Sry bout the lack of updates. We blame the weather, rhinos and school.

The gentle rain gradually started to fall lightly onto her face, in the way rain does … but it doesn't.

Oh, wait, it is just the keg, dripping onto the face of the unnamed blonde as she lay passed out underneath the keg. The result of a dare placed by Pippin that she really shouldn't have agreed to.

Her spleen hurt.

Realizing that the numerous amount of hours she had spent unconscious were probably starting to catch up on her, she decided to return to Bag End.

Once the world stopped spinning.

Stumbling, staggering and doing all other things one would do when one was drunk – that the authors would know nothing about of course – she made her way slowly but surely to Bag End. However, before entering Bag End she noticed a shadowy figure lurking in the garden.

Not so much as 'noticed' the figure but more like fell over the figure.

Her spleen and knee hurt.

"Owww….Sammy, be quietes they'll hear us…naughty boy."

And Sam was quiet, more out of confusion that anything.

Unnamed blonde looked into the window that her and Sam were so well hidden under and was greeted by the sight of Gandalf's arse. Well, Gandalf's arse retelling the story of the one ring. (Can just you imagine that?)

"I don't know if I want to" mummered the unnamed blonde.

"Pardon?"

"Don't worry Sam, just be glad that 'I like big buts and I cannot lie'!!!"

Insert long awkward filled with the sounds of crickets chirping and drunk gaffer snoring.

"Sooooo, Sam. This conversation we're listening to… have you got the gist of what's happening?"

….

"If anyone asks, it's about a ring, Dark Lord and something about the end of the world."

….

"And you've been trimming the grass."

The awkward silence would have continued if it hadn't been for Gandalfs staff hitting the unnamed blonde over the head.

Her spleen, knee and top half of her head hurt.

Unfortunately this blow, once again, knocked her unconscious. It was pure luck (well, that's open to interpretation) that Gandalf had still yanked Sam through the window. And everything was as it should be.

Without the unnamed blonde.

"Nooo… they left without me!" Moaned the unnamed blonde to a particularly interested plant. "This isn't suppose to happen! Then again, I'M not suppose to happen."

Listening patiently to the plant's advice, the unnamed blond stood up with renewed confidence.

"Thank-you Sam's plant! You are right! I have given myself this quest and I intend to keep to its values and interests! For the sake of all those who wished to change the course of middle earth history! Hurrah!"

Hurrah, indeed.

Indeed, hurrah.