48 hours later...
After having received a call to discuss Emily's case the day before, Scully had called the doctor back and asked to speak to him during her lunch break. He'd agreed readily enough, so Scully was more than thrilled to be getting away from the most recent dead body when noon rolled around. The pathologist who planned to cover for her if the appointment took longer than an hour wished her luck as she hurried down the hallway.
The doctor caring for Emily looked up at Scully as she entered the room. " I'm glad that you were able to come her to discuss this will me." He told her before offering her a seat.
"You said you discovered something unusual?" She prompted him.
"I did indeed. Unfortunately, you are not a good match for Emily. However, as we discussed earlier, I ran Emily's DNA through the databases to see if there were any likely matches."
"And?" Scully asked, wondering what he was getting at.
"Well the program flagged that she did come back as partial match to both you and William, which is to be expected, since you are blood relatives. It's unfortunate that William so young, because the records that were forwarded to us from the DNA tests he and his father took in North Dakota, which we entered into the database, show that he is a good match. While it's not entirely unheard of to use children as young as one-year-old as donors, I'd prefer not to if possible, since their tiny bodies don't offer as much marrow as an older child's or an adult's. I think we should, however, keep him in mind as a last resort, because they match quite closely. Far more closely than one would expect half siblings to." The doctor said pointedly.
"What are you saying?" Scully asked, confused.
"In addition to those two matches, there were also two more. Am I correct in recalling that you said that you don't know who her father is because she was conceived without your knowledge, then carried by a surrogate?" He waited for Scully to nod in agreement. "I'm not sure how you're going to take this news..." he trailed off hesitantly.
"Please continue." Scully demanded anxiously. "I need to know if you discovered something that indicates who her father is."
"One of the matches, which unfortunately isn't close enough to consider for donation purposes, is Fox Mulder, your son's father-"
"Are you implying that Mulder is Emily's father?" Scully asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. While the match is close enough to indicate a family relationship, he's not her father. The other match is."
Scully stared at him, one thought in her mind pleasenotCSMpleasenotCSM. " Who?" She asked in a quavering voice.
"There's over a 99% likelihood that her father is also a former FBI agent, who also recently underwent a DNA test. One Jeffery Spender."
At least it's not the smoking man, she thought giddily. "I wonder how Mulder is going to feel about being an uncle." She said thinly, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
"I'm sure I have no idea. I take it from your reaction that you know this Spender. Do you think he'd be willing to help his child?" The doctor asked her. "He's the closest match."
"If I can contact him, I think he could be persuaded. He owes me one."
**
25 minutes later...
"What are you talking about? I don't have a kid." Spender growled, wishing he'd gone through with his inspiration of changing his phone number; he hadn't because he'd worried that the syndicate would have taken it as an act of rebellion. Now that he was fully healed he was more inclined to try to get out from under, and promised himself that he'd really change the number. And possibly flee the country to avoid further phone conversations like this one. "I certainly do not have a child with you!" Spender then silently added, I think that is an encounter I would remember. He listened for a moment without comment. "Oh, when you were abducted...no I was never an alien abductee!! That was my mom's shick not mine. I don't care what the DNA test said, it's not possible." He insisted.
Spender nearly dropped the phone when a half-forgotten memory rushed back to him. Several years earlier, a former classmate approached him for help..." Oh my God, Scully there is a way, I'd just forgotten about it. Back about ten years ago a former college classmate asked me to help her out. She was a scientist working for a company doing research for facilities performing IVF...yeah, but when she asked me if I'd give her a sperm sample, I sort of forgot what she was doing for a living, and thought she was just being coy...That's not a very nice thing to say to someone who you're asking a favor from, Scully! Anyway, by the time I figured out she was being literal, I felt so stupid I went through with it. She assured me that the sample would only be used in an experiment for improving long term storage...No, I've never seen that episode of Ally McBeal, and I don't think it's very nice of you to laugh at me....... I'm still here. Ok, but you have to promise me one thing....Don't tell her I'm her father....Well, maybe someday, but I'm not ready for someone to think of me as their father. We can discuss that later....Ok, call me back when you set up the appointment so I can book a flight. I'm not doing anything I can't take a few days off from. You're welcome, but if this is my kid, I owe her, right? Bye."
Spender slumped in his chair after hanging up the phone. After how maudlin he'd felt holding William and knowing he wasn't likely to have a child of his own, he was shocked at how little he felt now that he knew he had one. Perhaps, he reflected as he got up to pour himself a stiff drink, joy takes longer to develop than utter numbness. His hands shook as he poured his brandy.
**
Mulder was organizing the cabinet under the sink when Scully came home. William was imprisoned in his playpen, and Mulder had assigned Emily to be his warden, with instructions not to give him parole under any circumstances. The things he was going to be pulling out of the cabinet could hurt a baby, he explained to her, so it was for his own good that he be left in the playpen to whine. Emily was doing her best to entertain the indignant little boy, while also following her mother's standing orders not to tire herself in the process.
Scully had come into the kitchen so quietly that Mulder jumped when he finally realized that she was standing. He was about to moan about her scaring him, when the look on her face scared him more.
"Scully, what's wrong?"
"Mulder, we need to talk."
Mulder began to stuff things back into the cabinet as quickly as he could. "Did the doctor have bad news about Emily's latest test results?" He asked, thinking about how Emily was being tested every other day as a condition of being able to stay out of the hospital. Scully shook her head. "Is there something wrong with your mom or something?" He asked, clipping the childproof lock back into place.
"No, nothing like that." Scully said tiredly as she sat down at the table. Mulder shrugged and washed his hands before joining her. "Mulder, I talked to Emily's doctor during my lunch break this afternoon. And he gave me some unexpected news."
"Don't leave me in suspense." Mulder said, tying to break the tension and failing. He poured himself a cup of coffee and offered her some, which she refused.
"The first thing he told me was something I feared, I'm not a good match for Emily."
"But there's that database he told you about, isn't there?" Mulder asked.
"Yeah...and that's where things get weird. He went ahead and did the database search, and came back with some matches."
Mulder gave her a confused look. "That's a good thing, isn't it?"
Scully gave a short laugh, which frightened him. "I suppose that depends on how you look at it...Mulder, Emily's your niece."
"What?" Mulder yelped, dropping his mug. It didn't break but coffee splashed all over the table.
"The DNA search came up with an over 99 present probability that Emily is Jeffery Spender's biological daughter. He's also the best possible match for her. I talked to him this afternoon, and he's going to donate his marrow to her."
Mulder used a paper towel to tackle the spill with angry swipes. "I can't believe that you already talked to him without even telling me first."
Scully shrugged. "I'm sorry, but I felt I had to do it immediately, before I lost my nerve."
"So what does he want in exchange? Visitation? Custody?" The last word came out as half-growl.
Scully reached out and put her hand over his. "Nothing like that. In fact, he asked that we not tell her who he is."
Mulder's disbelief showed plainly on his face. "He knows that he has a child, and doesn't want anything to do with it?" Mulder could not fathom having a child and not doing everything in your power to keep it close.
Scully read him like an open book. "Apparently not. Mulder...you and your brother don't have much in common, so maybe it's not fair to expect him to react the same way you would." She told him gently.
"So I'm an uncle?" Mulder asked, some of the tension fading from his face. "After my mother died, I thought I didn't have a single blood-relative left, now I have three. Fancy that."
Scully walked over to him and gave him a hug. "I think Spender might be right, though, we may want to wait until she's older to explain the complicated family ties to her."
Mulder pulled her tighter. "Sounds like a plan to me." She's my niece, he thought with wonder, she's my blood after all.
**
Eight days later...
Spender grimaced when a nurse approached with the very large needle they would use later on to extract the bone marrow from his hip. Although he knew that it was going to be different this time, he was still plagued by his mind's insistent habit of equating any and all needles with the terrible experiment they did on him. As he thought about them punching the needle into a very ordinary, perfectly smooth patch of skin on his hip, he decided that this was the debt he needed to repay for his restored appearance, and that it was ok. He was going to go into hiding as soon as he left the hospital, so no one in the syndicate could take him to task for it, but it was ok.
He'd visited the hospital the night before, and looked in on Emily while the girl was sleeping. He thought about waking her to see if her eyes were as much like Scully's as he'd been told, but he was afraid to. It was better that she never know he was there. He studied her as she slept, looking for something of himself in her. He thought perhaps that she had his ears, and something about the shape of her mouth echoed his.
He couldn't believe that such a perfect-looking child had already come close to losing a battle for her life, and was headed down that path yet again. If not for the pallor of her skin, he might have been able to convince himself that she wasn't really ill. But he of all people knew you couldn't judge the outside to determine damage on the inside. They'd been able to remove the scars to his outside, but inside they were as thick and ugly on his soul as ever.
While he wouldn't need to check into the hospital until the next day, just a few hours before the procedure was scheduled, Emily had already been back in the hospital for nearly a week to prepare for the transplant. For five days she had received chemotherapy, like a cancer patient, so that her own bone marrow would be completely obliterated. It was the only way his marrow would have a shot at graphing itself to the insides of her bones. As he continued to study her, he gave her an empathetic look, because he knew that her hospital stay was far from over- it would take two weeks to a month for the borrowed marrow to begin to produce healthy cells, so she would probably be in the hospital until mid-October. He would be long gone by then, but planned to call Scully on a secured line to get updates about the girl's progress.
For a moment he mourned the fact that he would probably never know this daughter of his, and never feel her little arms wrap around him and hear her call him Daddy. His brother might one day gain those privileges, and for once he didn't feel bitter about his brother having something he didn't. After all, he'd had time with their sister that Mulder himself didn't. It all evens out in the end, Spender thought as broke the hospital's rule about germs and patients with compromised immune systems by briefly removing the mask from his face; he leaned down and kissed the sleeping child's forehead, and decided that life's cruelty is summed up in its checks and balances.
His thoughts were so consuming that he barely realized that he would be helpless as soon as the mask they'd just placed over his face made him drift into unconsciousness. His last idle thought before drifting off was if the procedure left scars, he'd be proud to bear them, since they would be legitimately earned.
**
As he started to come out of it a couple of hours later, his first thought was fear. Fear that he would open his eyes and find himself back to his erstwhile horrific state. But since he was so much braver than he used to be, he opened his eyes. And found he was unchanged, other than the bandages on his hips, and the aches there.
Before he sighed a breath of relief, he realized that he was not the only person in the room. His older brother was sitting in a chair next to his bed. He couldn't help but wonder why.
"Why aren't you with Emily?" He asked Mulder, hating how hoarse he sounded.
Mulder noticed, and poured him a glass of water. "Scully's with Emily. I wanted to be here until you woke up."
"Why?"
"Partly because I wanted to make sure you were ok. I don't like anything that causes someone to be unconscious, so I like to be around to make sure they wake up ok. Not everyone does, and it's scary to think about."
"You said partly. What else?" Spender asks, as he puts down his empty cup.
"I wanted to thank you." Mulder says simply.
"You don't need to thank me." Spender says getting embarrassed. "I owe it to her. She's...my daughter. I just did what any parent would."
"I'm thanking you because you made Scully feel a whole lot better about a grim situation when nothing I could do would. That sort of thing becomes important to you when you love someone as much as I love her."
"I wouldn't know." Spender demurred.
Mulder smiled at him. "Don't sell yourself short. I think you might some day. I know you plan to start a whole new life when they let you leave the hospital in the morning. Let me give you the only piece of advice I ever will, brother to brother. Make sure that it's a real life you're starting. Don't cut yourself off from love and the other finer things in life because you're scared to. I spent a decade doing that, and it didn't get me anywhere fast."
"I'll keep that in mind." Spender told him, smiling weakly. For once in his life he actually felt like he had a brother. "How's Emily doing?"
"Ok so far. As the donor, you got the raw end of the deal, all things considered. All that is happening to her right now is that they have a catheter in a vein in her chest, which is slowly feeding the marrow into her body, and it will continue to do for hours. She'll be less sore when it's through than you are." Mulder apologized.
"Yeah, well, at least I get sprung from here in the morning, and don't have to lie around for weeks." Spender said with a rueful smile.
"That's a good point." Mulder said as the two brothers continued to chat about things that were important, and those that were not.
**
After having received a call to discuss Emily's case the day before, Scully had called the doctor back and asked to speak to him during her lunch break. He'd agreed readily enough, so Scully was more than thrilled to be getting away from the most recent dead body when noon rolled around. The pathologist who planned to cover for her if the appointment took longer than an hour wished her luck as she hurried down the hallway.
The doctor caring for Emily looked up at Scully as she entered the room. " I'm glad that you were able to come her to discuss this will me." He told her before offering her a seat.
"You said you discovered something unusual?" She prompted him.
"I did indeed. Unfortunately, you are not a good match for Emily. However, as we discussed earlier, I ran Emily's DNA through the databases to see if there were any likely matches."
"And?" Scully asked, wondering what he was getting at.
"Well the program flagged that she did come back as partial match to both you and William, which is to be expected, since you are blood relatives. It's unfortunate that William so young, because the records that were forwarded to us from the DNA tests he and his father took in North Dakota, which we entered into the database, show that he is a good match. While it's not entirely unheard of to use children as young as one-year-old as donors, I'd prefer not to if possible, since their tiny bodies don't offer as much marrow as an older child's or an adult's. I think we should, however, keep him in mind as a last resort, because they match quite closely. Far more closely than one would expect half siblings to." The doctor said pointedly.
"What are you saying?" Scully asked, confused.
"In addition to those two matches, there were also two more. Am I correct in recalling that you said that you don't know who her father is because she was conceived without your knowledge, then carried by a surrogate?" He waited for Scully to nod in agreement. "I'm not sure how you're going to take this news..." he trailed off hesitantly.
"Please continue." Scully demanded anxiously. "I need to know if you discovered something that indicates who her father is."
"One of the matches, which unfortunately isn't close enough to consider for donation purposes, is Fox Mulder, your son's father-"
"Are you implying that Mulder is Emily's father?" Scully asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. While the match is close enough to indicate a family relationship, he's not her father. The other match is."
Scully stared at him, one thought in her mind pleasenotCSMpleasenotCSM. " Who?" She asked in a quavering voice.
"There's over a 99% likelihood that her father is also a former FBI agent, who also recently underwent a DNA test. One Jeffery Spender."
At least it's not the smoking man, she thought giddily. "I wonder how Mulder is going to feel about being an uncle." She said thinly, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
"I'm sure I have no idea. I take it from your reaction that you know this Spender. Do you think he'd be willing to help his child?" The doctor asked her. "He's the closest match."
"If I can contact him, I think he could be persuaded. He owes me one."
**
25 minutes later...
"What are you talking about? I don't have a kid." Spender growled, wishing he'd gone through with his inspiration of changing his phone number; he hadn't because he'd worried that the syndicate would have taken it as an act of rebellion. Now that he was fully healed he was more inclined to try to get out from under, and promised himself that he'd really change the number. And possibly flee the country to avoid further phone conversations like this one. "I certainly do not have a child with you!" Spender then silently added, I think that is an encounter I would remember. He listened for a moment without comment. "Oh, when you were abducted...no I was never an alien abductee!! That was my mom's shick not mine. I don't care what the DNA test said, it's not possible." He insisted.
Spender nearly dropped the phone when a half-forgotten memory rushed back to him. Several years earlier, a former classmate approached him for help..." Oh my God, Scully there is a way, I'd just forgotten about it. Back about ten years ago a former college classmate asked me to help her out. She was a scientist working for a company doing research for facilities performing IVF...yeah, but when she asked me if I'd give her a sperm sample, I sort of forgot what she was doing for a living, and thought she was just being coy...That's not a very nice thing to say to someone who you're asking a favor from, Scully! Anyway, by the time I figured out she was being literal, I felt so stupid I went through with it. She assured me that the sample would only be used in an experiment for improving long term storage...No, I've never seen that episode of Ally McBeal, and I don't think it's very nice of you to laugh at me....... I'm still here. Ok, but you have to promise me one thing....Don't tell her I'm her father....Well, maybe someday, but I'm not ready for someone to think of me as their father. We can discuss that later....Ok, call me back when you set up the appointment so I can book a flight. I'm not doing anything I can't take a few days off from. You're welcome, but if this is my kid, I owe her, right? Bye."
Spender slumped in his chair after hanging up the phone. After how maudlin he'd felt holding William and knowing he wasn't likely to have a child of his own, he was shocked at how little he felt now that he knew he had one. Perhaps, he reflected as he got up to pour himself a stiff drink, joy takes longer to develop than utter numbness. His hands shook as he poured his brandy.
**
Mulder was organizing the cabinet under the sink when Scully came home. William was imprisoned in his playpen, and Mulder had assigned Emily to be his warden, with instructions not to give him parole under any circumstances. The things he was going to be pulling out of the cabinet could hurt a baby, he explained to her, so it was for his own good that he be left in the playpen to whine. Emily was doing her best to entertain the indignant little boy, while also following her mother's standing orders not to tire herself in the process.
Scully had come into the kitchen so quietly that Mulder jumped when he finally realized that she was standing. He was about to moan about her scaring him, when the look on her face scared him more.
"Scully, what's wrong?"
"Mulder, we need to talk."
Mulder began to stuff things back into the cabinet as quickly as he could. "Did the doctor have bad news about Emily's latest test results?" He asked, thinking about how Emily was being tested every other day as a condition of being able to stay out of the hospital. Scully shook her head. "Is there something wrong with your mom or something?" He asked, clipping the childproof lock back into place.
"No, nothing like that." Scully said tiredly as she sat down at the table. Mulder shrugged and washed his hands before joining her. "Mulder, I talked to Emily's doctor during my lunch break this afternoon. And he gave me some unexpected news."
"Don't leave me in suspense." Mulder said, tying to break the tension and failing. He poured himself a cup of coffee and offered her some, which she refused.
"The first thing he told me was something I feared, I'm not a good match for Emily."
"But there's that database he told you about, isn't there?" Mulder asked.
"Yeah...and that's where things get weird. He went ahead and did the database search, and came back with some matches."
Mulder gave her a confused look. "That's a good thing, isn't it?"
Scully gave a short laugh, which frightened him. "I suppose that depends on how you look at it...Mulder, Emily's your niece."
"What?" Mulder yelped, dropping his mug. It didn't break but coffee splashed all over the table.
"The DNA search came up with an over 99 present probability that Emily is Jeffery Spender's biological daughter. He's also the best possible match for her. I talked to him this afternoon, and he's going to donate his marrow to her."
Mulder used a paper towel to tackle the spill with angry swipes. "I can't believe that you already talked to him without even telling me first."
Scully shrugged. "I'm sorry, but I felt I had to do it immediately, before I lost my nerve."
"So what does he want in exchange? Visitation? Custody?" The last word came out as half-growl.
Scully reached out and put her hand over his. "Nothing like that. In fact, he asked that we not tell her who he is."
Mulder's disbelief showed plainly on his face. "He knows that he has a child, and doesn't want anything to do with it?" Mulder could not fathom having a child and not doing everything in your power to keep it close.
Scully read him like an open book. "Apparently not. Mulder...you and your brother don't have much in common, so maybe it's not fair to expect him to react the same way you would." She told him gently.
"So I'm an uncle?" Mulder asked, some of the tension fading from his face. "After my mother died, I thought I didn't have a single blood-relative left, now I have three. Fancy that."
Scully walked over to him and gave him a hug. "I think Spender might be right, though, we may want to wait until she's older to explain the complicated family ties to her."
Mulder pulled her tighter. "Sounds like a plan to me." She's my niece, he thought with wonder, she's my blood after all.
**
Eight days later...
Spender grimaced when a nurse approached with the very large needle they would use later on to extract the bone marrow from his hip. Although he knew that it was going to be different this time, he was still plagued by his mind's insistent habit of equating any and all needles with the terrible experiment they did on him. As he thought about them punching the needle into a very ordinary, perfectly smooth patch of skin on his hip, he decided that this was the debt he needed to repay for his restored appearance, and that it was ok. He was going to go into hiding as soon as he left the hospital, so no one in the syndicate could take him to task for it, but it was ok.
He'd visited the hospital the night before, and looked in on Emily while the girl was sleeping. He thought about waking her to see if her eyes were as much like Scully's as he'd been told, but he was afraid to. It was better that she never know he was there. He studied her as she slept, looking for something of himself in her. He thought perhaps that she had his ears, and something about the shape of her mouth echoed his.
He couldn't believe that such a perfect-looking child had already come close to losing a battle for her life, and was headed down that path yet again. If not for the pallor of her skin, he might have been able to convince himself that she wasn't really ill. But he of all people knew you couldn't judge the outside to determine damage on the inside. They'd been able to remove the scars to his outside, but inside they were as thick and ugly on his soul as ever.
While he wouldn't need to check into the hospital until the next day, just a few hours before the procedure was scheduled, Emily had already been back in the hospital for nearly a week to prepare for the transplant. For five days she had received chemotherapy, like a cancer patient, so that her own bone marrow would be completely obliterated. It was the only way his marrow would have a shot at graphing itself to the insides of her bones. As he continued to study her, he gave her an empathetic look, because he knew that her hospital stay was far from over- it would take two weeks to a month for the borrowed marrow to begin to produce healthy cells, so she would probably be in the hospital until mid-October. He would be long gone by then, but planned to call Scully on a secured line to get updates about the girl's progress.
For a moment he mourned the fact that he would probably never know this daughter of his, and never feel her little arms wrap around him and hear her call him Daddy. His brother might one day gain those privileges, and for once he didn't feel bitter about his brother having something he didn't. After all, he'd had time with their sister that Mulder himself didn't. It all evens out in the end, Spender thought as broke the hospital's rule about germs and patients with compromised immune systems by briefly removing the mask from his face; he leaned down and kissed the sleeping child's forehead, and decided that life's cruelty is summed up in its checks and balances.
His thoughts were so consuming that he barely realized that he would be helpless as soon as the mask they'd just placed over his face made him drift into unconsciousness. His last idle thought before drifting off was if the procedure left scars, he'd be proud to bear them, since they would be legitimately earned.
**
As he started to come out of it a couple of hours later, his first thought was fear. Fear that he would open his eyes and find himself back to his erstwhile horrific state. But since he was so much braver than he used to be, he opened his eyes. And found he was unchanged, other than the bandages on his hips, and the aches there.
Before he sighed a breath of relief, he realized that he was not the only person in the room. His older brother was sitting in a chair next to his bed. He couldn't help but wonder why.
"Why aren't you with Emily?" He asked Mulder, hating how hoarse he sounded.
Mulder noticed, and poured him a glass of water. "Scully's with Emily. I wanted to be here until you woke up."
"Why?"
"Partly because I wanted to make sure you were ok. I don't like anything that causes someone to be unconscious, so I like to be around to make sure they wake up ok. Not everyone does, and it's scary to think about."
"You said partly. What else?" Spender asks, as he puts down his empty cup.
"I wanted to thank you." Mulder says simply.
"You don't need to thank me." Spender says getting embarrassed. "I owe it to her. She's...my daughter. I just did what any parent would."
"I'm thanking you because you made Scully feel a whole lot better about a grim situation when nothing I could do would. That sort of thing becomes important to you when you love someone as much as I love her."
"I wouldn't know." Spender demurred.
Mulder smiled at him. "Don't sell yourself short. I think you might some day. I know you plan to start a whole new life when they let you leave the hospital in the morning. Let me give you the only piece of advice I ever will, brother to brother. Make sure that it's a real life you're starting. Don't cut yourself off from love and the other finer things in life because you're scared to. I spent a decade doing that, and it didn't get me anywhere fast."
"I'll keep that in mind." Spender told him, smiling weakly. For once in his life he actually felt like he had a brother. "How's Emily doing?"
"Ok so far. As the donor, you got the raw end of the deal, all things considered. All that is happening to her right now is that they have a catheter in a vein in her chest, which is slowly feeding the marrow into her body, and it will continue to do for hours. She'll be less sore when it's through than you are." Mulder apologized.
"Yeah, well, at least I get sprung from here in the morning, and don't have to lie around for weeks." Spender said with a rueful smile.
"That's a good point." Mulder said as the two brothers continued to chat about things that were important, and those that were not.
**
