Note: Well, in a crazy game of poker against Squaresoft, I won FFVIII. But in the next hand I went double or nothing and lost it again. I swear it was rigged.

Additional authors note: So I've been really busy trying to get all my schoolwork in order for next semester... and I've been playing waaaay too much FFX-2. Don't hurt me for the no updating-ness! Please? ^_^

I Forgot Your Name

By Kupo

Chapter 10: You've Known All Along

--Timber Hospital, Waiting Room

Zell stood up and ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair.

"I can't take this anymore! When are they gonna let us know what's going on in there?!"

He looked from face to face. There were many people gathered, waiting to hear news of Laguna. There was a group of Esthar officials standing in the corner, discussing amongst themselves in quiet voices. Kiros and Ward were also present. Ward gave Zell a pained look and Kiros just stared sadly at Zell for a moment before returning his gaze to the floor. Desperate for some type of reassurance, Zell turned to his friends.

Irvine sat on one of the couches, one arm protectively around Selphie, and was resting his head in the other hand. He didn't look up at Zell, and Zell wondered if he had even heard him. Selphie sat quietly, her face nestled into the side of Irvine's neck. Zell could hear her crying softly. Uncomfortable, Zell returned to his chair and sat down. He felt a hand on his arm, and looked up to see Quistis. Her face was pale and her voice trembled as she spoke.

"Zell..." she offered quietly. "Zell, what can... what can we do...? There must... I should know... what can I do to-" she halted as her voice broke. Zell jumped up and hugged Quistis tightly, he understood how she felt she needed to take control.

Quistis always tries to look out for all of us... when really she's just as confused and frightened as we are.

As he rubbed Quistis' back, he looked over her shoulder at Squall and Rinoa. Rinoa sat in one of the single chairs, her knees pulled up to her chest, her feet resting on the seat. She was resting her forehead on her knees and Zell couldn't see her face. Squall stood across the room, his back to the group, as he had been since everyone had arrived at the hospital. He had one hand on the wall and the other clenched at his side. He seemed to feel Zell looking at him, and for the first time turned around to face the people gathered there. Zell was shocked by the haunted look on Squall's face, and Quistis turned to look when she felt Zell tense up.

Squall's face was ashen, but his eyes shone brightly. Zell was taken aback for a moment before he realized that Squall's eyes were filled with unshed tears. Squall stared at Zell for a moment. Roughly running a hand across his eyes, Squall gestured at himself.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? I'm fine, don't worry about me. I can't handle your pity anymore!"

Selphie looked up at Squall.

"Squall... we're not pitying you... we're here with you, we feel the same way you do! We need you just as much as you need us..." she trailed off softly.

"I don't need anything!" Squall protested angrily, and held a hand to each side of his head. "What do I have to worry about?! I just have to decide whether to stand by my father, which is still a joke in itself, or to stand beside the woman I love, who probably shoved the damn guy over the edge!" He cut himself off quickly, realizing he had said too much, but in his heart he knew it was already too late. Rinoa was staring at him, hugging her arms to her chest.

"Rinoa..." He spoke quietly, and began to move towards her. Rinoa stayed still a moment longer, and then with a soft cry she stood and fled the room.

The room was silent for a moment, and then Squall turned on his heel and went back to where he had been standing before, his back to the group once more.

"Squall," Irvine called from the couch. "What is wrong with you, man? Go after her!"

"......No," Squall replied after a moment. Everyone seemed to be taken aback by the lack of emotion in Squall's voice, but from his vantage point only Zell could see the tears that finally slipped from Squall's eyes to stain his shirt below.

--Timber Hospital, Parking Lot

Rinoa stood outside the hospital's main entrance, leaning against a stone column and waiting to see a cab that she could hail down. Every time she heard the hospital doors whoosh open and shut behind her, she hoped that she would feel Squall's arms encircle her from behind, that she would hear him whisper in her ear that he loved her, that he didn't believe she was capable of doing such awful things. But as the people bustled around her, she slowly began to realize that he wasn't coming to find her. Suddenly Rinoa felt she lacked the strength to stand and slowly sank until she was sitting on the curbside. She watched as the cars drove past until she lost track of time.

"He'll be better cared for in Galbadia anyway."

The familiar voice pulled Rinoa from her reverie and she looked behind her to see her friends finally leaving the hospital. Suddenly panicked, Rinoa moved behind the pillar so that they would not see her as they continued past. She listened as Selphie continued.

"In Galbadia... they'll find something to help him wake up, right?" Rinoa watched as Irvine kissed the top of Selphie's head as they continued towards the car. Quistis halfway nodded an answer to Selphie's question.

"Of course they will!" Zell declared, although his voice lacked conviction.

Rinoa moved again so that she could watch as they all got into the car. Behind everyone else walked Squall. He moved heavily, as if the weight of the world rested upon his shoulders alone.

I want to run to him, to hold him and tell him everything is alright... like I used to...

Rinoa watched as out of deference to Squall's state, Zell, Selphie and Irvine all crammed in the backseat to give Squall the front passenger seat. She watched his face, looking for a sign that he wanted her, needed her. As Quistis started the car, Squall looked out the window.

Rinoa's heart stopped as she realized that he was looking directly at her. She held up a hand, a tentative wave, unsure of what she could do to make him see how much she needed him, how frightened she was of being left behind, of being left alone.

We're the same, Squall... we're scared of the same thing... Don't leave me... we are the same... and I love you...

Squall made no motion to her, and continued to hold her eyes with his until Quistis started the car and drove away.

--House In Balamb, Squall's Bedroom

Squall sat stiffly at his desk. In front of him was a clean sheet of paper and a pen. He picked the pen up and again tried to figure out exactly what he needed to write. Frowning, he wrote down two words, and drew a vertical line between the two of them. His frown deepened as he heard a knock at his door. He called out for them to come in.

Kiros entered the room and softly shut Squall's door behind him.

"Hello Squall," he said with concern.

Squall was startled to have one of his father's best friends show up in his bedroom so unexpectedly, and jumped up to offer Kiros his hand. Kiros took it and shook it briefly.

"Please, sit down, sir," Squall began, and offered Kiros the chair that he himself had just been sitting in. Kiros sat down and looked at Squall expectantly.

"Well?"

"Well what, sir? Is there something you needed?" Squall asked, rather confused.

"I'm just waiting for you to ask me what you've been thinking about ever since you left the hospital."

Squall sighed and looked down, a hand to his eyes. Kiros paused for a moment and then continued.

"Laguna would tell you to go after her, you know?" Squall looked up, shocked that Kiros knew he was thinking about what someone else might do if placed in the same situation. "Laguna's one of my best friends, and I know he would never leave someone who was in trouble. It's one of the reasons I admire him so much. Sure... he might be a total dunderhead when it comes to public policy and to remembering people's names... but he truly cares about other people. He cares about you, Squall... he sometimes just doesn't know how to express it," Kiros explained, and then added with a smile, "A trait you and he share, I assume?"

Squall frowned.

I don't have time to be thinking about this. I need to decide what I'm going to do... what's the right choice?!

"Laguna would want you to go after her. You don't know how proud you made him... when he found out that you went into space to save her, that you fought for her at the sorceress memorial, that you found each other through the chaos of time compression... he stood up and yelled 'That's my kid!!!' He knows how much you love Rinoa, and he would understand your need to go after her."

For the second time in the same day, Squall felt tears spring unbidden to his eyes. To hide his face, he walked to his window and looked out. Sighing, he spoke softly.

"So it wouldn't be...?"

"A betrayal? Because he's your father? No, Squall. Nothing would make Laguna prouder than to see his son stand beside the woman he loves."

Maybe I've always been just a little too hard on Laguna. I guess I felt betrayed that he let me sit in the orphanage, parentless, while he went off and had adventures. And it's always been safer to keep those feelings inside than to let them out and destroy the fragile peace between us now. But maybe... maybe he's understood that all along.

Squall turned to face Kiros.

"Thank you," he replied, earnestly. Kiros nodded, gave Squall a reassuring clap on the shoulder, and watched as Squall fled from the room.

--Centra, Field of Flowers

Rinoa sighed heavily as she sank to the ground, surrounded by flowers that held such memories for her. Brushing her hair back from her face, she looked around for a moment, looking for someone she knew wasn't there. Clasping her necklace that still bore both their rings, she called out aloud:

"This is where we are supposed to meet! When we're in trouble... when I need you... I come here and you find me! You promised! Squall!" she cried out, her voice trembling and breaking. "Find me! I need you!"

He's not coming... I've chased him away... how could I expect him to come for me? There's something wrong with me! I don't know how to fix it! But I can't be alone! I can't be without him! I love him!

"You're not alone."

Rinoa jumped up.

"Squall?" she called out, scanning the field around her. Seeing no one, she began to cry anew as a feeling of fresh desertion washed over her again.

"You're not alone if you don't want to be."

Rinoa hesitated before a timid curiosity got the better of her.

"Who's here?" she called out, not really expecting an answer.

"Your knight has left you alone. He doesn't care for you anymore. You're a poor, lonely woman. It's alright to feel frightened. But you don't have to feel alone."

"He didn't leave me! He just needed time to figure things out! He loves me, no matter what! Even if the world is my enemy! He told me he always would!"

"Then where is he?"

Rinoa had no answer.

"He's been gone a long time. I think it's best you realized that he's not coming back."

Rinoa began to get angry.

"Who are you? Come out and let me see you, coward! How could you think you know anything about me?!"

There was no answer, and Rinoa began to relax. Maybe she had been imagining it all, a result of the tremendous stress of the day. Then, suddenly:

"I can't come out."

"Why?!"

"Because I'm already out... because I am you."

"What? This doesn't make any sense! I'm right here, how can I be imagining this? I'm not crazy!"

"I'm that part of you that's been sleeping. I've been trying to wake up for some time now... I've been watching you, I've seen how the others have hurt you, shunned you, been frightened of you... and I've seen how the one you love above all others has left you on your own. That's why I'm here, Rinoa. You don't have to be alone anymore. You need someone, don't you? You're a weak girl, but that's alright. Together, we will be strong. I will never leave you, like your fallen knight has."

"That's not true! This isn't happening, it's all in my head!"

"If it's all in your head, what's the harm in indulging in a little fantasy? One final fantasy?"

"I'm not alone! Go away!" she called out to the flowers around her, clenching her fists at her sides.

"I assure you, you are alone. But it doesn't have to be that way. Give in."

"Go away!"

"Give in, you'll never feel the pain, the betrayal of love, again."

"No..."

"Give in!!!"

"I... won't... ever..."

"I'm done sleeping. Give in to it, Rinoa"

Rinoa cried out as she felt a pressure build inside her head. She held a hand to each of her temples as she crumpled back to the ground. Her heart beat furiously and an unbearable pain began to build inside her, radiating out from her heart to every point in her body.

"Give... IN!"

With a bright explosion of colors all around her, Rinoa moaned softly as she slipped into unconsciousness.

"Squall..."

--Centra, Field of Flowers

Squall paused at the edge of the field, scanning the area in front of him.

I thought for sure that she would be here... it's where... we promised.

A splash of color that didn't belong caught his eye. A bright blue, barely visible. He ran toward it as fast as he could, his heart in his throat. When he got to her, he was horrified to see her curled up on the ground.

Oh no, please not again... let her wake up!

He pulled the gloves from his hands and gently turned Rinoa over, resting her head in his lap. He brushed her hair away from her face and whispered her name softly, much in the same exact way she had once done for him after time compression. He closed his eyes, unable to bear the guilt that assaulted him for ever leaving her alone.

"Squall?"

"Rinoa?!" He cried out with joy, pulling her close to him. After he released her, he looked deeply into her eyes and spoke earnestly, his voice cracking with emotion. "Rinoa, I'm sorry I left you alone. I am now and forever your knight. I love you too damn much to ever let you go. Where ever you go, I will follow. I... I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out."

Rinoa smiled and laid a soft hand to the side of his face.

"It is alright, Squall. I understand."

Squall laid his hand over hers. "But what about you? Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

"Yes, fine. I was just... sleeping. But I'm awake now. And you're here. Everything is... perfect."

Squall was confused by her choice of words but decided not to peruse the matter until later.

"Let's head home, Rinoa... everyone is worried about you," he said, taking her hand and helping her to her feet. Rinoa slipped an arm around his waist and nodded with a slight smile.

"Yes... let's go home."

Okie, there we go! Finally! Like I said before, my life has been pretty insane lately, I am working all the time and trying to get everything in order for my next semester at college, but I always knew that once I had time to return to this, I would. I will try and update again when I can! Please review ^_^

eDSta- This one's for you, man! Thanks for the email, let me know if this one was up to par with the rest of them!

Noacat- Thank you thank you thank you! I love your stories, I was so excited to see you review one of mine. *bows, is honored*

aZnDrEaMeR1788- Thanks for your review, and yep! You bet it's gonna get more complicated!

bembem- Just for you I decided to keep Laguna alive... for now! Mwahahaha!

DemonRyu- Where did you get a Laguna doll?!?! I want one! *pouts* Let me know what you think of this chapter =)

squeakychris- I'm glad you liked the flashbacks, hopefully you didn't get too lost. I was trying to make them all from really recent situations, it's my bad for not explaining that one better =P Was this chapter good, too?

SpiritDragon- I love you. You're such a sweet reviewer. Teehee. Let me know what you think of this one, ya?

Ariennye- There you go, some more! Thanks for your review, tell me what you think of this chapter, too!

That's all for now, loves! (See... I told you I've been playing too much FFX-2! LeBlanc, oy!) Te amo~ Kupo