NOTE: I do not own any of these characters. you can thank FOX. If you have any questions or comment you can e-mail me at liverbrain22@hotmail.com

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Chapter Eleven

"With your feet in the air and your head on the ground,
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
Where is my mind."

Where is my Mind - Pixies

Ryan was livid. How could Seth ditch him like that? He got into the Range Rover and turned the ignition on and squealed the tires while backing out on to the street. His right arm lay on his lap as he drove off. As soon as he got to the first stop sign he had to take a right turn to get onto the heavy traffic. Who was he kidding? He was in no condition to drive; he couldn't take the turn with only one hand. It was impossible. So he parked the car on the side of the road and contemplated on what he was going to do next.

It was only seven o'clock and he didn't want to walk back to Marissa's house. He wasn't in the mood to watch a movie, or talk to anyone, especially Marissa. So Ryan decided he was going to walk home. It was a far walk, but he didn't mind; he needed to clear his head anyway. By the time eight o'clock rolled around, he was almost home. But he didn't want to go home, so he decided to call Luke from a phone booth.

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"Sandy, calm down." Kirsten told him. Sandy was pacing the kitchen floor with the phone in one hand. "Just give him some more time. I'm sure there's a perfect explanation for all of this." Kirsten said, trying to reassure him. She wanted to believe herself too, but she didn't.

"It's nine-thirty, Kirsten. He should be home. Maybe I should call around and see-" He stopped talking as soon as he heard the front door slam. Sandy went to go see. "Ryan!"

Ryan pulled the car keys out of his pocket and tossed them over to Sandy. "It's parked a couple of blocks from Marissa's house." He looked at the two adults, he could tell they were just talking about him by their facial expressions. "I'm a little tired, I'm going to bed." Ryan said, walking past them.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!" Sandy said, pulling Ryan back. "Why is my car parked on a street at Marissa's?

"Seth told me to drive myself home, and I did. Well kind of.I realized I couldn't so I parked it and walked home. I didn't mean to worry you guys, really."

Sandy was relieved. "No, Ryan.we're not worried." Kirsten shot him a look. "Okay, maybe I was worried, but you made the right decision. You were in no condition to drive with that arm of yours."

"Okay, so I can go now?" Ryan asked.

Kirsten nodded her head in approval.

"Wait, Ryan. It doesn't take almost three hours to walk home from Marissa's."

"Well.I went over to Luke's around eight. I got tired from walking."

"Are you drunk?" Sandy asked.

"What?" Ryan was shocked. "No. No.No, I'm not drunk. What makes you think I'm drunk?"

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but last night you and Seth went over to Luke's and got drunk. Then you go over to his place tonight, again. What am I supposed to think. I smell cigarettes and alcohol off of you." Sandy said

Ryan held up his left hand. "One beer and one cigarette. That's it, that's all. I swear."

"No more drinking, Ryan. Or else-"

Kirsten cut Sandy off. "Smoking? Why were you smoking? I thought you quit?"

"I did quit, but you know how it goes."

"No, we don't." Kirsten retorted.

"I just got stressed out, okay. There's a lot going on and I'm actually really tired right now. Can I go to bed now?" Ryan asked.

"Fine. But you're not going to school tomorrow." Sandy said.

Ryan didn't argue and left to the poolhouse.

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Ryan's alarm clock buzzed away throughout the morning. He had forgotten to turn it off last night. After pressing snooze several times, he finally woke up. It was only seven-thirty in the morning and everyone was still home. He rolled off his bed and threw his feet into the sleepers, then dragged himself into the Cohen's kitchen and sat down on a stool at the counter.

"Morning." Kirsten said, strolling into the kitchen with floor plans in one hand and a coffee in the other. "Hungry?" Kirsten asked, dropping her papers and coffee on the counter and pulling out a variety of cereals.

Ryan shrugged. "Not really."

Kirsten looked at him and said, "Coffee?"

Ryan nodded and Kirsten poured him a cup of coffee and set it down in front of him.

"You're spending way too much time with Seth. You're beginning to drink like him!" Kirsten commented, picking up her papers and coffee. "Well, I'm off to the office. Don't spend too much time in front of the television. Bye."

"Bye." Ryan said, sipping his coffee.

As soon as he heard the front door slam, he instantaneously dropped his coffee on the counter. Coffee went flying everywhere. "Ah, shit." Ryan mumbled. Ryan then realized what had frightened him. It was his arm.

Sandy walked into the kitchen and stood there, watching Ryan clean up the spilled coffee off the counter and his clothes. "Having trouble?" Sandy asked.

Ryan froze. "I, uh, I-"

"Whoa, Ryan, are you okay?" Sandy asked, walking up to him. He could sense a tension between the two of them. "It's just spilt coffee, Ryan. What's wrong?"

Ryan wanted to tell Sandy, but he knew he couldn't. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he didn't feel his right arm there for a second. Maybe he didn't feel the tingling sensation that had caused him to spill coffee everywhere. He tried to remember the feeling, but he lost it. "Nothing-Nothing's wrong."

Sandy eyed Ryan suspiciously. But before he could say anything else, Ryan rushed off.

Ryan walked off and took off his shirt. The coffee had split all over him and he was hot. He thought for sure there was a burn on his stomach, but when he looked, there wasn't one. He then climbed the stairs by two and walked down the long hallways to Seth's bedroom. He knocked on the door, hoping that he was still home and not at school. There was no answer, so he walked in.

Ryan walked into the room and found Seth and Summer making out on Seth's bed. Neither of them noticed him, so Ryan knocked on Seth's wall.

Seth jerked himself up and pulled his shirt over his head. "Oh, hey Ryan." Seth said, sheepishly. "We're not late, are we?"

"I'm not going to school."

"Oh.Well then, I guess Summer and I need to get going." Seth replied, grabbing his backpack off the ground.

"See you later, Ryan." Summer said, as she brushed his bare chest.

"Seth, can we talk?" Ryan asked.

"If this is about last night, I'm sorry. Believe me, you don't know how sorry I am. Mom and Dad already grounded me from the playstation."

"No, it's not about last night."

"What about, then?" Seth looked at Ryan's T-shirt in his hand. "What's with the abs exposure.You're not trying to hit on my girlfriend, are you?"

Ryan looked at him seriously. "No, I split coffee on it."

"Oh, right.Okay. So what do you want to talk about?"

"You know what, uh, just nevermind. It's nothing."

"You sure?" Seth asked. He was a little concerned. Ryan was usually never up for talking and when he was, Seth always just had to ruin the moment by some quick-witted comment. "Well, it can't be nothing if you came all the way up here to talk to me." Seth pointed out.

"Right, but now it's nothing." Ryan said, tuning around and leaving Seth.

"Okay, but I'm here if you need me!" Seth shouted out to Ryan.

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Ryan reminisced the whole day in his room. He couldn't help but think about the past and how he ended up at the Cohen's. It was over six months ago when he was still living in Chino with his Trey, his Mom and A.J.

Ryan lay down on his bed and fell asleep.

Ryan was only eleven years old and his brother, Trey, was fourteen. Their dad had left them a year before and they were now living with their mom and her one-night stand boyfriends.

"Kid, get your mother some food, will you!" Jim shouted, kicking Ryan in the back with his leg. Jim was Dawn's boyfriend at the time.

"But, we don't have anymore food in the kitchen." Ryan shot back, sitting on the floor next to his older brother. They were watching Sunday morning cartoons..

"Well then, both of you get off your asses and go get some before your mother wakes up."

"She's been sleeping for two days already.Is something wrong with her?" Ryan asked, standing up to look at Jim.

Jim grabbed Ryan by the shirt. "Get outta my face and go get me some food!" Jim yelled, shoving Ryan back to the floor. He took out his wallet, "Here's a twenty, go get something good. I want my change back!" Jim barked at the two boys.

"Come on, Ryan." Trey said, pulling his brother up off the floor.

Ryan and Trey left the house and biked their way to the local supermarket. They only spent ten dollars. On their way back home, Trey abruptly stopped his bike.

Ryan had his head down and was daydreaming when he bumped into Trey.

"Watch it, Ryan!" Trey shouted at his younger brother. "Give me the ten bucks that's in your pocket." Trey asked, his hand out in front on Ryan.

"No, way. Jim wants his change.No, I'm not giving it to you." Ryan protested.

Trey threw his bike to the ground and grabbed the ten bucks out of his pocket. "I'll buy you something good with it, trust me. I've been saving up with all the extra money you've been keeping from Jim."

"What? You mean the money that you steal from me! I get my ass kicked for it.Give it back. I'm not getting my ass kicked again."

Trey shoved the ten bucks in his pocket and hopped on his bike. "It's for your own good, Ryan!" He shouted.

Later in the evening, Jim had woken up from his nap and beat Ryan over the missing change. Trey had left the house and came back when their mom and Jim were asleep again at night. He locked himself in his room with Ryan and pulled out five bottles of assorted alcohol.

"Here," Trey said, slipping a bottle of vodka in Ryan's hands. "This is for you.It's what you've been saving for."

Ryan awakened from his nightmare in a cold sweat. He looked around the poolhouse frantically, making sure he was still alone. He sighed, and remembered the nightmare he had just had. He was eleven and it was the first night that Ryan had gotten drunk with his brother. They hardly got drunk together, but when they did, it was bad. He usually woke up a couple of days after and had the worst hangovers. He shuddered at the thought of Jim. Jim was probably one of the worst boyfriend his mom had ever dated. Jim would always blame his problems and everyone else's problem on Ryan and beat him.

Ryan sat up in his bed and touched his right arm. He wished he could feel the slightest tingle.but when he touched it, there was nothing. Frustrated, he punched his right arm with his left hand, expecting any kind of pain.But there was no pain. He repeatedly punched his arm; in anger, he let out a sigh and stood up. Just then his phone rang.

"Hello?" His voice was hoarse, from self-defeat.

"Ryan, how are you doing?"

"Sandy.I'm fine." Ryan said, there was a pause on the other side of the line. "Why did you call?"

"Just checking to see how you were." Sandy lied.

"Right, well.I'm fine."

"Fine, then I guess I'll see you at five."

"Yeah.I'll see you later." Ryan was about to hang up the phone.

"Oh-wait, Ryan, make sure you exercise that arm of yours, okay?" Sandy asked, waiting for a response. "You there?"

"Yeah, I, uh." Ryan caught something out of the corner of his eyes. "I'm fine, Sandy. And I'll do my exercises. Bye." Ryan hung up the phone and walked over to his desk at the far side of the poolhouse.

He picked up the two items and starred at them.

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"Okay, that's just wrong." Summer pointed out to Seth.

"What? What's wrong?" Seth asked, shoving a French fry in his mouth.

"Look." Summer said, pointing over to Anna and Luke. "Are they seriously going out?"

"Uh, well.From the looks of it, yeah." Seth couldn't believe it himself. He knew that Anna was jealous of him because he was now dating Summer. "Oh, crap.Are they coming over here?"

Before Summer could reply, Luke and Anna walked up to them in the food court.

"Hey, Cohen.What's happening?" Luke asked.

"Uh, nothing.You?" Seth asked, starring at Anna. She had her arm wrapped around Luke and looked at him all puppy-eyed.

"Oh nothing, just grabbing some lunch. How's Ryan?"

"Uh, fine.Why?"

"Well, he was a little.I don't know.Not well last night and he came over and we talked a bit. Is he at school today?" Luke asked.

"No, he stayed home today." Seth said, holding back his facial expressions. How could Ryan talk to Luke and not him? But then he remembered that Ryan had wanted to talk to him earlier this morning, but he had ruined it. Was it that Luke was talking about? Seth kicked himself for not trying to help Ryan. As soon as he got home from school, he would talk to him.

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Bit of a short chapter, I know.but I want to update as much as possible. So stay tuned!