I'm back! Sorry if this isn't as quick as any of you wanted, I have a sprained finger!

Thanks: Andrei: I had a feeling somebody would say that!

Chaos_of_the_demonic: I'll update as soon as I can!

Captain 'Phoenix' Aquamarine: You'll have to wait and read!

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Cardinal: I love that you love my fic!

ladyofviolet: Thanks for putting me on your favourites list!

Bronfelen: James probably has xMadgirlxitis; it's a spreading disease in the UK!

Puke Soup

Remus swore he heard his back crack, "Sirius, get off me! You're too heavy!"

Sirius, who was sitting on Remus's back and having a great time doing so said: "Am not!"

"It must have been that puke soup you had," muttered Remus.

Lily stepped back, "Puke soup?"

"Yeah, James, Sirius and I went to this hotel in Spain for our fifth year Summer holidays. It was terrible! I wish my sister hadn't even suggested that she took my friends and me on holiday with and her boyfriend. Peter was the lucky one because was on holiday with his family at the same time." Explained Remus.

"And what has this got to do with puke soup?" Alice asked, making sure that she was a least five feet away form Sirius and nearly fell over a chair in the process.

"Well, the food at the hotel was absolutely horrible! For starters it was soup, which James christened it as 'Puke Soup' and my God did it smell of puke!"  Retorted Remus. "And I haven't even described the rooms yet!"

"And we don't want know!" replied Lily.

"Was there anything worth to remember there that wasn't gross?" Alice asked.

"Yeah," said Sirius saying something in the conversation for an entire two minutes, (gasp!) "Remus got smashed."

Lily pretended to act shocked, "Remus Lupin got smashed? What is the world coming too? Next we'll have Sirius in Azkaban, then again… Sirius being locked up does have its advantages."

Lily pretended to faint and Alice tried to catch her but unfortunately one of Lily's horns on her purple wings stabbed Alice. "Ouch!"

"Very funny, Lily," said Sirius.

Remus got tired of being under Sirius's weight and tried push Sirius off of him, it worked better than Remus planned, Sirius was now on the floor and Remus had his foot resting on Sirius's back. "Now you know how I felt."

Sirius stood up knocking Remus onto the floor again and chuckled. "You were saying?"

"You won't be laughing for long," threatened Remus.

"Oh, won't I?" taunted Sirius.

Remus tripped Sirius by kicking Sirius's leg. "See, I told you that you won't be laughing for long."

Sirius stood up and picked up Remus who was now banging Sirius's back. "Now try to stop me laughing," Sirius cackled. Sirius carried Remus up the stairs despite his protests.

"Put me down!" demanded Remus.

"What? And ruin a perfectly good chance to gloat and torture you? I think not!"  Said Sirius.

"Hey!" began Lily. "Do you want some ice-cream?" she asked opening the freezer.

"Sure, I'll get the spoons," volunteered Alice. She opened one drawer and found forks. She opened the next and found knives and the next and found… err… you wouldn't want to know what she found! Eventually, Alice found the spoons.

Lily gave Alice a giant tub of vanilla ice cream. "So," she began.

"So," repeated Alice.

"LIIIIIIIIILY! ALIIIIIICE!" yelled Sirius. "HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Do you think we should help him?" Alice asked.

"Yeah," said Lily. Then a devious smile appeared on her face. "As soon as our wings disappear. After all, shouldn't Sirius be able to take on a fully grown werewolf?"

Alice stabbed her ice cream with her spoon and took a huge scoop out of the tub. "I've never had ice cream for breakfast before." She took another mouthful. "'Elwp mwe!" ((1))

"What?" Lily asked.

"'Elwp mwe!" she repeated. ((1))

"What did you say? It would really help if you took your spoon out of your mouth," commented Lily.

"Iw cwant!" shouted Alice. "'Pwoon stwuck twoo twongue!" she said indicated that her spoon would not come off her tongue. ((2))

Lily gasped. "Oh, Alice! Only you could get yourself into that kind of mess!"

"Aww ywou gwoing twoo 'elwp mwe?" Alice said impatiently. ((3))

"OK, OK," said Lily calmly. "Follow me to the sink."

Alice waddled to the sink with her tongue sticking out of her mouth and her silver spoon was firmly stuck to her tongue.

Lily turned the hot tap. "Lean over," she instructed.

Alice stepped back. "Nwo nway!" ((4))

"Do you want for the rest of your life to have wings on your back and a spoon stuck to your tongue?" Lily asked.

Alice shook her head and stuck tongue out very near the hot tap.

"Hold still," Lily commanded.

"Ahh!" Alice shouted as Lily tried gently pulling the spoon off. After many attempts they managed it.

"Better?" Lily asked.

Alice nodded. "But my tongue feels a bit numb!" 

"It would," Lily smirked. "'Elwp mwe!" ((1))

"If you're going to imitate me at least do it right," snapped Alice.

"You know that I'm…" but Lily never got to finish her sentence.

The door was being knocked so hard that it sounded as though someone was smacking the door. "Alice!" boomed a voice. "Let me in!"

Lily let out a scream, "God, what's happening?" she asked in a distressed voice.

The door let a large boom again and this time the door sounded as though someone was chopping the door to pieces.

This time both the girls screamed. Unfortunately the 'thing' turned the doorknob and swung the door open. A terrifying looking monster was staring at the floor. Its head was grey and its brown fur looked as though it had been moth eaten. Lily ran out of the kitchen as fast as she could, that left Alice with the monster. It looked up glaring its big grey eyes at Alice.

Oh, wait a minute, it wasn't a monster, it was worse: it was Frank's Mother.    

***

I know, I know, not very long. But it's quality not quantity, right?

TRANSLATIONS:

((1)) "Help me!"

((2)) "I can't! My spoon is stuck to my tongue!" (Yes, Alice did miss a few words out).

((3)) "Are you going to help me?"

((4)) "No way!"

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