Disclaimer see Chapter 1

Samantha sits in her car, hand on the steering wheel .She has nothing to go home to except an empty apartment. The sudden free day presents her with a challenge. What to do with herself for an entire afternoon and evening? Practical thought wins at first and she makes her way downtown to run some errands that she had planned on taking care of on Sunday. But by the time she finishes, it's still too early to go home. She is envious of all the people who are still at work, their mind occupied. Most of them probably want to be rather home with their families than at work right now. She decides to go and see a movie and half an hour later she is ready to enjoy two hours of oblivion bought for $8. Not a bad deal.

The next day she decides to tackle all the household tasks that she has been putting off. By late afternoon even her windows are streak less and spotless. There is really nothing else to do. Her flight is booked, as is her rental car. All taken care of by the FBI. All she has to do is attend the seminar and hope that nobody there comes to the conclusion that she doesn't belong in the field after all. This is what she fears most, . It's the fact that she would have to acknowledge the impact that Barry Mashburn in his madness had on her life is not something she can just forget about and that a scar on her leg may not be the only memento. Hopefully there won't be too many tactical exercises. She has been slacking lately with regard to working out. For months, the recurring pain from the gunshot wound prevented her from doing any strenuous exercise and after that she never really picked it up again. It was just one thing, one more thing, when she was honest that she had led slide lately. Somehow, unnoticed and silently her personal life had started to fade away. The evening at after-work clubs, the night in bars, the drinks and the dates had become infrequent and then they had disappeared altogether after she had been shot. The process had begun long before Barry Mashburn had fired her gun, but somehow the wound in her leg had left one in her life as well. One FBI confidence seminar wasn't going to change that her make her feel better about it. All it had done so far, and it hadn't even started yet, was putting her in a bad mood, pondering the shortcomings of her personal life. Great, she thinks to herself, I wonder what Lisa would think about my negative attitude. She would probably think it was normal, or even if she did think something else she would hide it well from her. Samantha sighs. This kind of thinking isn't going anywhere, she needs to do something else.

She wonders what kind of agents she's going to meet there. Did everyone get send their be their supervisors? Probably not, but she is hardly going to be the only one who doesn't enjoy team seminars or confidence training. At least it's not a defence seminar. She can feel her sore muscles at the very memory.

Still, that seminar was very enjoyable. But not for the training. It was where she and Jack met for the first time. She had been fresh out of Quantico and her supervisory agents at the narcotics unit she had been assigned to had sent her away on a one week defence class after only a month on the job. She had travelled there with a similar relevance. She had seen sit as a sign that her field ability was in doubt and that her boss thought she wasn't good enough. It was ironic how, six years later she was in exactly the same spot. Sure, she had climbed up the career ladder and made it into a high profile unit, a position most agents her age could only dream of. But her personal life had been frozen, put on hold. There had been dates and some of them had been followed by sex, there had even been bittersweet love, but never a relationship. Work was the core her life revolved around. She laid back on the bed, indulging in the memories of the defence seminar six years ago. She hadn't noticed Jack during the lectures that had taken up the first day, but when the time had come for practical exercises, she had been partnered with him. At first she had been sceptical. The exercises involved one of them playing a suspected resisting arrest and attempting to wound the agent with a knife. She had not paid much attention when the demonstrator had shown the group several tactics for handling the situation and now she was faced with the prospect that a man considerably taller and heavier than her might wrestle her to the ground. Needless to say, she had not liked the idea at all. Of course, it was her turn to play criminal first. At least all that time spent running paid off at that moment, she got a good job at stabbing the other agent with the dummy knife, while he is trying to throw her to the ground.

"You should have disarmed me first." she said with a smile. He returned the smile and sat up.

"Sorry for landing on you like that. Poor tactics."

"At least you got me pinned down."

"I'm Jack." he introduced himself.

"Samantha" she smiled again. Something about him made her smile. It was something that extended beyond physical attraction. Something that she had never been able to put her finger on. They had not only partnered up for this exercise but for numerous others during the seminar. The attraction had been obvious to both of them, but considering the time and environment they were in, neither of them had mentioned or much less acted upon it. Thinking back to herself had that time, fresh out of the academy, she had been much less confident around me. Her disastrous marriage was still fresh on her mind and the fact that Jack was a good fifteen years older had scared her. Then about a year after their first meeting, they had worked together for the first time, when their units worked on a common case. Jack had obviously been impressed by her professional abilities and he had later on recruited her for the missing persons unit. From then on, the dangerous gamble had started. Glances had turned into looks, subtle touches had turned into hugs, and dinners together had not ended at the front there anymore and soon after that, even the bedroom door had not posed an obstacle anymore. But the rules and regulation and the fact that jack was married and father of two had gotten into the way and they had ended their relationship. Or so it should be. Her feelings still refused to cooperated even when he told her it was over, and when he had risked his life to save hers, confusion had resulted. Right now, the only feeling she can muster toward jack is anger and disappointment, with a hint of sadness.