The cameraman sees no one on stage, so he zooms in on Crystal who is
banging on a door with a gold chair on it with the word 'AMY' written in
black over it. Amy's voice can be heard through the door.
Amy: I never should have joined in on this business . . .
Crystal: Don't say that!
Crystal tries the door, but finds it locked. Suspecting the worst, starts worry.
Amy: But it's all my fault. I'm just too ice happy and because of me, two lives are in grave danger! Crystal: It'll be ok. They will come back.
Amy: But you don't understand. It was five minutes ago. . . .
Five minutes ago . . .
Sage: Hello everyone and we're back.
Duo: How ya doing?
Sage: Well, I guess we should get on with it. Since there's no new news, gee is that a mouthful, except that Amy is scared of us!
Amy: I heard that!
Sage: But you never come down from there! I'm surprised your not a vampire or something.
Amy jumps on stage.
Amy: Don't mess with me!
Duo: Wow, and here she is, Amy Marne! Give her a hand!
Audience cheers. Amy blushes.
Sage: You're not s. . . .
Amy: Not so what?
Duo: Hello, earth to Sage! Ice Powers? Reality check!
Loud scream.
Sage: Shh. I heard someone scream!
Amy: We all heard it.
Suddenly, a giant grey monster thingy blasts through the ceiling. Audience cheers, thinking this is part of the show. Sage powers up and Duo gets his Gundam.
Monster Thingy: Roar!!!!
Sage and Deathscythe thrown around like dolls.
Sage: Ok. Playtime's over. Duo: Stay there and let us take care of this.
Duo and Sage charge the monster thingy.
Amy: NO! LOOK OUT!
Back to the present . . .
Crystal: And then what happened?
Amy: They both instantly fell into this portal thing and then the monster thingy followed them and the portal closed.
Crystal: That's not so bad! How is that your fault?
Amy opens the door a crack, then steps outside.
Amy: I guess you're right. But I don't think it was a monster at all.
Crystal: What?
Amy: It had a weird symbol on its arm. It was a weird geometrical shape with a funky H and a strange M inside.
Crystal: My poor babies . . . er . . . what's that?
Amy: I dunno . . . But I don't think we should do an award right now.
Crystal: Let's go to a commercial . . .
COMMERCIAL
Crystal: Hiya. We're still on patrol to find our kidnaped guys.
Amy: YOUR kidnaped guys.
Crystal: Whatever. The only clue we have is this symbol.
Both go deep in thought.
Crystal: I got it!
Amy: Who is it?
Crystal: Hey Rowen, can you help us?
Rowen jogs on stage with Amy shaking her head in shame.
Amy: Nice one.
Rowen: I see . . .
Rowen looks at symbol and thinks.
Rowen: Hmmm . . . I think I have it. Armor of Strata, Tao Inochi! An eye for an eye, I always say.
Monster Thingy That's Not Really A Monster: Roar!!!!!!
Rowen: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Rowen is sucked into a portal. Monster thingy that's not really a monster jumps in after him and disappears. Amy goes slightly mad.
Amy: Now it's personal! DIE!! LET ME AT IT! LET ME AT IT!!
Crystal raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms.
Crystal: And it wasn't before?
Amy: Not really.
Crystal: I'll kill you for that later. Right now, we need help. HEY GOKU, TRUNKS! CAN YOU GIVE US A HAND AND GET UP HERE?
Goku and Trunks trot on stage from their seats.
Goku: Yeah? What's up?
Trunks: Hey.
A man stands up and yells angrily.
Vegeta: Why not me? I'm of Royal Blood and I am ten times better than Kakorrot!
Crystal: I don't trust you.
Vegeta: Ah, but you picked my son. My blood runs through his veins!
Crystal: Yeah . . . but he also has Bulma's brains. Besides, he's soooooooooo cute! Trunks: Oh boy . . .
Amy: Let's go! I need to teach that monster thingy that's not really a monster anymore a lesson for taking my boyfriend!
Crystal: What about mine?
Amy: Who cares. Mine's better.
Crystal: Yeah right!
Cat fight erupts. Goku breaks it up.
Goku: Settle down. Now what can I do to help?
Crystal: We need the help of your Instant Transmition. Concentrate on Sage.
Amy: Rowen!
Crystal: Sage!
Amy: Rowen!
Trunks senses another argument.
Trunks: How about Duo?
Amy and Crystal: FINE!
Goku: Hold on tight.
Goku grabs Amy's hand, who grabs Crystal's, who grabs Trunks' hand, against his will, of course.
Goku: Here we are.
Crystal: Oh boy . . .
COMMERCIAL
Crystal: Geez, we've been traveling forever!
Trunks: Actually, we've only been traveling for a few seconds.
Goku: I see a light ahead! Amy: We're here!
Goku and Trunks: Where's here?
Amy and Crystal: A mall!
A light fills the area to reveal the world's largest mall.
Goku: A what?
Trunks: Huh?
Amy: I don't get it.
Crystal: It figures. Now it all makes sense!
Amy: Of course! Now, where would they most likely be?
Trunks: They?
Crystal: H and M stand for Mia and Hirde.
Amy: Right, and they have no sense of fashion, so the least likely place they would think for us to look for them would be . . .
Amy and Crystal: Abracombie and Fitch!
Goku: You lost me back at the mall part.
Trunks: I think I hear something!
Goku: I do too!
Amy: It's the guys!
Crystal: Let's go!
Amy: Into the underworld of clothing stores!
They run into A & F to see Rowen in the distance in a skirt.
Amy: NO! That's it!
Crystal: They vanished!
Trunks: I still sense them! They're still here. . . . somewhere. . . .
COMMERCIAL
Some Guy: Now back to the Anime Awards! Now, here's your hosts . . . Hey? Where are they? Ummm, now put your hands together for the Backstreet Boys!
Back in the mall in the alternate universe . . .
Crystal: Well?
Amy: Where's my Rowey-Pooh?
Crystal: Rowey-Pooh?
Amy: Did I just say that out loud?
Crystal bursts out laughing as everyone nods their heads. Amy gives Crystal the 'look'.
Amy: Dare you laugh? I have some dirt on you!
Crystal stops laughing.
Crystal: Huh?
Amy begins to talk in a high pitched voice.
Amy: Oh, Sagey-Wagey . . .
Crystal's anger is rising. She lunges at Amy. Trunks and Goku ignore the fight.
Trunks: Try again, Goku.
Goku: Argh! I can't sense their power levels. But that's impossible, they have to be in this mall!
Trunks: I know I sensed them for a moment. But then I lost the trace. . . . . I got it, Goku. If there was a large electric disturbance, do you think that could affect the traceability of their power levels?
Goku: I guess.
Goku gets that confused look.
Goku: So, what does that mean?
Trunks: It means that wherever these guys are, is where there are a lot of electronic devices.
Goku: OH!
Goku get's the girls attention. They stop fighting.
Goku: We have an idea of where they are!
Crystal: Really?
Amy: Where?
Trunks: Somewhere where there are a lot of electronic devices.
Crystal whips out a mall of the mall. It opens up to cover the entire walkway.
Crystal: I wonder . . .
Amy: There!
Amy walks over and points at store Z49. It's next to boiler room BR15.
Amy: They're probably in the boiler room under this store. That would explain the disturbance!
All: Let's Go!
They run down the entire length of the mall 26 times, because there's only one flight of stairs to a side per floor. They run down an additional five flights of stairs and burst into a room outside BR15.
Trunks: Whoever designed this mall was insane!
Goku: Are all malls like this?
Suddenly, screams are heard from behind the door.
Duo: NO!!! NOT THAT!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!!
Sage: Please put that down . . . Come on! Stop!
Rowen: NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A DUMB BLOND!
Mia: Shut up and hold still, you two. I'll be done in a few moments!
Evil laughter escapes the two girls' mouths.
Hirde: Come on Duo, I only want a souvenir!
Scissors snap meticulously.
Crystal: Time to transform!
Amy: Right!
Crystal: Director 1 Crystal Power!
Amy: Director 2 Crystal Power!
Trunks and Goku: What the?
Amy transforms into Sailor Director 2, in a sailor suit with blue accents. Crystal transforms into Sailor Director 1, in a sailor suit with purple accents.
Crystal: We'll yell if we need help.
Goku: Right.
Sage, Duo, Rowen: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mia and Hirde laugh evilly, until they are started by voices.
Mia and Hirde: Huh?
Crystal: Stop right there, girls! We're the directors!
Amy: And the show must go on, you fashion rejects!
Crystal: So, in the name of the show . . .
Crystal and Amy: We shall punish you!
Mia: Yeah right! Computer Microwaves!
Black C's fly through the air.
Crystal: Ah!
Amy: Watch it!
Hirde: Evil Girl Syndrome!
Waves of black energy fly through the air.
Crystal: Ah!
Amy: Watch it!
Mia: Now to . . . what?
Hirde: Huh?
Two explosions cause Mia and Hirde to back off. They look up to see two men with gold hair and green eyes.
SSJ2 Trunks: Hold it right there, Hirde and Mia. These Directors are important to the success of the show!
SSJ2 Goku: Right! And so are the hosts. Now, Sailor Director 2!
Amy pulls out a gold megaphone. Imitating Rini . . .
Amy: Please help our show. Director Yelling Megaphone!
Heero appears in the sky and lends Sailor Director 1 his gun. Pegasus music begins to play.
Crystal: Director Firing Shot!
Energy slams into Mia and Hirde.
Mia and Hirde: We don't want to die!
Mia and Hirde break into tiny pieces. Crystal and Amy return to their regular states. Trunks and Goku return to normal and teleport away.
Heero: Hi Duo.
Duo is dressed in a black cocktail dress with loads of makeup on his face.
Duo: Oh Heero, help me out of here! Please, get me down!
Heero pulls out a camera, snaps a picture and puts the camera away.
Heero: Ok.
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Sage: Hey, Crystal. Get me down, please?
Sage is in a green cheerleading outfit. His hair is pulled into pigtails and he is wearing a ton of make-up.
Rowen: C'mon Amy! Pu-lease get me down?
Rowen is in a blue mini skirt and tube top. He has a ton of jewelry and make-up on. At his feet is a puddle of blonde dye. Amy looks at Crystal evilly.
Amy: One . . .
Amy whips out a camera.
Crystal: Two . . .
Crystal whips out a camera.
Amy and Crystal: Three!
They snap pictures. Sage is staring blankly ahead and Rowen is in a frenzy.
Sage: You're cruel.
Crystal: I know.
Rowen: NO! NO! NOT FAIR! DESTROY THE PRINTS! DESTROY THE NEGATIVES! I'LL HURT YOU AND KILL YOU TEN TIMES OVER, AMY MARNE! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!!
Amy: Oh, brother. Time to go home.
Amy snaps her fingers and everyone returns to the stage in their original condition.
COMMERCIAL
Amy: I never should have joined in on this business . . .
Crystal: Don't say that!
Crystal tries the door, but finds it locked. Suspecting the worst, starts worry.
Amy: But it's all my fault. I'm just too ice happy and because of me, two lives are in grave danger! Crystal: It'll be ok. They will come back.
Amy: But you don't understand. It was five minutes ago. . . .
Five minutes ago . . .
Sage: Hello everyone and we're back.
Duo: How ya doing?
Sage: Well, I guess we should get on with it. Since there's no new news, gee is that a mouthful, except that Amy is scared of us!
Amy: I heard that!
Sage: But you never come down from there! I'm surprised your not a vampire or something.
Amy jumps on stage.
Amy: Don't mess with me!
Duo: Wow, and here she is, Amy Marne! Give her a hand!
Audience cheers. Amy blushes.
Sage: You're not s. . . .
Amy: Not so what?
Duo: Hello, earth to Sage! Ice Powers? Reality check!
Loud scream.
Sage: Shh. I heard someone scream!
Amy: We all heard it.
Suddenly, a giant grey monster thingy blasts through the ceiling. Audience cheers, thinking this is part of the show. Sage powers up and Duo gets his Gundam.
Monster Thingy: Roar!!!!
Sage and Deathscythe thrown around like dolls.
Sage: Ok. Playtime's over. Duo: Stay there and let us take care of this.
Duo and Sage charge the monster thingy.
Amy: NO! LOOK OUT!
Back to the present . . .
Crystal: And then what happened?
Amy: They both instantly fell into this portal thing and then the monster thingy followed them and the portal closed.
Crystal: That's not so bad! How is that your fault?
Amy opens the door a crack, then steps outside.
Amy: I guess you're right. But I don't think it was a monster at all.
Crystal: What?
Amy: It had a weird symbol on its arm. It was a weird geometrical shape with a funky H and a strange M inside.
Crystal: My poor babies . . . er . . . what's that?
Amy: I dunno . . . But I don't think we should do an award right now.
Crystal: Let's go to a commercial . . .
COMMERCIAL
Crystal: Hiya. We're still on patrol to find our kidnaped guys.
Amy: YOUR kidnaped guys.
Crystal: Whatever. The only clue we have is this symbol.
Both go deep in thought.
Crystal: I got it!
Amy: Who is it?
Crystal: Hey Rowen, can you help us?
Rowen jogs on stage with Amy shaking her head in shame.
Amy: Nice one.
Rowen: I see . . .
Rowen looks at symbol and thinks.
Rowen: Hmmm . . . I think I have it. Armor of Strata, Tao Inochi! An eye for an eye, I always say.
Monster Thingy That's Not Really A Monster: Roar!!!!!!
Rowen: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Rowen is sucked into a portal. Monster thingy that's not really a monster jumps in after him and disappears. Amy goes slightly mad.
Amy: Now it's personal! DIE!! LET ME AT IT! LET ME AT IT!!
Crystal raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms.
Crystal: And it wasn't before?
Amy: Not really.
Crystal: I'll kill you for that later. Right now, we need help. HEY GOKU, TRUNKS! CAN YOU GIVE US A HAND AND GET UP HERE?
Goku and Trunks trot on stage from their seats.
Goku: Yeah? What's up?
Trunks: Hey.
A man stands up and yells angrily.
Vegeta: Why not me? I'm of Royal Blood and I am ten times better than Kakorrot!
Crystal: I don't trust you.
Vegeta: Ah, but you picked my son. My blood runs through his veins!
Crystal: Yeah . . . but he also has Bulma's brains. Besides, he's soooooooooo cute! Trunks: Oh boy . . .
Amy: Let's go! I need to teach that monster thingy that's not really a monster anymore a lesson for taking my boyfriend!
Crystal: What about mine?
Amy: Who cares. Mine's better.
Crystal: Yeah right!
Cat fight erupts. Goku breaks it up.
Goku: Settle down. Now what can I do to help?
Crystal: We need the help of your Instant Transmition. Concentrate on Sage.
Amy: Rowen!
Crystal: Sage!
Amy: Rowen!
Trunks senses another argument.
Trunks: How about Duo?
Amy and Crystal: FINE!
Goku: Hold on tight.
Goku grabs Amy's hand, who grabs Crystal's, who grabs Trunks' hand, against his will, of course.
Goku: Here we are.
Crystal: Oh boy . . .
COMMERCIAL
Crystal: Geez, we've been traveling forever!
Trunks: Actually, we've only been traveling for a few seconds.
Goku: I see a light ahead! Amy: We're here!
Goku and Trunks: Where's here?
Amy and Crystal: A mall!
A light fills the area to reveal the world's largest mall.
Goku: A what?
Trunks: Huh?
Amy: I don't get it.
Crystal: It figures. Now it all makes sense!
Amy: Of course! Now, where would they most likely be?
Trunks: They?
Crystal: H and M stand for Mia and Hirde.
Amy: Right, and they have no sense of fashion, so the least likely place they would think for us to look for them would be . . .
Amy and Crystal: Abracombie and Fitch!
Goku: You lost me back at the mall part.
Trunks: I think I hear something!
Goku: I do too!
Amy: It's the guys!
Crystal: Let's go!
Amy: Into the underworld of clothing stores!
They run into A & F to see Rowen in the distance in a skirt.
Amy: NO! That's it!
Crystal: They vanished!
Trunks: I still sense them! They're still here. . . . somewhere. . . .
COMMERCIAL
Some Guy: Now back to the Anime Awards! Now, here's your hosts . . . Hey? Where are they? Ummm, now put your hands together for the Backstreet Boys!
Back in the mall in the alternate universe . . .
Crystal: Well?
Amy: Where's my Rowey-Pooh?
Crystal: Rowey-Pooh?
Amy: Did I just say that out loud?
Crystal bursts out laughing as everyone nods their heads. Amy gives Crystal the 'look'.
Amy: Dare you laugh? I have some dirt on you!
Crystal stops laughing.
Crystal: Huh?
Amy begins to talk in a high pitched voice.
Amy: Oh, Sagey-Wagey . . .
Crystal's anger is rising. She lunges at Amy. Trunks and Goku ignore the fight.
Trunks: Try again, Goku.
Goku: Argh! I can't sense their power levels. But that's impossible, they have to be in this mall!
Trunks: I know I sensed them for a moment. But then I lost the trace. . . . . I got it, Goku. If there was a large electric disturbance, do you think that could affect the traceability of their power levels?
Goku: I guess.
Goku gets that confused look.
Goku: So, what does that mean?
Trunks: It means that wherever these guys are, is where there are a lot of electronic devices.
Goku: OH!
Goku get's the girls attention. They stop fighting.
Goku: We have an idea of where they are!
Crystal: Really?
Amy: Where?
Trunks: Somewhere where there are a lot of electronic devices.
Crystal whips out a mall of the mall. It opens up to cover the entire walkway.
Crystal: I wonder . . .
Amy: There!
Amy walks over and points at store Z49. It's next to boiler room BR15.
Amy: They're probably in the boiler room under this store. That would explain the disturbance!
All: Let's Go!
They run down the entire length of the mall 26 times, because there's only one flight of stairs to a side per floor. They run down an additional five flights of stairs and burst into a room outside BR15.
Trunks: Whoever designed this mall was insane!
Goku: Are all malls like this?
Suddenly, screams are heard from behind the door.
Duo: NO!!! NOT THAT!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!!
Sage: Please put that down . . . Come on! Stop!
Rowen: NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A DUMB BLOND!
Mia: Shut up and hold still, you two. I'll be done in a few moments!
Evil laughter escapes the two girls' mouths.
Hirde: Come on Duo, I only want a souvenir!
Scissors snap meticulously.
Crystal: Time to transform!
Amy: Right!
Crystal: Director 1 Crystal Power!
Amy: Director 2 Crystal Power!
Trunks and Goku: What the?
Amy transforms into Sailor Director 2, in a sailor suit with blue accents. Crystal transforms into Sailor Director 1, in a sailor suit with purple accents.
Crystal: We'll yell if we need help.
Goku: Right.
Sage, Duo, Rowen: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mia and Hirde laugh evilly, until they are started by voices.
Mia and Hirde: Huh?
Crystal: Stop right there, girls! We're the directors!
Amy: And the show must go on, you fashion rejects!
Crystal: So, in the name of the show . . .
Crystal and Amy: We shall punish you!
Mia: Yeah right! Computer Microwaves!
Black C's fly through the air.
Crystal: Ah!
Amy: Watch it!
Hirde: Evil Girl Syndrome!
Waves of black energy fly through the air.
Crystal: Ah!
Amy: Watch it!
Mia: Now to . . . what?
Hirde: Huh?
Two explosions cause Mia and Hirde to back off. They look up to see two men with gold hair and green eyes.
SSJ2 Trunks: Hold it right there, Hirde and Mia. These Directors are important to the success of the show!
SSJ2 Goku: Right! And so are the hosts. Now, Sailor Director 2!
Amy pulls out a gold megaphone. Imitating Rini . . .
Amy: Please help our show. Director Yelling Megaphone!
Heero appears in the sky and lends Sailor Director 1 his gun. Pegasus music begins to play.
Crystal: Director Firing Shot!
Energy slams into Mia and Hirde.
Mia and Hirde: We don't want to die!
Mia and Hirde break into tiny pieces. Crystal and Amy return to their regular states. Trunks and Goku return to normal and teleport away.
Heero: Hi Duo.
Duo is dressed in a black cocktail dress with loads of makeup on his face.
Duo: Oh Heero, help me out of here! Please, get me down!
Heero pulls out a camera, snaps a picture and puts the camera away.
Heero: Ok.
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Sage: Hey, Crystal. Get me down, please?
Sage is in a green cheerleading outfit. His hair is pulled into pigtails and he is wearing a ton of make-up.
Rowen: C'mon Amy! Pu-lease get me down?
Rowen is in a blue mini skirt and tube top. He has a ton of jewelry and make-up on. At his feet is a puddle of blonde dye. Amy looks at Crystal evilly.
Amy: One . . .
Amy whips out a camera.
Crystal: Two . . .
Crystal whips out a camera.
Amy and Crystal: Three!
They snap pictures. Sage is staring blankly ahead and Rowen is in a frenzy.
Sage: You're cruel.
Crystal: I know.
Rowen: NO! NO! NOT FAIR! DESTROY THE PRINTS! DESTROY THE NEGATIVES! I'LL HURT YOU AND KILL YOU TEN TIMES OVER, AMY MARNE! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!!
Amy: Oh, brother. Time to go home.
Amy snaps her fingers and everyone returns to the stage in their original condition.
COMMERCIAL
