Jay and I have gone...to an island somewheres, to chill with
zombies....and wait for a hottie (Michael Kelly *drools* ) to join
us..........back to writing now!! Eeeeee!
When we last left our ship of fellows they were still trekking along on their quest to get laid....oh.....what? Oh sorry, on their quest to destroy that one ring. *Spinning Mary Sue logo*
Arsalqueridelwen trudged on with the group, and even having a severe cheek injury didn't slow her down. A trooper if there ever was one, a survivor, a soldier, one who keeps walking, a walker, a device to help old folks.............
The others admired her courage and kept striving on too, mostly for fear of looking like wimps. Gimli looked back momentarily and nodded.
"That lass has courage!" He said to Gandalf.
"Dammit Gimli, say it don't spray- "He stopped himself suddenly, realizing what Gimli had said and turned to him.
"Not you too! Gimli snap out of it! Game over man! Game over!" He grabbed the dwarfs shoulders and shook him violently like one might shake a jar of low fat French Vanilla creamer before using it.
"What's the problem? Are we near our destination?" Arsalqueridelwen stepped beside them and gave a look further up the path. Gandalf dropped a dizzy Gimli and rolled his eyes again.
"You do realize how far away Mordor is right?" He said staring at her. She got a dramatic look and turned to look at the sky.
"It doesn't matter how far or near it may or may not probably will be. I shall journey onwards, forwards to protect this great land and those in it!" She raised a hand to her forehead and posed. Uproarious clapping came from behind them as the others watched in awe at her strength.
"So where are we headed?" Aragorn appeared in the story beside them like a little kid, wanting to be involved in the hoopla.
"Well.....we could go up the mountain, only to realize its far to windy and cold, then elf boy would embarrass us by showing off.....end result....we must go through the mines of Moria!" Gandalf said with a sigh.
"The....Mines of Moria?!" Arsalqueridelwen said ominously. Gandalf nodded.
"The....the the.....Mines of Moria?" Aragorn and Boromir stuttered. Gandalf rolled his eyes.
"Yes already...."
"The Mines..................of Moria." Gimli said proudly.
"THAT'S WHAT I SAID ALREADY!" Gandalf erupted shouting at him.
"The..." Frodo started but Gandalf gave him a mean look and he shut up quickly. Arsalqueridelwen stepped forwards ahead of the group.
"Fine, you needn't worry Frodo, I shall protect you!" Her silky raven hair, as dark as a thousand black nights that have been spilled with dark ink made from blackness shined in the midday sun.
"I thought your hair was blond....." Gandalf frowned. She nodded.
"It changes when I am about to face great peril and danger...." She stared off into the distance, probably seeing how far she could see without hurting her eyes.
"A curse sent down upon me by my (just now mentioned) jealous aunt." Awww.
"Dye job..." Gimli whispered softly and Gandalf nodded.
"Very well...lets go then." And they started walking again, led by the fierce and beautiful, fiercely beautiful Arsalqueridelwen. And despite her having never been here before, she somehow knew the way.....somehow.
* * Meanwhile!
* *
Sauron sat tapping his fingers on his black throne.
"Where's my latte!?!?" He shouted in a bellowing voice. A nervous orc rushed into the room holding a tiny tray and cup. Sauron grabbed it and took a drink, the orc shaking beside him.
"I SAID NO SUGAR!" Sauron tossed the cup back to the orc and it rushed out again to fix the coffee. Sauron's such a snob.
"Mr. Sauron?" Another nervous orc peeked in.
"Yeeeeaaaaasssss?" He said impatiently.
"Ringwraith number 1 here to see you.....and Saruman's on the Palantir again.."
"Ugh....send him in....and tell that whiner....that....im visiting my mother..." He waved an armored hand and sighed.
"But sir....you're the dark lord.....you...um...have no mother...." The orc said nervously.
"THEN MAKE SOMETHING UP!!! Tell him im on vacation!! Jeez!!" He roared and the orc jumped out. A moment later and the main....wraith bad guy stepped in, his cloak fluttering in the non-breeze.
"Did you capture her yet?" Sauron growled.
"Uh...n-no sir. Not yet....we got close but she's really very strong." He said.
"WHAT? I need her here! She could cause great trouble out there!!" He slammed his fist down. The wraith jumped but kept talking.
"But....um....sir. You've told us to...capture her...but can we ask why? She's just an elf...why not kill her....or better yet get Bob to do it....he's new and all....Why?"
"That's how it always is in these stories..." Sauron said under his breath.
"What?" The wraith asked, leaning closer.
"NOTHING! She's very powerful! And I have a needlessly extravagant plot planned involving her and her power! So bring her to me! And without anymore questions!" He screamed again and the wraith shuffled out.
"So hard to find good work....." Sauron grumbled. "But soon.....I shall have the power I need to do anything I want! Blockbuster will never charge me with late fee's again!!! MUAAHAHAHA!" His cackling echoed throughout Mordor and stretched across middle earth like a bad smell from rotting garbage left in a hardly used room.
Back in the woods they neared the door of Moria and night started to fall upon the party. They paused for a minute to eat, Arsalqueridelwen sitting apart from the others and staring out into the distance as she often did when....well when anything happened. Aragorn stepped up to her and sat down.
"Your power is great. I admire you for that..." He said smiling at her.
"Its cause you got a thing for elves perv..." She muttered softly.
"Huh?" He cocked his head to the side...........(hehehe....)
She turned to him and her delicate pink lips curved into a
smile.
"Oh nothing....um...thank you...brave Aragorn....your words mean much to me." Her green eyes sparkled in the growing night. Sparkled like green fruit juice, spilled on a clean white linoleum floor your mom just cleaned. Aragorn turned away quickly and clutched his necklace, thinking of Arwen.
"Ohhh. That's pretty! Zales?" Arsalqueridelwen asked, peering at the shiny necklace.
"What? Um...no...my female friend gave this to me....my Arwen friend......a girl friend of mine named....Arwen....." He sighed softly. What a dilemma choosing between two stunning elf gals.
"I see...." Arsalqueridelwen stood up and smiled at him.
"Have hope Aragorn, that all will work out in the end."
"Of this rambling story?" Sam asked, speaking for the first time.
"No you dolt, in life!" Arsalqueridelwen let her pleather couch green eyes sparkle at them some more before going to find Legolas. It was indeed a tough time for them, and soon they would journey into the mines. The legendary casino mines of Moria, where one scarcely came out with any money.....let alone...your life!
Next time....into the mines...oooooh.....Short chap, I know. -Pbee and Jay love you! 3
When we last left our ship of fellows they were still trekking along on their quest to get laid....oh.....what? Oh sorry, on their quest to destroy that one ring. *Spinning Mary Sue logo*
Arsalqueridelwen trudged on with the group, and even having a severe cheek injury didn't slow her down. A trooper if there ever was one, a survivor, a soldier, one who keeps walking, a walker, a device to help old folks.............
The others admired her courage and kept striving on too, mostly for fear of looking like wimps. Gimli looked back momentarily and nodded.
"That lass has courage!" He said to Gandalf.
"Dammit Gimli, say it don't spray- "He stopped himself suddenly, realizing what Gimli had said and turned to him.
"Not you too! Gimli snap out of it! Game over man! Game over!" He grabbed the dwarfs shoulders and shook him violently like one might shake a jar of low fat French Vanilla creamer before using it.
"What's the problem? Are we near our destination?" Arsalqueridelwen stepped beside them and gave a look further up the path. Gandalf dropped a dizzy Gimli and rolled his eyes again.
"You do realize how far away Mordor is right?" He said staring at her. She got a dramatic look and turned to look at the sky.
"It doesn't matter how far or near it may or may not probably will be. I shall journey onwards, forwards to protect this great land and those in it!" She raised a hand to her forehead and posed. Uproarious clapping came from behind them as the others watched in awe at her strength.
"So where are we headed?" Aragorn appeared in the story beside them like a little kid, wanting to be involved in the hoopla.
"Well.....we could go up the mountain, only to realize its far to windy and cold, then elf boy would embarrass us by showing off.....end result....we must go through the mines of Moria!" Gandalf said with a sigh.
"The....Mines of Moria?!" Arsalqueridelwen said ominously. Gandalf nodded.
"The....the the.....Mines of Moria?" Aragorn and Boromir stuttered. Gandalf rolled his eyes.
"Yes already...."
"The Mines..................of Moria." Gimli said proudly.
"THAT'S WHAT I SAID ALREADY!" Gandalf erupted shouting at him.
"The..." Frodo started but Gandalf gave him a mean look and he shut up quickly. Arsalqueridelwen stepped forwards ahead of the group.
"Fine, you needn't worry Frodo, I shall protect you!" Her silky raven hair, as dark as a thousand black nights that have been spilled with dark ink made from blackness shined in the midday sun.
"I thought your hair was blond....." Gandalf frowned. She nodded.
"It changes when I am about to face great peril and danger...." She stared off into the distance, probably seeing how far she could see without hurting her eyes.
"A curse sent down upon me by my (just now mentioned) jealous aunt." Awww.
"Dye job..." Gimli whispered softly and Gandalf nodded.
"Very well...lets go then." And they started walking again, led by the fierce and beautiful, fiercely beautiful Arsalqueridelwen. And despite her having never been here before, she somehow knew the way.....somehow.
* * Meanwhile!
* *
Sauron sat tapping his fingers on his black throne.
"Where's my latte!?!?" He shouted in a bellowing voice. A nervous orc rushed into the room holding a tiny tray and cup. Sauron grabbed it and took a drink, the orc shaking beside him.
"I SAID NO SUGAR!" Sauron tossed the cup back to the orc and it rushed out again to fix the coffee. Sauron's such a snob.
"Mr. Sauron?" Another nervous orc peeked in.
"Yeeeeaaaaasssss?" He said impatiently.
"Ringwraith number 1 here to see you.....and Saruman's on the Palantir again.."
"Ugh....send him in....and tell that whiner....that....im visiting my mother..." He waved an armored hand and sighed.
"But sir....you're the dark lord.....you...um...have no mother...." The orc said nervously.
"THEN MAKE SOMETHING UP!!! Tell him im on vacation!! Jeez!!" He roared and the orc jumped out. A moment later and the main....wraith bad guy stepped in, his cloak fluttering in the non-breeze.
"Did you capture her yet?" Sauron growled.
"Uh...n-no sir. Not yet....we got close but she's really very strong." He said.
"WHAT? I need her here! She could cause great trouble out there!!" He slammed his fist down. The wraith jumped but kept talking.
"But....um....sir. You've told us to...capture her...but can we ask why? She's just an elf...why not kill her....or better yet get Bob to do it....he's new and all....Why?"
"That's how it always is in these stories..." Sauron said under his breath.
"What?" The wraith asked, leaning closer.
"NOTHING! She's very powerful! And I have a needlessly extravagant plot planned involving her and her power! So bring her to me! And without anymore questions!" He screamed again and the wraith shuffled out.
"So hard to find good work....." Sauron grumbled. "But soon.....I shall have the power I need to do anything I want! Blockbuster will never charge me with late fee's again!!! MUAAHAHAHA!" His cackling echoed throughout Mordor and stretched across middle earth like a bad smell from rotting garbage left in a hardly used room.
Back in the woods they neared the door of Moria and night started to fall upon the party. They paused for a minute to eat, Arsalqueridelwen sitting apart from the others and staring out into the distance as she often did when....well when anything happened. Aragorn stepped up to her and sat down.
"Your power is great. I admire you for that..." He said smiling at her.
"Its cause you got a thing for elves perv..." She muttered softly.
"Huh?" He cocked his head to the side...........(hehehe....)
She turned to him and her delicate pink lips curved into a
smile.
"Oh nothing....um...thank you...brave Aragorn....your words mean much to me." Her green eyes sparkled in the growing night. Sparkled like green fruit juice, spilled on a clean white linoleum floor your mom just cleaned. Aragorn turned away quickly and clutched his necklace, thinking of Arwen.
"Ohhh. That's pretty! Zales?" Arsalqueridelwen asked, peering at the shiny necklace.
"What? Um...no...my female friend gave this to me....my Arwen friend......a girl friend of mine named....Arwen....." He sighed softly. What a dilemma choosing between two stunning elf gals.
"I see...." Arsalqueridelwen stood up and smiled at him.
"Have hope Aragorn, that all will work out in the end."
"Of this rambling story?" Sam asked, speaking for the first time.
"No you dolt, in life!" Arsalqueridelwen let her pleather couch green eyes sparkle at them some more before going to find Legolas. It was indeed a tough time for them, and soon they would journey into the mines. The legendary casino mines of Moria, where one scarcely came out with any money.....let alone...your life!
Next time....into the mines...oooooh.....Short chap, I know. -Pbee and Jay love you! 3
