Disclaimer: Yeah. Whatever.

A/N: Just a little angst thing I wrote for the World Book of Books Day. A look into Aia's thoughts. Also happy birthday to me! I'm now 15! Mwahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!

Squirrelsgoweeeeeeeeeeeeee!! means actions

ohmygodtherewasthisguyandhesaidI'vegotpopcorn! means thoughts.

I sighed and gazed out at the children playing, watching them run around with no cares, no worries, and certainly a normal family and a mindful of wonderful memories.

'Yeah, they live normal lives. No blanks in their pasts to keep them up at night. Why should they? They have wonderful, normal lives!'

I gazed down at my metal arm and leg and felt along the half of my face that was metal.

'No scars like this haunt their dreams, no nightmares of a distant past that I can't even remember. No tormented screams or longful wishes to at least remember something.'

I glared at the people briefly, before reasoning that it wasn't their fault.

'Not their fault their lives are perfect. No moving from house to house, waking in up in a cold sweat. Besides, who can I tell? No one here would understand. Oh sure, they'd sympathize but then they'd say it's not as bad as... well it is! That bad and worse. No one except a medabot and a robot parrot are alive that remember my past! OUR past. No one at all. And....I love them dearly, but everyone just seems to think that Rokusho is the one who needs care. Yes I'm jealous. I admit, but I have a good reason to be! Rokusho at least remembers what happened to us, and every time I say I wish I could remember it, he goes off about how I'm lucky I don't. Lucky? Lucky?! How is being knocked out and left with horrific scars when you're only two years old lucky?! I'm labelled a freak in front of me and behind my back. I have no family to turn to for comfort and the only one I could thinks this hell I'm in is lucky?! '

I hit a pillow in anger, trying to calm myself. An angry teen with medabot parts isn't a good thing. I decide to go out. I slip on my shoes and just walk out onto the path. I just let my feet carry me., they'd always knew what was best for me, so I let my body run on auto pilot whilst I focused on my thoughts.

'I can't believe God wanted to make my life this hellish. No parents, no family, no one that can understand or cares. My pride and strength are the only things that hold me together; if I lost them I would be lost. Unfortunately my pride has made thick walls around my senses, so I've hardly cried despite my sadness. Sometimes... I wish I WOULD cry. Just to let out some of this pain. Just to have a warm, caring shoulder to cry on to weep all my sadness out onto and begin my life fresh and new with a heart unlade by grief.'

I sat by the river and stared out blankly; I blocked all my senses to the world and listened only to my thoughts. No matter how depressing they were to listen to.

'After all, I'm the only one who'll listen to them. Yeah, I'd seen those counsellor people before going to each new 'home' and each time they ask the stupidest questions with little or no reference to what I've said. I might as well speak to the painted wall behind them fore all they listen. Might as well KILL myself in front of them and they still wouldn't notice....'

I sat up. I knew I'd never resort to a mere material thing for happiness like smoking or alcohol. They were weak. And I'd seen the results for all of it. Not something I'd want to do. But suicide... the thought both delighted and scared me.

'Delight to be rid of this sadness and to be with my loved ones again and fright because....what? Because of what? Fright of the unknown. Fright I might be sent to another place and be lost to time and everyone forever. Oh God!'

I choked on a sob as confusion muddled my thoughts and feelings. I felt something telling me not to ever cry but I just told it to shut up. Then I felt something, or someone, rub my shoulder gently. I jumped and prepared to attack whatever it was. But I froze. Before me stood Rokusho, his eyes filled with empathy as he coaxed me into his lap. We never spoke, not once. He held me like a small child would be held by a father and gazed at me with sorrowful eyes. In his eyes, I saw all that had happened to him, all the pain he had gone through through all these years and I finally realised what he meant by I was lucky. I couldn't hold back any longer, the solid walls that had held back my emotions for so long finally tumbled down and I held on tighter to Rokusho. I cried sorrowfully into his caped shoulder, letting my tears show all my pain and grief. He just let me cry; let me get out all my anguish on his shoulder as I clung to him like a child. Which was just what I was, a scared, lonely child who'd been forced to endure what not even adults should. Then, when I had no more to tell, I fell asleep. It's strange to think of it this way, but I felt warm and safe with Rokusho; like a missing piece of me had just come back from the dark recesses of my broken memory and wedged itself back into my life. Then, whilst sleeping, I had a dream which settled my mind.

I was walking through a black corridor filled with doors, but none of them would open to me. I pulled against all of them with all my strength but they remained shut. Now resorting to just walking along, I came upon a white door, such a contrast to all the black around it that it glowed, I felt compelled to try this door and, to my surprise, it opened. I stepped in and was blinded by the brightness of the room. When my sight returned, I looked around and found everywhere was made of pure white fluff with a bright clear blue sky above me. I gaped up at it as two white figures appeared in front of me, one was a man with a very pale complexion, deep brown eyes and short deep black hair and a women with icy blue eyes that rivalled my own and very long blonde hair. Both of them had angel wings and they bodies were surrounded by light, I couldn't recognise them but they were familiar. I smiled at them and went to greet them. They motioned for me to not speak and turned to show me something, I tilted my head and looked around them at an image. An image of the woman, man and a small me... I realised who they were and fell to my knees with shock. They both stared at me with looks that whispered "we love you" before flying away back up into the blue sky. Suddenly everything blurred, yet my mind stayed sharp.

I awoke to find myself in Rokusho's arms still, he smiled at me knowingly and I gazed back warmly at him. My heart felt warm. Warmer than it had ever felt in a long time and I felt the weight that I longed to get rid of being cast aside and, leaning up, I hugged Rokusho tightly.

Well... what do you think? If you expected a sad ending where Aia kills herself then forget it! I don't do sad endings, not my thang! lol anyway review and tell me what you think and I'll get on and write the next plotless chapter! ^_____^