Chapter 2: A Love Song

So maybe things weren't going as planned and she was going to great extremes to avoid him the rest of the day. So what? At least she knew he existed. It even made up for the imprint of the potions textbook (Potions: You Are Not Worthy) on his forehead (but Draco preferred to think of it as a love mark). It just showed that she was feisty out of bed. What a witch!

"I will serenade her with my deep baritone voice at dinner," Draco pondered out loud. "Or perhaps, I can surreptitiously send her gifts through owl. Ah, I know--I can take her out to the lake and show her some of my -erotic- dance moves." He grabbed his groin and thrusted towards the full length mirror.

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" Goyle asked from his bed. "Because I really don't need to be seeing this. There's a bathroom, you know."

"I'm a sexy beast, aren't I?"

Pause. "You don't look like an animal."

"Metaphorically speaking, dimwit," said Draco, -still- thrusting at the mirror.

"You need hair. A lot more hair."

"You need to shut the door if you're going to be doing stuff like -that-!" Blaise Zabini said as he walked into the room. "People can see you! You scared two first-years away, Draco. We really don't need to see you masturb--"

"I am NOT mast--" Draco abruptly stopped in mid-thrust. "Say, Zabini--do -you- think I look like a sexy beast?"

Blaise looked down the end of his nose at Draco. "You look like a mad man. A filthy mad man infatuated with himself and intent on redefining narcissism."

"Do you suppose Granger likes blonds?"

"-Granger-?" Blaise repeated incredulously. "What does that Mudblood have to do with anything? Are you telling me that you actually -fancy- that fuzzball?"

"She's -my- fuzzball!"

"Merlin, you... you.. and GRANGER?" Blaise looked disgusted. "It's like me mating with..." He looked around for help.

"A walrus?" supplied Crabbe helpfully.

"Yes, that's it," Blaise continued, pointing a finger at Crabbe, "a walrus and I. It's hideous. It's bestiality for crying out loud. It's just -wrong-, Draco."

Draco sighed. Of course Blaise wouldn't understand him. Nobody understood him--they were too inferior and close-minded to understand his views. "But I plan to override her DNA with mine and we will produce the perfect children."

Blaise snorted at the sheer idiocy of it. "It'd be easier to clone yourself."

"You're just jealous--"

"Of -what-? -You-?" He laughed and slowly edged out of the room. "Never, Draco. But go ahead. Go mate with the Mudblood. Go make a fool of yourself. And when this is over, you can't say Blaise Zabini never warned you." He cackled. "I can't wait to tell -Pansy- about your new love interest. I'm sure she will be delighted."

Draco shrugged and returned to his mirror. Zabini could say what he wanted--Draco knew the truth.

"I am a sexy beast. Rawr."

-----

"IS THIS TRUE?" Pansy shrilled the moment Draco stepped into the Great Hall.

"Is what true?" Inspecting his robes for lint, he ignored the girl.

"That...that... YOU LOVE MUDBLOOD?"

Draco shook his head, sighing. "No. I only lust after her." He patted her head.

"..."

"Now I must be going to serenade my Lady Lust," he said as he went in search of Granger.

Pansy continued to stand there. He..."lusted" after Granger? She briefly wondered if it meant that Granger was going to replace her, or if it was a one time thing. And then she remembered that he was going to sing. Dear Merlin save them all, she thought as she ran out of the Great Hall.

-----

There she was, Draco thought, spotting the unmistakable frizz of hair at the Gryffindor table. He slowly advanced towards the table with a wide grin on his face.

-----

"Why is Malfoy coming this way?" Ron asked, spying the blond making his way over to them with a diabolical expression on his face.

"I dunno..." Harry said. "But it can't be good." He pulled out his wand and gestured for Ron to do the same.

"We can't do anything in the Great Hall!" warned Hermione, grabbing the boys' wands. "Dumbledore is here to protect us. And Malfoy is going to get into a lot of trouble if he tries anything funny. Let's not provoke him."

"Yea, sure, and maybe he'll go away." Ron rolled his eyes, but waited for Malfoy to come.

------

"I dedicate this song to you, Granger," Draco said, bowing.

Granger blinked once, twice, thrice. "Pardon...?"

Pulling out his wand, Draco smiled and said, "Sonorus!"

"This can't be good. Not good at all," Potter repeated to himself.

"YOUUUUU--"

Immediately there were groans and shrieks from the other students as they scrambled to leave the hall.

"AND IIIIIIIII"

"STOP HIM!" someone yelled.

"BB---"

"SILENCIO!" Granger pointed her wand at Draco and he instantly became quiet.

Weasely rubbed his ears. "-That- was the worst noise I've ever heard. Are you tone deaf, Malfoy? Your singing stinks!"

Draco glared at the trio. How could they interrupt his love song? Did they not hear his beautiful baritone voice? Did they not see his sexy beast appeal? Apparently they were blind -and- tone deaf!

"You're awful, Malfoy. Go away and when we finish our dinners, we will reverse the spell," Granger said. "But only if you promise to never sing again."

Well, at least she was talking to him. Was lust worth all this? Draco sure hoped so.

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AN: 3.3o.o4 - Long time no update, hm? (Wow, understatement of the month). For those interested in the fates of my other works, please see my profile. And please remember this is plotless and vapid. Quite pointless actually. Ciao.