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Chocolate covered pickles?! Yuck!
Mrs Longbottom was very aware of what was going on above her. She moved out the way just in time and the water spilled on Peter. "AAAHHH!" Peter shrieked.
"Now, now," said Mrs Longbottom. "It's only water."
Remus had appeared at just at the wrong time. "I guess I'll go get a towel from upstairs." He said seeing Peter looking like a drowned rat. Poor Remus, he had got the telling off of his life.
"REMUS LUPIN!" shouted Mrs Longbottom. "DID YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD GET AWAY THIS SO EASILY?! YOU ALMOST GOT ME WET!!"
"Remus!" called Alice. "Could you get me my foot cream?"
"Better go, duty calls," said Remus trying to run away from Alice's mad Mother-in-law as fast as he could.
"Hold on, Remus," Mrs Longbottom said with an evil smile on her face.
Sirius came bursting into the kitchen and then saw Mrs Longbottom. "Oh, I guess I'll leave you… three alone," he said casting a glance at Peter.
"Oh no, Sirius." Mrs Longbottom grinned showing her coffee stained teeth. "You are going to help Remus. I know you were in on this little joke too."
"Joke? What joke?" Sirius tried not to imagine what horrible plans Mrs Longbottom had in store for him. "Remmie, have you played a joke on Alice's lovely Mum without telling me?"
"Don't act innocent, Sirius." Mrs Longbottom took something out of her dark green handbag. "It'll make you help my Daughter-in-law and her friend more."
"What? Lily and Alice don't need help with anything!" protested Sirius.
"They do," muttered Remus.
"What? They're only pregnant women, they can do things for themselves," said Sirius sounding very bewildered.
"Only?!" Peter screeched. "My sister was pregnant once." He shuddered at the very memory of it. "My sister couldn't even walk, she just stayed in bed all day and ate chocolate covered pickles."
Sirius looked sick at the very thought of it. Remus shook his head, "That's what I was giving them last night."
"How come I didn't here any of this?" Sirius demanded.
"You were shouting death threats in your sleep, I decided that you were having a good time while you were asleep so I left you," replied.
"What?" Sirius furrowed his brow.
Remus rolled his eyes. "When you shout death threats in your sleep the next day you say that you have had a really good dream and when chat in your sleep you have had a nightmare and when you are quiet in your sleep you… you… you've never not talked in your sleep, I should know! My bed was next to yours for seven years!"
"It's kind of scary how much Remus knows about your sleeping habits, Sirius," Peter said.
"I think so too," Sirius retorted.
"Now that we've all had a talk let's get down to business," Mrs Longbottom said.
"What kind of business?" Sirius asked. "What are you making me, Remus and Peter do?"
"Peter will not be joining you two," Mrs Longbottom said. "He was innocent and I feel sorry for using him as an umbrella. I will make sure that he gets paid for what he did. I admire him for not shouting at me, it was quite spineless of me to use him."
"You make sound as though you were using Peter to get back at Mr Longbottom," muttered Remus.
Unfortunately for Remus, Mrs Longbottom's hearing was not that bad yet. "Excuse me!" she shouted. "How dare you! You wretched man!!! I cannot believe that you would say something like that!!!"
"She sounds almost as weird as this lady I met today," murmured Sirius.
Peter's ears pricked up. "Lady?" he asked. "Tell me, did she sound like she was talking in a baby voice and she overreacts if you ask her a quite simple question?"
"Well… yeah. How did you know?" asked Sirius.
"I'll tell you if you give me the full details of this prank you planned to use on Mrs Longbottom," Peter said.
"Fine," said Sirius in defeat. "Ever since Mrs Longbottom came to this house I've been dying to play a prank on her. Remus said that if he got the chance of Mrs Longbottom being alone in a room he'd prank her. Obviously he wouldn't do anything stupid like I would do like giving her wings but Remus would probably do something sensible like levitating a bucket of water above her head and spill it. You must have gotten in the way when he cast the spell and that's why you're wet. Any more questions?"
"One," answered Peter. "Do you still call Remus: Remmie?"
"Shut up, Wormtail," Sirius said.
"Do you still want to know about the girl?" Sirius nodded. "Okay. The lady you were muttering about isn't really a lady…"
"WHAT?! Oh no! Not another one!" Shouted Sirius. Mrs Longbottom stopped shouting at Remus. (Poor Remus!)
"Is something the matter, Sirius?" She actually sounded like a human with real feelings!
"No, of course not." Sirius gave her one of his famous grins. "I just have to talk to Peter."
"You can talk to Peter while you're doing your punishment," barked Mrs Longbottom.
"But…" Sirius tried to object.
"But nothing!" Mrs Longbottom gave him an icy stare. "You will look after my daughter and her best friend. You can do this by helping be hygienic so I want you help them with the most difficult part of their bodies to wash now that they are nearly nine months pregnant. Their feet."
***
Remus was the lucky one. He got to wash Lily's feet. Sirius got to wash Alice's feet. Guess who got to wash the girl with fungus on their feet? It was Sirius.
Sirius went into the bathroom where the foot cream was and he eyed a pair of rubber gloves. Sirius knew that Alice had cracked feet so he put them on. He took a large bowl and the foot cream and entered the second guest room. Peter had stayed in the room with Alice and he told Sirius that he would explain the weird woman situation to him while he was cleaning Alice's feet.
"Sirius," began Peter as Sirius winced as he took Alice's socks off. "Do you still want to know?"
"Duh," said Sirius and then he muttered a spell that gave him a nose peg out of thin air.
"Okay. The woman is called Madeline and she should be a called a girl," explained Peter.
"How?" Sirius wrinkled his nose as he saw the fungus on Alice's feet and shouted, "EEEEWWWW!!!! That's disgusting!" It was gross. Sirius did not shout like that for nothing. Alice's were hard and cracked. She definitely had a case of athlete's foot. Her feet were swelled up and it gave her feet a pinkish appearance. Her toenails were brown and cracked.
"It's not that bad," said Alice.
"You ever tried to clean your own feet?" Sirius asked.
Alice nodded.
"That's a surprise!" boomed Sirius while Alice sulked. "How old is this 'girl'?"
"Twelve," Peter answered.
"WHAT?!" Sirius shouted. "She looked older than I did."
"Potions accident," Peter replied. "It not only made her look older but it also damaged her brain."
"Then why isn't she at school?" Sirius queried.
"You have no sense in time, do you, Padfoot?" Peter gave Sirius no time to answer. "It's July! Of course the kid's not at school! Besides, she gets home schooled."
Sirius had an idea; he would use magic to wash Alice's gross feet. Mrs Longbottom burst into the room as soon as Sirius had taken his wand out of his pocket. "Ah ha!" she cried jubilantly. "I knew you'd use your wand!"
"I didn't!" protested Sirius.
"Right," said Mrs Longbottom very sarcastically, "then what's that in your hand?"
"I was about to use is my wand but you came in at just at the wrong time!" replied Sirius.
"It's true!" agreed Peter.
"Fine then," said Mrs Longbottom. "I believe in Peter because he is honest." She shouted a spell that brought Sirius' wand to her. "Now you won't be tempted, will you?" She left the room to torture Remus.
"It's not fair, is it?" Sirius asked.
"What's not fair?" Peter asked.
"Remus did the prank and I had nothing to do with it!" replied Sirius.
Peter brushed his hair out of his face. "Shouldn't he apologise? Unless it has anything to do with…"
"I know what you're going to say and it has nothing to do with what happened at Hogwarts!" Sirius shouted.
"What is this all about?" Alice asked.
"Nothing you need to know, Alice." Sirius squeezed the cream onto his covered hand and applied the cream onto Alice's foot. "This is so disgusting."
***
I am so, so, so sorry for being such a long time. My Mum had to go into hospital and I have been visiting her every night since Tuesday so I've been very busy. I've also had a ton of homework. Damn teachers!!! I know it isn't as good but it'll get better, I promise!!!
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