Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters in this story, but Duh
my own. I haven't a thing to do with Lotr in any way shape or form.
Lets just jump right in then. We join our pathetically ill-formed fellowship at a time in their journey when nothing spectacular was happening.....after Rivendell, but before Moria and the mountain, you know....so in the woods somewheres.
Aragorn and Gandalf led the pack, talking and walking, and musing and stepping and thinking and moving and chatting and...well you get the idea. Frodo and the other hobites stumbled along slowly behind them, their tired hobby feet....well tired from walking. Legolas walked behind them barely making a dent in the wet ground, and behind him, Boromir, trudging along and carrying way more than he should have brought for such a journey...and lastly, bringing up the rear to this hippopotamus shaped figure of manly men, was Gimli, the dwarf with a heart of gold.
A twig snapping in the woods deeper caused Aragorn to stop, and thus the others stopping behind him.
"Halt.....I hear something." He drew his sword slowly ready to fight, but then....hand cramp! He cursed loudly and dropped it as a lost orc burst trough the tree's!
"Oh...hey...dudes. I...well its kinda silly, but I got myself lost! Do you guys know where Moria is?" The orc snarled viciously, scratching at his bulbous head.
"....He's headed right for us!!!" They all screeched and started to back away, unable to possibly defend themselves and too stunned to look away.
"I was ju-"His strange savage threats were cut off as an arrow struck him in the chest from behind, puncturing his nasty orc skin. They all stared, flabbergasted as the scene unfolded. The orc fell down like some hideously gross dead beast curtain in a hellish play to reveal an elvish beauty standing behind him. They collectively gasped. Maybe it was the heat waving off the dead orc corpse or those strange mushrooms pip told them to eat earlier, but she shone like a ray of golden sun.
Her long blond hair was tied loosely behind her, with some strands falling into her horribly bright face, like so many old yellow rotten corn shanks on to an old tan farm floor that no one cares for anymore. And oh, her face.
Her pink lips were parted slightly like two pink leaves shaped like pretty lips, her eyes, greener than the forest around them sparkled like a thousand emeralds on fire in the great emerald fire of 89' . Her perfectly sculpted cheek bones rivaled that of a thousand of Legolas' and her long body swayed and curved like a swaying and curvy line under a simultaneously demure and hoeish green tunic, tied at the waist with a brown sash.
And lastly her legs, they stretched down to the ground covered by delicate thin brown leggings and tall boots.
"Stupid orc.......Moria is so far away." She got a distant look in her eyes and smiled at them.
"Thank you kind elf-lady. Who are you?" Aragorn said, managing to pick up his sword.
"I am Dutchesscountessprincess Arsalqueridelwen the 23rd.....and sadly...the last." She gave a small delicate sigh that sounded more like a burp and they all swooned.
"What brings you to these woods?" Legolas asked staring at her like she was a magic eye picture that needed figuring out to see the 3d picture.(It's a spaceship....)
"Alas...my home town, from a land far off and away has been destroyed. I came to seek Elrond, my uncles-brothers-cousins-fourth cousin on my fathers left hand side....for we are close....and tell him of my plight."
"How tragic...." Frodo managed to utter out, his eyes as wide as cheap blue saucers staring at her beauty.
She wiped a slowly rolling crystal tear from her cheek and tossed it away for others to pick up and nodded slowly.
"Indeed......anwyho....he knew of my great power as an elf archer, at such a young age too, and told me to go find you incase you needed help." An unexplained wind tossed her delicate corn stalk looking hair up into the air to dance with the clouds like they cared.
"Um....but Mary..." Gandalf started.
"Oh, Arsalqueridelwen please.." She smiled and nodded for him to continue.
"Right.....how did you find us? We ourselves have journeyed for days and.....well....dude these woods are huge."
Her delicate lips pouted and she turned away.
"It is a miracle indeed........." She stared off again, her long eyelashes fluttering in the, again, unexplained wind. Gandalf started to speak again but Gimli grabbed his arm.
"Just let it go man......just let it go.." He said nodding. Gandalf rolled his eyes.
"whatev..." He cleared his throat.
"Yes, well we should be moving along......what with the ring....and impending doom and all." He started to walk again, Gimli close behind.
The journey - dooon't stop believin'- continued on until night fell and they could walk no more. All day they had listened, enchanted to Arsalqueridelwen's tales from her town and how she traveled here, occasionally, another crystal tear would fall from her eye and spill on to the ground for someone else to slip in and thank her for bringing them closer to the earth.....*ahem* They decided to make camp in a perfect clearing in the woods. This so called clearing happened to be devoid of monsters, mud, dirt, twigs and any other crap to hinder their comfort.
"The earth itself blesses you Arsalqueridelwen by showing us the way to this place." Legolas smiled at her.
"Gawd, I hate nature." She muttered, dusting off a spot in vain and sitting down.
"Pardon?"
"Erm....I said.....oh....glad...we...get...this nurture...." She gave a dazzling smile with a mouth full of teeth white and shiny like buffed shiny chiclets. He swooned and went to find fire wood. The misc. Hobbit's fell asleep quickly on the ground, having nothing else important to do in the story....er....in the clearing. Frodo sat alone staring down at his hands.
"I need a manicure." He said softly to himself.
"Yeah you do..." Arsalqueridelwen appeared behind him, able to walk as softly on the ground as a rapid breeze.....except when it catches hold of the leaves, causing them to rustle and make noise......then its not quiet at all.
"What?" He turned quickly, startled by her.
"I said we all have important things to do Frodo..." She smiled sweetly and his heart grew warm....and warmer, and warmer, until a burning sensation filled his chest!
"Ouch! She's a witch!!" He shrieked and ran off to find water. The others looked up from the fire they built.
"What?" Aragorn said, speaking for the first time since he had last spoken.
"Uhm, nothing!" She smiled and stood back up, headed towards where they were sitting, joining them around the fire to toast elfmallows and tell spooky stories.
What lies in wait for out crew next....only the mysterious chapter two knows! Dun dun dun!! -PBee and Jay say: R&R
Lets just jump right in then. We join our pathetically ill-formed fellowship at a time in their journey when nothing spectacular was happening.....after Rivendell, but before Moria and the mountain, you know....so in the woods somewheres.
Aragorn and Gandalf led the pack, talking and walking, and musing and stepping and thinking and moving and chatting and...well you get the idea. Frodo and the other hobites stumbled along slowly behind them, their tired hobby feet....well tired from walking. Legolas walked behind them barely making a dent in the wet ground, and behind him, Boromir, trudging along and carrying way more than he should have brought for such a journey...and lastly, bringing up the rear to this hippopotamus shaped figure of manly men, was Gimli, the dwarf with a heart of gold.
A twig snapping in the woods deeper caused Aragorn to stop, and thus the others stopping behind him.
"Halt.....I hear something." He drew his sword slowly ready to fight, but then....hand cramp! He cursed loudly and dropped it as a lost orc burst trough the tree's!
"Oh...hey...dudes. I...well its kinda silly, but I got myself lost! Do you guys know where Moria is?" The orc snarled viciously, scratching at his bulbous head.
"....He's headed right for us!!!" They all screeched and started to back away, unable to possibly defend themselves and too stunned to look away.
"I was ju-"His strange savage threats were cut off as an arrow struck him in the chest from behind, puncturing his nasty orc skin. They all stared, flabbergasted as the scene unfolded. The orc fell down like some hideously gross dead beast curtain in a hellish play to reveal an elvish beauty standing behind him. They collectively gasped. Maybe it was the heat waving off the dead orc corpse or those strange mushrooms pip told them to eat earlier, but she shone like a ray of golden sun.
Her long blond hair was tied loosely behind her, with some strands falling into her horribly bright face, like so many old yellow rotten corn shanks on to an old tan farm floor that no one cares for anymore. And oh, her face.
Her pink lips were parted slightly like two pink leaves shaped like pretty lips, her eyes, greener than the forest around them sparkled like a thousand emeralds on fire in the great emerald fire of 89' . Her perfectly sculpted cheek bones rivaled that of a thousand of Legolas' and her long body swayed and curved like a swaying and curvy line under a simultaneously demure and hoeish green tunic, tied at the waist with a brown sash.
And lastly her legs, they stretched down to the ground covered by delicate thin brown leggings and tall boots.
"Stupid orc.......Moria is so far away." She got a distant look in her eyes and smiled at them.
"Thank you kind elf-lady. Who are you?" Aragorn said, managing to pick up his sword.
"I am Dutchesscountessprincess Arsalqueridelwen the 23rd.....and sadly...the last." She gave a small delicate sigh that sounded more like a burp and they all swooned.
"What brings you to these woods?" Legolas asked staring at her like she was a magic eye picture that needed figuring out to see the 3d picture.(It's a spaceship....)
"Alas...my home town, from a land far off and away has been destroyed. I came to seek Elrond, my uncles-brothers-cousins-fourth cousin on my fathers left hand side....for we are close....and tell him of my plight."
"How tragic...." Frodo managed to utter out, his eyes as wide as cheap blue saucers staring at her beauty.
She wiped a slowly rolling crystal tear from her cheek and tossed it away for others to pick up and nodded slowly.
"Indeed......anwyho....he knew of my great power as an elf archer, at such a young age too, and told me to go find you incase you needed help." An unexplained wind tossed her delicate corn stalk looking hair up into the air to dance with the clouds like they cared.
"Um....but Mary..." Gandalf started.
"Oh, Arsalqueridelwen please.." She smiled and nodded for him to continue.
"Right.....how did you find us? We ourselves have journeyed for days and.....well....dude these woods are huge."
Her delicate lips pouted and she turned away.
"It is a miracle indeed........." She stared off again, her long eyelashes fluttering in the, again, unexplained wind. Gandalf started to speak again but Gimli grabbed his arm.
"Just let it go man......just let it go.." He said nodding. Gandalf rolled his eyes.
"whatev..." He cleared his throat.
"Yes, well we should be moving along......what with the ring....and impending doom and all." He started to walk again, Gimli close behind.
The journey - dooon't stop believin'- continued on until night fell and they could walk no more. All day they had listened, enchanted to Arsalqueridelwen's tales from her town and how she traveled here, occasionally, another crystal tear would fall from her eye and spill on to the ground for someone else to slip in and thank her for bringing them closer to the earth.....*ahem* They decided to make camp in a perfect clearing in the woods. This so called clearing happened to be devoid of monsters, mud, dirt, twigs and any other crap to hinder their comfort.
"The earth itself blesses you Arsalqueridelwen by showing us the way to this place." Legolas smiled at her.
"Gawd, I hate nature." She muttered, dusting off a spot in vain and sitting down.
"Pardon?"
"Erm....I said.....oh....glad...we...get...this nurture...." She gave a dazzling smile with a mouth full of teeth white and shiny like buffed shiny chiclets. He swooned and went to find fire wood. The misc. Hobbit's fell asleep quickly on the ground, having nothing else important to do in the story....er....in the clearing. Frodo sat alone staring down at his hands.
"I need a manicure." He said softly to himself.
"Yeah you do..." Arsalqueridelwen appeared behind him, able to walk as softly on the ground as a rapid breeze.....except when it catches hold of the leaves, causing them to rustle and make noise......then its not quiet at all.
"What?" He turned quickly, startled by her.
"I said we all have important things to do Frodo..." She smiled sweetly and his heart grew warm....and warmer, and warmer, until a burning sensation filled his chest!
"Ouch! She's a witch!!" He shrieked and ran off to find water. The others looked up from the fire they built.
"What?" Aragorn said, speaking for the first time since he had last spoken.
"Uhm, nothing!" She smiled and stood back up, headed towards where they were sitting, joining them around the fire to toast elfmallows and tell spooky stories.
What lies in wait for out crew next....only the mysterious chapter two knows! Dun dun dun!! -PBee and Jay say: R&R
