I own Final Fantasy VIII. I just let Squaresoft think that they do. Don't tell them, they'll be crushed.

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter Six: Figure in the Mist

--The House, Squall's Bedroom

The morning dawned foggy and wet. Squall awoke precisely ten minutes before his alarm was set to go off. Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he ran a hand through his lightly mussed hair, and it fell easily back into its accustomed place. He clicked off his alarm before it could ring and walked softly out of his room in the direction of the bathroom. He paused at Rinoa's door, and contemplated knocking, but thought better of it, if Rinoa was asleep he didn't want to wake her. His hand paused a moment above the door handle, and then he tried to turn it.

Locked. Is she embarrassed and trying to keep us out? Or is she trying to keep herself in, and to handle whatever is wrong all by herself?

He thought to himself a moment, then released the handle. He entered the bathroom and turned on the shower. While the water heated, he paused and looked at himself in the mirror. He was almost surprised at his reflection. His eyes, which had once been cool and impassionate now were filled with worry, and the dark circles under then emphasized that worry.

Who would have thought I could change so much? Not me. But Rinoa knew. She always knows, everything. Even what I try to hide from myself. So why is she hiding from me?

Squall frowned as he slipped out of his boxers and into the shower. Last night had troubled him much more than he cared to admit to anyone, especially himself.

--FLASHBACK to previous night, living room--

"Something's wrong with Rinoa."

Selphie fidgeted nervously on the couch next to Irvine. Irvine stared at him, his eyes full of worry. Zell suddenly found his shoes to be extremely interesting, and Quistis paused in her efforts to clean up the glass, although she couldn't bring her eyes to meet his. Squall noticed this and turned towards her.

"Quistis? Do you know something that I should know about too?"

Quistis sighed and stood up, depositing the shards she had collected into an empty paper cup.

"You see, Squall... this morning Selphie and I were supposed to meet Rinoa as a café to discuss the preparations for the party tonight, you knew that?"

Squall nodded, impatient. "She told me she was going to go when I saw her this afternoon."

Quistis frowned, then realized that Rinoa must have stormed off to see Squall after leaving the café. But when Rinoa met up with Squall, it seemed like she was talking about it like she hadn't even gone yet. There was so much to put together, and she would need time to think it over later.

"Well, Rinoa had brought along a painting of Balamb Beach she had just done. We all joked about it a bit, and drew on it together. And then suddenly... she just exploded. It was like she didn't even know who we were. Her eyes looked like they were on fire... and then she just left. Later on this afternoon she came back home, and couldn't seem to remember a thing about it. Also, this evening she threw an expensive ceramic at the wall in the bedroom, and then claimed she had dropped it, although I could tell she was lying to me that time... In truth Squall, all of us have been worried about Rinoa for some time now."

Squall sat down next to Selphie, who moved over to make room for him. All of the sudden, Selphie gasped and then laid a hand on Squall's shoulder.

"But ya know Squall, tonight Quistis and I talked to Matron about it! She said she would talk to Rinoa and try to help. So don't worry too much, Matron will help us figure out whatever is wrong with Rin."

Matron? What does Matron know of mood swings and memory losses? Unless... its something more serious. Unless it has something to do with Rinoa's sorceress abilities. Please, please Hyne, let nothing be wrong with Rinoa. She's suffered so much already.

Squall managed a sickly half-smile at Selphie and agreed softly "Yes, I'm sure that Matron will be a great asset to us..."

Zell finally looked up from his shoes and into Squall's face. What he saw there worried him.

"Squall man, go to bed. We'll take care of the mess down here in no time at all."

Too tired to argue, Squall agreed and walked slowly and heavily up the stairs toward his bedroom.

Stopping at Rinoa's door, he knocked softly. Rinoa opened it halfway. She had been wearing on of his big shirts as a nightdress and it was evident she was scared and had recently been crying. Squall felt his heart melt in front of this woman he loved. Before he could get a word out of his mouth, he felt Rinoa's arms wrap around him for a brief moment. She had whispered into his ear, then withdrawn her arms and gently closed her door on him for the night. He stood still a moment, unsure of what to do. Then he had continued down the hall to his own room.

Once inside, he had picked up the phone and dialed the Kramers. Edea had answered on the second ring, and promised to meet him in his office the next morning when he got to work. Then Squall laid down and waited for sleep, which was a long time coming that night. The words she had said to him echoed in his mind, crowding out sleep.

I'm alright, Squall. As long as you keep loving me, I can fight. But.. maybe it would be better if you didn't... at least for a while...

Fight what? And how could she ask him to stop loving her?

--END FLASHBACK

Squall turned off the water in the shower, exited, and wrapped a towel around himself. He ran a hand across the fogged-up mirror. Looking into his reflection again, he told himself that everything would work out. They had faced tougher odds than whatever they were up against now. And he knew that come hell or high water, he would never leave his angel to fight anything alone.

Walking quietly down the hallway and downstairs, he paused in the living room. Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis had done a remarkable job of cleaning up, if anything the room was cleaner than it had been before the party had taken place. As he walked into the kitchen, he noticed a cup of coffee, still steaming. Tucked under it was a note addressed to him, and he recognized the writing instantly as Rinoa's. He sat down to open the letter, but as he turned it over he caught a glimpse of his watch, which read 8:20.

He was already twenty minutes late to work! Swearing to himself, he tucked the note into the pocket of his pants, swallowed the hot coffee in two large gulps, and was out the door. He ran to his car, which had been moved to the other side of the street by Irvine (the only other one he permitted to drive his baby) to facilitate the exits of all the partygoers last night. As he turned to get into the car, he looked up at Rinoa's large bay windows.

He thought he saw her standing there looking down at him. He raised his hand in an unsure wave, then got into the car and sped away. Had she been there? Or had it just been the mist playing tricks on him?

--Balamb Garden, 3F Office

Edea sat in one of the chairs facing Squall's desk. The chairs, like much everything else in the door, were strictly utilitarian. They were gray and designed for people to sit in at attention, not for creature comfort. She shifted a bit, growing uncomfortable in the seat. With surprise she realized that Squall was late. While this slightly worried her, she couldn't suppress a small smile. Squall Leonhart had finally relaxed a bit, she hoped.

Even as she thought this, the door opened and in walked a very tense-looking Squall.

"Matron, I'm so sorry that I'm late... I lost track of time, I've never done that before-"

Edea stood up and brushed off his attempts to apologize. She walked to him and gave him a gentle hug, and in her arms he still seemed the small lost child she had taken care of so many years ago. She released him and held him at arms length. Her heart broke to see him in such confusion and distress. He places her hand on his cheek a moment.

"We have much to talk about."

Squall nodded and motioned for Edea to sit in his larger more comfortable chair. He sat in one of the other chairs, and waited for Matron to explain how to help Rinoa.

"Squall... I don't know how to help Rinoa." Seeing his crestfallen face, she hastened to continue. "But, I do think I know what is going on. And I can advise you as to what you may be able to do to help her."

"Please Matron, anything you could tell me about what may be wrong with her, anything at all could help..."

"You see, I know what is happening to Rinoa because it happened to me, too. About a year after I received the powers of another sorceress. You remember when I did? You were there when Ultimecia died... But that's not what's important now. With sorceress power comes enormous responsibility. That responsibility, in time, weighs down upon the mind of the new sorceress. She may begin to feel ineffectual, imperfect, and strain to control what she can in her life. This small grasp for control is really the prelude to what can potentially be a much greater danger: the abuse of power."

"Oh Matron, Rinoa would never abuse her power! Half the time she tried to pretend as if she doesn't even have the abilities of a sorceress. And Rinoa, she's well, Rinoa. I know her. She would never seek to use her powers for anything but good. That's just how it is." Squall snapped back. She could tell he was instantly sorry for being so sharp to her.

"I'm- I'm sorry Matron. But I just know that can't be it. Rinoa would never..." He trailed off, lowering his eyes. Edea felt another rush of affection for the young man.

"I understand why you defend her, Squall. And she will need defending in the time to come. For, like I did, she is exhibiting symptoms of more than just stress. She's losing time, and losing control of her body and emotions. This is where the danger lies. Power is seductive. I was a woman taking care of many children, and had only their best interests at stake, but I grew to be the enemy of those same children, and would have killed them if my powers had not been absorbed into Rinoa back at Galbadia Garden."

She paused a moment to take a deep breath, and then continued. "Rinoa holds the power of many sorceresses. The power from when I was young, and the power of Ultimecia. Should she be taken in by the power that they offer her, it would be a catastrophe. You must protect Rinoa, and be her knight, just as she asked you to be a year ago. You must help her fight it. If you don't, then certain--"

Edea broke off as Cid unexpectedly entered the room. Deeming it better to keep her husband in the dark about the situation with Rinoa, at least for now, she smoothly transitioned into "--elements of this office need to be brightened up. At least open up a window, Squall dear."

--Balamb Garden, 3f Office

Squall frowned at the interruption, but more from trying to process all the new information. His Rinoa? The woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? Edea had made it sound like she was going to be another Ultimecia! He vowed never to let her slip away from him.

Never, Rinoa. I am your knight and I'll protect you until I die.

Thinking of Rinoa made him realize the note in the pocket was still unread. He stood from the guest chair and motioned to Edea. She understood and rose from the chair.

"Cid, I had just popped by to say hello to Squall while I waited for you to return to your office. I have something I must show you."

Cid nodded but turned to Squall. "Squall, I was just thinking, this office really could--"

"Now, Cid."

"Yes dear," he replied, throwing his hands up in the air with a small smile. Squall saluted the Headmaster and watched as the couple left the room, Edea closing the door gently behind them.

Squall settled now in his own chair and opened the note.

Squall,

I'm sorry about what happened last night. And I'm sorry I couldn't explain it to you. I couldn't... because I can't explain it myself, really. I think that there's a power growing inside of me, maybe something new, or something that I've had all along. Whatever it is, it's strong. I think with time I can learn to master it, so don't be afraid. Sometimes I just feel myself.. slip... and then there's a popping sound and I'm somewhere else and I can't remember what's been happening. Or sometimes it's like watching myself do something, but I can't control it. That's when it scares me the most. I'm worried I'll hurt you. I couldn't live with myself.

Squall frowned a moment. After that sentence her writing changed, became jerky and almost child-like. He resumed reading.

I'm writing this in the kitchen, hoping you will come down soon.

I'll be waiting here.

Please forgive these things I do.

Help.

--The House, Kitchen

Zell yawned, 8:45, late though it seemed, found him tired and cranky. They had been up until 4 am that morning cleaning up the glass downstairs, and all he needed now was some caffeine. He stumbled down the stairs still half-sleep and plodded into the kitchen. To his surprise and pleasure the coffee had been already made earlier in the morning, so he simply poured himself a cup and sat down at the table, blankly staring into space.

A noise behind him made him jump. He turned and saw Rinoa leaning on the door frame, one arm across it. She was deathly pale, but her eyes glowed with some power or energy he hadn't realized she possessed.

"Hello, Zell."

Wow! This was the longest chapter I've ever written. Hopefully it wasn't too long or dark for anyone!

Thanks to everyone who's been reading, especially those below who reviewed the last chapter!

Rinoa Leonhart- Ohmygosh you reviewed all the chapters! Thank you so much! I finally got around to saying what was wrong with Rinoa, yay!

Karla- You reviewed again! You're so sweet! I felt bad I had to make Squall fake-smile too hehe. Keep going on the Matrix!

Isis- You think that it rocks? Oh man! *blushes* Hope this chapter didn't disappoint!

Spirit Dragon- Ok, now I'm really really blushing! Thanks for sticking with me even though I didn't update in so long!

lilsingin'gem- You demanded more, you got more! Yay!

Cloud-123- Thanks for the review, please keep reading and let me know what you think!

Next time: What happens to Zell!!!