Tifa's Complaints. A really retarded poem a wrote with the five minute break between my classes. It's really stupid, so don't yell at me. -Jynell

My name is Tifa, I know, I know, I eat my food on a stick., I date every guy that's asked me out, And the last one was a prick..

His name was Seymour Guado, And his hair was pointy and blue, But when we had sex for the first time, He had given me the flu.

And now I'm sick and dying, My hair is falling out, My skin is turning scaly, And my foot is full of gout.

Cloud had told me he noticed, That my eyes are all watery, He said he'd pay for my medical funds, Once he's won the lottery.

Sephiroth came to visit, He just came to say hi, He was all sweet and nice, Only cuz I was going to die.

Oh I'm getting worse, I'm now as fat as a moose Someone get me a gun, And get me a splintery noose.

One boob is bigger than the other, There's a wart on my hand, My name is Tifa Lockheart, But now I'm Barbara Streisand.