Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any characters and/or places
thereof
Author's note: I was having a lot of trouble writing this chapter, so I ended up doing a real short one severely lacking in quality. My apologies, but at least this will move the story on.
*****
"When I woke up this morning, my heart felt heavy with despair. I did not want to face the day. Left to my own devices, I might have lain for hours watching shadows move across the floor, judging the hour by their length and breadth.
"When I woke up this morning, I had nothing to look forward to but months of solitary contemplation, bereft of my brothers and their companion. It seemed a lost cause, going on with life. I feared I would be left behind, forced to remain a child for ever.
"When I woke up this morning, I believed I would never be seen as an adult or an equal." Estel looked to Elrohir, Elladan and Legolas each individually, all illuminated by the light of their fire, plumes of smoke rising in a twisting pattern to the deep night sky. Stars appeared here and there, not enough space without one star to place the nail of a finger. "How glad I am that this belief was wrong."
Their camp was but a small clearing, but it felt as comfortable as home, warmed and lighted by the fire, the smells of nature everywhere, but most importantly filled with love and good fellowship. Nearby their horses rested. Their packs had been set against trees and their bedrolls placed open upon the ground. The valley of Imladris had been left behind, but only temporarily.
Elladan and Elrohir smiled at the boy, unsure of what to say. Legolas observed, feeling not at all a part of this. "Not too old, I hope," Elladan said at last, "to remain our little brother."
"No," Estel replied. He reached out beside the fire and Elladan took his hand. "Not yet too old for that. Never too old," he promised, smiling but solemnly.
For a time none had any words to speak, then Elrohir at last spoke, "Who will take the first watch tonight? Elladan, I think, ought to, for he is eldest."
Elladan agreed readily, and the others, wishing him a peaceful watch, lay down to sleep. Estel found himself smiling as he gazed upward at the stars, feeling immensely pleased for reasons he could not explain, immensely powerful despite his scrawny weakness. Sleep came to him as a rider on the wind, snatching away the spirit of Estel and leaving his body lying there on the ground, smiling foolishly.
When just over two hours had passed, Elladan shook his twin awake. "Elrohir, it is your watch," he whispered, hoping not to disturb the others. The distant look that came to elves in their sleep disappeared from Elrohir's eyes.
"Thanks you for waking me," he said, raising himself from the warm covers.
"Come. There is something I must show you, which I do not wish the others to know," Elladan spoke, and Elrohir nodded, understanding the want of secrecy. The twins moved to Elladan's pack, and the elder drew from within a roll of leather. He looked once over his shoulder to be certain the other two slept soundly. Satisfied, Elladan turned back to his brother.
Unnoticed, Estel opened his eyes again and listened intently. ". . .Glorfindel gave this to me, today in the stables before we left," Elladan whispered. "They are well crafted, look at this."
Estel shifted, trying to see what Elladan held. Carefully he inched himself forward, being as quiet a possible--snap! A dry twig the mortal had not noticed buckled with his weight, loud enough, or so it seemed, to awaken anyone within ten miles. Estel winced.
Elladan whirled, rolling the leather covering into a scroll. "Estel! You were listening in!"
"Only a little," he replied. "What is it, Elladan?"
"Nothing, child," Elrohir answered. "Go back to sleep. You will take your watch in a few hours and had best be rested for it. Go on, sleep!"
Estel frowned, but rolled obediently onto his back. "Yes, Elrohir," he muttered, closing his eyes again. Elladan and Elrohir watched the boy until his breathing became deep and regular. Then they continued in hushed tones.
"I will show you later and explain more at a safer time," Elladan promised.
Elrohir nodded. "Estel should not know of such things. With any luck he will not learn of this."
"I do not think luck will be with us in this matter, Brother."
"Aye. Then Glorfindel's precaution will be much need indeed!"
Elladan did not move to sleep himself but watched Estel for a moment longer. "He is growing up, isn't he, Elrohir?"
"He is, and in many ways has. Nothing has ever been quite easy for him, has it? When his emotions are more controlled, he will be a fine man. Already in him I see this man emerge from the ashes of the boy." Elrohir watch his brother's chest rise and fall. "Tomorrow night, we will change the manner of the shifts of watch. Four and one half hours you will watch, then four and one half hours I. Legolas and Estel may elect one or the other to take watch first of them."
"Aye." Elladan nodded. "I think this works better." It would benefit them, having a full night's sleep one night and a half the next. A broken sleep every night would slowly wear them down, but Elrohir's proposal would serve to condition them.
At last Elladan laid down to sleep, leaving Elrohir awake beside the fire. The night passed uneventfully, perhaps the most exciting moment of Elrohir's watch being the moments he spent adding fuel to the fire to keep it burning, glancing at Estel to be sure the boy was warm. Perhaps he had grown up, but Elrohir had grown accustom to looking after his brother. That sort of instinct, it did not go away over night.
Elrohir woke Legolas, and a few hours later Legolas woke Estel. "I am sorry to do this to you," Legolas said. Estel kept to himself that he did not mind. Dawn was coming quickly upon them, and that time was the most beautiful in all the day. It was a moment to savor, a moment to truly live. Being awake at dawn to see the sky turn the color first of ash, then slowly onwards until the sun rose, and the sky reached the peachy zenith of its radiance.
Being awake at dawn made the day worth experiencing. Everything suddenly fell into experience at this magical time, not as events but merely experiences, and in that moment of rapture one knows invincibility.
It is for this that Estel was glad to be grant last watch. Life looked better from inside a peach.
Author's note: I was having a lot of trouble writing this chapter, so I ended up doing a real short one severely lacking in quality. My apologies, but at least this will move the story on.
*****
"When I woke up this morning, my heart felt heavy with despair. I did not want to face the day. Left to my own devices, I might have lain for hours watching shadows move across the floor, judging the hour by their length and breadth.
"When I woke up this morning, I had nothing to look forward to but months of solitary contemplation, bereft of my brothers and their companion. It seemed a lost cause, going on with life. I feared I would be left behind, forced to remain a child for ever.
"When I woke up this morning, I believed I would never be seen as an adult or an equal." Estel looked to Elrohir, Elladan and Legolas each individually, all illuminated by the light of their fire, plumes of smoke rising in a twisting pattern to the deep night sky. Stars appeared here and there, not enough space without one star to place the nail of a finger. "How glad I am that this belief was wrong."
Their camp was but a small clearing, but it felt as comfortable as home, warmed and lighted by the fire, the smells of nature everywhere, but most importantly filled with love and good fellowship. Nearby their horses rested. Their packs had been set against trees and their bedrolls placed open upon the ground. The valley of Imladris had been left behind, but only temporarily.
Elladan and Elrohir smiled at the boy, unsure of what to say. Legolas observed, feeling not at all a part of this. "Not too old, I hope," Elladan said at last, "to remain our little brother."
"No," Estel replied. He reached out beside the fire and Elladan took his hand. "Not yet too old for that. Never too old," he promised, smiling but solemnly.
For a time none had any words to speak, then Elrohir at last spoke, "Who will take the first watch tonight? Elladan, I think, ought to, for he is eldest."
Elladan agreed readily, and the others, wishing him a peaceful watch, lay down to sleep. Estel found himself smiling as he gazed upward at the stars, feeling immensely pleased for reasons he could not explain, immensely powerful despite his scrawny weakness. Sleep came to him as a rider on the wind, snatching away the spirit of Estel and leaving his body lying there on the ground, smiling foolishly.
When just over two hours had passed, Elladan shook his twin awake. "Elrohir, it is your watch," he whispered, hoping not to disturb the others. The distant look that came to elves in their sleep disappeared from Elrohir's eyes.
"Thanks you for waking me," he said, raising himself from the warm covers.
"Come. There is something I must show you, which I do not wish the others to know," Elladan spoke, and Elrohir nodded, understanding the want of secrecy. The twins moved to Elladan's pack, and the elder drew from within a roll of leather. He looked once over his shoulder to be certain the other two slept soundly. Satisfied, Elladan turned back to his brother.
Unnoticed, Estel opened his eyes again and listened intently. ". . .Glorfindel gave this to me, today in the stables before we left," Elladan whispered. "They are well crafted, look at this."
Estel shifted, trying to see what Elladan held. Carefully he inched himself forward, being as quiet a possible--snap! A dry twig the mortal had not noticed buckled with his weight, loud enough, or so it seemed, to awaken anyone within ten miles. Estel winced.
Elladan whirled, rolling the leather covering into a scroll. "Estel! You were listening in!"
"Only a little," he replied. "What is it, Elladan?"
"Nothing, child," Elrohir answered. "Go back to sleep. You will take your watch in a few hours and had best be rested for it. Go on, sleep!"
Estel frowned, but rolled obediently onto his back. "Yes, Elrohir," he muttered, closing his eyes again. Elladan and Elrohir watched the boy until his breathing became deep and regular. Then they continued in hushed tones.
"I will show you later and explain more at a safer time," Elladan promised.
Elrohir nodded. "Estel should not know of such things. With any luck he will not learn of this."
"I do not think luck will be with us in this matter, Brother."
"Aye. Then Glorfindel's precaution will be much need indeed!"
Elladan did not move to sleep himself but watched Estel for a moment longer. "He is growing up, isn't he, Elrohir?"
"He is, and in many ways has. Nothing has ever been quite easy for him, has it? When his emotions are more controlled, he will be a fine man. Already in him I see this man emerge from the ashes of the boy." Elrohir watch his brother's chest rise and fall. "Tomorrow night, we will change the manner of the shifts of watch. Four and one half hours you will watch, then four and one half hours I. Legolas and Estel may elect one or the other to take watch first of them."
"Aye." Elladan nodded. "I think this works better." It would benefit them, having a full night's sleep one night and a half the next. A broken sleep every night would slowly wear them down, but Elrohir's proposal would serve to condition them.
At last Elladan laid down to sleep, leaving Elrohir awake beside the fire. The night passed uneventfully, perhaps the most exciting moment of Elrohir's watch being the moments he spent adding fuel to the fire to keep it burning, glancing at Estel to be sure the boy was warm. Perhaps he had grown up, but Elrohir had grown accustom to looking after his brother. That sort of instinct, it did not go away over night.
Elrohir woke Legolas, and a few hours later Legolas woke Estel. "I am sorry to do this to you," Legolas said. Estel kept to himself that he did not mind. Dawn was coming quickly upon them, and that time was the most beautiful in all the day. It was a moment to savor, a moment to truly live. Being awake at dawn to see the sky turn the color first of ash, then slowly onwards until the sun rose, and the sky reached the peachy zenith of its radiance.
Being awake at dawn made the day worth experiencing. Everything suddenly fell into experience at this magical time, not as events but merely experiences, and in that moment of rapture one knows invincibility.
It is for this that Estel was glad to be grant last watch. Life looked better from inside a peach.
