INTERMISSION
"Let me explain this great work of art to you. This is called darkness. I believe the way it was created was by turning off the light. And then, there came a voice, and it said 'LET THERE BE LIGHT!' And voila! God complied, and the earth was blessed with the miracle of LIGHT," a voice said.
What had previously been dark became light, and Shadow became visible, standing in front of a black curtain, looking panicked.
"Guys, this is horrible! Can you believe somebody has stolen my bishies from me? THEY STOLE THEM! Who knows where they hell they are! They could be locked in a little room with no food and only a little hole in the ground to use as a toilet! They could be forced into slavery and beaten to a pulp! They could be hung by their ears from a ceiling!! Maybe they were kidnapped by Scottish people and are being forced to wear kilts!" O_O
"TIME FOR 'WHAT'S INSIDE SHADOW'S MIND?'" the voice from earlier said.
A screen lowered from the ceiling and some cables and wires attached themselves to Shadow's head. She still looked horrified (O_O) and didn't seem to notice. An image pops up on the screen of Hiei and Kurama wearing skirts. The screen blows up and the wires fry Shadow's head.
"As I was saying, they're probably being tortured in horrible ways, and... and... and... KOENMA'S BEIN' A ^(&%ING @$$ AND WON'T GO LOOK FOR THEM! WE'RE DOOOOOMED!!" She fell to her knees, sobbing. "DOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!"
Suddenly, the curtain moves and Kenshin's head pops out.
"Shadow-san, Sanosuke wanted me to ask you where the wasabi is."
Shadow's eyes turned red and she glared at the floor.
"YOU RUINED MY SUSPENSEFUL SOB STORY!!!"
"Oro?"
Shadow started fuming.
"Uh-oh."
Shadow got up and stomped over to Kenshin. He cowered. Shadow hovered over him, looking like she was about to explode. Then suddenly... "Oh well!"
"Oro?" Kenshin promptly fell flat on his face. @_@
Shadow turned around to face the camera. "WELCOME TO BACKSTAGE!"
She pulled a rope and the curtain opened to reveal... well... just about anything anybody would ever want. The entire cast of the story... All the bishies, none of the unnamed fanatic girls (that'd be torture! They're not acting!), and some of the other random people who haven't been in the story yet. There's a bar, there's a resturant, if I spelled that wrong I don't care, there's an indoor in ground pool AND a hot tub, a huge big screen TV (movie theater size!), walls of shelves full of food, a ginormous fridge/freezer, books, video games, food, soda, cards, tables, the sacred fluffy chair, some couches... can you think of anything else you'd want? Well if you can, it was there too. Shirtless bishies included. Anywho, the room has to be at least the size of... half a football field, maybe? Yes, that's big.
"I thought you weren't gonna introduce backstage?" Eclipse asked from the edge of the pool.
"Kenshin WRECKED my sob story. So I decided, oh, what the screw, why not show all the fans we live in luxury?"
"Oh." Eclipse vanished underwater.
Shadow walked around the giant room to check on all the guys. Miroku and Youko Kurama were playing poker. Shadow carefully avoided the small gathering of perverts. Yusuke and Kuwabara (not a bishie, but I said other random people, didn't I?) were playing video games. As Shadow watched, Kuwabara lost and got mad and started strangling Yusuke. She avoided them, too. She made her way to the bar.
Wolfwood, Vash, and Hiko were sitting there drinking sake or beer or something. Aoshi was sitting with them, but he was drinking tea (if I recall, he mentioned he loses his temper or something if he drinks, ne?). Since they seemed slightly drunk already, Shadow avoided them. She was doing quite a bit of avoiding, wasn't she?
"Hey Shadow!"
She turned around and remembered the pool. She was surprised to see Hiei was actually in the pool, along with Sanosuke. They were promptly drenched by Eclipse doing a cannonball off the high dive.
"Come here," Hiei ordered. Shadow walked over, carefully staying out of his reach.
"What?"
"You just gonna pace around and avoid people?" Sano asked.
"Where's Saitou?"
Sano submerged and blew bubbles. Then he burst up out of the water. "Who cares?!"
"I don't know. And Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, too."
"I think they're probably all off killing each other," Hiei answered.
"Shit! They can't do that! We're only on chapter four!"
"Well... Wait. Inuyasha was with Kagome... Sesshoumaru is probably dueling with Saitou. Who cares? As long as they don't go and vanish or die, I think we'll be okay," Hiei said.
"Get in the pool!" Sano ordered, lunging out and latching onto her leg.
"Eep!"
"CANNONBALL!!!" Eclipse screamed suddenly.
Woosh. Sano and Hiei were drenched again. Not like they weren't wet already, being as they were sitting in a swimming pool...
Eclipse pulled herself out of the pool and stood beside Shadow.
"Gonna swim?"
"In my clothes?"
"NO! GO SKINNY DIPPING!" Youko yelled.
Shadow hurled a brick at his head. He dodged and it hit Miroku.
"I'm gonna go change, then. I'll be back," Shadow said. She pried Sanosuke off and ran away.
"Well FINE then," Youko sulked. "I was all set for her to go skinny dipping."
"Shut up, perv. You know she wouldn't do that," Eclipse snapped.
"But it'd be cool if she did, wouldn't it?"
The next brick made contact... with Miroku again.
"MOST DEFINITELY NOT!" Eclipse snapped. "I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND NAKED!"
"I do."
Hiei flung a whole bag of bricks at Youko. Where he got them, I don't know, but they made contact and the fox went out cold on the floor with swirly eyes.
"Sanosuke!"
Yahiko ran up to the edge of the pool.
"Hey, Yahiko. What's up?"
"Have you seen Kenshin?"
Sano pointed. Kenshin was sitting off to one side looking clueless.
"KAORU, I FOUND KENSHIN!"
Kaoru came running and tackled Kenshin. The two of them went sliding out of view. Hiei blinked.
"That was odd."
A few minutes later, once Hiei, Sano, and Eclipse had started having races in the pool, Shadow came back in a black one-piece swimming suit, dragging Saitou and Sesshoumaru by the wrists.
"Stay in the room, if you please. I'm not really one to mess with, being owner and all, so I suggest you stay here and enjoy yourselves," she snapped. "Go get drunk or some- No, I take that back. Saitou, avoid the sake. Please. No if you don't mind..." Shadow ran to the pool and did a cannonball into the deep end. Then she swam along the bottom, as low as she could without hitting the floor, and sat there for a second before she saw Sano swimming near her. She leap out of the water and landed on top of him, forcing him under. Needless to say, that caused a bit of thrashing, and eventually they both ended up hanging onto each other to stay above the water and gasping for breath. Hiei and Eclipse watched from a few feet away, looking kind of confused.
"Don't *gasp* ever *gasp* do that *gasp* AGAIN!" Sano snapped. He shoved Shadow's head underwater. She blew bubbles at him fought out of his grip, surfaced, and spit a mouthful of water in his face.
"Let the water wars begin!" Eclipse declared as Sano sputtered and shook his head vigorously to get the water out of his face.
Eventually, everybody was in the pool except Aoshi, Saitou, and Sesshoumaru, because they didn't engage themselves in 'foolish behavior'. And Inuyasha, because he was who-knows-where with Kagome doing who-knows-what.
"SAITOU! Come here!" Shadow ordered, getting a free second away from the general war field... er... pool...
"What, and play your stupid water games? I'd rather not," Saitou said dryly, taking a drag on his cigarette.
"Can't smoke and swim at the same time? Afraid of water?" Shadow taunted. Saitou just stared. With a growl, Shadow jumped out of the pool and grabbed Saitou's wrist, attempting to drag him to the pool. He smirked. She went around and tried to push him forward. He barely moved. With another growl, Shadow jumped up and latched onto his back, stole his cigarette from his hand, and spit on it to put it out. Then she handed it back to him.
"Where do you keep your endless stash of cigarettes, anyway?"
"It's not endless," Saitou growled. "That was my last one."
"Gasp! I'll give you more if you get in the pool."
"Why do you care so much if I get in the stupid pool?"
"Because... I don't know! Just do it!"
"No."
"DO IT!"
"No."
"I'll bite off your ear!" Shadow clamped her teeth onto his ear.
"SHADOW, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
Shadow let go and looked up at the sound of Hiei's voice. She smiled innocently, sweatdropped, and let go of Saitou. His back was soaked from having Shadow clamped onto him.
"Leave him alone, Shadow. He's a mean old geezer," Eclipse said.
"Belly flop?" Shadow said. Everybody was confused for a second until Shadow leaped at them all, aiming to do a belly flop. Everybody made way or dove underwater as she slammed into the water, sending out a mini-tsunami.
Saitou took off his drenched police jacket and went and lay down on the couch. Sesshoumaru vanished off again, probably to go try to kill his brother. Aoshi went and got in the hot tub. Everybody else was still drowning each other in the pool.
Hours and hours and hours later...
Everybody was lying around on the floor or at the edges of the pool or hot tub or on the couch, several of them asleep and all of them exhausted from water wars. Saitou was sitting on the couch, looking rather relaxed, and smoking. Hiei was sitting beside him, sleeping while sitting up, with Shadow leaning her head on his shoulder, also asleep. Shadow had Saitou's police jacket draped around her, but she was still in her swimming suit. Eclipse was curled up nearby on the floor with her head on Vash's chest. He was also asleep. Sanosuke and Kenshin were in the hot tub, along with Kaoru. Yusuke and Kuwabara were back to video games. Miroku and Youko were back to playing poker. Wolfwood was playing chess with Hiko. Everybody else was either watching TV or asleep at the bar... And then there was Sesshoumaru... and... he was... playing... a Gameboy...? Yes, that's right. He was sitting in a corner playing a Gameboy. O_o Sure.
And that is how life is outside the stories.
Muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
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I don't know what the point of this was, but hey, whatever. It's there. Whatever.
