On Your Mark
By Arlo
Chapter 5- Full Heart
The next few days passed with a flurry of owls. Everyone had his or her opinion on the minister's 'apology, most considering it inane and inadequate.
Remus met with Harry at Mrs. Figg's house a few days after the full moon. The squib neighbor's home had become the unofficial Little Whinging headquarters for the Order. She and her cats had been watching over Harry for years without his real knowledge. He had only considered her an occasional babysitter.
Lupin's take on the offer was a bit different from Arthur Weasley's. Both he and Kingsley Shacklebolt were extremely angry with the Ministry. Not only had Fudge refused to acknowledge the possibility that Sirius Black was innocent, Kingsley had been suspended from his auror duties for aiding the fugitive. Remus also could not believe that no mention of Fudge's ex-undersecretary, Dolores Umbridge was ever made in the press reports.
Umbridge had been the guilty party the Minister had referred to in his letter, but there was no word whatsoever on how she had been disciplined. Despite her stint as Hogwart's "High Inquisitor" the Ministry and the press had conveniently forgotten about her. Parents of Hogwarts students were not so easy to trick however, and apparently letters of protest of her tenure were being sent to the Headmaster in droves. The Ministry had suddenly decided that all matters concerning the school were now the Headmaster's responsibility. This was a complete turnabout from last year when Fudge had done everything in his power- legal or not- to discredit Dumbledore and Harry.
It was for this reason that Harry was intrigued by Lupin's opinion of Fudge's letter. The werewolf suggested that it might be the right time to use public sympathy to their advantage. "Take the high road, but play up the part of the wronged schoolboy, the young man who risked everything to save his innocent Godfather, and the hero who has defied the Dark Lord five times.," Lupin had written him. "Prove you're better than Fudge. Show them the real Harry James Potter!" In person, however, Remus was a little less enthusiastic. "I think I may have spent a little too much time listening to your Godfather singing your praises." Lupin said with a faint smile. "Seriously, though," he paused and smiled a little wider at the pun, his eyes bright, "I think you should avoid any official contact with the ministry. Maybe do something a little more …befitting your style," He continued with a wink.
The rest of his body betrayed his real mood, however. The werewolf looked extremely tired and haggard and Harry expressed his concern. "How are you holding up?" he asked cautiously.
"It was a bad month," Remus admitted "but the worst is over." Harry didn't know if he was referring to his transformation or his grief.
One look in his ex-professors eyes told the young wizard all he needed to know. Remus had suddenly become solemn and quiet, a mood Harry knew quite well. Their grief was still strong and Harry suddenly felt he needed to talk about Sirius.
"Professor?"
"Call me Remus please, Harry."
"Remus," Harry took a deep breath trying to keep composed. "What really happened to Sirius? What was that veil thing? Why is there no body? I don't really understand."
"No, no I didn't think you did. You're not exactly well versed on the wizarding world are you?" Harry sadly shook his head, while Remus tried to focus his thoughts. "The Department of Mysteries studies all kinds of things, but mostly the mysteries of human-kind. The powers of the mind, of the heart and the soul. Things you can't quantify or categorize, like time and space; life and death. The room… the room we were in is called the Death Room. The veil is known to be a gateway to the.. netherworld, if you will. No one really knows where it leads, except that the souls of the dead pass through it."
"Why is it there? Isn't that dangerous?" Harry cut in.
"It's suppose to be well secured, Harry, but obviously if six students, a bunch of Death Eaters and a few Order members, including an escaped convict, were able to get in, they are going to have to revise their security spells! To answer your other question, it is there to both keep it safe and to study it. There are most likely similar portals elsewhere, but imagine what would happen if a doorway to death was destroyed. Actually, you probably can't even begin to imagine. The possibilities are endless and profound. But that's a philosophical discussion for another time."
"I saw the veil moving. I heard whispering," Harry said quietly.
"Yes, I believe that every time a soul passes through, the veil sways a bit. As for the whispers, that's another story."
"Luna heard them, too!" Harry interrupted, hoping Remus didn't think him crazy.
"Yes, I'm not surprised. Her mother was an empath as well."
"Then why can I hear them?" Harry asked, even though Hermione had suggested in her reply to his lengthy letter that he might have the talent to feel other people's emotions, also.
"Harry," Remus sighed, "you really need to get in touch with your own self. Why do you care so much for other people?" Harry shrugged. "Because you feel empathy with them, you can tell what they are feeling and you project it onto yourself. It is going to get stronger as you get older, you should probably learn how to deal with it. Luna already has. She's been trained since she was a child. Your mother was also empathic, she had a rare gift called Empathic Focal Magic. EFM. Very few witches and wizards have that particular talent. Dumbledore is the only other one I know of. It could be why you did that bit of wandless magic the other day, you do have her eyes."
"Okay…" Harry hesitated, he wanted to know more but he still had unanswered questions about his Godfather. "Can we get back to Sirius?" Lupin nodded. "Bellatrix only stunned him! He wasn't dead when he fell through the veil, I know he wasn't!"
"No, no not just then. Once you enter the portal, you cannot return."
" So he might not be dead!"
Remus bit his lip and sighed deeply. " I know it is very difficult to understand, Harry. Death is a mystery after all. But unfortunately, there is no doubt that he is dead."
Tears filled Harry's eyes. He had hoped that it wasn't really true, that Sirius could come back somehow. Even his Godfather's best mate had no hope. "Where did his body go, if only souls go through the veil?" Harry asked softly.
"Excellent question. There haven't been many instances of people entering the portal body and soul. I've been doing a little research on it myself. Like you, I still had some hope. What I found was actually quite comforting, though." He looked to Harry to see if the boy wanted him to continue.
Harry nodded. "Go ahead, I could use a little comfort."
"The portal was moved to London well over a thousand years ago to keep it safe . At one point in the Middle Ages, it was moved to the arena you saw it in. The Ministry was actually built around it. Anyway, someone got the bright idea to use it for executions. After the first victim was pushed through the veil, a large tremor rocked the arena and the executioner was thrown through the veil as well. Needless to say, they didn't use it that way again! There have been several other people who have walked or fell through it. Those who do so intentionally, returned through the other side, dead. Those that fell accidentally did not. The theory is that fate controlled their death and that they were destined for some kind of special reward. Eternal grace or divine mercy are some of the things mentioned."
"So it was Sirius' fate?" Remus nodded. "And he's like an angel or something?" Harry queried.
The werewolf laughed, a large smile extended to his eyes. "Sirius Black an angel? What would his mother say?" Even Harry couldn't help but laugh at the thought. "Hell's Angel, maybe," Remus said still laughing.
The moment of levity was much needed. Both felt some relief from their overwhelming grief. The conversation continued in a similar vein, however. Lupin told Harry other things about his Godfather. The most distressing of which was Sirius' health. Azkaban, the constant animagus transformations and his fugitive status, had placed a lot of stress on him. Magical, or not, the human body has its limits and Sirius lived well beyond them for a long time. Madam Pomphrey, the Hogwarts matron, whom Harry trusted with his life (several times, in fact) had examined Sirius last summer. The results were not good. All his internal organs were failing due to the harsh conditions he had been forced to endure.
Sirius couldn't sleep well, didn't eat right and could no longer handle stress. His body and mind were already taxed to their limits. He refused to give in however, and was determined to go out fighting. Remus looked sadder at this revelation that at the discussion of his friend's death. "You see," he said almost in a whisper, "I couldn't stop him, not knowing that. After all he'd been through, I at least owed him that chance. He would have never forgiven me if anything had happened to you." Harry realized that Remus was feeling his own share of guilt over his mate's death.
"I still miss him, though," Harry said, tears flowing down his cheeks.
"I do too, Harry, I do too." Remus pulled Harry into a hug and held him for as long as Harry needed. When they finally composed themselves, they agreed that maybe Sirius was in a better place, and the conversation turned to other things.
"So, I hear that you have been having an interesting holiday so far," Remus said. Harry raised his eyebrows in question. "New family, letters from the Minister, interesting talents?" the werewolf pressed.
"Oh, yeah, I guess," the younger wizard stammered. "Never a dull moment! Not in my world anyway. I'd like to know what it's like to be a normal kid sometime! Too late now, though. But, yeah, okay, The Evans's seem really nice. I haven't really gotten to know them very well yet. My uncle is a little bothered by the fact that there are people in the neighborhood who might find out that they locked me in a cupboard half my life." Harry shrugged. "My aunt says it was to shock the magic out of me." He paused looking to Remus for input.
"Hmmm," was the only professorial response.
"Well," Harry said a little impatiently. "What does electricity have to do with magic?"
Lupin hesitated. "Well, there's a theory that they are both similar wavelengths of energy." The professor looked up at a very confused student. "That is to say, one affects the other. Magic in large quantities, Hogwarts for example, makes electrical appliances go haywire, for lack of a better word. But there is no proof that in small amounts the two cannot coexist. The large number of Muggle born wizards attests to that. It obviously didn't work in your case either, at least not in the long term. It may have decreased your abilities as a child, but that's not necessarily a bad thing."
"So, locking me in the cupboard with the fuse box decreased my magic?"
"Quite possibly," Lupin responded. But most wizard children don't exhibit a lot of magic anyway. In your case it's hard to say how powerful you could have been as a child, and whether there was any ill effect from the electricity. Most of your problems now result from lack of knowledge and self confidence."
Harry just nodded, thinking. "That's about what Hermione said. But she seemed to think that it did affect me a least a little. I'm always a bit off in the first term. But I'm not in the cupboard anymore," he added.
" Maybe your uncle put something in your room. It could be as simple as a plug-in air ionizer." Remus looked pensive. "I guess we never thought they would do something like that intentionally, although I wouldn't put it past them."
Harry just shook his head. "I'll check, but I only stay there a month, six weeks tops."
"Could be enough. I'll look into it further. I've always been curious myself. I spend a lot of time in the muggle world, or used to," Remus added. "They don't believe werewolves exist! Now what about this wandless magic Kingsley's been bragging about?"
Harry retold the story of the photographs, emphasizing that he actually felt more powerful at the time.
"You were angry, that always makes magic more concentrated," Remus said, "but you felt power? Probably EFM. The only one I've seen actually radiate power like that is Dumbledore. And maybe Voldemort," he added. "Fortunately I haven't had too many encounters with him!"
"Lucky you!" Harry replied sarcastically. "So I have to discuss this with Dumbledore?" Lupin nodded. "Great!" The young man didn't want to have to speak to his headmaster about anything at the moment.
" He just did what he thought best, Harry. He knows how Voldemort thinks, he was trying to protect you."
" Yeah, right!" Harry had heard it all before and still wasn't entirely convinced that the old man had his best interest at heart.
They sat in silence for a few moments while Harry collected his thoughts. Remus was perusing the letter from Fudge that Harry had brought with him. "I don't see how he can have the gall to send this!" the werewolf mused angrily. "Especially after what he did to you last year! And how can he say that the guilty party has been disciplined 'appropriately'? Officially, Umbridge is on leave of absence for health reasons! This is politics at its worst , Harry!"
"That's what Mr. Weasley said," Harry told him.
"Yes, I know I've discussed it with Arthur," Lupin said. "It seems the shopkeepers in Diagon Alley insisted on some kind of action. Business has dropped dramatically since the announcement of Voldemort's return. Fudge has assigned aurors there but people just aren't going out. They are hoping that if you go, it will show that it is safe."
"I do need to go shopping," Harry said "but I don't need to deal with the Ministry. Can't we do this some other way?"
"Of course. That's what I was getting at before. Do it your own way. We could arrange something to settle people's minds and to get their attention. Then we can push our own agenda and not Fudge's," Remus retorted.
"What exactly is our agenda?" The young wizard asked.
"Fudge is a bumbling idiot, Umbridge is an evil toad and Sirius Black was an innocent victim and hero."
Harry smiled and nodded. "I'm in!"
The two walked back to the Dursleys talking quietly about the best way to proceed. A car pulled up alongside them and Remus pushed Harry behind him, putting his hand in his pocket as he did.
"Er, hello Harry. Is everything all right?" Jake Evans called slightly nervously from the driver's seat.
"Ah, yeah. Yes. Hi Jake." Harry looked to Remus. "This is Jake Evans. Jake this is a friend of my parents', Remus Lupin."
"Oh I see. Nice to meet you. Harry is a fine young man," Jake said looking them over. "Are you sure you're okay, Harry?"
Harry nodded and smiled at the man. It was Remus who answered, though, "Yes, he's a great kid. I wouldn't want anything to happen to him. So you are Lily's distant cousin? Harry has told us about your family. You do look a bit like her, in fact."
" Yes, I've seen pictures. Harry, while I've got you here, Gloria has to cover for someone at work next week in the afternoons. We were hoping you could stay with Mark. He doesn't really need a babysitter, but we would feel better if he wasn't alone. It would be from about two o'clock to 5:30 or six. Do you think you could?"
Harry smiled widely. "I'd like to but…" he trailed off looking at Remus.
" I don't think Petunia would mind you getting out of her hair for a while," Lupin chuckled. "I'll check with the old man though, to be sure."
Jake looked from Remus to Harry, a little confused. Harry quickly answered. "I'd love to, Jake. I just need to check on a few things first. Shouldn't be a problem, though.
"Great, thanks. We really appreciate it. Mark has a habit of getting into things. We'll pay you, of course."
" No need. I'm sure we could work something out. A ride to the mall, maybe?" he asked hopefully.
" That sounds like a reasonable request! Gloria's always there anyway! It was nice to meet you, Mr. Lupin. I'm glad to see Harry has someone looking out for him."
"Why wouldn't Dumbledore let me go? Harry asked after the car pulled away. "I mean, the guards are always following me anyway. What's the difference?"
Remus just shook his head sadly, his hand resting on Harry's shoulder. "Safety first," he mumbled. He left his ex-student at the door to number four and said goodbye. Mrs. Figg had given them both enough sandwiches and cake to fill them for a while. Harry's stomach wasn't the only thing full, however. He knew that Sirius would always be in his heart, and after today, Remus would be too.
