Happy Final Fantasy's

By: UberBurger and Panduh

Disclaimer:

Panduh: PUU-CHUU! *bounces around the room*

UberBurger: Er...did someone let her near the sugar?

Assistant: Sorry that was me.

UberBurger: - - Great, now she's going to be wired for the rest of the chapter.

Assistant: Yah, really sorry about that.

*fire alarm goes off*

UberBurger: And here come the sprinklers....

*sprinklers come on and soak them*

UberBurger: God hates me....*sulks off.*

Assistant: Uh..well...Panduh and Burger don't own Square-enix, Final fantasy 7, Final fantasy 8, or anything like that.

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Scene one: Nibelheim

Cid: It's a boring town and a boring life; times like these you need a Marbolo. *Puts cigarette in mouth*

Quistis: *approaches...from somewhere. Don't ask me where* You know...Smoking is bad for you.... *Whips the cigarette out of his mouth*

Cid: *stands there stunned* Who the hell are you Lady? Don't you understand that it's a boring town and a boring life and times like these a man needs a Marbolo?

Quistis: Well not anymore it will be, that is, when my fan-club talk show comes on air.

Cid: What Fanclub? It's a boring town and a boring life....

Quistis: (Is that all this man can say? - -;;;) The QFC! That's what! Now DANCE for you INSOLENCE!!!! *Starts snapping her whip at him*

Cid: @#?& lady!!! OW! Why cant you-ow! See that you've-@#?&!! Wrecked the silence around here??!!!

(Rufus steps in, once again, don't ask me from where.)

Background: SHINRA! SHINRA! SHINRA! SHIN-

Rufus: Shut up! God that stupid background noise has followed me EVERYWHERE!!

Quistis: (My next victim....)

Cid: *Quietly sneaks away*

Quistis: So....Lets see how well you dance...(Obscene amounts of violence are really good for releasing inner demons...)

Quistis: *raises whip but a random unnamed Shinra soldier jumps in the way*

Random unnamed Shinra soldier: NOOOOO!!!!! *slow-motion*

Quistis: ......*kicks the R.U.S.S in the nuts*

R.U.S.S: Owch...*limps away*

Yuffie: HE YAH! *Jumps in from nowhere* Stop villain! I saw what you did to Cid!

Quistis: (It's raining idiots today...) Oh boy...a Martial artist want to-bee. Like I don't get enough of that at home.

Yuffie: *Gets pissed off and punches Quistis, and a brutal cat-fight ensues*

Rufus: ....*puts hands on his head and sighs*

*The battle ends with Yuffie searching Quistis for Materia*

Yuffie: No MATERIA!!! NOOOO!!!!! *crys*

Quistis: *has a black eye* Wimp.

Yuffie: *sniffle* Am not!!!

Quistis: Are too!!!

Rufus: Will you women PLEASE shut up!!!!

(Cid sneaks back in)

Cid: Not such a boring town anymore, but still a boring life. Its times like these you need a marbolo. *Puts cigarette back in mouth*

Scene Two: Tifa's house.

Cid: Nothin' be a happen so I guess I'll take a nap. *yawns and falls asleep in Tifa's bed*

(Black-caped person comes on)

BCP: wa...sep...hi...ROTH!!!

Cid: *Snore* *snore* *snore*

BCP: SEP....HI....ROTH!!!!!

Cid: *snore* *snore *snore*

BCP: *Throws off cape and reveals that it's Tifa*

Tifa: GET OFF MY BED!!! *Jenova music plays in the background* *slams Cid off her bed*

Cid: *thud* *gets up* @#?&!!! @#?&!!! @#?&!!!!

Cid: Why did you wake me up from my @#?& sleep %^*&$!!!!

Tifa: WHAT was THAT???!!! *Kicks him in the nuts*

Cid: ah....*crumples over*

*Jedi person appears*

JP: Cid...use the force......

*Jedi person disappears*

Cid: *gets up, does some flamboyant and totally useless martial art moves*

Tifa: .........*pokes him*

Cid: *falls over* Owch.....

Tifa: *sighs* Cid, where's Cloud?

Cid: *groan*

Tifa: WHERE'S CLOUD!!!!

Cid: *slightly delirious* Well...there are plenty of clouds in the sky......

Tifa: NO! Where's THE Cloud?

Cid: Oh...you mean the big cloud.....

Tifa: NO! I mean the person Cloud! Cloud Strife!!!

Cid: (There's a cloud named Cloud Strife?)

Tifa: *sighs and puts her hand on her head oh-so-dramatically* You would never understand our LOVE bond....

Cid: (She's in love with a cloud? Strange woman)

Tifa: Just never mind. Will you please get OUT OF MY HOUSE SO I CAN GET SOMETHING DONE????!!!

Cid: pfft...women. *leaves*

(Just as leaves Cloud peeks over a chair as Tifa plays horrible piano)

Piano: BANG BANG! BAM BAM!!

Cloud: *groan* (tries to escape through the door)

Tifa: (turns around) CLOUD! There you are!!! (grabs him*)

Cloud: NO! AHHH!!!!! (In a panic he hits her with his buster sword)

Tifa: OW!!! (Falls over)

Cloud: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!!!!! (Runs away)

Cid: *comes through the door again* Hey Tifa, want a Marbolo?

Tifa: *twitch* *twitch*