The cameraman sees no one on stage, so he zooms in on Crystal who is banging on a door with a gold chair on it with the word 'AMY' written in black over it. Amy's voice can be heard through the door.

Amy: I never should have joined in on this business . . .

Crystal: Don't say that!

Crystal tries the door, but finds it locked. Suspecting the worst, starts worry.

Amy: But it's all my fault. I'm just too ice happy and because of me, two lives are in grave danger! Crystal: It'll be ok. They will come back.

Amy: But you don't understand. It was five minutes ago. . . .

Five minutes ago . . .

Sage: Hello everyone and we're back.

Duo: How ya doing?

Sage: Well, I guess we should get on with it. Since there's no new news, gee is that a mouthful, except that Amy is scared of us!

Amy: I heard that!

Sage: But you never come down from there! I'm surprised your not a vampire or something.

Amy jumps on stage.

Amy: Don't mess with me!

Duo: Wow, and here she is, Amy Marne! Give her a hand!

Audience cheers. Amy blushes.

Sage: You're not s. . . .

Amy: Not so what?

Duo: Hello, earth to Sage! Ice Powers? Reality check!

Loud scream.

Sage: Shh. I heard someone scream!

Amy: We all heard it.

Suddenly, a giant grey monster thingy blasts through the ceiling. Audience cheers, thinking this is part of the show. Sage powers up and Duo gets his Gundam.

Monster Thingy: Roar!!!!

Sage and Deathscythe thrown around like dolls.

Sage: Ok. Playtime's over. Duo: Stay there and let us take care of this.

Duo and Sage charge the monster thingy.

Amy: NO! LOOK OUT!

Back to the present . . .

Crystal: And then what happened?

Amy: They both instantly fell into this portal thing and then the monster thingy followed them and the portal closed.

Crystal: That's not so bad! How is that your fault?

Amy opens the door a crack, then steps outside.

Amy: I guess you're right. But I don't think it was a monster at all.

Crystal: What?

Amy: It had a weird symbol on its arm. It was a weird geometrical shape with a funky H and a strange M inside.

Crystal: My poor babies . . . er . . . what's that?

Amy: I dunno . . . But I don't think we should do an award right now.

Crystal: Let's go to a commercial . . .

COMMERCIAL

Crystal: Hiya. We're still on patrol to find our kidnaped guys.

Amy: YOUR kidnaped guys.

Crystal: Whatever. The only clue we have is this symbol.

Both go deep in thought.

Crystal: I got it!

Amy: Who is it?

Crystal: Hey Rowen, can you help us?
Rowen jogs on stage with Amy shaking her head in shame.

Amy: Nice one.

Rowen: I see . . .

Rowen looks at symbol and thinks.

Rowen: Hmmm . . . I think I have it. Armor of Strata, Tao Inochi! An eye for an eye, I always say.

Monster Thingy That's Not Really A Monster: Roar!!!!!!

Rowen: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Rowen is sucked into a portal. Monster thingy that's not really a monster jumps in after him and disappears. Amy goes slightly mad.

Amy: Now it's personal! DIE!! LET ME AT IT! LET ME AT IT!!

Crystal raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms.

Crystal: And it wasn't before?

Amy: Not really.

Crystal: I'll kill you for that later. Right now, we need help. HEY GOKU, TRUNKS! CAN YOU GIVE US A HAND AND GET UP HERE?

Goku and Trunks trot on stage from their seats.

Goku: Yeah? What's up?

Trunks: Hey.

A man stands up and yells angrily.

Vegeta: Why not me? I'm of Royal Blood and I am ten times better than Kakorrot!

Crystal: I don't trust you.

Vegeta: Ah, but you picked my son. My blood runs through his veins!

Crystal: Yeah . . . but he also has Bulma's brains. Besides, he's soooooooooo cute! Trunks: Oh boy . . .

Amy: Let's go! I need to teach that monster thingy that's not really a monster anymore a lesson for taking my boyfriend!

Crystal: What about mine?

Amy: Who cares. Mine's better.

Crystal: Yeah right!

Cat fight erupts. Goku breaks it up.

Goku: Settle down. Now what can I do to help?

Crystal: We need the help of your Instant Transmition. Concentrate on Sage.

Amy: Rowen!

Crystal: Sage!

Amy: Rowen!

Trunks senses another argument.

Trunks: How about Duo?

Amy and Crystal: FINE!

Goku: Hold on tight.

Goku grabs Amy's hand, who grabs Crystal's, who grabs Trunks' hand, against his will, of course.

Goku: Here we are.

Crystal: Oh boy . . .

COMMERCIAL

Crystal: Geez, we've been traveling forever!

Trunks: Actually, we've only been traveling for a few seconds.

Goku: I see a light ahead! Amy: We're here!

Goku and Trunks: Where's here?

Amy and Crystal: A mall!

A light fills the area to reveal the world's largest mall.

Goku: A what?

Trunks: Huh?

Amy: I don't get it.

Crystal: It figures. Now it all makes sense!

Amy: Of course! Now, where would they most likely be?

Trunks: They?

Crystal: H and M stand for Mia and Hirde.

Amy: Right, and they have no sense of fashion, so the least likely place they would think for us to look for them would be . . .

Amy and Crystal: Abracombie and Fitch!

Goku: You lost me back at the mall part.

Trunks: I think I hear something!

Goku: I do too!

Amy: It's the guys!

Crystal: Let's go!

Amy: Into the underworld of clothing stores!

They run into A & F to see Rowen in the distance in a skirt.

Amy: NO! That's it!

Crystal: They vanished!

Trunks: I still sense them! They're still here. . . . somewhere. . . .

COMMERCIAL

Some Guy: Now back to the Anime Awards! Now, here's your hosts . . . Hey? Where are they? Ummm, now put your hands together for the Backstreet Boys!

Back in the mall in the alternate universe . . .

Crystal: Well?

Amy: Where's my Rowey-Pooh?

Crystal: Rowey-Pooh?

Amy: Did I just say that out loud?

Crystal bursts out laughing as everyone nods their heads. Amy gives Crystal the 'look'.

Amy: Dare you laugh? I have some dirt on you!

Crystal stops laughing.

Crystal: Huh?

Amy begins to talk in a high pitched voice.

Amy: Oh, Sagey-Wagey . . .

Crystal's anger is rising. She lunges at Amy. Trunks and Goku ignore the fight.

Trunks: Try again, Goku.

Goku: Argh! I can't sense their power levels. But that's impossible, they have to be in this mall!

Trunks: I know I sensed them for a moment. But then I lost the trace. . . . . I got it, Goku. If there was a large electric disturbance, do you think that could affect the traceability of their power levels?

Goku: I guess.

Goku gets that confused look.

Goku: So, what does that mean?

Trunks: It means that wherever these guys are, is where there are a lot of electronic devices.

Goku: OH!

Goku get's the girls attention. They stop fighting.

Goku: We have an idea of where they are!

Crystal: Really?

Amy: Where?

Trunks: Somewhere where there are a lot of electronic devices.

Crystal whips out a mall of the mall. It opens up to cover the entire walkway.

Crystal: I wonder . . .

Amy: There!

Amy walks over and points at store Z49. It's next to boiler room BR15.

Amy: They're probably in the boiler room under this store. That would explain the disturbance!

All: Let's Go!

They run down the entire length of the mall 26 times, because there's only one flight of stairs to a side per floor. They run down an additional five flights of stairs and burst into a room outside BR15.

Trunks: Whoever designed this mall was insane!

Goku: Are all malls like this?

Suddenly, screams are heard from behind the door.

Duo: NO!!! NOT THAT!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!!

Sage: Please put that down . . . Come on! Stop!

Rowen: NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A DUMB BLOND!

Mia: Shut up and hold still, you two. I'll be done in a few moments!

Evil laughter escapes the two girls' mouths.

Hirde: Come on Duo, I only want a souvenir!
Scissors snap meticulously.

Crystal: Time to transform!

Amy: Right!

Crystal: Director 1 Crystal Power!

Amy: Director 2 Crystal Power!

Trunks and Goku: What the?

Amy transforms into Sailor Director 2, in a sailor suit with blue accents. Crystal transforms into Sailor Director 1, in a sailor suit with purple accents.

Crystal: We'll yell if we need help.

Goku: Right.

Sage, Duo, Rowen: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mia and Hirde laugh evilly, until they are started by voices.

Mia and Hirde: Huh?

Crystal: Stop right there, girls! We're the directors!

Amy: And the show must go on, you fashion rejects!

Crystal: So, in the name of the show . . .

Crystal and Amy: We shall punish you!

Mia: Yeah right! Computer Microwaves!

Black C's fly through the air.

Crystal: Ah!

Amy: Watch it!

Hirde: Evil Girl Syndrome!

Waves of black energy fly through the air.

Crystal: Ah!

Amy: Watch it!

Mia: Now to . . . what?

Hirde: Huh?

Two explosions cause Mia and Hirde to back off. They look up to see two men with gold hair and green eyes.

SSJ2 Trunks: Hold it right there, Hirde and Mia. These Directors are important to the success of the show!

SSJ2 Goku: Right! And so are the hosts. Now, Sailor Director 2!

Amy pulls out a gold megaphone. Imitating Rini . . .

Amy: Please help our show. Director Yelling Megaphone!

Heero appears in the sky and lends Sailor Director 1 his gun. Pegasus music begins to play.

Crystal: Director Firing Shot!

Energy slams into Mia and Hirde.

Mia and Hirde: We don't want to die!

Mia and Hirde break into tiny pieces. Crystal and Amy return to their regular states. Trunks and Goku return to normal and teleport away.

Heero: Hi Duo.

Duo is dressed in a black cocktail dress with loads of makeup on his face.

Duo: Oh Heero, help me out of here! Please, get me down!

Heero pulls out a camera, snaps a picture and puts the camera away.

Heero: Ok.

Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Sage: Hey, Crystal. Get me down, please?
Sage is in a green cheerleading outfit. His hair is pulled into pigtails and he is wearing a ton of make-up.

Rowen: C'mon Amy! Pu-lease get me down?

Rowen is in a blue mini skirt and tube top. He has a ton of jewelry and make-up on. At his feet is a puddle of blonde dye. Amy looks at Crystal evilly.

Amy: One . . .

Amy whips out a camera.

Crystal: Two . . .

Crystal whips out a camera.

Amy and Crystal: Three!

They snap pictures. Sage is staring blankly ahead and Rowen is in a frenzy.

Sage: You're cruel.

Crystal: I know.

Rowen: NO! NO! NOT FAIR! DESTROY THE PRINTS! DESTROY THE NEGATIVES! I'LL HURT YOU AND KILL YOU TEN TIMES OVER, AMY MARNE! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!!

Amy: Oh, brother. Time to go home.

Amy snaps her fingers and everyone returns to the stage in their original condition.

COMMERCIAL