NOTE: I do not own any of these characters… you can thank FOX. If you have any questions or comment you can e-mail me at liverbrain22@hotmail.com

(Thanks for the Reviews!)

Chapter Sixteen

"Open up my eyes,
Flooded with daylight.
Another sleepless night turns color black and white….

Hands into a fist,
Static in my head.
Now I'm sitting face to face with loneliness…."

Three Simple Words – Finch

Kirsten paced through her bedroom with her arms crossed, listening to Sandy. He kept on telling her that everything was going to be all right. But how could it be all right? She thought to herself. Ryan wanted to see his mother; the same mother that had abandoned her son seven months ago.

"Don't worry everything is going to be okay." Sandy reassured her again. "I've already spoken to Ryan and he agreed that he would see his mother here, with us around. We'll be having supper with her and Ryan."

Kirsten stopped pacing. "Last time she had supper with us, Ryan stormed off. I don't like to see him hurt like that, Sandy." Kirsten said, her voice was cold with anger.

"He asked to see her, Kirsten. I can't tell him he's not allowed to. As much I want to tell him that, I can't." Sandy replied, wrapping his hands around Kirsten's waist. He gave her a kiss on the neck and added her some more reassurance, "Ryan's going to be cooking too. So you don't have to worry about it."

Kirsten turned around and shot him a look. "When do I ever have to worry about cooking? You never let me cook!"

Sandy laughed. "I have no problem with that."

Kirsten playfully slapping his head and said, "You're not the greatest cook either, you know."

Sandy nodded. "But, I'm a lot better than you are." Sandy said, taking her hand in his and kissing it. "Come on, Dawn's going to be here soon. We should get down there."

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"So…" Seth said, peeling the potatoes.

Ryan turned around from the stove and wiped his hands with a cloth. "So?"

"Are you nervous? I mean, uh, you don't have to be nervous. But you haven't seen your mom in what—seven months?"

Ryan nodded his head. "It's time I see her."

"Any particular reason?" Seth asked.

Ryan didn't respond.

"Well, whatever man. You don't need a reason to see your mom. I mean, she's family, right?" Seth questioned.

Ryan went up to Seth and punched him in the arm. "You're my family, Seth. My Mom….she's just my Mom."

"Okay, well usually Mom's—"

Ryan stopped him. "Seth…Shut up." Ryan laughed and headed to the poolhouse to get changed.

Ryan changed into his usual button down black T-shirt over his wife beater and put on a fresh pair of jeans that Rosa had cleaned. He still didn't like the idea that he had someone else wash his clothes for him. He felt bad for her, so he tried as much as possible to clean up after himself. She barely ever cleaned the poolhouse because he always kept it clean. He prayed that his arm would bring him some luck so he didn't have to get any help from the Cohen's. Ryan didn't want his mom to feel sorry, not that she would though. Ryan was about to leave the poolhouse when the phone rang. He picked it up and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Oh, hey Marissa…How are you?" Ryan asked, playing with the cuff on his right wrist. He could almost feel it all the way around his wrist.

"I'm good, what about you? When is your mom coming?" Marissa asked. She knew that Ryan had been looking forward to seeing his mom again.

"She's coming soon."

"Well, that's good."

"Yeah, I, uh—I better go. She should be here pretty soon."

"Yeah, okay. Well, I love you."

Ryan hesitated. "I—I know, bye." He stumbled on his words and hang up the phone. Why was it so hard for him to hear Marissa say 'I love you.'? He knew she loved him, but did he love her? Of course he did, he thought to himself. There was a knock on the door interrupting his thoughts of Marissa. Seth walked into the poolhouse.

"Hey, Ryan. Your mom is here and she's alone with Mom and Dad, which probably isn't the best situation right now…. You know my dad…like's to talk."

"Yeah, kind of reminds me of someone else I know." Ryan shot back, leaving the poolhouse with Seth.

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Dawn sat down at the table next to Ryan. All had gone well so far. Ryan made sure he made the easiest to eat with his right hand. He made mashed potatoes, shredded chicken and sunshine carrots.

"So Dawn, where are you living these days?" Kirsten asked, placing her napkin on top of her plate.

"I'm still at a friends place right now." Dawn replied, putting her hand on Ryan's shoulder. "You're a great cook, Ryan. It was delicious."

Ryan smiled at her and continued eating his mashed potatoes. He was the only one still eating. Everyone was done and talking, except for Seth who sat there in a daze. Ryan wondered what was wrong with Seth; he was usually the one who was doing all the talking. Then again, Dawn was here and he probably didn't want to start asking stupid questions.

"Do you still have that job at the laundry mat?" Sandy asked.

Dawn shook her head. "I'm in between jobs." Both Sandy and Kirsten nodded there heads.

Ryan wasn't finished his dinner but he had had enough of trying to force himself to eat it with his right hand. He threw his napkin on his plate. "Which friend's place are you staying at this time?" Ryan asked. He was a little curious. Last time she said a friend's place to him, it turned out being an old boyfriend in which Ryan didn't approve of.

"Oh, you don't know him, Ry."

Ryan's eyes sparked up in sudden interest. "Him? As in a boyfriend or just a friend?" Ryan questioned. Both Sandy and Kirsten stood up and took their plates to the kitchen. Seth sat there for a few seconds, then decided to give Ryan and his Mom some 'alone' time.

"Yeah, John, he's my boyfriend."

"How long?"

"Almost eight months now." Dawn replied.

That was pretty good for his Mom, Ryan thought to himself. She never had a steady relationship with anyone, besides his dad, but he was in jail now. Ryan suddenly realized that eight months ago he was still in Chino, not living with the Cohen's. "I thought you were with A.J. eight months ago." Ryan commented.

Dawn cleared her throat. "Yeah—I know, Ry. But I wasn't living with him, I was living with A.J."

"So you cheated on A.J. and you lied to me and Trey?" Ryan asked.

"No, I didn't do such a thing, Ry. We weren't really together, just friends then." Dawn stopped and took Ryan's right hand into hers. "He treats me well, Ryan. He's not like A.J. and the others. He's got a kid of his own too. She's a year younger than you are. I talk about you all the time to her and she wants to meet you someday, Ry."

Ryan let go of his Mom's hand and walked off into the kitchen with his plate. Was his mom really trying to get him to go back to Chino with her? Ryan didn't know. He placed his dishes in the sink and walked passed Sandy, Kirsten and Seth to the poolhouse.

Dawn grabbed her plate and walked into the kitchen. "I think I should maybe go." Dawn said.

Both Kirsten and Sandy didn't say anything.

Seth couldn't believe that his mom would just leave him again like that. How could she be a mother? Seth finally spoke his mind, or at least some of it. "Why don't you go talk to him, God?" Seth said, throwing his hands up in the air. "He's your son…" Seth exclaimed walking off upstairs to his room.

Dawn was shocked by Seth's little outburst.

"Dawn, I'm sorry…That's not like Seth to do such a thing." Kirsten explained. "Sorry."

"No, he's right. I should go talk to him." Dawn said, leaving the kitchen. She walked over to the poolhouse and knocked on the glass door. Ryan yelled for her to come in.

Ryan was sitting down on his bed staring at her.

"Look, Ry…." Dawn began to say but Ryan cut her off.

"It's okay, Mom." Ryan said.

"No, Ry….It's not. I should have been there for you when…" Dawn stopped and pointed at his arm. "I should have been there for you when that happened"

"No, I'm the one that never called to tell you, Mom." Ryan stopped and stood up. "Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?" Dawn asked. She knew what he was talking about, but wanted to make sure she was right.

"Regret leaving me here to live with the Cohen's."

"Ry…I did what I thought was the best for you. Leaving you was probably the best thing for you." Dawn explained, walking up to him. "Are you having second thoughts with living here, Ry?" She asked, face to face with him.

Ryan hesitated. He loved living with the Cohen's. He couldn't imagine not living with them. But then again, he did miss his mom and his friends in Chino. He was just starting to get used to Newport when Oliver came along and screwed up everything. He was now only leftover's.

"Ryan?" Dawn said, interrupting his thoughts. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." Ryan replied, stepping away from his mom. "I just don't understand how you could just leave me here."

"Ryan, I love you and I would never do anything that would hurt you."

"You left me, Mom. Not once, but twice. And—and now…" Ryan hesitated. "You're leaving me again."

"Oh, Ry…No, I'm not leaving you. I'll always be your Mom." Dawn exclaimed. She threw her arms out to him and embraced him. Ryan stood there with his hands at his side. "I'm sorry, Ry." She whispered into his ear. She then let go of him and said, "I know Kirsten and Sandy are taking care of you, Ry. You don't know how much that means to me. Right now, I know I'm not the greatest mother. But, if you want to come to Chino, anytime Ry, you can. Maybe you can meet John and his daughter Jessica."

Ryan shrugged. "I—I don't know…."

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"Do you think they are okay in there?" Kirsten asked, looking out of the window towards the poolhouse where she saw Dawn and Ryan talking.

Sandy went up behind Kirsten and put his hands around her waist. "Kirsten, I'm sure they are fine." Kirsten turned around from the window and kissed Sandy.

"It just doesn't feel right." Kirsten commented.

"What doesn't feel right?" Sandy asked.

"Dawn being here….I mean, well, she gave me the impression last time that she would never see Ryan again. I'm just afraid for him. I don't want Dawn to upset him. He's been through a lot, Sandy."

Sandy kissed Kirsten again. "Don't worry." He reassured her.

Seth walked into the kitchen and gagged. "Separate seats, you guys. Come on, there's
no sex in the champagne room.

Kirsten and Sandy both laughed at him.

"I hope you came down to apologize to Dawn." Sandy said, letting go of Kirsten.

Seth shrugged. "Well, I don't think I should." He stopped talking as soon as Dawn walked into the kitchen. "Sorry." Seth said to Dawn. He knew he shouldn't have apologized but he knew that he would never hear the end of it form his parents.

"Don't worry, kid. You were right." Dawn replied. She then thanked Sandy and Kirsten. "Thanks for dinner you guys. I really appreciate it. I think I'm going to go now."

"Oh? Did you need a drive anywhere?" Sandy asked.

Dawn shook her head. "No, its okay, I've got a cab waiting."

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After Dawn left, Seth made his way over to the poolhouse. He knew Ryan was in dire need of some Seth/Ryan time. Seth didn't bother knocking on the glass door, instead he walked right in. Ryan was sitting down on his bed reading his history text book. He looked up as soon as Seth walked in.

"Hey." Ryan mumbled, returning to his book.

Seth sat down on the end of Ryan's bed. "So, uh, how did it go?" Seth asked. He wanted to hear everything.

"Fine." Ryan replied.

Seth groaned. "Come on dude, don't bottle this kind of crap up anymore….you know how bad it explodes."

Ryan closed his history text book and hesitated before speaking. "She asked me to come and visit her."

"In Chino?" Seth asked.

"Where else would I visit her?" Ryan replied, dryly. "She wants me to meet her new boyfriend and his daughter."

"And…Are you?"

Ryan shrugged. "I'm thinking about it. But I didn't tell her that. She gave me her number and I said I'd call her later."

"Well, uh, that's cool….I guess." Seth stopped and stood up. "You're not like…leaving us, are you?"

Ryan took awhile to respond. "Seth, she's my mom. And—I don't know…" Ryan hesitated. "You just don't understand…"

"Of course I don't, Ryan. Explain it to me. Why would you even think about leaving us?" Seth exclaimed. He didn't want Ryan to leave. He was the only cool person in Newport and the only true friend he has ever had.

"Look, Seth…I'm probably not going to leave."

"Okay, but why would you even consider it?" Seth asked.

Ryan raised his right arm slightly at Seth. "If you haven't notice, this past month hasn't really been the greatest. No one believed me about Oliver—heck your parents sent me to some shrink. They thought I was crazy."

Seth cut him off. "We were wrong, Ryan. And Mom and Dad didn't think you were crazy."

"Whatever, Seth. The point is that, life for me here is crazy. I've got all these issues that no one understands. Hell, I can't even say 'I love you' to Marissa. I know I do, Seth. I just can't say it." Ryan stopped and stared at his best friend, he knew Seth was hurt. "Life in Chino is different—a lot different from Newport."

"Well, I guess you've made up your mind then." Seth said, standing up and walking towards the door.

"Seth—Wait!" Ryan yelled out to him, but Seth left and went into the house. "Shit!" Ryan yelled out loud and threw his history text book at the wall.

How could anyone understand the way he was feeling? No one did and that was the point. He wasn't even sure himself how he felt. But he knew he needed to visit Chino. He needed to get out of Newport.

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Seth made his way up to his bedroom and flopped down on his bed and sighed. How could Ryan even consider leaving? And after all they've been through? He knew he needed to do something. But he didn't know what yet. Seth got up from his bed and picked up the phone. He needed to get the hell out of the house. It was Saturday and he hoped that Summer was home. He dialed her number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Summer."

"Oh, hey Cohen. What's up?"

"Uh, nothing…absolutely nothing. Want to go shopping?" Seth asked.

Summer laughed. "The stores are closed Seth." She said, and then listened to Seth as he groaned on the other end of the line. "But, hey, if you want….you can come over to my house and we can go 'shopping' here?"

Seth cleared his throat. "What time would you like Mr. Fix-it there?"

Summer laughed. "Anytime…."

"I'll be right there!" Seth yelled into the phone than hung up.

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Okay, short chapter…I know. And this story is taking a big turn. I'm just trying to keep it going….Hope you like it!

Many thanks goes out to my twin, Vicki, for editing (ahaha) I never give her credit and she asked me to write her in.