Disclaimer:

Uberburger: *hiding in a closet and writing by candle-light* Day two in disclaimer camp.....Our drill sergeant is cruel and unusual....Sent out a sos and flushed in down the toilet.....currently hoping it will reach the sea.....

*closet door's fly open showing a very pissed off drill sergeant*

Drill sergeant: YOUR UP PAST CURFEW MAGGOT!!!! DROP AND GIVE ME 20 DISCLAIMERS!!!!

Uberburger: I DO NOT OWN SQAURESOFT; I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT, I DO NOT OWN SQUARESOFT!!!!!!!!

Uberburger: *passes out from lack of breath*

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Scene 5: Midgar, sector 7 slums.

Cid: *cough* It smells like crap down here.......

(Sector 7 slum guy approaches)

S7G: That's because it IS crap!!! Want some?

Cid: Er....maybe later.

*Quistis comes with a gas mask on, camera crew in tow*

Quistis: Welcome to QFC!! Today we bring you down to where it all happens! You guessed it!

Quistis: THE SLUMS! Where the crap flows! Today we're in sector 7, and since Cloud never visited Don Coreno's mansion, the plates will be falling soon! (Of course they fall anyway). Cloud now suffers from a minor head injury, due to the tree incident yesterday. Once the plate falls there will be total chaos!!!!

*plates make rumble sounds*

Quistis: Well, now I had better take a step backwards and take cover to avoid injury. *hides behind a slide*

Cid: *stumbles backwards*

Cid: *gag* *cough*

Plate: RUMBLE!!!! BAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

*The plates crash down, and somehow Cid manages to avoid all the flying debris*

S7G: MY CRAP!!!! ITS RUINED!!!!!

Quistis: *notices Cid and the sector 7 guy for the first time* Ah! It seems we have to natives here! One appears to be gagging on the floor and...oh look its Cid Highwind!!!

Cid: Ahhhhh.....*barf*

S7G: Poor guy...gotta bad case of slum gas...all ya gotta do is punch him right here....*punches cid*

Cid: Ugghhhhhhhhh.......Where's my goddamn pack......

*marbolo pack sticking out of a pile of crap*

S7G: MY CRAP!!!

CID: MY PACK!!

Quistis: Like I said, 'once the plate falls there will be total chaos'.

Cid: GAWD!!! *sniffs pack*

Cid: This stuff smells like chocobo shit!

S7G: It is chocobo shit!!

Quistis: Ah....^^;;; that's enough for tonight folks. This is Quistis Trepe, signing off.

Camera guy #1: Cut!

Quistis: *steps in crap* aw....shit. Oh, by the way Cid, our show has taken legal ownership of your ship!

Cid: Gahhh.......*barfs*

Scene 6: The swamp next to Mythril mine cave

Yuffie: EW! *gets her foot stuck in marsh mush*

Quistis: ....tell me again Cid......WHY DID YOU PARK THE HIGHWIND IN THE MIDDLE OF A SWAMP, OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?!

Cid: I...!

Yuffie: OMIGOD!!! EEKKKK!!!!!

(Midgar zolom is comes up to them)

Midgar Zolom: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Yuffie: Its after me!

Quistis: AHHH!!!! HELP!!!!

*With their hands in the air Quistis and Yuffie run around in circles screaming while the Midgar Zolom chases after them)

Midgar Zolom: HISSSSS!!!!

*Two hours later there still running*

Yuffie: *pushes Quistis in the marsh mush* Every girl for herself!!!

Cid: *starts smoking cigarettes* (Amateurs.....)

(The Midgar zolom rises up to full height)

Quistis: O....O......Oh.....god.......

Cid: *cigarette falls out of mouth* MOTHER OF PEARL!!!!!!

Midgar zolom: Hiss.......

Yuffie: *falls in the mush with her hands on her head* WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!

Midgar Zolom: HISSSSSS *shows fangs*

The girls: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Midgar zolom: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The girls: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Midgar zolom: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Cid: AIIIIIIYYYYYYIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *screams like a little girl*

Midgar zolom: (eyes buldge) HISSSS!!!!!! *runs away*

Quistis: (Claps hands) Wow.....Cid, you actually did something right for once!!!!

*They both look down to Yuffie*

Yuffie: (Still has hands on head and screaming) WERE ALL GOING TO DIE! DIE!

DIE! I NEVER EVEN GOT ANY MATERIA!! WERE-

Quistis: Its gone Yuffie, you can shut up now.

Yuffie: -die! Huh? *looks up* Oh! Of course! *jumps up* Uhh....I knew that.

Cid: Oh lucky chocobos! There's the highwind!!!!

*they all run to the highwind*

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