End: Loved
A story by jhyii
Pairing: YohxAnna
The night was silent except for the whispering wind that crept across the hills. The two figures standing on the wide pasture were as still as the dark skies.
They stood apart, almost five feet. Her arms were folded, head tilted, blonde locks tousled. He had his hands in his pockets, developing interest in the grass growing by his feet.
A bystander would have thought them to be the most formal of strangers, but definitely not a couple that had been engaged for almost 10 years.
The silence between them was almost deafening, until he spoke, his voice bellying none of the tremulous anxiety he felt.
"Well…?" He started, his voice low.
"I can't go on like this anymore." Her reply was immediate, almost as if she had waited for him to speak, and then launched into her prepared speech.
He remained quiet, not answering, not looking at her. The wind continued to blew softly, breezing.
"All this while…it was never what I wanted."
He dared not lift his head, for some strange reason.
"What do you want?" She asked him, her voice suddenly tired. "What do you want from me…?"
"I…" He opened his mouth, feeling choked. "I just want you to…"
Love me.
"Ten years. I've lived ten whole years, a life that I never wanted, never wished for, never obliging. I'm tired. Don't you realise that? Or are you not tired as well?"
No. I'm not. I'm not because you were with me. All I ever wanted. Why do you never realise that?
"I want out."
He raised his eyes to look at her, a figure of ice against the dark night. "What do you mean?"
"Don't you understand? I want out of this. I want freedom. I need freedom."
"You want to leave me." He stated, his tone cutting, as devastation began washing over him.
She flinched as though the sharpness of his words had sliced her, but still, she met his gaze defiantly. "Yes."
"So it means nothing to you. It never meant anything to you."
"There's nothing to mean anything."
He clenched a fist. All his life he believed a way out of everything, a way to achieve what he wanted, eventually, if he tried hard enough. For the first time, he could see no solution, but one.
"Nothing?"
"For God's sake!" She exploded all of a sudden, all her icy demeanour evaporating into the misty night. "What is there between us?! What?"
Love. For me. But you never loved me. Never.
"It is a release to end this. For me, and for you."
"Then there's nothing." He said, his voice hollow to his ears.
"Nothing." She affirmed, but without conviction. She turned away from him again. "Please, end this. Please. I'm trapped, I feel so trapped. I need…I need it. Resolution."
"Very well." He felt strangely detached from the whole conversation, from himself even. Was this the process of grief and devastation?
He felt an unfamiliar wetness on his cheek. As he lifted a hand to brush it away, he saw that it was a tear. And another followed it. And another.
She spun around to face him then, and began to speak until she saw the traces of tears on his face. Her eyes widened.
With disbelief, shock. Bewilderment settled into her eyes. "Why…why…are you crying?"
He laughed then, at her, and at himself. "You wouldn't understand."
You wouldn't understand because you never loved. Go. Go to your freedom, go to what you need, what you want. It is not me, it was never me and it never will be me.
For some reason, she began to tremble as realisation swept over her. Wanting to take back her cruel words, but at the same time, could not.
Straightening himself, he wiped the last of moisture from his eyes and smiled at her. Spreading his arms wide, across the pastures, he said, "Go to your world, then. Your freedom. There's nothing between us. Never will be anything."
"Good bye, Anna. Have a good life. One that no matter how hard I try, I could never give it to you."
Because it wasn't what you wanted. I did not understand what you wanted.
He brushed past her, beginning his journey home, to the new strangeness of his sole existence when a small voice stopped him.
"Yoh…Yoh…I'm sorry…"
"I'm sorry, too." His reply was automatic, flat.
"Why?" That single word conveyed so much meaning, and so many emotions. Why did you let me go? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you try to ask me to stay?
He turned around to look at her, and to see rare pearls of tears spilling over her eyes. She was sorry, but at the same time, he could see a sort of resolve in her.
He regarded her for a moment, and then smiled bitterly.
It was her decision and his, and there would be no turning back. No matter what the circumstances were. No turning back, not for anyone of them. She would never, and neither would he.
He smiled again, it seemed like that it was all he could do. "I loved you. Once." With that, he turned, and walked away, leaving her alone on the field.
I loved you. I love you.
Alone, that was what he was from that moment, and perhaps, so was she.
Further and further he walked, never turning back, never seeing her crumpled onto the ground, and never hearing her whispered words.
"I love you, too."
-
I have an idea to make End into a sort of series, perhaps taking on endings of various pairings and shippings. Beware of strange and very non-canon ones, because I am a strange person to say the least. :) Please read and review and perhaps suggest a pairing. But be forewarned that majority of them would not get a good ending. This is meant to be an angst collection. And my sincerest thanks to all reviews for Part 1 of End.
