The koi swam contentedly, oblivious and unaware of the event that was about to occur.
Then a flash of blinding light pierced through the serenity of the underwater scene, and where there had not been before floated the body of a human female, bobbing up and down with the waves that its sudden appearance had created.
And the fish were smart enough to know that this did not bode well.
-------------------------------------------------------------- P L O T S H O L E S by Aozora Azul --------------------------------------------------------------
[All pertinent disclaimers are at the end of the episode]
Episode One - "If it's a Mary Sue, I'm leaving! Psychadelic songs can be inspiring!"
Lorelei had read fanfiction before. This is why she was nervous.
The fact that the girl lying unconscious on the infirmary cot was human--rather than an all new, maiden circuit-equipped marionette that came from nowhere--did not ease her worries, because there was still the possibilty that the girl could have psychic powers, or be in charge of a kids-only starfleet, or something else equally terrifying.
While tending to the gardens, Lorelei had found the girl floating face-down in the koi pond at Castle Japoness, and had to shoo away the multicolored fish to keep from nibbling at the body. Much to her relief, the girl was still alive, so Lorelei took her to the castle's infirmary (with the assistance of Baiko, who had to carry the girl because she was too heavy to be carried by anyone else besides she or Tamasaburo.)
Now the girl had been resuscitated, dried off, and hooked up to countless monitors. It wasn't that anything was wrong with her--the only notable injury was a mild contusion on the back of the head--but Lorelei didn't want to take any chances. She was looking for a sign--a sign that the girl might be a--a--a--
"Okay! I'll say it! A Mary Sue!" Lorelei shuddered.
[Scene change! Whee!]
"All these feminine pronouns are confusing, nyo!" Dejiko moaned while working at Gamers in Akihabara. The last few paragraphs, with all of its 'shes' and 'hers', were worded rather awkwardly, in her opinion.
"That's why Puchiko refers to Puchiko as 'Puchiko,' nyu," Puchiko replied dryly.
"That's too repetitive, gema!" Gema argued.
"Quiet, nyo!" Dejiko said as she fired her eye-beam at the yellow blob. Gema promptly exploded.
"Pyo pyo pyo pyo pyo," Piyoko chuckled. "It is easiest for the evil to sneak in when the 'good guys' are fighting, pyo."
"Piyoko! What are you doing here, nyo?!" Dejiko demanded.
"Oh, I just wanted to give you a present, pyo," Piyoko smiled innocently.
"It's a trick, nyu," Puchiko warned.
But Dejiko was too flattered to listen. "Nyo? A present for Dejiko, nyo? What is it, nyo?"
"It's...THIS, PYO! MOUTH-BAZOOKA!" Piyoko's mouth, in a Jagger-esque facial contortion, stretched into a square shape and fired an enormous energy blast in Dejiko's direction. Dejiko was able to dodge easily, but as a result part of the store was obliterated.
"NYO! Look what you're doing to the store, nyo! But I won't let you hurt it any more, nyo! Dejiko's gonna protect this store, nyo!" Dejiko pumped her fists like a boxer before a match. Then her eyes turned into yellow stars as she prepared to fire her eye-beam.
"They never learn, nyu," said Puchiko, who was watching from a safe distance away and kawaiily sipping green tea.
"What's going--oh, crap," Usada muttered, her rabbit ears seeming to droop in defeat. She had been getting some model kits out of the back room to restock the shelves and had no hint that the cat-girl and the panda-girl were at it again, minus the jolt she felt when said panda-girl's mouth-bazooka made impact.
"Good thing I have that insurance," the simplistically-drawn Manager said, a sweatdrop hanging from his brow.
"What insurance?" asked Usada. She could have sworn she heard a duck quacking.
"You know," said the Manager. "That insurance for your business when Dejiko-chan accidentally demolishes it."
"Okay...but what insurance is that?" Usada asked again. Again she thought she heard the quacking of a duck.
"Enough of the product placement, nyu," murmured Puchiko. "The readers are getting bored, nyu." She then went off to get more tea, as she had finished her current cup.
Meanwhile, a shadowy figure lurked behind the shelves, watching all that was taking place in the store. An evil smirk crossed its face. Yes, it said to itself. They will do nicely. But I must make more observation first. Then the shadowy figure vanished. And while that ominous interlude still lingers on our minds...
[Ohoho! Scene change!]
"Hey, Grandpa Gennai! Whatcha doin'?" Lime asked, a curious smile on her face.
Gennai looked up from his work to look at the energetic girl with long blue hair and deep green eyes. The old man was apparently working on some kind of machine, and a big one at that. It looked like it could be some sort of transportation vehicle. Most notable about the vehicle, however, was its vivid yellow color. "I'm working on my new invention, Lime-chan. I'm not nearly done with it yet, though."
"Oh...so, what is your invention?" Lime looked at the very large, very yellow structure behind Gennai and nearly thought she heard a man singing.
Gennai stroked his long beard thoughtfully. "That, Lime-chan, is a secret...for now. But it involves the sea, and when I'm done with it, we'll all go to the sea and try it out."
Lime's smile widened with anticipation. "The sea! The sea! I wanna go to the sea!"
"Okay, but I'll have to finish this first," Gennai gave Lime a smile.
"Okay! See ya later, Grandpa Gennai!" Lime then skipped off, her shoes making their trademark sqeaking sound. "The sea, the sea..."
"Bye, Lime-chan!" Gennai smiled again and returned to work. I can't wait to get this done, Gennai thought to himself. Riding in this will be so much fun.
Meanwhile, back at Castle Japoness...
Lorelei noticed that the girl she had discovered in the koi pond was stirring. Please let her be normal, please let her be normal, Lorelei prayed to invisible gods.
Awakening with a start, the girl opened her eyes and regarded the auburn-haired scientist standing by the cot in which she lay. "Hunh...where am I...who are you?"
"I'm Dr. Lorelei. I'm the one who found you floating in Castle Japoness's koi pond and saved you from drowning. Right now you're in the infirmary." Disorientation--that's a good sign, Lorelei told herself. "By the way, you're not named after the author, are you?"
Saber Marionette J belongs to Akahori Satoru, Kotobuki Tsukasa, Bandai, and many others. I'm only doing this for fun and not for profit, because I don't want to be on the receiving end of a lawsuit.
DiGi Charat belongs to Koge Donbo, Broccoli, and plenty others. I'm getting no money from this, so you'll be getting no money from me! By suing, I mean.
[Scene: Otaru's apartment. Lime, Cherry and Bloodberry are sitting around the table, hard at work. On the table are various drawing utensils and paper. Scattered around the apartment are numerous manga volumes opened to random pages. Lime looks up to greet the camera.]
Lime: Hey everyone! Cherry and Bloodberry and I are making a shoujo manga together!
Bloodberry: Since there's no shoujo manga on Terra II yet, we decided we'd make the planet's first comic aimed for the female audience.
Cherry (holding a Fruits Basket Manga): Hopefully we will be able to put a lot of romance into the story and draw beautiful artwork into every frame! I am looking at this shoujo manga from Earth and am getting very inspired by it.
Lime: It's gonna be a magical girl story!
Cherry and Bloodberry: WHAT!?
Lime: Yeah! And each of us has control over an element! Since I was surrounded by light when I awoke, I have control over fire! And since Cherry was sleeping in the bathroom, she has control over water! And since Bloodberry came from a statue, she has control over earth!
Bloodberry: ...
Cherry: Now wait just a minute, Lime...
[As the girls start to bicker, the camera pans over to Otaru, who is watching the girls with a smile on his face.]
Otaru: Well, somebody's got to start the shoujo genre on Terra II. Who better than them?
Hanagata: Otaru-kuuuuun!
Otaru: Ack! Hanagata! Where'd you come from?
Hanagata: You know, Otaru-kun, a lot of these shoujo manga feature relationships between two males...
Otaru: Ugh! No thanks, Hanagata!
[Suddenly, the three girls glare at Hanagata.]
Hanagata: N-now d-don't look at me like that...ladies?
[Cut to shot of the roof of Otaru's apartment, where Hanagata comes flying out and into the distance.]
Hanagata: Hanagata Mitsurugi, with the power of fliiiiiiight...*sparkle*
Hey all! Emily here. Apparently I fell through some sort of hole and ended up on this weird planet. What? You know how I can get home? I have to do what to get there? This reminds me of a Beatles song. Join me on the next episode of PLOTS Holes: "To the green sea! In the town where I was born." Please look forward to it. ^_^
