- Of Truth And Fiction -
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda or any of the characters from Zelda games.
HOWEVER MY characters belong to ME!! So, no stealing! I also HIGHLY suggest
you read my profile page first so that you get the idea of whom my
characters are or you might get a bit confused. I will add more character
profiles when they are introduced for the first time. Altogether there are
five of my main characters (not all introduced at once by the way) and the
rest of the Zelda cast.
Okay, enough with my lecture, onto the story!
*************
~In the Kingdom Of Laifeille...~(yes, if you read my character profiles you should know what I'm going on about)
Freya: *runs into room * *gasps* MOMMA!! Are you going to be ok?!
Queen: *lying on bed* ^-^ o-of course *cough cough* ...
Freya: WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?
Queen: Freya...I'm not –
Freya: Grrrrrr! They held a gun to you am I correct? Or a sword? Or a pitchfork? OR, OR A TON OF KNIVES!!?
Queen: Urm...Freya, dear I have a cold I haven't been stabbed ...* thinking* overreacts to everything...
Freya: *clasps hands together * what can I do to help you momma? Anything! You name it! Oooo! I know! I'll get you some medicine! -^-^-
Queen: Uh, Freya, its better if you don't, remember, you don't have any sense of direct –
Freya: DON'T WORRY MOMMA!!! I'LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT! *Runs out of the room *
Queen: I'm doomed...
~ In Hyrule ~
Ganondorf: *sitting in room in Gerudo valley* what evil should I bring about today?
Koume: oo! Ganondorf, you should teach that kid Link a lesson!
Kotake: YES! Go over to his house right now and show him who's boss!
Ganondorf: *sweatdrop* *gets out stuffed Gannon toy* *Talks to the toy* How about a picnic Ganny?
Koume and Kotake: ...¬¬
Tadashi: *comes bursting through wall * FREYA!!!!
Ganondorf, Koume and Kotake: *looking at Tadashi *...
Tadashi: *looks around * huh? Oh! *Scritches head* sorry bout the wall!! * Gets out super glue and picks up a chunk of rock* please stick back on...*tries to stick rock back on but ends up breaking the whole wall * *starts waving arms around*AHHH! I'M SORRY! I CAN FIX IT!! I CAN I –
Ganondorf: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?
Koume: Looks like Link.
Kotake: Yeah, same hair. Better clothes.
Tadashi: *still waving arms around franticly* I'M SORRY SIR!! I'LL EVEN PAY FOR REPAIRS!!
Ganondorf: You have money?
Tadashi: *nods head*
Ganondorf: *gets out table* lets talk.
Koume: First of all, whats your name?
Tadashi: My names Tadashi, uh ...Sir.
Koume: * hits him over the head with her broom* #! I'M A WOMAN!
Tadashi: *holding head * yowch! S-sorry... ma'am!
Koume: That's better. Secondly...why are you here?
Tadashi: I'm looking for Princess Freya! Have you seen her?
Kotake: *whispers to Ganondorf* this boy is obviously senile.
Ganondorf: Are you insane boy?
Tadashi: no sir.
Koume: At least he's polite even if he is crazy.
Tadashi: I'M NOT CRAZY!
Ganondorf: *looks at Tadashi's sword* You fight?
Tadashi: huh? *looks at his back* oh yeah! I forgot about that! Ha ha ha! ^- ^;
Koume and Kotake: *thinking * oh god...
Ganondorf: Yes, well I think I might know where your princess is...
Koume and Kotake: WHAT?!
Ganondorf: * grabs Koume and Kotake*
Koume and Kotake: YAHHHH!!!
Ganondorf: *whispers* Just play along. This way we can get rid of Link AND get loads of money at the same time! MWHEHEH! *Evil smile*
Koume and Kotake: oohh! Ganny you're so evil! * They don't get it*
Tadashi: YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS!? *Grabs Ganondorf's cloak* Please tell me!
Ganondorf: ...*gives him weirdo looks* *pulls cloak away* HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE!! Anyway...an evil villain named Link has... uh kidnapped her. *Fake concern* Oh the tragedy!
Tadashi: WHAT!? HE KIDNAPPED FREYA!?
Ganondorf: Yes, he looks like a garden gnome and lives in a shabby tree house in the forest. He likes women so...he probably kidnapped your girlfriend to hec hem satisfy his own urges.
Tadashi: * blushes* uh no...Freya's not my...*blushes insanely* WAIT- HE, HES BEEN DOING... THAT WITH HER!? YOU'VE GOTTA TELL ME WHERE HE IS!
Ganondorf: *hits him over the head with Kotake's broom* Haven't you been paying attention?! He lives in the forest with a white light bulb called Navi.
Tadashi: *Tilts head* light bulb?
Ganondorf: Yes, well he needs company. He lives by himself so a light bulb is all he has.
Tadashi: * sad face*
Ganondorf: WHAT NOW!?
Tadashi: *looks up* now I kinda feel sorry for him...
Ganondorf: *slaps head*Arghhh... Remember, he's doing naughty things with your potential girlfriend...
Tadashi: *Is extremely angry* I'LL KILL HIM!!
Ganondorf: *smug smile* Now...didn't you have to pay me back for all the damage you caused? * Puts out hand*
Tadashi: * pulls out empty pockets* *sweatdrop* Urm...thanks for the info! ^- ^ RUN! * Runs out*
Ganondorf: *still smiling and has hand out* ...
Koume and Kotake: Looks like we're not getting any money...Ganondorf's just in denial now...
Ganondorf: ... THE DAMN KID DID'NT PAY ME!! DOESN'T HE KNOW WHO I AM!?
Koume: Doubt it. He seemed a bit out of it to me.
Ganondorf: GRRRRRRR!!!! I WANTED THE MONEY!!!
Koume and Kotake: oh, and, Ganondorf, why do you change the subject when we ask YOU to kill Link?
Ganondorf: * sweatdrop* * gets out organ* * starts playing his song on it* can't you two see I'm busy? Stop asking irritating questions!
Koume and Kotake: ...¬¬
~ In Kokiri Forest ~
Tadashi: WHERE ARE YOU, YOU B******!?
Random Kokiri: * hits him with deku stick* NO SWEARING!
Tadashi: WHY IS EVERYONE HITTING ME ALL OF A SUDDEN!?
(Loreille: Because you're an idiot)
Tadashi: * grasps head* NOW I'M HEARING VOICES!! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOPPPPP!!
Link: Hi there! Are you... in need of help?
Tadashi: * looks up at Link* YOU!
Link: moi?
Tadashi: Gimme back FREYA!!!
Link: who is Freya?
Tadashi: You should know you pervert! How dare you do such things to an innocent princess!
Link: * is highly confused*
Tadashi: *Takes out sword* You will die for your vile sins villain! I demand you to release Freya this instant!
Link: h-huh?!
Tadashi: * swings sword* opps! -_-;
Link: * looks to his side* you...completely missed me! ...And cut a tree...poor tree...*uses song of healing* Does that feel better little tree?
Tadashi: *swings sword 180 degrees* HYAAA! -_-;; whoops
Link: GAHHHH! YOU CUT NAVI! *Shakes Tadashi's hand* Thank you so much!!
Tadashi: * shocked* uh...your welcome...I guess...WAIT! *snaps out of handshake* GIVE ME FREYA YOU FIEND!
Link: WHO THE HELL IS FREYA!? AND WHY DO YOU SUSPECT ME OF TAKING HER!?
Tadashi: Don't play innocent with me villain! Some guy with two women who looked like creepy old guys, told me ALL about you!
Link: *pondering* creepy old dudes... OHHH! GANONDORF! WHY DID YOU TALK TO HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!? Actually...come to think of it...WHO ARE YOU?
Tadashi: DON'T TRY TO MANIPULATE ME! *Slashes at Link...but drops his sword* -_-# damn sword...
Link: I suggest that you find a weapon more suited for your * cough* standard. I recommend...the...crappy, useless, does absolutely no damage what so ever, plastic toy sword! * Holds it up* *der ner NER NER! *
Girls Voice: AIYAAAA!!! HELP!!
Link and Tadashi: huh?! * they run into Lost Woods*
Girls Voice: PLEASE HELP!!
Tadashi: Why are you running to help? You're the villain aren't you?
Link: W-WHA!? NO WAY! DO I LOOK LIKE IT!?
Tadashi: Well, the dress is rather suspicious...
Link: It's a tunic! Not a dress!
Tadashi: Still looks pretty wimpy if you ask me...
Girl's voice: hello? If you hadn't noticed I'm in need of serious help over here!
Tadashi: *looks around* huh?! Freya! He didn't rape you after all! ^-^
Link: We went through all this...AND NOW YOUR ALL CALM ABOUT IT!?
Tadashi: Yup!
Link: ¬¬ ....
Freya: * caught up in a skulltulas web* Need help, need help, Hello? I NEED HELP!
Tadashi: oh right! SORRY! * tries to cut her free with toy sword* WHAT THE-
Link: * Cuts Freya free with master sword* are you okay?
Tadashi: *still hacking away at the web* damn it....
Link: You can quit it now Tadashi, she's free so-
Tadashi: Stop talking! I've almost cut it!
Link: OOOkkay....
Freya: Thanks for rescuing me I am in your debt! Bye now! * Starts walking away*
Tadashi: FREYA! I CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR YOU AND NOW YOUR JUST WALKING AWAY!?
Freya: Yes ^-^ See you. *Starts walking briskly*
Link: Hey... uh you guys are not from around here are you?
Freya: Oh! *Turns around* I'm terribly sorry! I forgot to introduce ones self ^-^! Hec hem, I am the wonderfully gracious, beautiful, intelligent, polite, ever amazing, completely enchanting princess of Laifeille. Oh, yeah and this is Tadashi.
Tadashi: * unenthusiastically* Howdy.
Link: *sighs* anyways its nice to meet you both, but Tadashi, what Ganondorf told you was a lie. You shouldn't trust that guy.
Tadashi: But Freya was in trouble! I had to find her!
Freya: -^-^- Cookie?
Tadashi: * shakes head* No thanks, besides I don't know anyone apart from you here...
Link: Ohhhhh! I get it!
Tadashi: You do? Oh good!
Link: You have social issues right? Ah don't worry! If you got clothes as good as mine, I bet that would boost your self-esteem right through the roof!
Tadashi: No that's not what I-
Link: Come, we shall go meet people! *Pulls him along*
Tadashi: Wahhh!! Uh Freya...you coming?
Freya: Yes, I am Tadashi!
Tadashi: Then why are heading towards the Deku Tree?
Freya: Oh my! So I am!
Link: This could be a loooongg story...
~ Briefly back to Ganondorf ~
Ganondorf: See Ganny? I invited miss. Peach doll and mr. Keaton Doll to come to our tea party too! * Pushes Gannon toy*
Ganny: *squeak*
Koume: Ganondorf...what are you doing?
Ganondorf: uh...hec hem I'm just uh plotting out our next attack on Link! *Takes Gannon toy and hits the Keaton doll with it* HA! TAKE THAT HERO OF TIME!
Koume: Good. I'm glad to see your using your time wisely. *Leaves room*
Ganondorf: *picks up Keaton doll and hugs it * I'm sorry little Keaton. Ganondorf never meant to hurt poor ickle you!
Kotake: *looking through keyhole* He worries me.
Koume: Yeah, ever since he was released from the sacred realm he's been a bit...traumatized...
Ganondorf: * hugs the Gannon doll* who loves you? I love you!
Ganny: *squeak*
Koume and Kotake: ...... maybe... we should just leave him for now...
~ Chapter 1 End ~
Phew! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! My other characters will be introduced shortly! Please review, but no flames please. Suggestions are fine but no flaming! Oh yeah, thank you Linda Of Lorule for correcting me on the spelling of "Ganondorf"! Okay, until the next chapter bye bye! -^-^-
*************
~In the Kingdom Of Laifeille...~(yes, if you read my character profiles you should know what I'm going on about)
Freya: *runs into room * *gasps* MOMMA!! Are you going to be ok?!
Queen: *lying on bed* ^-^ o-of course *cough cough* ...
Freya: WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?
Queen: Freya...I'm not –
Freya: Grrrrrr! They held a gun to you am I correct? Or a sword? Or a pitchfork? OR, OR A TON OF KNIVES!!?
Queen: Urm...Freya, dear I have a cold I haven't been stabbed ...* thinking* overreacts to everything...
Freya: *clasps hands together * what can I do to help you momma? Anything! You name it! Oooo! I know! I'll get you some medicine! -^-^-
Queen: Uh, Freya, its better if you don't, remember, you don't have any sense of direct –
Freya: DON'T WORRY MOMMA!!! I'LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT! *Runs out of the room *
Queen: I'm doomed...
~ In Hyrule ~
Ganondorf: *sitting in room in Gerudo valley* what evil should I bring about today?
Koume: oo! Ganondorf, you should teach that kid Link a lesson!
Kotake: YES! Go over to his house right now and show him who's boss!
Ganondorf: *sweatdrop* *gets out stuffed Gannon toy* *Talks to the toy* How about a picnic Ganny?
Koume and Kotake: ...¬¬
Tadashi: *comes bursting through wall * FREYA!!!!
Ganondorf, Koume and Kotake: *looking at Tadashi *...
Tadashi: *looks around * huh? Oh! *Scritches head* sorry bout the wall!! * Gets out super glue and picks up a chunk of rock* please stick back on...*tries to stick rock back on but ends up breaking the whole wall * *starts waving arms around*AHHH! I'M SORRY! I CAN FIX IT!! I CAN I –
Ganondorf: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?
Koume: Looks like Link.
Kotake: Yeah, same hair. Better clothes.
Tadashi: *still waving arms around franticly* I'M SORRY SIR!! I'LL EVEN PAY FOR REPAIRS!!
Ganondorf: You have money?
Tadashi: *nods head*
Ganondorf: *gets out table* lets talk.
Koume: First of all, whats your name?
Tadashi: My names Tadashi, uh ...Sir.
Koume: * hits him over the head with her broom* #! I'M A WOMAN!
Tadashi: *holding head * yowch! S-sorry... ma'am!
Koume: That's better. Secondly...why are you here?
Tadashi: I'm looking for Princess Freya! Have you seen her?
Kotake: *whispers to Ganondorf* this boy is obviously senile.
Ganondorf: Are you insane boy?
Tadashi: no sir.
Koume: At least he's polite even if he is crazy.
Tadashi: I'M NOT CRAZY!
Ganondorf: *looks at Tadashi's sword* You fight?
Tadashi: huh? *looks at his back* oh yeah! I forgot about that! Ha ha ha! ^- ^;
Koume and Kotake: *thinking * oh god...
Ganondorf: Yes, well I think I might know where your princess is...
Koume and Kotake: WHAT?!
Ganondorf: * grabs Koume and Kotake*
Koume and Kotake: YAHHHH!!!
Ganondorf: *whispers* Just play along. This way we can get rid of Link AND get loads of money at the same time! MWHEHEH! *Evil smile*
Koume and Kotake: oohh! Ganny you're so evil! * They don't get it*
Tadashi: YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS!? *Grabs Ganondorf's cloak* Please tell me!
Ganondorf: ...*gives him weirdo looks* *pulls cloak away* HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE!! Anyway...an evil villain named Link has... uh kidnapped her. *Fake concern* Oh the tragedy!
Tadashi: WHAT!? HE KIDNAPPED FREYA!?
Ganondorf: Yes, he looks like a garden gnome and lives in a shabby tree house in the forest. He likes women so...he probably kidnapped your girlfriend to hec hem satisfy his own urges.
Tadashi: * blushes* uh no...Freya's not my...*blushes insanely* WAIT- HE, HES BEEN DOING... THAT WITH HER!? YOU'VE GOTTA TELL ME WHERE HE IS!
Ganondorf: *hits him over the head with Kotake's broom* Haven't you been paying attention?! He lives in the forest with a white light bulb called Navi.
Tadashi: *Tilts head* light bulb?
Ganondorf: Yes, well he needs company. He lives by himself so a light bulb is all he has.
Tadashi: * sad face*
Ganondorf: WHAT NOW!?
Tadashi: *looks up* now I kinda feel sorry for him...
Ganondorf: *slaps head*Arghhh... Remember, he's doing naughty things with your potential girlfriend...
Tadashi: *Is extremely angry* I'LL KILL HIM!!
Ganondorf: *smug smile* Now...didn't you have to pay me back for all the damage you caused? * Puts out hand*
Tadashi: * pulls out empty pockets* *sweatdrop* Urm...thanks for the info! ^- ^ RUN! * Runs out*
Ganondorf: *still smiling and has hand out* ...
Koume and Kotake: Looks like we're not getting any money...Ganondorf's just in denial now...
Ganondorf: ... THE DAMN KID DID'NT PAY ME!! DOESN'T HE KNOW WHO I AM!?
Koume: Doubt it. He seemed a bit out of it to me.
Ganondorf: GRRRRRRR!!!! I WANTED THE MONEY!!!
Koume and Kotake: oh, and, Ganondorf, why do you change the subject when we ask YOU to kill Link?
Ganondorf: * sweatdrop* * gets out organ* * starts playing his song on it* can't you two see I'm busy? Stop asking irritating questions!
Koume and Kotake: ...¬¬
~ In Kokiri Forest ~
Tadashi: WHERE ARE YOU, YOU B******!?
Random Kokiri: * hits him with deku stick* NO SWEARING!
Tadashi: WHY IS EVERYONE HITTING ME ALL OF A SUDDEN!?
(Loreille: Because you're an idiot)
Tadashi: * grasps head* NOW I'M HEARING VOICES!! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOPPPPP!!
Link: Hi there! Are you... in need of help?
Tadashi: * looks up at Link* YOU!
Link: moi?
Tadashi: Gimme back FREYA!!!
Link: who is Freya?
Tadashi: You should know you pervert! How dare you do such things to an innocent princess!
Link: * is highly confused*
Tadashi: *Takes out sword* You will die for your vile sins villain! I demand you to release Freya this instant!
Link: h-huh?!
Tadashi: * swings sword* opps! -_-;
Link: * looks to his side* you...completely missed me! ...And cut a tree...poor tree...*uses song of healing* Does that feel better little tree?
Tadashi: *swings sword 180 degrees* HYAAA! -_-;; whoops
Link: GAHHHH! YOU CUT NAVI! *Shakes Tadashi's hand* Thank you so much!!
Tadashi: * shocked* uh...your welcome...I guess...WAIT! *snaps out of handshake* GIVE ME FREYA YOU FIEND!
Link: WHO THE HELL IS FREYA!? AND WHY DO YOU SUSPECT ME OF TAKING HER!?
Tadashi: Don't play innocent with me villain! Some guy with two women who looked like creepy old guys, told me ALL about you!
Link: *pondering* creepy old dudes... OHHH! GANONDORF! WHY DID YOU TALK TO HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!? Actually...come to think of it...WHO ARE YOU?
Tadashi: DON'T TRY TO MANIPULATE ME! *Slashes at Link...but drops his sword* -_-# damn sword...
Link: I suggest that you find a weapon more suited for your * cough* standard. I recommend...the...crappy, useless, does absolutely no damage what so ever, plastic toy sword! * Holds it up* *der ner NER NER! *
Girls Voice: AIYAAAA!!! HELP!!
Link and Tadashi: huh?! * they run into Lost Woods*
Girls Voice: PLEASE HELP!!
Tadashi: Why are you running to help? You're the villain aren't you?
Link: W-WHA!? NO WAY! DO I LOOK LIKE IT!?
Tadashi: Well, the dress is rather suspicious...
Link: It's a tunic! Not a dress!
Tadashi: Still looks pretty wimpy if you ask me...
Girl's voice: hello? If you hadn't noticed I'm in need of serious help over here!
Tadashi: *looks around* huh?! Freya! He didn't rape you after all! ^-^
Link: We went through all this...AND NOW YOUR ALL CALM ABOUT IT!?
Tadashi: Yup!
Link: ¬¬ ....
Freya: * caught up in a skulltulas web* Need help, need help, Hello? I NEED HELP!
Tadashi: oh right! SORRY! * tries to cut her free with toy sword* WHAT THE-
Link: * Cuts Freya free with master sword* are you okay?
Tadashi: *still hacking away at the web* damn it....
Link: You can quit it now Tadashi, she's free so-
Tadashi: Stop talking! I've almost cut it!
Link: OOOkkay....
Freya: Thanks for rescuing me I am in your debt! Bye now! * Starts walking away*
Tadashi: FREYA! I CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR YOU AND NOW YOUR JUST WALKING AWAY!?
Freya: Yes ^-^ See you. *Starts walking briskly*
Link: Hey... uh you guys are not from around here are you?
Freya: Oh! *Turns around* I'm terribly sorry! I forgot to introduce ones self ^-^! Hec hem, I am the wonderfully gracious, beautiful, intelligent, polite, ever amazing, completely enchanting princess of Laifeille. Oh, yeah and this is Tadashi.
Tadashi: * unenthusiastically* Howdy.
Link: *sighs* anyways its nice to meet you both, but Tadashi, what Ganondorf told you was a lie. You shouldn't trust that guy.
Tadashi: But Freya was in trouble! I had to find her!
Freya: -^-^- Cookie?
Tadashi: * shakes head* No thanks, besides I don't know anyone apart from you here...
Link: Ohhhhh! I get it!
Tadashi: You do? Oh good!
Link: You have social issues right? Ah don't worry! If you got clothes as good as mine, I bet that would boost your self-esteem right through the roof!
Tadashi: No that's not what I-
Link: Come, we shall go meet people! *Pulls him along*
Tadashi: Wahhh!! Uh Freya...you coming?
Freya: Yes, I am Tadashi!
Tadashi: Then why are heading towards the Deku Tree?
Freya: Oh my! So I am!
Link: This could be a loooongg story...
~ Briefly back to Ganondorf ~
Ganondorf: See Ganny? I invited miss. Peach doll and mr. Keaton Doll to come to our tea party too! * Pushes Gannon toy*
Ganny: *squeak*
Koume: Ganondorf...what are you doing?
Ganondorf: uh...hec hem I'm just uh plotting out our next attack on Link! *Takes Gannon toy and hits the Keaton doll with it* HA! TAKE THAT HERO OF TIME!
Koume: Good. I'm glad to see your using your time wisely. *Leaves room*
Ganondorf: *picks up Keaton doll and hugs it * I'm sorry little Keaton. Ganondorf never meant to hurt poor ickle you!
Kotake: *looking through keyhole* He worries me.
Koume: Yeah, ever since he was released from the sacred realm he's been a bit...traumatized...
Ganondorf: * hugs the Gannon doll* who loves you? I love you!
Ganny: *squeak*
Koume and Kotake: ...... maybe... we should just leave him for now...
~ Chapter 1 End ~
Phew! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! My other characters will be introduced shortly! Please review, but no flames please. Suggestions are fine but no flaming! Oh yeah, thank you Linda Of Lorule for correcting me on the spelling of "Ganondorf"! Okay, until the next chapter bye bye! -^-^-
