Disclaimer: I just own the plot.

Review Responses:

Bonezz - Glad you said that sometimes a none too happy chapter can be a good thing because this one isn't that happy in parts. I'm sorry I haven't had chance to read your updated story yet, I've been working madly on some essays. I'll read and review it as soon as I can! Thanks for reviewing!

Al Fafas - Well Draco's pleased to an extent, he's not over the moon but he is delighted to see Narcissa so happy. He's also pleased to have another confirmation of how serious her and Severus' relationship is. Thank you for your praise and the review and I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Errisar - I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and the Narc and Draco interaction. I too wish JK's Draco would be more kind and conscientious. Thank you also for saying that his transition was believable. This story will follow them through the marriage and the birth then end but there will be an epilogue to give us a view of the future. You'll see more Weasleys yes because I love them so. I am so sorry I kept you waiting, my author's note will explain why and I updated ASAP after receiving your second review as I wouldn't want you to go into withdrawal from a lack of fanfic or anything after those exams! Well done on the history test and I hope the other exams you mentioned went well. Thanks for the reviews!

Dark Comet - Do you mean an explanation of the pregnancy? Well I'm assuming you mean why weren't they being careful and not after a birds and the bees talk. LOL! Basically these things happen, they're not entirely sure either but basically someone probably forgot to take something. I'll leave it mostly to your imaginations though. Yeah my mum would never have encouraged me to bunk off either more's the pity! You're right, why haven't they started selling that piece of merchandise? I'd buy one! Yep, that was what I was talking about. Thanks for the review!

T.A. Skywalker - Glad you've been enjoying this, I'm quite flattered you took the trouble to print some of this out. I knew about Severus being a Roman Emperor but not about the town called Snape, I have to say (though this story probably makes it obvious) I adore Snape too! Sorry if the English phases threw you sometimes, I do try to weed out any really odd ones I might have put in or offer explanations but I don't always know which ones won't be understood. Which of the non-main characters in the story did you think I needed to improve? Do tell me who and how because I do want to improve. Glad you like my Weasleys, I love writing for them. So sorry I haven't read your update but I've been snowed under with work of late, I'll read and review when I get the chance. Good luck with those exams, thanks for the review!

Aki-Ame1 - I already killed someone! Two people actually, no three! I'm still traumatised by those three as well! LOL! Well I'm glad you like it despite the lack of death! Thanks for the review!

Huskerinexile - I'm glad you enjoyed this so much and that you think I've got Harry in perspective even though he's not much in it. Hope the update didn't take too long, ok so it did and I'm really sorry about that! Thanks for the review!

A/N: Once again I am so sorry for the wait! Don't kill me or stop reading in despair! I've had a lot of work and my beta reader is snowed under as well, so I'm posting this chapter unbetaed as she's very busy. I've just handed in my essays for the moment so the next update should come soon, but it'll be unbetaed until ilovesporks gets through her workload.

I Found a Little Courage to Call it Off

**Narcissa's Thoughts**

Chapter 21

The weekend after the discovery of her pregnancy, Severus and Narcissa were invited to the Weasleys for a little celebration. Molly's knitting needles had gone into overdrive and they were presented with more baby clothes than one child could ever wear. Particularly when added to the, not inconsiderable, amount Narcissa had already bought herself when she and Draco had gone for their afternoon shopping trip earlier in the week.

After the celebrations were over the two of them sat down to talk things through, as certain things looked like having to be adjusted.

"We're going to have to change the dates for the wedding," Narcissa pointed out.

"Why?" Severus asked.

"Well let's look at it this way, this child is not being born out of wedlock, it just isn't fashionable and I am not having it look like a shot-gun wedding with me waddling up the isle!"

Severus, most unwisely, chuckled at that image.

"And if you're daring to even think about finding that idea funny...!" Narcissa left her threat hanging.

Severus stopped laughing and smirked at his bride to be. "You see this is why girls like you marry the rich, smooth talking guy who doesn't get you pregnant months before the wedding rather than the one who's 'rough around the edges' and causes you to need a tent instead of a wedding dress!"

Narcissa looked singularly unamused at this and glared at the man, "Don't tempt me sweetheart, there's enough rich, smooth talking guys out there I could exchange you for!"

Severus simply laughed and picked up the paper again. "Narcissa, have the wedding where and when you like. I'd marry you tomorrow if it would make you happy."

Her expression softened, "Would you really?"

"What?"

"Marry me tomorrow if it would make me happy?"

"Of course I would, if it'd keep you quiet!"

"Severus!"

The long and the short of the ensuing conversation was that they both learnt important lessons. Severus learnt that you never attempt to wind up a pregnant woman and Narcissa learnt that Severus could pull his wand and disarm her before she could hit him with a hex. Severus also learnt that there was little Narcissa wouldn't forgive once you'd given her a box of chocolates.

*******

Once things had calmed down, the two of them finally settled on a date in early January for their wedding. Narcissa had firmly rebuffed Severus' idea of having the wedding at Christmas, claiming it was too cliché and that everyone was doing that these days.

"I think we should have a small wedding. Just have the ceremony in the ballroom here or something," Narcissa suggested.

"You want a small wedding?" Severus couldn't quite hide his shock that Narcissa would forgo the opportunity to create a huge fuss.

"Don't sound so surprised, I've done the big white wedding thing once already and I don't really feel like going through it again. So let's keep the guest list relatively small."

The guest list was proving a point of contention between the two of them. Narcissa was not keen on the idea of inviting Dumbledore, despite her recent truce with the man, but Severus pointed out that it would be rather rude not to. The Weasley's were obviously invited, along with many of the Hogwarts staff, Greg and Blaise Zabini and various other people including Owen Green the young auror who had been involved in the raid on the manor after Lucius' death and who Narcissa had taken quite a liking to. When Severus had jokingly expressed surprise that she hadn't invited Fudge her response had been that it would be a terrible snub for him not to be invited. After that Severus had left her to it, laughing quietly as he imagined that the minister for magic had no wish to attend their wedding anyway.

Finally the guest list looked like being done. "Is there anyone from your family you want to put on this thing before I send it off to have the invitations made?" Narcissa asked Severus one weekend when they were busy preparing for the wedding.

"No, there's only really me and my parents and my father died when I was at Hogwarts."

"What about your mother, is she dead as well?" Narcissa asked, without glancing up from the parchment she was re-reading for the fifth time that morning.

"No," Severus said shortly, "but she wouldn't come."

Narcissa glanced up in surprise, "Hang on a moment, your mother's still alive?"

"Yes," Severus answered shortly.

Narcissa frowned, bemused, "Then why haven't I met her?"

"Narcissa I haven't seen her in nearly twenty years."

"Why?"

"We're not very close." Severus said this as though expecting it to bring an end to the conversation.

Narcissa bit her lip then decided to continue, "Sev, you should at least go and see her. I'm pregnant, I'm carrying her grandchild, she needs to know and I'm sure she'd want to!"

"No," he shook his head. "She wouldn't."

"Severus, people change. We should a least pay her the courtesy of a visit!"

"Narcissa..." He sighed, "If it means that much to you, fine we'll go but I assure you it will be a complete waste of time and she is _not_ coming to the wedding."

"Alright," Narcissa replied, now deeply curious. Severus never spoke of his family and she hoped she might finally find out why.

*******

The next weekend they flooed to the nearest town to Severus' old house. Narcissa had been advised not to apparate while pregnant and so they had a long walk in the rain to reach the house, which in Narcissa's opinion was not worth the walk to look at it.

The house was grey, dismal and forbidding. With the mists and light rain it looked like the setting for a horror story. **Compared to this Malfoy Manor looks like a bloody fun house!**

Upon reaching the steps of the house Severus pulled on an old bell pull and Narcissa cast some hasty drying charms on the two of them. She half expected the door to swing open by itself, however it was answered by a thin woman with black hair which was beginning to grey. She looked at Severus coldly, ignoring Narcissa. "Oh, it's you. I haven't seen you since the day you finished school, I heard you got mixed up with the Death Eaters; it didn't surprise me. I suppose you want to come in?"

She didn't wait for an answer but turned and walked away, leaving then to follow her into the house. Narcissa was a little shocked by the woman's cold attitude and hesitated for a moment before stepping over the threshold. **Can that be his mother?!**

One of the first things that caught her eye was a painting on the stairs of a tall, attractive man who, from his looks, was clearly Severus' father. There was a definite family resemblance but this man was stockier and more muscular and even in the painting Narcissa just couldn't bring herself to feel as though he could have liked him.

They followed Severus' mother into a sitting room and Narcissa sat down, but Severus carried on walking through the room and went out of another door. The woman said nothing.

Narcissa held out a hand, "Narcissa Malfoy, I'm your son's fiancée."

"Yes, I read the papers," the woman replied, without shaking her hand.

Narcissa tried again, "We're getting married soon, I'm pregnant, I felt we should come and tell you."

"Why?" the woman asked disinterestedly.

**'Why'?! What kind of a mother asks why to being told her son's fiancée felt she might like to know she was going to be a grandmother?!**

"You're going to be a grandmother, I thought you'd like to know."

She shrugged and silence reigned for a minute or so as Narcissa tried in vain to understand the woman in front of her.

"If he's got his father in him I wouldn't leave him alone with a child, not if you love it," the woman spoke up in an almost bored fashion. "Personally I was never that bothered."

"What do you mean?" Narcissa asked, puzzled. "And why wouldn't you be that bothered?"

"I didn't love him." The woman spoke as though she couldn't see why Narcissa might think otherwise, "Severus was an inconvenience from the day he was born, a fact of life, something I learned to live with."

Narcissa was too busy being appalled to take advantage of the following pause, then the woman spoke again. "Everyone turns into their father eventually. It might be interesting to see how Severus handles a child because his father certainly didn't show him a good example and you can't get away from who you are. He's always so willing to play the victim," she sneered, "Never fighting back, but now he has a child of his own you'll find it's all the same. Then again I always saw it this way, if he's taking it out on the child he's not taking it out on you."

Narcissa sat absolutely still for a moment, trying to process what on earth she had just been told. **What does she mean? Was Severus' father violent?** Her confused thoughts kept lighting on one phrase: **"If he's taking it out on the child he's not taking it out on you." What a terrible thing to say, I cannot believe that any mother could act so callously!** Narcissa clenched her hands into fists and decided that the meeting was over.

"I don't know what to say to you, I really don't," she said, her tone quiet and still half disbelieving, "But I will tell you this, Severus is a good man and you are beyond belief! Maybe nothing I say can hurt you or get through to you on any level, I doubt that it can your heart if you have one seems made of stone, but I hope you rot in this horrible house."

Narcissa rose smoothly to her feet and left the room, heading through the same door Severus had. **Why did I bring him here?**

She found him in a small library, he was curled up in a chair with a book which looked to be on the Dark Arts. She was struck by how vulnerable he looked. She had rarely seen him looking anything other than entirely self-possessed and self-confident but now, curled in a foetal position in the large, high-backed chair, he seemed younger and almost insecure.

He glanced up as she entered and saw from the look in her eyes that she now understood why he had not wanted to see his mother or return to his childhood home.

She looked questioningly at him and at the room around them, it seemed no more inviting to her than any other room in the house.

"I used to hide in here, it was the only room I felt safe in," he answered her unspoken question and placed the book back on the shelves.

She walked across to him and took his hand, the idea of Severus as a child having to hide from his parents in order to feel safe was one which cut into her like a knife. "I wish you felt you could have told me," she said quietly.

"If I'd felt I couldn't tell you I wouldn't have brought you here. There's just nothing to say."

She looked into his eyes and squeezed his hand gently between her own, "Are you ready to go?"

He nodded and led her out of the room and into the entrance hall where she paused momentarily. "Is it awful to be back here?" she asked, feeling guilty that it was her who had brought him back to the house in the first place.

"I don't feel anything at all."

And it was clear, looking at his expression, that he didn't.

*******

Late that night Severus was awakened by the sound of quiet sobs coming from the room. He turned over and realised it was Narcissa, wide-awake and in tears.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"What do you think? How could that woman be so blasé about everything? How could they treat you like that?"

He drew the woman gently into his arms and stroked her hair to soothe her, "Narcissa, it doesn't matter, it's all in the past. I never knew it was anything out of the ordinary for a child to be treated like that, I thought that was a normal childhood before I went to Hogwarts."

This last comment just caused her to cry harder and slip her thin arms tightly around him. "No one is ever going to hurt you again," she whispered fiercely between sobs.

He smiled and held her close, kissing the top of her head, "Go to sleep Narcissa and try not to let it bother you, it really doesn't bother me any more."

Eventually her sobs subsided to random sniffs and she fell asleep, still holding him as though she would never let go and Severus had to admit he rather hoped she wouldn't.

*******

Next chapter preparations begin in earnest and the happy couple begin to worry about wedding presents.

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