CHAPTER EIGHT
In which they are rescued, people die, and Shadow dances a lot

Shadow and Eclipse came to the outskirts of a city. They went through back alleys and the like to avoid lots of attention from random passers-by. Their plan was going amazingly well, considering Shadow thought it up. Or was it Eclipse? Who cares. It was going surprisingly well considering that anybody other than Kurama or similar genius thought it up.

Shadow and Eclipse stopped to take a rest in a small alley between two buildings.

"Shadow... I just realized... If we're trying to get to the police... Wouldn't it be best to change our clothes? I mean, we've been doing all this to avoid commoners' attention, but we're going to the police. Isn't that kind of stupid?"

"Stop thinking, Eclipse... It's hurting my brain," Shadow muttered. Suddenly, the door she'd been leaning on opened and she fell into the arms of...

A scary looking man with a sword.

She jumped up and put her back to the wall opposite him.

"What are two strangely dressed girls doing outside my back door?" he asked. Shadow didn't like his voice. It sounded evil.

"Is it such a crime?" Shadow asked.

"No. But it's dangerous. All sorts of people come and go through this door. You might meet some trouble sitting there. What is your business in this area of Tokyo?"

"We were actually looking for the police," Shadow said. "If you could point us in the right direction, I would be much obliged."

"The police? What would you want with those bakas?"

"We need help."

"Mental help," Eclipse added. Shadow kicked her hard in the leg and she went hopping around in circles yelping and holding her shin.

"Be quiet, girl!" the man snapped, clamping his hand over her mouth. She screeched and pulled away from him. This drew the attention of a young boy walking by on the street. He walked into the alley.

"What's going on here?" he asked. He was wearing a yellow top with green pants... things... whatever the hell those are called. Kimono... thing... Oo

"Absolutely nothing, and we were just leaving," Shadow said. She turned to walk away and ran into the freaky man. "Aye. Hello."

"What are you doing to these girls?" the little boy asked.

"Look, gaki, these girls were hanging around outside my door. I have every right to do whatever I want with them," the man answered. "Trespassing on private property is punishable by law, is it not?"

"I know you! You're one of those men involved with that smuggling ring that was in the newspaper!" the kid said. Shadow and Eclipse exchanged glances, stared at the man, looked at the kid, and took off running out of the alley.

"Thanks for your help, kiddo!" Shadow shouted before turning the corner. The kid stared at the man and tore off after the two girls.

"What the heck are you doing?" he asked as he caught up to them.

"Running!" Shadow answered.

"Where is the police station?" Eclipse asked.

"Police? Come with me," the kid said. "I'm Yahiko Myoujin by the way."

"Shadow Jaganshi!"

"Eclipse Shinomori."

Yahiko stopped dead.

"Shinomori? No relation to Aoshi Shinomori, are you?"

"Who?"

"Aoshi Shinomori was the leader of the Tokyo Oniwaban group, but recently he vanished without a trace."

Shadow stared at him.

"Vanished? Did anybody else you know vanish?"

"... Yes... Two of my friends, Kenshin and Sanosuke, as well as Kenshin's master and his rival... enemy... nemisis person... Though I don't see why I should have told you. I don't even know you."

"You know our names," Eclipse said. "That should be enough."

"We have come to help you," Shadow said, looking all fluttery and glowy and stuff like she was an angel.

"I... uh... think you should talk to Kaoru. Come with me."

A few minutes later, Shadow and Eclipse were sitting in Kaoru's dojo. They found out that several people had vanished completely off the face of Tokyo.

"Ah. Well see, a few of my friends just vanished too, and that's what we're here for. We're looking for them. We know when they are," Shadow said.

"You know when they are?" Yahiko said, staring. "Is that what you said?"

"Uh-huh. 2010."

"What? I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I'm not falling for it. I don't know why I just spilled my guts to two girls I just met, either. Get out of here!" Kaoru said.

"We're from 2004. We have contact with the son of the ruler of Reikai, and he can tell when there's been time travel, and there had been time travel. Believe me. I think you should come with us," Shadow said.

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Kaoru said, but Shadow grabbed her and Yahiko and dragged them out the front door. As Shadow was heading out into the street, she bumped into a woman who stared at Kaoru like... well... she looked surprised.

"Kaoru, what is going on?" the woman asked.

"Megumi! What are you doing here?"

"You know her?" Shadow said. "Eclipse, if you would be so kind."

"Right."

Eclipse grabbed Megumi and dragged her along after Shadow.

Eventually, once they were in the forest, Kaoru decided she would give in a walk like a normal person the rest of the way to wherever they were going. When Shadow passed a pile of unconscious guys, she knew they were getting close.

"What happened to them!" Kaoru asked, startled.

"Boot to the head," Shadow said. "Literally."

"What?"

"We beat them up," Shadow clarified dryly.

"Ah."

A little bit farther ahead, Shadow stopped in a clearing. "Voila. Time machine."

The 1880-natives' jaws dropped.

"Wanna go for a ride?" Shadow asked.

Before any of the gaping 1880-ers could answer, Shadow's eyes widened.

"Really, you have no choice now," she said. "Get in."

"What? Why?" Yahiko said.

Before anybody could say anything else, several of the unconscious guys they had passed moments earlier walked into the clearing.

"Get in!" Shadow snapped, throwing Yahiko, Kaoru, and Megumi into the time machine and jumping in after them. Eclipse jumped in and Shadow slammed the lid and took off.

"See? It flies," Shadow said. "I told you I'm not a crap head."

"Oh my God...!" Kaoru said, staring. "Who are you?"

"Didn't I tell you that already? I don't remember. Eclipse, do you remember where else Koenma said the time thingy went?"

"Uh-uh."

"Then, off to 2010 we go!" Shadow said, pushing a few buttons. A few minutes later, they were hovering above a forest.

"Did we go anywhere? It looks the same," Eclipse said. Suddenly, there was an explosion of sound and light, and the time machine went spinning through the air.

"We're under attack!" Eclipse shouted.

"NO SHIT!"

"Do something about it!"

"Like what?"

"You're the video game addict! Use your skills and strategy to save us, baka!" Eclipse snapped.

"Yes, Your Hiney," Shadow snapped, pulling a few levers and pushing some buttons and hoping it would do something.

Megumi was just terrified. She looked sort of like she was going to either cry, wet herself, or pass out. Kaoru looked slightly green, and Yahiko's eyes were the size of watermelons. He was terrified.

There was a thud and the machine stopped moving.

"What's going on?" Kaoru asked, horrified.

"Errrrrrrrrrrrgggggg..." Shadow growled, leaning forward against the acceleration. "We're... not... moving..."

"No, really?" Eclipse said. "I thought we were winning a race!"

"You're one dense child, and I pity you," Shadow said, leaning back slightly. That slack was enough, and they started to get pulled backwards.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Shadow screamed. That was it. Megumi started hyperventilating, Yahiko slumped on Kaoru's shoulder, and Kaoru threw up (ewww...).

"GROSS! Actually, I don't really think we're gonna die..." Shadow said.

"Too late now, Shadow," Eclipse said. "Use your brain before you speak."

"I did. My brain had to send the message to--"

"You know what I mean!"

By now, the time machine had been pulled down into the trees and, with a thud and a jerk, it landed. Then, nothing happened. Shadow nervously reached forward to the controls and opened the lid.

It opened. Nothing happened.

Looking around she saw absolutely nothing. She pulled herself out and dropped to the ground. Nothing happened.

Everybody unpacked themselves from the machine. Then something happened. The ground under them vanished and they fell, screaming, to their deaths below.

Thump.

Shadow landed on a hard metal floor. She lay there for a second, surrounded by everyone else who had fallen, before getting up and rubbing her poor injured backside.

"My bum hurts," she said in a little whiney voice.

"That's nice, Shadow," Eclipse said sarcastically. Shadow looked around.

"Where are we?"

"A tube, it looks like," Eclipse replied.

"Oh. That tells me a lot. Look, we're in a tube, aren't we special?" Shadow retorted sarcastically.

There was a loud buzz that caused everybody to smack their hands over their ears until it finally silenced.

"Who are you?" came a female voice.

"WE ARE DOOM! FEAR US!" Shadow hollered.

"Shadow!" Eclipse yelped. "We're harmless!"

"Harmless?" Shadow said in disbelief.

"Why are you here, time travelers?"

"Who says we're time travelers?"

"The machine you are using appears out of nowhere and has many of the same designs and components as our time travel device," the girl's voice said. Shadow thought this over and blinked.

"Would you know a Hiei Jaganshi, by any chance?" she asked.

"HIEI? WHERE?" came a second girl's voice over the intercom. "WHERE'S MY HIEI? MY HIEI!"

"Your Hiei?" Shadow said coldly under her breath.

"Baka, Hiei is in his room," the first voice said. "Get lost."

"HIEIIIIIIIIII!"

"Hey, don't be a coward. I'd like to talk to you face to face," Shadow called.

"Coward? I'm not a coward!"

"You seem like it to me... Trapping us in a room with no doors and talking to us through some intercom. Afraid of us, eh?"

"Fine!" the girl's voice snapped. The next thing Shadow knew, she and her group of 'rescuers' were standing in a room full of control panels, screens, blinking lights, and buttons. Several other girls were wandering around pushing buttons and looking at screens.

"Hi-tech, don't you think?" Shadow said to Eclipse.

"Uh-huh."

"What year is it, would you mind me asking?" Shadow asked in a British accent. "And even if you do mind me asking, it's too late now, cuz I already asked, and you couldn't stop me."

"Shut up, girl. Who do you think you are just appearing on private property in a time machine?" the girl asked.

"Well, I think... last time anybody called me by name, I think I was Shadow," Shadow said. "So I'm supposing that's who I think I am."

"Bakayarou!" Eclipse snapped. She turned to the girl. "We are a bunch of innocent travelers who just happened across this suspicious-looking building in the middle of a forest in 2010 while we were looking for lost treasure."

"Hiei is treasure?" Shadow said blankly.

"Hiei? Damn, I knew it. You've come for some stupid rescue mission. I'm afraid you have to die," the unidentified girl said. She pulled a gun out of her belt.

"Ah ha ha ha... I think not," Shadow said. "You see, I am immortal. I cannot die, except by those who know how to kill me."

"Shadow... What is your problem?" Eclipse asked. Shadow's eyes widened and she lunged out of the way just as a beam of light shot out of the gun. It trimmed a bit of hair off the top of Yahiko's head and fried the opposite wall.

"HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?" Shadow screamed.

"Guns kill everyone," the girl retorted.

"Ah."

The girl turned and aimed at Shadow again. She jumped up onto a panel and dodged the shot. Of course, when jumping on a panel covered in buttons, you're bound to step on some. Shadow stepped on quite a few, rather lucky buttons, and a monitor turned on. Of course, she didn't see this, because she jumped down and took off running, beams of light energy stuff at her heels.

"Shadow! It's Kurama!" Eclipse yelled. Shadow stopped dead. Then she quickly unstopped and jumped in the air to dodge another shot.

Hiei stared at the monitor that had just lowered down from the ceiling, as did everyone else. Suddenly, an image showed up and his jaw dropped.

Eclipse. And some other girls he didn't know, along with some kid.

"Yahiko! Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin said.

"Kenshin?" came Kaoru's voice. She ran to the monitor and stared. She started crying. "Kenshin, I'm so happy to see you!"

Sano grinned. "Hey, Jo-chan!" he called.

"Sano! What happened?"

Suddenly, Kaoru was pushed out of the way and Hiei heard Shadow's voice... in a British accent.

"No time for that now, chums! Gotta run!" she said. She vanished off the screen and all they could see was walls and blinkie lights. Then Shadow's face appeared back on the screen.

"We're kind of in the middle of being shot at, savvy? Rescue you later, chums!" Shadow said. Hiei was relieved to see her. It obviously showed...

"That's Shadow, isn't it?" Sano said, more of a statement of fact than a question.

"Hai. How could you tell?"

"Maybe it had something to do with that big grin on your face when you saw her," Sano taunted. Hiei realized he was smiling and quickly stopped and turned his back. Sanosuke just laughed.

"I can't believe we have to rely on Shadow to get us out!" Yusuke was saying. "Shadow of all people!"

"At least she got here! Give her credit for that, at least," Kurama said, smiling.

"Koenma probably transported her."

Shadow ran by on the screen. A girl with a gun chased after her. A second later, Shadow came back to the screen and pushed a few buttons on the panel below it. The next thing anybody knew, they were all in a big white room. "All" meaning: Hiei and the guys, Shadow and her group, and all the nameless fanatics.

Hiei stepped forward and ran into a force field. He sighed.

Shadow and the other girls (and Yahiko) were all trapped on the other side of the force field.

"TIME TO KICK SOME ASS!" Shadow screamed. Her group all took fighting stances (except for kitsune-sensei Megumi). The other girls all took stances as well. They stood and glared at each other. Seconds passed. Minutes ticked by. Hours turned into days and days turned into weeks and really it was only about two or five minutes that went by.

Finally, Shadow got sick of waiting. She let out a loud insane laugh in an evil tone that signified impending doom to whomever got in her way. Her war cry.

"MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

She then proceeded to stand up perfectly straight and tall, bow, and start doing an Irish tap dance thing across the floor while singing an opera-like stream of German insults and curses in an Australian accent. Which, if you think about it, would be hard.

Everybody was so stupified, confused, fascinated, and embarrassed with Shadow's antics they forgot they were supposed to be fighting.

She got across the floor, stopped dead in front of the leader girl (as in, no more dancing, singing, or foreign accent), and bowed again, knocking her head off the other girl's. Of course, Shadow's thick skull needs much more than 800 blows with an iron pole to injure it, so knocking her head off some wimpy girl's skull wouldn't hurt. But the other girl seemed slightly woosy.

She then began a Mexican dance of sorts in circles around the entire group. Eclipse was sick of staring. She wanted to boot some head. She charged with a yell and attacked the nearest girl. This threw the entire rescue team into fight mode (once again excluding kitsune-sensei Megumi) and they attacked. Shadow was still doing a Mexican dance, however, this time singing one of the many Goldfish Crackers' commercial jingles in Italian.

Hiei watched her, embarrassed beyond anything imaginable by her dancing, proud that she'd gotten this far, and angry at her stupidity, all at the same time. Odd. Heck, everybody was watching Shadow. Especially the ten or something girls she was dancing circles around.

"SHADOW! STOP DANCING AND FIGHT!" Hiei finally screamed, sick of watching her dance like Elvis Presley whilst singing "This is the Song that Never Ends" in French. She froze in the position she was in, then stood straight up, and unexpectedly punched one of the girls right in the face.

"HEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" she screamed. Then she did a mosh-pit kinda thing and threw herself on top of them. She pinned one down and strangled her, laughing like a lunatic the entire time.

"Muwaha ha ha! Mahahaha! Mwahahaha! Mahamaha! GAHAHAHAHA!"

Once the girl had had her head beaten off the floor for five mintues straight, and Shadow was satisfied that she was thoroughly unconscious, she stood up and dragged one girl off to the side and began to give her instruction in break dancing.

She did a demonstration. Then she gestured for the girl to try. For some reason, the girl complied. The second she was on the ground, Shadow jumped on top of her with both feet and started jumping up and down, laughing insanely.

Meanwhile, Kaoru, Yahiko, and Eclipse were bringing down some major whoop-ass on the other girls. There were three left, not counting the one Shadow was jumping up and down on.

Which, speaking of jumping up and down, Shadow was still jumping up and down. The girl was thoroughly flattened, and she was starting to turn into goo.

"SHADOW, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? SHE'S DEAD, OKAY?" Hiei screamed.

"I think... I see where you get your violence from, Hiei-san," Kenshin said. Everybody was staring in horror as the girl turned into a puddle of slimey bloody goo on the floor under Shadow's feet.

"SHADOW! SHE'S DEAD! ECLIPSE, STOP HER!"

Before Eclipse could reach Shadow, she stopped jumping. She walked over to the force field, panting, and flattened her face up against it.

"I see dead people," she whispered. "... Wait... You look somewhat familiar. Have I harassed you before?" Before Hiei could answer, Shadow quirked an eyebrow, reached into her coat pocket, and pulled out an orange.

"Mmmm... Vitamin O... For orange..." She proceeded to gnaw at it until she broke through the skin. Then she proceeded to pull the skin off bit by bit and spit it on the floor. Finally, she was down to the fruit. She glanced around, then darted to a corner, turned her back on everybody, and shoved the entire thing in her mouth. Whole. After that, she swallowed it whole and danced back over to the force feild.

"Hello, chum," she said in her British accent. "Long time no see, eh?"

"Are you okay?" Hiei asked.

"Of course I am, Hiei! I'm just happy is all," Shadow said in her normal voice. "And I like to eat oranges."

"Sigh."

"So, you're not stuck in 1844 anymore, huh?" Shadow asked.

"1844? What?"

"Um... 2010."

"We're still in 2010."

"Oh yeah. Come with me," Shadow said. "I know the way out." She got down low and stalked out of the room through a door that wasn't there. In other words, she ran into a wall.

"Shadow..." Eclipse said.

Meanwhile, Kaoru and Yahiko and Megumi had been haivng a nice little reunion with Kenshin and Sano over a few feet away from everyone else.

"Wait! These people had these little controlly thingies in their pockets," Shadow said. She lunged at the nearest girl and pulled a small portable control panel out of her pocket.

"Let's see, I'd say this button would do it," she said. She pushed a button labeled "out."

The room dematerialized and they were back out in the forest with their time machine.

"Ah. Who here is a tech genius?" Shadow asked, thrusting her fist up in the air. "THAT WOULD BE ME! ME! WORSHIP ME, I AM ALL MIGHTY! HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM ORANGES?"

"...Don't you mean apples?" Eclipse asked.

"Whatever! They're both vegetables!"

"...They're fruits..."

"Don't get smart with me!"

"If I were getting smart with you, how would you of all people be able to tell?"

"GRRRRR!"

"So, Shadow, how did you get this time machine?" Kurama asked quickly to stop Shaodw from tearing off Eclipse's head.

"I'm resourceful," Shadow said. "There was this kid and he had a time machine, and now he doesn't and I do."

"You stole it?"

"The book told me to," Shadow accused.

"Are you not in the least bit happy to see these guys?" Eclipse asked. "Cuz you aren't acting any different than you did while they were gone."

"I'm not?" Shadow said cluelessly. "Okay." She lunged at Hiei and tackled him in a huge hug. And they lay there with their arms wrapped around each other for a minute or so. Then Eclipse started to get impatient.

"Okay, Shadow..." she said.

Shadow kissed Hiei on the cheek. She seemed all happy, until...

"DON'T EVER GET KIDNAPPED AGAIN!" she screamed suddenly. "I WON'T BE SO FORGIVING NEXT TIME!"

"It's not my fault! I was asleep!" Hiei said, startled.

"Yeah, yeah, excuses, excuses," Shadow said, standing up and pulling Hiei to his feet. "All aboard the time machine!"

The entire mob of people crammed themselves in the time machine (all, what, 18...?), Shadow pushed in a few numbers, and announced, "First stop, 2004 Reikai, as I have no idea what to do with about five of you."

"...How do you know which ones you don't know what to do with?" Eclipse asked.

"Run that by me again?" Shadow said stupidly.

"How do you know which ones you don't know what to do with?" Eclipse said, slower this time.

"I don't, but Kaoru said that Kenshin, Sano, and three others vanished from her time. Three vanished from my house. That leaves five out of thirteen. Simple math, really," Shadow said.

"Shadow! I'm proud of you! You didn't need anybody to think that up for you!" Kurama said teasingly.

"Yeah, shut your pie hole, fox," she said.

"I don't like pie."

"I do! I like apple pie, and cherry pie, and strawberry pie, and..."

Shadow kept talking as the time machine revved up and they were transported to 2004. She kept talking as they traveled to Reikai. She kept listing pies as they left Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, Miroku, Vash, and Wolfwood in Koenma's office and headed back to her front yard to take Kenshin's group back to 1880.

"And pizza pie! And chicken pot pie! And..."

She stopped and stared at the spot where they had landed the time machine. It was gone. And on her porch sat Vegeta. He looked pissed. Her jaw dropped. Then she thought of something.

"And I also like that one kind of pie with the ice cream and oreo cookie bits."

"SHADOW! For God's sake!"


Ha ha ha. Cliffhanger of sorts. Shadow's hyper, Vegeta is sitting on her porch looking pissed, and Kenshin's group is still in 2004 Tokyo instead of 1880 Tokyo where they belong. Hee hee... REVIEW OR DIE BY BEING STOMPED ON!