Finale: Choice
A story by jhyii

Pairing: YohxRen

"I can't be with you anymore."

That was the last thing he expected to hear from him. So many things he wanted to hear him say, but that sentence, undoubtedly, was never, and never will be one of them.

"What do you mean?" His voice came out steady and low, unlike the emotions that had begun churning within him.

"I meant what I said."

"I know. Why?"

He watched as the other young man nibbled at his bottom lip nervously, and twisted his hands. A long silence lapsed between them, he refused to speak until he did.

"Ren." Brown eyes that mirrored sorrow met his seemingly calm yellow ones. "You knew that it could never be. You and me…it…"

"That wasn't what you said a year ago." A menacing tone edged his voice as he automatically clenched his fist.

"You knew." He countered stubbornly.  

Yes, he did. He did know, but like everyone else, he held a ray of hope, the smallest flicker of light in darkness. Looking at his lover now, he felt like a complete fool.

"You want to deny this ever happened?"

"No!" He cried instantly, wishing there was an easier way. He had thought so long and hard about it, but in the end, this was the only resolution he could come up with. It killed him to hurt the one he loved, but there was no other way. "I could never deny what we had."

"Had." The dark haired young man echoed hollowly.

"Had." He affirmed softly. "I'm sorry…"

"It is her, isn't it?" He said abruptly. Even the mere mention of her, that woman, simmered the hidden rage in him.

A pained look came over the other's face, and he took a step forward, one hand extended. But his partner shook his head, and took a giant step back. "It is her, isn't it?" He repeated, hating the slight shakiness in his voice.

Hating the fact that he cared, he cared so much. Damnit, from the start, he shouldn't have cared. He should have treated this…this dalliance casually.

Then perhaps he wouldn't be feeling as painfully devastated as he was now.

"Ren…I didn't mean to…but I couldn't…couldn't hurt her…"

"But you hurt me." He interrupted coldly, so coldly that the brown-haired young man flinched. "You hurt me, but it doesn't matter, does it? Time and time again, you came to me, but you always ended up going back to her. Always. You hurt me, Yoh, but it doesn't mean anything to you, to do that to me. Because I don't matter to you. Only she does."

"You know it's not true! You know how important you are to me!" He cried desperately, wishing he could deny the hollow, awful truth. He did end up going back to her every time…but just because, he could not help it.

"Important?" He laughed, no gaiety in the harsh sound. "You could have fooled me, Asakura Yoh."

"You understand how much you mean to me."

"Do I?"

"Ren…"

"Do I ever mean anything to you? Or am I merely an interesting diversion for you from your daily life?" He spat. "She's not enough for you, you had to have me as well? You came to me, or did you forget?" Every single word that poured from his mouth was tinged with venom and pain

"Ren, please." He was pleading now. Wishing he could take back every word, every shred of hurt, but it wasn't possible. "Don't."

"Shut up. Don't talk to me like that. Don't talk to me as if you were the victim. You're not. You're not, do you hear me?"

"I love her!" He burst out, and then a shocked look settled on his features. He took a step back, slapping a trembling hand over his mouth.

His yellow eyes widened.

I love her.

Was it possible to feel the amount of pain that he was feeling now? The excruciating sensation of a million knives, a thousand gun shots…that one single sentence, tore away everything he believed in, everything that he thought was…

Then what am I?

"You love her?" He asked, his voice quiet, all the rage gone. Deflated.

Across from him, the shaman drew in a shaky breath. "Yes."

"Then…? What…am…I?"

"You're...my most precious...you mean so much…" He whispered agonizingly. "But…she…is my everything."

Then I am nothing.

"Get out." His voice came out clear and strong.

"Ren…"

"I said. Get out." He turned his back, refusing to look at him. He didn't want to look at him ever again…it hurt too much.

Slowly, the other man turned to leave, taking a few steps before he paused, and turned back. "I love you."

His heart leapt to his throat, and he started to turn to him, but his next words stopped him dead in his tracks. "But I cannot leave her." With that, he was gone.

I love you.

How long had he been waiting for him to say that? How much had he longed for that kind of assurance from him? But the irony…

"You bastard. You said that…as you left me. You bastard…"

Then he did something that he hadn't done in years, something that he had sworn he would never do.

Tao Ren broke down and cried.

-

I've changed the title to my story and will be making relevant changes soon. My sincerest thanks to reviewers Akari, Kyo Terayashi, katoryu diethel, The-Truus, Kyoyama Kita.

Please read, review and criticise, most appreciated.