Trilogy by: Crystal Princess Ranma
Okay, people, LAST CHAPTER...um...Inuyasha Sniffs a Nun, Kanna Gets Lost In Toys R Us, Hiten and Manten Buy Pants, Sesshoumaru Chaperones a Kindergarten Fieldtrip, and Jaken Becomes a Slutty Pop Singer... ::sigh:: when will I be released from this hell? I guess I'd better stick to bein' Shan-chan's minion, who writes meaningless stories just for her sick amusment...seeing that my last attempt of writing a story backfired in my face...Course, sooner or later, I'm probably gonna be snatched from my bed, and confined to her room...Damn that closet of hers... ________________________________________________________________________

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin called from behind the demon. "What are we gonna do, today? Steal some more Shikon Shards?" she skipped along side him. Sesshoumaru didn't say anything. "Rin..." Jaken sighed. "How are we supposed to steal Shikon Shards, if we hardly know where we are?" he held his staff tightly, and smiled. "and if we were to plunder them, I would be Lord Sesshoumaru's pick." The little girl snorted.

"You can't do anything, you stupid frog."

Sesshoumaru turned around. "Rin, why don't you go play with those children, over there?" he asked camly, pointing to a group of kindergarteners in a nearby field. "no need to get mad over something so trivial." he looked to Jaken.

"We both know he's worthless."

Rin smiled, and obeyed him. She ran off, shouting at the top of her lungs. Jaken sat on grass, in the shade of a tree. "Must she be so rude?" he asked, looking to his master. "She is but a child." he told the frog. "She cannot help it." Jaken grunted, and he and Sesshoumaru stared at the field in silence. After awhile, they could both see that Rin was coming back. "Sesshoumaru- sama!" she called to him once again. "Sesshoumaru-sama, those kids over there want you to help them." she pointed to them, all waving. The demon followed Rin, and were greeted by a teacher. "Hi." she told them. "So, you're volunteering to chaperone this fieldtrip, huh?" she asked. "We're one person short." she smiled, handing him a stack of papers. "Would you please sign here?" she told him, pointing to the 'X'. "And here." she said again. "Here too."

2 minutes later, 2 buses arrived, and circled around the field. "Okay!" the teacher shouted. "Everyone on the bus!" the little kids did as they were told, and climbed aboard. "Thanks for chaperoning." she told Sesshoumaru. "Rin, you go on too." she scooted her to the bus. "We're going to The Monkey Fair, to visit the rabid monkeys!"

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"Hiten-anchan, where are we?" Manten asked, looking around the strange place. "Super Target." Hiten answered. "You and I need a pair of pants." he said, looking around. "But, Hiten-anchan, don't you have pants already?" Manten said, examining women's underwear, stretching them out. Hiten sighed. "We need more than one, you know." he said, eyeing some leather pants.

"What about a shirt too?"

Hiten smirked. "No." he said, flatly. "I only have 20 bucks, you know." he leafed through a rack of extra-extra large pants. "You'd probably look nice in blue-jeans, Manten." he shoved him in a dressing room. "Put them on."

Manten came out 2 minutes later, showing off his "outfit". Hiten laughed, and agreed. "Okay, we'll take them." Hiten discovered and bought a pair of Winnie the Pooh overalls. "Will that be cash, or debit?" asked their cashier, Chisato. "If you sign up for our no-risk trial, you can get 10% percent off on our rabid man- eating shrew."

Hiten nodded. "No thanks." he said. "I think we'll just get the pants for now." he handed her his money, and grabbed the bag. Chisato frowned, then smiled. "Oh, okay...well hope you enjoy your pants." he drummed her fingers on the red desk. "Have a nice day, oh and...watch out for clowns." she said, whispering. "They steal sea-monkeys, and underwear."

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"Where is he? I thought Jeffrey the Giraffe was s'posed to be here." Kanna clutched her basket, and kept walking. "This place is too big. How am I gonna find him?" she looked down aisle by aisle, and fidgeted. "In every ad I see in the newspaper, and in every Toys R Us commercial on T.V., Jeffrey the Giraffe is ALWAYS there. Why can't I find him now?"

Her basket was getting kind of heavy to push, considering that she had grabbed almost every toy in the whole store. Even a "Gangster Bitch" Barbie Doll, complete with "Tupac Ken". (Gomen, I had to put that in there, it's one of my "special words" that I constantly use. Ignore it...) She looked out of a nearby window, to see that the sun was setting. "I've been here 3 hours, and I don't see that damn giraffe! This isn't fair!"

"Attention ladies and gentlemen. It's 6:00. Closing time." A woman spoke over the loud P.A. system, trying to be heard, despite the friction. "We will re-open tommarrow at 10:00 p.m. Have a good night."

Kanna twitched. "Closing time?" she repeated, dumbstuck. "You mean I've walked around this stupid store, since 3:00 p.m., and it's Closing time?!" she clinched her fist so hard, her knuckles became white. "Stupid giraffe..."

As the last child exited the toy store, the lights dimmed, then went out. "Eh?" Kanna inquired, looking around, in the darkness. "Uh, is there anyone out there?" she called, trembling slightly. "Hello? HELLO?!"

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"Kagome? Where the hell are you?" the half-demon asked aloud, in hopes of getting an answer. "I don't believe this..." he grumbled.

"Where IS that bitch?"

Inuyasha crawled into town, nose on ground. "Feh." he said, lowly. "This obvoiusly isn't working." Still, he kept crawling, undiscouraged. He was still on the floor when he bumped into someone, seemingly taller them him. "Hmmm?" the demon asked, standing up.

A Nun.

A nun was smiling warmly at him. "God Bless You!" she said, holding out her hand--which Inuyasha refused to take. She raised an eyebrow, and kept talking. "Do you have any money for charity?" she took a basket from the tiny table, that was set in the back of her. "You know...yen." Inuyasha pushed the basket away. "Sure, Kagome." he said. "Like I give charity. I'd rather take it!" he smirked, and pulled the nun by the arm. "Let's go!" the hanyou growled. "The faster we find the Shikon shards, the faster I can become a full demon!"

The woman widened her eyes, and tried to release her arm out of Inuyasha's grasp. "Now, see here!" she yelled. "I'm not the 'Kagome' person, you speak of. Now unhand me, you monster!"

"Stop being so impossible!"

"Impossible?!"

"C'mon, bitch!"

"WHAT?!" The nun stared at him, mouth gaping open. "How--how dare you!" she screamed so loud, it even scared the youkai. Her face turned dark red, as she closed her eyes, and began to talk in hebrew. She then re- opened her eyes, yanked her arm out of Inuyasha's hand. "You're possessed!" she growled at him. I'm NOT this 'Kagome', you speak of, now would you please leave me be?"

Inuyasha twitched one ear, in confusion. Maybe she WAS telling the truth. She might not be Kagome. There was, he knew, one way to find out.

"Hold still."

"Huh?" the nun asked. "I thought you were going to leave, and keep your devilish thoughts to yourself."

"HOLD STILL!"

Inuyasha stuck his face out to the nun. His nosed wiggled and twitched. He repeated the process for approximately 3 seconds, and made a face. "Jeez...you WERE right when you said you weren't that wrench."

The old woman looked terrified, and flustered. She did the only thing she could think of at that point.

She kicked him.

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The crowd could be heard from probably miles, as thousands of men, women, and children, all chanted. Signs and posters in glitter shone in the glare of the lights. Boys held up there staffs that were being sold at the front. Blimps flew high above the crowd's heads, with headlines. "Jaken Live!" or "Jaken, the Fantastic Frog! Live at the T.D. Waterhouse!"

Inside his dressing room, Jaken was surrounded by make-up artists, and a stage manager, named "Ted".

"Jaken, sir, the show starts in 5 minutes. Don't you want some...jock straps for that...unique outfit?" he asked, nervously, afraid to look at him. Jaken smiled. "No thanks, Todd. I'm goin' all out!"

"It's Ted."

"So what?" Jaken hopped out of his chair, and opened he door. "Now if you all exuse me, I'm going to go please some fans." With that said, the frog waddled down the stairs, and into the stage entrance door.

"And now, it's time for what you've all been waiting for, the frog with the top-single hits, 'Frog Better Have My Money', 'Gay and Rainbows', and the remake of Michael Jackson's 'Beat It', which he has changed to 'Screw It', please welcome Jaken!"

The crowd roared with excitment, as the frog stood on a spinning platform, singing "Romantic Peak"...
*ahem* Yeah...It was a great night, until Jaken burst into flames, due to spontaneous combustion...You know, that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. A little freakish, and wrong, but when I started, I thought it would have no facilitation, whatsoever. I thought I'd never say it, but I wanna make another! How 'bout...Souta...shoplifts a uneutered hamster! WOO-HOO!

*****Krys-chan sama*****