Chapter 3: We're Off to Sue Farquad

Donkey, Harry, and Shrek walked around the room a bit, looking for the princess. It didn't occur to them she might be near the window.
Finally, Harry found her.
"Ahh! It's Voldemort!" he screamed. Donkey and Shrek came running, eager to find out who this Voldemort was.
"No, that's the princess," Shrek corrected. Harry eyed her carefully.
"You're right."
Donkey started yelling to wake the princess up. The princess obviously woke up, because she started puckering up her lips. Harry grabbed her pony tail and tugged her off the bed.
"Wake up!"
"WHAT?!" Princess Fiona screamed.
"Come, Princess Fiona. We must set off on a noble quest to take you back to Lord Shortstop," Shrek announced, trying to impress the princess.
"Wait a minute- I'm being rescued by an ogre, donkey, and a kid in glasses?" Princess Fiona asked doubtfully.
"Yes, now come on!" Harry said impatiently.
"Works for me," the princess said.
They all happily skipped out of the castle, across the bridge, and onto the trail.

***

"We're off to sue Lord Farquad, Lord Farquad," Donkey and Harry sang.
"Would you stop singing?!" Shrek yelled, "Fiona's sleeping," he said more quietly, looking at Princess Fiona who was being carried by him.
"On the road again," Donkey finished dramatically, then smiled, "All done."
Just then a green figure on a rope came swinging through the forest in front of the group. Yodeling could be heard.
"Looks like Godzilla!" Harry said, a bit frightened.
Princess Fiona jumped out of Shrek's arms and landed in a karate pose. The green figure jumped off the rope and landed in front of Fiona.
"Never trust a man in green tights," Shrek whispered to Donkey and Harry, "It's just scary."
"Caution!" Fiona warned, "I know karate and six other Japanese words!"
The mysterious green man in green tights fell over laughing, and soon laughed so hard he couldn't breathe, suffocated, and either passed out or died. Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, and Harry walked past.
"We're off to sue Lord Farquad, Lord Farquad," Donkey and Harry started up again. Soon, Princess Fiona was singing with them so Shrek could not protest. So, Shrek joined in.
The sun began to go down, and Princess Fiona, who had not been paying attention, was suddenly immersed in a shower of light.
"Wow," Harry gasped, "Is she an angel?"
"I bet she's a glow stick!" Donkey exclaimed.
Then Fiona landed on the ground, as a green blob.
"Shrek, can you trust a green lady in a white green dress?" Harry asked cautiously.
"She's an ogre! Like me! Whoopee! I would get all mad that she didn't tell me, but I'm too happy! Whoopee!" Shrek started dancing, much out of character.
"Princess! Princess! Stay away from the light!" Donkey started having a panic attack. Then the Ogre-Princess stood.
"I would have told you sooner, but I just didn't know you well enough," she said sadly.
"She's on ogre!" Shrek sang.