Disclaimer: *Sparrow and his crew nonchalantly go about their business, having no knowledge of the great danger that lies in wait for them…from the two non-owning-PotC authoresses lurking aboard the Pearl…*

Authors Note: Well…down to half my numbers…but I'm sure if I let this sit here and didn't update I'd probably get more…but I can't wait to see your reactions. Been holding onto this scene for some time…*grins deviously* It's too fun! Though Kendra would have my head…I'm sure you'll all love it! On with the tortu- er…I mean… chapter!

Four-Sided Eyes

(a.k.a. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the fangirl)

Chapter 29: Scheming and Deceiving

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(Kendra's POV…)

That woman…she mumbles under her breath for hours on end of how she really wishes she could truly see me as what I am…and then after I get tired of listening to her mutter to herself and ask her to speak clearly of what's bothering her…she does this.

Of all the requests to make. Of all the ways to do it…

But at least I'll be over and done with this whole situation.

Though if perhaps I had tried just a bit harder I wouldn't be in this at all…

Sighing, I resolved myself to my fate. My choices had already been made - or forced upon me by lack of suitable results to a varying choice - and there's not much I can do to change it now. At least I can be glad there was no corset involved.

Janette had fussed over me for near an hour - much too long to think about if you ask me - and I could take it no longer.

"Enough, Fluff, stop." I muttered.

She most likely was grinning from ear to ear and continued to do…something with my hair. I don't think I really like this turn of events.

"Honestly," I moaned. "I don't think I can stand any more of this. Haven't you primped me enough?"

"I'm almost done," Janette seemed to beam with pride. "Oh, I can't wait for you to see the finished product."

I narrowed my eyes and glared at the wall I'd been staring at for far too long. "I can't wait to get out of this blasted…dress."

"But it looks lovely on you, Pierre. Really, I'm sure you'll like how you look."

Letting out a small scoff, I crossed my arms over my chest and longed for my usual clothing. This dress had been one of Janette's older ones, and I had at least assured that I would not be wearing pink. So we'd settled on a dark blue dress. Unfortunately, this still had quite a bit of ribbon and lace on it. But that was a minimum compared to her dresses. Janette had quickly converted it to my size, it was amazing what she could do with a needle and thread.

You'd think the girl was mothering me…and there is no way I'm going to be her little dress up model after this incident. She'll finish, I'll look in the mirror, she will try to primp me more, I'll do my stupid twirl for her, and then the business will be done and I will be free to leave, dressed in my proper attire.

How I long for just breeches…if nothing else, breeches.

Janette finished whatever it was she was doing, and took a step back. "All right, I think you're ready. Go take a look in the mirror."

Sighing, I got to my feet and was glad to still be barefoot. If forced to wear some of those shoes Janette had on…I doubt I could keep my balance. I walked hesitantly over to the mirror, and stepped into it's view, staring.

I'd never…ever…looked like this. Glancing over my shoulder, I was assured that no one was casting the image that faintly resembled me. I even reached out and touched the mirror, to make sure someone wasn't standing behind it. Nay…that's me. Looking closer, I could see how it was still me. First time in a dress and I wasn't being suffocated yet. Perhaps this wouldn't be the death of me.

The dark blue dress flowed out and made a pool of material about me, even with Janette's hemming. There was matching trim running behind the neck, and going down in the front in two parallel lines, outlining the upper bodice and continuing downward. A bit of white lace bordered the back of the neck and the sleeves. Itchy, irritating stuff, really. And the bodice….strips of the same lace made rows of alternating white and blue. Too intricate for my taste. And this pathetic ribbon she tied around my neck…it's almost cutting off my air supply. A bow? How…not me.

A quick glance in Janette's direction confirmed that she was busy picking up the scraps that had been cut off the dress to make it fit me. I suppose I can risk a quick one, despite how odd the dress is…

So taking a breath, I spun. And reveled as the skirts twisted and flowed around me. My hair, half of it up in a small bun, and the rest flowing loose, swirled about my face and gave a very…feminine - almost alluring - look to me. Strange… almost… disturbing.

I stopped and grinned at the mirror. I may look like a buffoon…but at least now I've fulfilled that pathetic desire to spin in a full skirt. I looked and saw Janette smiling at me.

Great. She saw me. Perfect.

I gained a more dignified stance. "Had to test out my movement limitations."

"I'm sure you did," her eyes made me edgy. Something about them had a very disturbing knowing quality to it.

At least she can't talk to any of the crew…looking back to the mirror, I was very glad Janette spoke French and only French. A sigh escaped and the door creaked open.

I have never known such tension. Not even when Sparrow and myself had a staring contest upon me waking up after me going overboard. I fled behind the mirror, peering out hesitantly. I could've sworn I locked that door…

And in waltzed the one person I really didn't wish to see. Especially in this situation.

Sparrow.

In all his glory. He scanned the room and let his eyes rest on me.

"What's the matter Pierre? I thought you the type to charge the door or give a death threat by now, not cower behind a mirror. And…what did you do to your hair?"

My eyes narrowed dangerously. Sparrow doesn't realize just how thin the ice he treads is. "My hair is my business alone. Leave and I'll come find you in a bit. Just… leave. The door was locked for a very good reason."

Janette obviously didn't realize what my hiding meant…and she hurried to my side, grabbing my arm. And tried to pull me into sight.

Of Sparrow.

Oh no…

I resisted. "Knock it off, Janette. I don't want Sparrow to see me like this! Come on, let go!"

"But Pierre…you look beautiful. Surely your captain should see you."

"Not like this!" I stammered, and gasped in horror as Sparrow was standing beside Janette and looking me over.

Oh…

No…

A squeak escaped…and I don't know how I made such a sound…

Scrambling back, I ran into a wall and looked to Sparrow with an expression I'm sure was a mix of horror, embarrassment and…well, lovely blushing cheeks.

"Well now. A lady. What shall we call you? Pirouette?"

I couldn't take it. My decency was small, but it demanded retribution.

So I did the one thing I could think of.

Charged him.

Sparrow didn't see it coming, until I had landed firmly on his stomach and was about to pummel him. But he reacted too quickly and grabbed my wrists, keeping me from doing much more as I pinned him to the floor.

"Calm yourself, Pirouette, wouldn't want to muss up your pretty gown there."

"You mangy cur! Don't you mock me! I only dressed up like this because it would stop Janette from looking at me all the time and continually wondering if I really was female!"

"You could have just taken off your shirt, you know."

A growl rose from my throat and I doubled my efforts to throttle him. "You'll pay for that comment Sparrow!"

His grin grew. "Of course, love."

Much to my dismay - which was overflowing at the moment - Sparrow started to sit up, and despite my efforts to pin him down, he got up and kept a hold of my wrists. My feet dangled as he held me up, finally setting my feet on the ground again after I'd started to kick effectively. Of course I thrashed, cursed, and made lots of threats, but Sparrow only smiled and continued along.

He tipped his hat to Janette, who looked quite disturbed, and then started to head for the door.

I let out a little gasp, doing my best to use my weight to keep me from going out… there

No…not the crew. Sparrow was bad enough…but the entire crew? Unfortunately, Sparrow was bigger and heavier than I, and no matter how strong I was, those two factors condemned me.

"No Cap'n…please…no…have you no mercy?"

He paused for a moment, his gold teeth sparkling in the nearing sunlight. "No, that would be a feminine trait. Your kind's specialty."

I squirmed, I dug my heels into the deck, I flailed, practically tripped over the long skirt…all to no avail. And found myself blinking at the bright sun.

In plain sight. Of the entire crew.

I want to curl into a ball…and hide in a corner.

Sparrow continued on, nodding to the crew and pretending not to notice the stares I was receiving. He was heading for the helm…oh please no.

He stopped once we reached it, and squeezed me to his side. "Gentlemen, we have a new passenger on board!"

I felt myself grow pale…and my mental list for things to get back at Sparrow for just got longer…

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(Jack's POV…)

It's surprising what one can find behind locked doors. I never would have expected to see Pierre actually wearing her sex's clothing. Surprising…I hadn't been able to imagine Pierre in a dress until I actually saw it. She really was scrawny. But…put in the right clothing she almost looked like a girl her age should.

And seeing her like that gave me an idea.

Janette was past her welcome - no fault of her own really, the whimsical pleasantries of her company were long gone now - and getting some kind of reward out of her return would be another bonus.

And Pierre in that dress…

I chuckled again and was glad to have the lass tied up and sitting in a chair opposite me. The plan forming in my head was quickly solidifying into something quite amusing.

"What is so funny, Cap'n? Let me guess," her gaze darkened, despite how grim her expression already was, "it's how I look, isn't it?"

I examined an apple I'd picked up from the basket of them on my table. "Actually, your attire inspired it, but I'm not laughing at that." Slowly I met her anxious gaze. "I have a proposal for you, lass."

She stiffened. "What is it?"

I found that sitting was becoming dull, so I stood and paced the room, feeling the little pirate lass's gaze on me the entire time. "I've been thinking that something has to be done about Janette."

Pierre spoke up before I could continue.

"She's not bad enough to kill, Cap'n. Just dump her off at the next port. And… what does this have to do with me bein' stuck in this dress?"

Did she actually care about the French woman's welfare now? That's a funny twist of fate…

"I haven't hurt Janette, and I don't intend to." I paused in my pacing, "Though retrieving some ransom money would always be nice. But as you know, pirates are known for some less than scrupulous acts…" I let the implications be told by the grin slowly growing on my face.

Pierre's eyes narrowed. "And ye want me to be a lil' simpering maid to show that Janette was untouched, eh?" She scoffed. "Forget it! I'll not be wearin' these rags any longer."

I raised my eyebrows. "You'd rather go naked?"

She blinked, looked to the table and was lost for words. "Well, no, but… Cap'n… I…"

"You will stay with Janette and play the part I tell you to, you will dress the part, and you will assist me in retrieving the ransom money. If you comply," I strode over and put two fingers under her chin, lifting her gaze to mine, "you might be in line for a promotion. I know you've been itching to stop being a cabin lass. And you have potential, Pierre. I could help you become a great pirate."

For a moment she gave no response, then a soft smile. "All right, Cap'n. Which port are you headin' to?"

"Port Royal, as it's closest and I'm sure the Crown's navy is eager to assist in retrieving poor lost lasses such as Janette, French or not."

She nodded. "How many days until we will reach it?"

"Two at the most," I scanned over the dress and wondered where it had been found. Janette's likely wouldn't fit the scrawny lass, and I was sure my other loot didn't contain this particular gown. "By the way, where did you find it?" I waved my hands to the dress.

"It was one of Janette's," Pierre glanced down and smiled grimly. "She sized it down considerably. She said it had been a bit small on her, and was glad to make it fit me. I'm not so sure I like having something this feminine fit me though. Even if I certainly don't fill i-" she stopped herself mid-word, a pinkish hint to her cheeks. "Anyways, can I go back to my regular attire now? I'll let Janette dress me up again, I swear, I just…can't stand wearin' this when I don't have to."

Tormenting Pierre with the command to wear the gown…or letting her off. Which one is best? I wanted to have her cooperation, and likely would if I did not push her too far. But was this too far? Two days of wear would make the dress more believable to the navy. But Pierre would not be able to contribute to her chores in such an outfit. Perhaps a compromise was in order…

"Hows about an accord? You get the dress to lookin' proper for the part, but other than that…it's your choice what you wear."

"And what do I get?"

"A possible promotion."

Her eyes narrowed. "That's rather risky for me, Captain Sparrow. I want a guarantee. And I want a day off after we've dropped off Janette to the redcoats."

She's pushing her luck. A day off for the whole crew, not a problem. But just Pierre?

"Now lass, I'm not the kind of captain to hand out special favors-" I started to say.

"Take it or leave it, Cap'n." Pierre's eyes narrowed sharply.

I grinned slowly. "You're not really in the position to be arguing so-"

"I'm the only pirate here that the King's navy would listen to. And you know it."

Her lips curled up mischievously and the idea that she was a sea demon in disguise seemed plausible…even for that split second. A miniature, conniving sea demon in a dress.

"What's wrong, Cap'n?" her tone was smug. She had me cornered, and she knew it. No one else in the crew would be capable of acting as Janette's maid. The confidence she exuded…made me start to wonder about her age again. Either way, she's a hard bargainer. There will be no way to get out of giving the lass a promotion. I watched her face for a moment. She wasn't going to budge.

"All right, we have an accord." I was about to put out my hand, but remembered that she was still tied up and instead untied her, then offered my hand.

She took it and shook hard. "Aye, an accord."

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Reviewer time! Yeah! I'm sure those of you who didn't review would have if I had waited a bit longer….but I can't! *beams* And aren't you glad? I keep wondering if I should've had that wait…but the plot is really moving, and…*deep breath* We're reaching the crest of the hill…you know on the roller coasters were it goes up forever and then it's just about to go straight down? Well….just imagine that this point in the story is where you're just about to reach that crest…

TheCap'nOfTheBlackPearl: Thanks! I'm glad you like the different pov's, they make it tougher at times, but definitely worth it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter…cause I know I did!

MiseryLovesCompany: Thanks! The Spriggit bit was really quite fun…hard at first, but once I stared it wasn't too bad. And yep…had to add a bit about superstitions and all that jazz. Always have thought fog was creepy stuff, now I just have laudanum induced dreams and British ships about to attack to add to the creepy factor…

PED-sarah: Um…first off, Spriggit is a hard to pin down. Still figuring him out (yes, awful thing this late in the game) but, I didn't really see him as "greedy" in the chapter… he seemed more…'unfulfilled' than anything. Was there any line in particular that made it seem he was out for greed and nothing else? (Though I am glad you pointed this out…you guys seem to notice stuff I overlook, and once again, thanks for reading and reviewing!)

TheSiriusSparrow: Oooo, I can have the Captain Jack Sparrow? Yeah! *celebrates and hugs her Sparrow* Wait…this was fast enough right? *pauses, then grins* And wow…I'm only a half inch taller than you. Or…that's what I assume my height is…

AAR Rocks My Socks: Hope your homework went well…thanks for the compliments! I sure liked that scene…poor Sparrow. Kendra's good at twisting people without their knowledge…innocent one minute, manipulative the next…all those "young" looks for you…

dagzer: Sorry about the gender confusion…that was…a typo…*sweat drop* But…don't die! *shakes* Wake up! Pwease don't die! I hurried!

KawaiiRyu: Hope you liked it! And well…about that "filler"…*evil grin* Things often look deceptive…and may fill more of a role than you'd think…

Anaknusan: Don Juan DeMarco hm? I'll try to remember that…Oh! And I just bought a "Jack Sparrow" poster at my college's poster sale…*drools* So…happy…

HealerAriel: Well, Spriggit doesn't have Kendra using ever bit of her power to twist his perception…poor Jack does. And uh, I have news for you. *stands up tall* You may have eight inches on Kendra…but I've only got five. So don't be feelin' so short, lass… cause ye ain't. (Plus, TheSiriusSparrow is a half-inch shorter than me…)

And to the rest of you out there…push the little blue button. Pwease? I know you more than likely still love me, and hopefully more-so after this chapter. But yeah… thanks for all the support! Getting reviews really brightens my day!