Duo: Hello, hello. Once again, welcome back to the Anime Awards. Finally, after a bit of problems, we will now be underway again. Toonami is a wonderful thing . . . well, Anime itself i s the best thing in the world. Might I add that . . .

Amy: No, you may not add anything.

Duo looks up to see Amy sitting on the rafters.

Amy: This isn't in the script. We're not paying you to give a life history of anime! You're supposed to smile, say your name, introduce the presenters, etc. Is that so hard? Get on with it or I'll have to use my ice powers.

Duo swallows hard and nods his head.

Duo: Ok . . . um . . . we're your hosts. . . .

Amy: Oh, by the way. Sage, I had to give you a red shirt. The green one kinda got lost in the laundry room.

Sage walks on stage in a red shirt, with his arms crossed.

Sage: This isn't fair. This is a bunch of shit.

Amy: Did I just hear a curse?

Sage shakes his head frantically.

Sage: No, nope. I said shirt. Yep. No cursing here.

Amy: Ok, but I've got my eye on you, Mr. Date.

Duo shrugs and pretends that nothing has happened.

Duo: Welcome back! We're your hosts, Duo Maxwell . . .

Sage: . . . and Sage Date. Here's your presenter Raye . . .

Duo: . . also known as Sailor Mars!

Sage and Duo walk off as Mars walks on. They look behind them as she walks to the podium, before snickering as they walk offstage.

Raye: Hello! Hmm . . . I sense some evil here. But anyway, before I get to the award, I must inform you that due to all of the freaky and exciting events that have occurred, we will do only two more awards before the Best Supporting Actor. I'm here to present the Dumb Blonde Award. And the nominees are
Mihoshi
Serena

Mina
Sage

Raye: That's funny. There's an empty space and one name has been struck out so that I can't read it. Hmm . . . oh well. Anyway, the winner is Mihoshi! Mihoshi: Oh, wow, I won again! Don't worry, Kiyone. I know what to do this time! I want to thank, um, who do I thank again?

Duo: Huh?

Sage: That's Mihoshi for you!

Duo: But it's time for a commercial break!

Sage: And now a word from our . . . what's going on?

Amy jumps onto the stage.

Amy: Hold it! I need Crystal to come here. Now!

Crystal jumps down.

Crystal: What's up?

Duo: What's wrong now?

Amy: Crystal, if you would stand under this spot light. Thank you. Now, why have I brought you here? Hmm, I don't know . . . maybe because you're a big, fat, cheater! Lucky for you, it didn't affect the results.

Crystal: What are you talking about? Just because Rowen was a nominee for the Laziest Character, doesn't mean you can point fingers!

Amy: Oh, it's not about that. It's about this.

Amy throws the nominee card at Crystal. She looks down.

Crystal: How did this happen?

Amy: Don't deny it. I've got it all figured out. You saw that Sage was nominated for the award and you panicked, mainly because Quatre wasn't nominated, though if he was it wouldn't have mattered, so you crossed out his name before Mars picked up the card.

Crystal looks at Amy, before imitating a perfect Mrs. Scarlet.

Crystal: Who are you, Sherlock Holmes?

Amy: Yep. I'm good, aren't I? Now for that commercial.

Amy pulls Crystal to the side as they walk offstage. Amy: Now my advice for you for next time is. . . .

Crystal: Huh?

Amy: Um, no, it's to make sure you don't get caught. Hack into the computer and erase the name.

Amy smiles before jumping up to the rafters.

Crystal: She didn't do what I think she did, did she?

Crystal ponders this as she jumps up after Amy.

COMMERCIAL

Duo: Ok. Bye Raye.

Sage: Yep, there goes one of the eight reasons I love the show Sailor Moon.

Duo: What are the others?

Sage: Moon, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.

Duo and Sage high five as they snicker to themselves. Amy jumps down from the rafters.

Amy: Naughty boys need to be taught a lesson.

Duo: Huh?

Sage: Run!

Sage and Duo don't get very far when they are frozen solid. Crystal jumps down.

Crystal: No one punishes my guys except for me!

Amy: Is that so?

Crystal: Yes it is.

Crystal zaps the frozen bodies of Sage and Duo with a lightning bolt. It melts the ice. The two boys run and hide. Amy and Crystal break out in a major cat fight which eventually rolls offstage. Sage sticks his head up from behind the podium.

Sage: Um, ok?

Duo jumps up from the pit in front of the stage.

Duo: Yeah . . . Presenting . . . oh dang, he's not back from the hospital with Heero yet. Well, since Sai is tu amigo, I'll present! I'm presenting the Best Villain Award! Or would that be worst since villains are bad? Oh well. The nominees are
Vegeta the most powerful sayian prince
Cell I was perfect, and I will be again
Mistress 9 where is Saturn, I need more heart crystals
Talpa I need your souls, die humans, die

Duo: Somebody has written all over the ballot. Oh well. The winner is Vegeta!

Vegeta walks on stage and stands at the podium. He pulls out a pair of thick glasses and puts them on. He then talks in his normal voice, which is very high and squeaky.

Vegeta: Hi! Wow, this is so cool! Who thought I'd actually win? This is soooo funny!

He begins to laugh and ends up snorting before he finishes.

Vegeta: Well, Anyone want to see my bug collection? No takers? Oh well. See ya!

Duo: Ok . . .

Sage: What you said . . .

COMMERCIAL

Duo: Hi, how are my peeps?

Sage: Yes, hello, and what a lovely crowd!

Duo: Hey Sage!

Sage: Yeah?

Duo: This is one of my favorite awards!

Sage: Yes, finally we will find some proof that I am better than you.

Duo: Oh yeah?

Duo raises his fists and is shifting weight from one foot to another.

Amy: Hey, catch this!

Amy throws a paper airplane that hits Sage in the head. Duo stares at Sage before leaning down to pick it up.

Sage: That's gonna leave a mark!

Duo: It says, 'Due to the discretion of the Anime Corporation, We hear-by proclaim Duo Maxwell, Rowen Hashiba, Quatre Rebarba Winner, Sage Date, and the like ineligible to win tonight's award'. What the?

Sage: That's no–

Amy turns Sage and Duo into ice and removes them from the stage. The audience claps in awe as the figures fly off stage, thinking its magic. Amy walks to the podium.

Amy: Well, I give you Kayura, the Best Supporting Actress.

Kayura: Hello. This is a big award tonight. It reminds me of the time when the warlords. . .

Amy: Um, let me think. NO STORIES!!!

Kayura: Sorry. The nominees for Best Supporting Actor are
Tenchi's Grandfather
Kagato
Wufei
Mia's Grandfather

Kayura: You sure this isn't the old man award?

Wufei: I am not old, woman!

Kayura: I'll kick your ass if you talk again.

Wufei: Gulp.

Kayura: Anyway, the winner is Yosho, Tenchi's Grandfather!

Yosho: Hmm, how interesting . . . I thank all who helped me get here, they know who they are. But I leave you with this advice: You must cultivate the mind, the spirit, and the soul, but you must always cultivate the soul. Now is the time to crack the future.

Amy: Um, we'll be . . .

Crystal runs on stage, pushing a tied up Kento offstage. He had apparently tried to raid the refrigerator again.

Crystal: Amy!

Amy: What's up?

Crystal: Where's Sage and Duo? Did they take it hard? Did you remember to tell them that they're nominated later for Best Actor?

Amy: No, they freaked out and, um, took off! Rowen and Quatre already know!

Amy smiles devilishly as the lights fad out.

COMMERCIAL

Crystal storms on stage in a rage. Amy looks innocently at her.

Crystal: You lied to me.

Amy pretends to be clueless.

Amy: What do you mean?

Crystal: I talked to Rowen. He didn't know about his nomination.

Amy: Oh . . . uh . . . um . . . ok. Sorry?

Amy shrugs and smiles. Crystal shakes her head and frowns.

Crystal: And Sage and Duo have been missing.

Amy begins to fidget nervously.

Amy: Oh, really?

Crystal: Do you know where they are?

Amy: No, not really.

Amy hides her crossed fingers. Crystal sighs before smiling.

Crystal: Ok. I didn't want to do this. Audience, does she know?

Audience: YES!!!

Crystal: Really?

Audience: YES!!!

Crystal: Amy?

Amy: Oh, all right.

Sage and Duo's frozen forms float back on the stage. She defrosts them.

Crystal: How many times . . .

Sage: –ot fair! Huh?

Duo: What happened?

Evil Person's Voice: Ahaha. . . .

Duo: What in tarnation was that?

Sage: Tarnation?

Duo: Too many cartoons. . . .

Sage: Ok. . . .

Mihoshi: I know that voice!

Mihoshi runs on stage. Trunks stands up.

Trunks: (thinking) Stupid girl!

Trunks runs after her.

Trunks: (thinking) I've gotta stop her!

Amy: Hey Mihoshi!

Crystal: Trunks, what's up?

Trunks: Nothing much.

Mihoshi: There's an evil person here.

Sage: Who?

Evil Person's Voice: Me! The smartest, bestest, mad scientist in the world! Mihoshi: It can't be! Unless. . . are you Washu?

Evil Person's Voice: No! I'm also the evilest!

Mihoshi: Got me there!

Evil Person's Voice: Now for some fun! Ahaha!!!

The lights flicker off, followed by a blinding flash, and then the lights flicker on.

Duo: Ok. This is my show and no one does anything without my permission.

Trunks: This is my show, too, ya know.

Mihoshi: What am I, chopped liver?

Amy: Yeah, what he said!

Crystal: Something isn't right.

Sage: Yeah!

Everyone realizes what happened.

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duo: Get out of my body, Duo!

Amy: When you get out of mine, Amy!

Mihoshi: My hair! Wahhhhhhh!!! I hate this!

Sage: You think I like seeing out of one eye, Sage? I think I should cut it off. . .

Mihoshi: YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING TO MY HAIR!!!!!

Sage: Sheesh, take a chill pill.

Trunks: This is kinda cool.

Crystal looks at herself.

Crystal: Look who's talking. I'll never be normal again!

Trunks: Shut it, Trunks.

Crystal: Sorry.

Up inside a spaceship floating above the studio. . .

Evil Person: Ahh ha ha ha!! Poor Sage, Duo, Crystal, Amy, Trunks, and Mihoshi. See if you like it Mihoshi! Taking all the glory! Oh well, I guess I'll enjoy the show! Bwahh ha ha!!!

COMMERCIAL