this piece - and scratching a few nerves, But, alas, I'm not that mean ;p , so hear is a chapter for all those especially loving Jesse - and some redemption for the feral! Enjoy!
MADE OF STONE
She knew he was watching.
Wrapped up amongst the dark sheets, Shalimar lay still, waiting for the presence in her doorway to act. So often he'd just enter, curl beside her and talk till they gave in to sleep. That was before his 'mistake'. Light brown orbs searched the darkness for answers while listening to him shift in the doorframe. Weak, she thought. Why was I so 'weak' with him? And it was true. This one person touched buttons, and provoked cave ins not possible by any other. It was always true that women fell for 'difficult' men - she was no exception. And that she hated.
Damn! She thought. Why'd I have to fall for Brennan Mulwray?
Somehow, her anger was more so self- directed. That breakdown in the kitchen days before had not been because of his actions, but her reactions. The stress of dealing with him had found a way to suffocate her very being. No, she hadn't cried for him hurting her (And it did hurt!). Shalimar cried because she was disappointed in herself. For once, neither feral nor human could hold on to its insatiable pride and walk away with intact walls. Instead, she sank to the floor, finding refuge in the very arms that hours before were wrapped around her teammate. Her tears stained a shirt laced with the woman's expensive perfume, and her nails gripped for dear life into the flesh of the man she (Shalimar) loved - the man who'd all but gotten inside that damned woman.
She was disgusted with herself.
But like love and hate, strength and weakness brought their own strange balance. The days that followed lead to serious conversations on both the feral and Brennan's behalf. Slowly, expectation and assumption gave way to the insecurities that separated man and woman for three years. There was always a reason, an excuse, or someone else to keep one from facing the other- emotionally. And that SO went against her feral nature. Somehow, she knew that Brennan loved her -and she loved him. Yet, this 'attraction' to Lexa (of all people) wasn't something so easily defined as physical. Still, it wasn't love either, which brought some ease.
They shared an understanding. Shalimar could see it at times and though she also came from a hard life, there was an awareness that connected Brennan to Lexa. It had been there when he followed her in searching for Leo and there when she chose to save the elemental over her own brother. Somehow loss and survival made them -close. But Shalimar could have never expected how much.
He mumbled something under his breath before finally leaving her doorway. She didn't move. And though her entire being craved his hold right then, her heart and head finally sat with common knowledge. Brennan would have to fight his way back to her.
That was something he knew all too well.
Striding into the center of the hall, travel halted when seeing Jesse move towards him. The molecular was tired and it showed. All this time, he'd nearly slept at the computers, trying to figure someway to track Lexa down. His entire frame drooped with weariness, making the elemental not even want to tell him the truth. In his mind, he knew he never should have let her leave.
"Jess." He started. "...You look beat."
"Yeah, I just got a hit off Lex's COMM Link-"
"Yeah...you just missed her." Brennan could see that his knowledge of the fact cast a knowing inquiry in Jesse's eyes. The elemental cut to the chase, before his teammate could start. "She's gone, Jess...She left Mutant X."
The molecular crossed his arms as the azure eyes narrowed to slits. "What do you mean gone?"
"Gone as in she left." The darker man replied. "She left the team 'cause of me - and you."
The blonde ran a hand through his hair, trying to process the information. "It hasn't been t long. She couldn't have gotten far..."
"Jess! She doesn't want to be found." Brennan replied while grabbing the man's arms. The molecular snatched away quickly, eyeing his 'brother' with disgust.
"I just bet you know what she wants, right? You always seem to know just what a woman wants, Brennan!"
"Jess..." His voice was calm. "I tried to stop her. I told her you needed to talk. I even blocked her from getting in the car!"
"Wonder how hard that was for you?"
It became obvious that he nor Shalimar would hear of that last kiss. "Dude, she didn't want to stay when it was clear how much you were hurt. Lex never had to be 'responsible' for anyone like that. She figured you were better of without her-"
"No, she figured YOU were better off without her AROUND." He replied. "That way, all your attention could be on Shalimar. Shit Brennan!"
The elemental crossed his arms while watching his brother. "She left because she loves you." The molecular's head rose at that. "She doesn't know how to handle that. Why be around someone when their better off without you?"
"Because she's scared, Brennan! No one has ever been around long enough to stop her from detaching. All that ice and ego is a front -just like you. You didn't pay attention 'cause you were too busy-"
"Jess, I can tell you this, dealing with someone 'good' when your life's been full of ass holes is a hard thing to do. And no matter how much you're attracted to them or are concerned about them, in the back of your mind, you KNOW they're gonna hurt you. In that life, its best to do the hurting." Brennan could see the understanding in his brother's eyes. The defensiveness eased from Jesse's shoulders, making the man lean into a nearby wall. "It's a hard thing to unlearn."
"You know a little too well."
Looking at Shalimar's door, Brennan drifted for the moment. "Yeah...You look beat. Get some sleep. Can't go looking for her when you can't drive." The elemental walked away finally understanding two things. One was that he and Shalimar would some how have a chance. The other was that the garage had been a last stand for Lexa. Her kiss wasn't one to pull him in. She was saying good -bye to any possibility they'd ever thought of. The woman knew he'd step aside to let her leave, and with it, take any desire of them being together. She cared enough to walk away so he could be with the woman he loved and 'she' lay sleeping across the hall. He knew the hurt was never intentional, more importantly Jesse ( and eventually Shalimar) would as well.
"Brennan?" The molecular interrupted for a second time.
"Get some sleep dude." The man grinned handsomely. "You look like shit."
Jesse waited till the elemental was in his room before finally going into his own. Falling onto the bed, he grinned into the pillow like a lunatic. What were a few hours when the rest of his life lay ahead? Closing his eyes, the man settled himself into finding the woman he loved. And unlike Brennan, he knew just where to start.
Disclaimer: M-X, Don't Own Them. Enjoy!
Hello! Now, as a S/B and a J/L fan, this story was a 'test' to see how far I could push those as loyal as myself. It was good to see that you guys at least had questions about 'directions' we'd all rather the show not go in. It's been interesting writing this piece - and scratching a few nerves, But, alas, I'm not that mean ;p , so hear is a chapter for all those especially loving Jesse - and some redemption for the feral! Enjoy!
MADE OF STONE
She knew he was watching.
Wrapped up amongst the dark sheets, Shalimar lay still, waiting for the presence in her doorway to act. So often he'd just enter, curl beside her and talk till they gave in to sleep. That was before his 'mistake'. Light brown orbs searched the darkness for answers while listening to him shift in the doorframe. Weak, she thought. Why was I so 'weak' with him? And it was true. This one person touched buttons, and provoked cave ins not possible by any other. It was always true that women fell for 'difficult' men - she was no exception. And that she hated.
Damn! She thought. Why'd I have to fall for Brennan Mulwray?
Somehow, her anger was more so self- directed. That breakdown in the kitchen days before had not been because of his actions, but her reactions. The stress of dealing with him had found a way to suffocate her very being. No, she hadn't cried for him hurting her (And it did hurt!). Shalimar cried because she was disappointed in herself. For once, neither feral nor human could hold on to its insatiable pride and walk away with intact walls. Instead, she sank to the floor, finding refuge in the very arms that hours before were wrapped around her teammate. Her tears stained a shirt laced with the woman's expensive perfume, and her nails gripped for dear life into the flesh of the man she (Shalimar) loved - the man who'd all but gotten inside that damned woman.
She was disgusted with herself.
But like love and hate, strength and weakness brought their own strange balance. The days that followed lead to serious conversations on both the feral and Brennan's behalf. Slowly, expectation and assumption gave way to the insecurities that separated man and woman for three years. There was always a reason, an excuse, or someone else to keep one from facing the other- emotionally. And that SO went against her feral nature. Somehow, she knew that Brennan loved her -and she loved him. Yet, this 'attraction' to Lexa (of all people) wasn't something so easily defined as physical. Still, it wasn't love either, which brought some ease.
They shared an understanding. Shalimar could see it at times and though she also came from a hard life, there was an awareness that connected Brennan to Lexa. It had been there when he followed her in searching for Leo and there when she chose to save the elemental over her own brother. Somehow loss and survival made them -close. But Shalimar could have never expected how much.
He mumbled something under his breath before finally leaving her doorway. She didn't move. And though her entire being craved his hold right then, her heart and head finally sat with common knowledge. Brennan would have to fight his way back to her.
That was something he knew all too well.
Striding into the center of the hall, travel halted when seeing Jesse move towards him. The molecular was tired and it showed. All this time, he'd nearly slept at the computers, trying to figure someway to track Lexa down. His entire frame drooped with weariness, making the elemental not even want to tell him the truth. In his mind, he knew he never should have let her leave.
"Jess." He started. "...You look beat."
"Yeah, I just got a hit off Lex's COMM Link-"
"Yeah...you just missed her." Brennan could see that his knowledge of the fact cast a knowing inquiry in Jesse's eyes. The elemental cut to the chase, before his teammate could start. "She's gone, Jess...She left Mutant X."
The molecular crossed his arms as the azure eyes narrowed to slits. "What do you mean gone?"
"Gone as in she left." The darker man replied. "She left the team 'cause of me - and you."
The blonde ran a hand through his hair, trying to process the information. "It hasn't been t long. She couldn't have gotten far..."
"Jess! She doesn't want to be found." Brennan replied while grabbing the man's arms. The molecular snatched away quickly, eyeing his 'brother' with disgust.
"I just bet you know what she wants, right? You always seem to know just what a woman wants, Brennan!"
"Jess..." His voice was calm. "I tried to stop her. I told her you needed to talk. I even blocked her from getting in the car!"
"Wonder how hard that was for you?"
It became obvious that he nor Shalimar would hear of that last kiss. "Dude, she didn't want to stay when it was clear how much you were hurt. Lex never had to be 'responsible' for anyone like that. She figured you were better of without her-"
"No, she figured YOU were better off without her AROUND." He replied. "That way, all your attention could be on Shalimar. Shit Brennan!"
The elemental crossed his arms while watching his brother. "She left because she loves you." The molecular's head rose at that. "She doesn't know how to handle that. Why be around someone when their better off without you?"
"Because she's scared, Brennan! No one has ever been around long enough to stop her from detaching. All that ice and ego is a front -just like you. You didn't pay attention 'cause you were too busy-"
"Jess, I can tell you this, dealing with someone 'good' when your life's been full of ass holes is a hard thing to do. And no matter how much you're attracted to them or are concerned about them, in the back of your mind, you KNOW they're gonna hurt you. In that life, its best to do the hurting." Brennan could see the understanding in his brother's eyes. The defensiveness eased from Jesse's shoulders, making the man lean into a nearby wall. "It's a hard thing to unlearn."
"You know a little too well."
Looking at Shalimar's door, Brennan drifted for the moment. "Yeah...You look beat. Get some sleep. Can't go looking for her when you can't drive." The elemental walked away finally understanding two things. One was that he and Shalimar would some how have a chance. The other was that the garage had been a last stand for Lexa. Her kiss wasn't one to pull him in. She was saying good -bye to any possibility they'd ever thought of. The woman knew he'd step aside to let her leave, and with it, take any desire of them being together. She cared enough to walk away so he could be with the woman he loved and 'she' lay sleeping across the hall. He knew the hurt was never intentional, more importantly Jesse ( and eventually Shalimar) would as well.
"Brennan?" The molecular interrupted for a second time.
"Get some sleep dude." The man grinned handsomely. "You look like shit."
Jesse waited till the elemental was in his room before finally going into his own. Falling onto the bed, he grinned into the pillow like a lunatic. What were a few hours when the rest of his life lay ahead? Closing his eyes, the man settled himself into finding the woman he loved. And unlike Brennan, he knew just where to start.
