Amy: Why wasn't everyone's name written out completely, hmm? Does somebody
want to tell me????
Sage: Typo?
Amy: Dang it!
Duo: Huh?
Amy: Now I can't sue anybody! I guess I'll have to watch tv. . . .
Duo: Hey, can we–
Amy: Absolutely not.
Sage: Why not?
Amy: Because, if I let you watch it, then I would have to let everyone watch it.
Duo: But, but. . . .
Amy: No buts.
She jumps up to the rafters.
Sage: Aww, did she hurt your feelings because she didn't let you watch your tv show with the pink elephant?
Duo: I don't know what your talking about.
Sage: Yes you do. You still have that blanket with it on the front.
Duo: Why I outta. . . .
Amy: Get to the award. . . . my ice powers could use some targets. . . .
Sage: Fine.
Duo: As we had earlier. . . .
Sage: Pink elephant. . . .
Amy: Sage, better watch yourself. I have some blackmail on you. One more elephant phase from your mouth and I'll the audience about how you have all the episodes of that show on tape! Oh dear, did I say that out loud? Oops.
Everyone cracks up while Sage goes red, crosses his arms, and looks away.
Duo: Earlier, we had, the well, sicko version of couples mostly likely to be more than friends, so now we have the Most Likely to Be a Couple – the sane version. The nominees are
Heero and Relena
Ryo and Mia
Darian and Serena
Tenchi and Ryoko
Sage: The winner is. . . well, its says here that Ryo has too much of an attitude problem – not far from the truth, I'll admit – a lot can happen in the future and Jurians and Space Pirates will never work because of other Jurians getting in the way. . .so the winners are Heero and Relena. unfortunately, neither are here, so we'll mail them their trophies.
Duo: We'll be back!
COMMERCIAL
Duo is leaning against a wall and Sage is seated on a chair. Sage's head is nodding to the rhythm of his music. Duo puts his headphones on.
Duo: Hey Sage?
No response.
Duo: Oh well.
He stands up and starts to dance.
Duo: Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who?
His hands are moving in circles around his head. He then switches to an Egyptian-like dance.
Duo: Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who?
Sage opens one eye.
Sage: Sheesh, Duo. Grow up.
Duo sticks out his tongue and continues to dance. Sage rolls his eyes and nods his head to his "Beethoven's Sixth and other Classical Scores by Classical Composers" CD. Up in the rafters, Amy is listening to her boom box.
Amy: All you people, can't you see, can't you see? How your love's affecting our reality? Every time we're down, you can make it right, and that makes you larger than life.
She keeps singing as Crystal walks into the room.
Crystal: Amy? Amy? AMY!!
She turns off the boom box. Amy continues to sing off-key.
Amy: How your love's affecting our reality. HEY!! I was listening to that!
Crystal: Sorry, but we have to present.
Amy: Why can't the guys do it?
Crystal looks backstage.
Crystal: Duo is dancing and Sage is in the 'Musical Mood'.
Amy: Tell me about it. Quatre and Rowen went to a Britney Spears concert.
Crystal: I wonder. . . hey, did you get the mail today.
Amy: No, I thought you did.
Crystal: No. . . .
Amy and Crystal: THE BILLS!!!
Amy: I guess we have to present.
Crystal: Lets.
They jump on stage.
Amy: Hey, now its time we recognized those who put a lot of effort into that musical score that's behind all the action in our favorite shows.
Crystal: Right. So, the nominees for best musical score are
Gundam Wing
Ronin Warriors
Sailor Moon S
Dragon Ball Z
Digimon: Digital Monsters
Tenchi Universe
Inside the directors' heads. . . .
Crystal: This is really tough.
Amy: I think Digimon is out.
Crystal: Normally, I would kill you for that, but I have to agree.
Digimon: Digital Monsters
Crystal: And the Sailor Moon S should definitely go.
Amy: But the outer transformation. . . .
Crystal: . . . is the only good thing about it.
Amy: Point taken.
Sailor Moon S
Amy: And out with Tenchi.
Crystal: That's a shocker.
Amy: Yeah, well. . .
Crystal: Gone.
Tenchi Universe
Amy: Now what?
Crystal: Three way tie?
Amy: Can we do that?
Crystal: Are we directors or are we directors?
Outside the directors' heads.
Amy: Ladies and gentlemen. The voting squad couldn't decide, so there's a three way tie! The composers of Dragon Ball Z, Ronin Warriors, and Gundam Wing will be sent their awards by Wing Zero mail.
Duo and Sage run on stage.
Duo: Did I miss the award? Sage: My watch broke. Are we late?
Amy and Crystal: Yes.
They smile evilly.
COMMERCIAL
Duo: You mean we didn't get to present the award?
Sage: We missed it? I can't believe it! Why didn't you remind us?
Duo: Yeah, we really wanted to do the award!
Crystal: Umm. . . .
Amy: Er. . .
Kiyone lands on stage, crashing through the roof.
Duo: I think we should put a door there.
Kiyone: I can tell you why!
Crystal: Uh-oh.
Amy: You explain it to them and we'll go. . . take our break.
Crystal: Yeah. . . . good idea
They start to creep off.
Kiyone: Hold it right there!
They freeze in mid step.
Crystal: Huh?
Amy: You talking to us?
Kiyone: Yes! Mihoshi! Give me a hand!
They handcuff Amy and Crystal to the podium.
Duo: Huh?
Kiyone: Nobody is leaving this stage until one winner is declared.
Sage: Beg your pardon?
Kiyone: These two here allegedly announced a three way tie when actually the voting committee did decide a winner. They thought it be funny if they made a tie because they didn't want to get rid of some of the shows.
Duo: Your kidding!
Kiyone: No, I'm not. How do you plead. Amy? Crystal?
Crystal: Um. . . . er . . . . a funny thing hap – guilty as charged.
Sage: WHAT!?!
Kiyone: Amy?
Amy: I plead. . . plead. . . I plead for insanity! See, see, see, um, um, um. . . . see Relena. . . . yeah, Relena was sending me telepathic signals to get rid of Tenchi Universe and create a tie and threatened to kill me if I didn't and I was . . . . really, really, REALLY scared so I did it and now you treat me like a common criminal!
Everyone stares in shock as Amy begins to cry.
Kiyone: Ok. . . ok.
Kiyone shakes her head and Amy cries harder.
Kiyone: OK!! I believe you. Sheesh.
Duo: We won't be mad. Just tell the nice audience who really won.
Sage: Kiyone, we can take it from here.
Amy stops crying as the handcuffs are removed.
Amy: You guys do it.
Crystal: Yeah. You really wanted to anyway.
Duo: Ok. Sage: And the winner is. . . .
Duo: . . . . Ronin Warriors!
Samurai Heart music begins to play as everyone walks offstage.
Crystal: I'm so sorry. I had no idea Relena was controlling you. And to think I went along. . . .
Amy: Oh brother.
Crystal: What? What did I say?
Amy: I'm beginning to understand why they called you Miss Gullible in High School. Cut to a commercial.
COMMERCIAL Crystal: What's this door doing here?
She opens the door to find a room with only a beam across the roof.
Crystal: What the?
Duo is dancing in the middle of the floor.
Duo: Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who?
He continues dancing until he sees Crystal.
Duo: Hey babe, what's kicking?
Crystal tries to shock him, but nothing happens.
Crystal: My powers are gone!
Duo: Duh! But if you want them back, you must understand. . . .
He jumps up and hangs from the beam, upside down. He imitates Dais.
Duo: This is nearly an illusion that you must see through in order to. . . AHH!!
Duo falls off and lands on his head.
Duo: How does he do it? Crystal: Ok. . . .
She is slightly confused.
Crystal: So, what do I do?
Duo points to the door on the other side of the room.
Duo: Dude, just go through there.
Crystal: Dude?
Duo: Where's my car?
Duo rolls on the floor cracking up, while Crystal has a blank expression. She decides to leave and walk through the door.
Amy: Ok. How the heck did I get in here?
She hears Duo singing from behind the door.
Amy: DO YOU EVER STOP SINGING!!! Huh?
A fish with legs runs past. Kento stops when he sees Amy.
Kento: Yo, Amy. Wazzup?
Amy: The food bill. What are you doing here?
Kento gets this 'i-am-so-starving-that-i-am-hungry' face.
Kento: I wanna eat my dinner!
He points to the running fish.
Kento: But fish boy won't stop running. Besides, I'm just getting more hungry trying to catch him.
Amy: I'll freeze it for you.
She tries to freeze the fish, but nothing happens.
Amy: I lost them.
Kento: Drat. Come back here, fish boy!
He runs after the fish.
Amy: Fish boy? Fish boy! FISH BOY! KENTO STOP!!!
Kento stops just before he is about to bite the head off the fish he just caught.
Kento: What?
Amy: That's no fish!
She pulls off the fish costume.
Amy: That's Sai!
Sai: Thanks mate.
He looks at Kento before wacking him on the head.
Sai: Stop trying to bloody eat me! As for you, Amy. If you go through that door, you'll get your powers back.
Amy: K. See ya.
She walks through the door.
Sage: Where am I? And why do I smell like fish?
Sees ten people approaching. He recognizes them immediately.
Sage: Who cares! I'm in Sailor Heaven!
The ten people are the nine scouts plus a grown-up Rini. They are all in their Sailor Scout outfits. They approach Sage seductively.
Mars: Hey Sage. We've come to tell you something.
Mercury: Yes, it's very important.
Moon: Um, why are we here again?
Venus: To teach Sage a lesson.
Very naughty thoughts fill Sage's brain.
Sage: What kind of lesson?
Jupiter: Even though you look like my last boyfriend. . .
Pluto: It must be done for the rights of all women.
Neptune: For love. . .
Uranus: . . . and respect . . .
They all simultaneously pull out color-coded scissors.
Saturn: . . . We will cut your hair!
Sage: AHHH!!!
They start to advance on Sage.
Sage: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All Scouts: CUT HAIR!!! CUT HAIR!!! CUT HAIR!!!
They chant this as they chase Sage around in circles.
Sage: I'm sorry!!! I'M SORRY!!! I'll change my ways!!! I promise!!!
All Scouts: CUT HAIR!!! APOLOGIZE!!! CHANGE WAYS!!!
This chant continues as they continue to chase Sage. . . and gain ground.
Sage: Thank god, a door! I'm sorry! I'm gonna change! Anything but the hair!!
He sees a door opening.
Sage: Thank god! Thank you god!
He runs through the door.
Duo: Ok. I'm tired. I feel like I just ran the 500k or something. Huh?
He sees the girls that Tenchi hangs with standing around a cage that is being lowered into a flaming pit.
Ryoko: Haha! Ayeka, this is brilliant!
Ayeka: Why thank you. And thanks for loving me like a sister all these years. And maybe more. . . .
She laughs an annoying, high pitched laugh.
Duo: Again, huh?
Sasami: I'm still your sister, right Ayeka?
Washu: Of course. And the cage was designed by the incredibly brilliant Mihoshi! She even surpasses me in knowledge!
Duo: WHAT???
Mihoshi: Washu, your making me blush!
Kiyone: Yeah, Washu. Mihoshi is my partner.
She laughs in a silly way.
Kiyone: And not yours!
Duo: Ok. I'm not in Kansas anymore. What the heck is going on?
He see's what's in the cage.
Duo: Ack!
Tenchi, Yosho, and Tenchi's father are being held in the cage.
Tenchi: Listen, girls. I understand if you want to be. . . er. . . change. But killing us? Isn't that a little out of proportion???
Yosho: Hmm. . . . Tenchi, leave them be?
Tenchi: What??? How can you say that? We're about to die!
Tenchi's father: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!
Girls: SHUT UP!!!
Duo: No way. . . . They're all . . . .
He faints.
Crystal, Amy, Sage, and Duo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COMMERCIAL
Sage: Typo?
Amy: Dang it!
Duo: Huh?
Amy: Now I can't sue anybody! I guess I'll have to watch tv. . . .
Duo: Hey, can we–
Amy: Absolutely not.
Sage: Why not?
Amy: Because, if I let you watch it, then I would have to let everyone watch it.
Duo: But, but. . . .
Amy: No buts.
She jumps up to the rafters.
Sage: Aww, did she hurt your feelings because she didn't let you watch your tv show with the pink elephant?
Duo: I don't know what your talking about.
Sage: Yes you do. You still have that blanket with it on the front.
Duo: Why I outta. . . .
Amy: Get to the award. . . . my ice powers could use some targets. . . .
Sage: Fine.
Duo: As we had earlier. . . .
Sage: Pink elephant. . . .
Amy: Sage, better watch yourself. I have some blackmail on you. One more elephant phase from your mouth and I'll the audience about how you have all the episodes of that show on tape! Oh dear, did I say that out loud? Oops.
Everyone cracks up while Sage goes red, crosses his arms, and looks away.
Duo: Earlier, we had, the well, sicko version of couples mostly likely to be more than friends, so now we have the Most Likely to Be a Couple – the sane version. The nominees are
Heero and Relena
Ryo and Mia
Darian and Serena
Tenchi and Ryoko
Sage: The winner is. . . well, its says here that Ryo has too much of an attitude problem – not far from the truth, I'll admit – a lot can happen in the future and Jurians and Space Pirates will never work because of other Jurians getting in the way. . .so the winners are Heero and Relena. unfortunately, neither are here, so we'll mail them their trophies.
Duo: We'll be back!
COMMERCIAL
Duo is leaning against a wall and Sage is seated on a chair. Sage's head is nodding to the rhythm of his music. Duo puts his headphones on.
Duo: Hey Sage?
No response.
Duo: Oh well.
He stands up and starts to dance.
Duo: Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who?
His hands are moving in circles around his head. He then switches to an Egyptian-like dance.
Duo: Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who?
Sage opens one eye.
Sage: Sheesh, Duo. Grow up.
Duo sticks out his tongue and continues to dance. Sage rolls his eyes and nods his head to his "Beethoven's Sixth and other Classical Scores by Classical Composers" CD. Up in the rafters, Amy is listening to her boom box.
Amy: All you people, can't you see, can't you see? How your love's affecting our reality? Every time we're down, you can make it right, and that makes you larger than life.
She keeps singing as Crystal walks into the room.
Crystal: Amy? Amy? AMY!!
She turns off the boom box. Amy continues to sing off-key.
Amy: How your love's affecting our reality. HEY!! I was listening to that!
Crystal: Sorry, but we have to present.
Amy: Why can't the guys do it?
Crystal looks backstage.
Crystal: Duo is dancing and Sage is in the 'Musical Mood'.
Amy: Tell me about it. Quatre and Rowen went to a Britney Spears concert.
Crystal: I wonder. . . hey, did you get the mail today.
Amy: No, I thought you did.
Crystal: No. . . .
Amy and Crystal: THE BILLS!!!
Amy: I guess we have to present.
Crystal: Lets.
They jump on stage.
Amy: Hey, now its time we recognized those who put a lot of effort into that musical score that's behind all the action in our favorite shows.
Crystal: Right. So, the nominees for best musical score are
Gundam Wing
Ronin Warriors
Sailor Moon S
Dragon Ball Z
Digimon: Digital Monsters
Tenchi Universe
Inside the directors' heads. . . .
Crystal: This is really tough.
Amy: I think Digimon is out.
Crystal: Normally, I would kill you for that, but I have to agree.
Digimon: Digital Monsters
Crystal: And the Sailor Moon S should definitely go.
Amy: But the outer transformation. . . .
Crystal: . . . is the only good thing about it.
Amy: Point taken.
Sailor Moon S
Amy: And out with Tenchi.
Crystal: That's a shocker.
Amy: Yeah, well. . .
Crystal: Gone.
Tenchi Universe
Amy: Now what?
Crystal: Three way tie?
Amy: Can we do that?
Crystal: Are we directors or are we directors?
Outside the directors' heads.
Amy: Ladies and gentlemen. The voting squad couldn't decide, so there's a three way tie! The composers of Dragon Ball Z, Ronin Warriors, and Gundam Wing will be sent their awards by Wing Zero mail.
Duo and Sage run on stage.
Duo: Did I miss the award? Sage: My watch broke. Are we late?
Amy and Crystal: Yes.
They smile evilly.
COMMERCIAL
Duo: You mean we didn't get to present the award?
Sage: We missed it? I can't believe it! Why didn't you remind us?
Duo: Yeah, we really wanted to do the award!
Crystal: Umm. . . .
Amy: Er. . .
Kiyone lands on stage, crashing through the roof.
Duo: I think we should put a door there.
Kiyone: I can tell you why!
Crystal: Uh-oh.
Amy: You explain it to them and we'll go. . . take our break.
Crystal: Yeah. . . . good idea
They start to creep off.
Kiyone: Hold it right there!
They freeze in mid step.
Crystal: Huh?
Amy: You talking to us?
Kiyone: Yes! Mihoshi! Give me a hand!
They handcuff Amy and Crystal to the podium.
Duo: Huh?
Kiyone: Nobody is leaving this stage until one winner is declared.
Sage: Beg your pardon?
Kiyone: These two here allegedly announced a three way tie when actually the voting committee did decide a winner. They thought it be funny if they made a tie because they didn't want to get rid of some of the shows.
Duo: Your kidding!
Kiyone: No, I'm not. How do you plead. Amy? Crystal?
Crystal: Um. . . . er . . . . a funny thing hap – guilty as charged.
Sage: WHAT!?!
Kiyone: Amy?
Amy: I plead. . . plead. . . I plead for insanity! See, see, see, um, um, um. . . . see Relena. . . . yeah, Relena was sending me telepathic signals to get rid of Tenchi Universe and create a tie and threatened to kill me if I didn't and I was . . . . really, really, REALLY scared so I did it and now you treat me like a common criminal!
Everyone stares in shock as Amy begins to cry.
Kiyone: Ok. . . ok.
Kiyone shakes her head and Amy cries harder.
Kiyone: OK!! I believe you. Sheesh.
Duo: We won't be mad. Just tell the nice audience who really won.
Sage: Kiyone, we can take it from here.
Amy stops crying as the handcuffs are removed.
Amy: You guys do it.
Crystal: Yeah. You really wanted to anyway.
Duo: Ok. Sage: And the winner is. . . .
Duo: . . . . Ronin Warriors!
Samurai Heart music begins to play as everyone walks offstage.
Crystal: I'm so sorry. I had no idea Relena was controlling you. And to think I went along. . . .
Amy: Oh brother.
Crystal: What? What did I say?
Amy: I'm beginning to understand why they called you Miss Gullible in High School. Cut to a commercial.
COMMERCIAL Crystal: What's this door doing here?
She opens the door to find a room with only a beam across the roof.
Crystal: What the?
Duo is dancing in the middle of the floor.
Duo: Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who?
He continues dancing until he sees Crystal.
Duo: Hey babe, what's kicking?
Crystal tries to shock him, but nothing happens.
Crystal: My powers are gone!
Duo: Duh! But if you want them back, you must understand. . . .
He jumps up and hangs from the beam, upside down. He imitates Dais.
Duo: This is nearly an illusion that you must see through in order to. . . AHH!!
Duo falls off and lands on his head.
Duo: How does he do it? Crystal: Ok. . . .
She is slightly confused.
Crystal: So, what do I do?
Duo points to the door on the other side of the room.
Duo: Dude, just go through there.
Crystal: Dude?
Duo: Where's my car?
Duo rolls on the floor cracking up, while Crystal has a blank expression. She decides to leave and walk through the door.
Amy: Ok. How the heck did I get in here?
She hears Duo singing from behind the door.
Amy: DO YOU EVER STOP SINGING!!! Huh?
A fish with legs runs past. Kento stops when he sees Amy.
Kento: Yo, Amy. Wazzup?
Amy: The food bill. What are you doing here?
Kento gets this 'i-am-so-starving-that-i-am-hungry' face.
Kento: I wanna eat my dinner!
He points to the running fish.
Kento: But fish boy won't stop running. Besides, I'm just getting more hungry trying to catch him.
Amy: I'll freeze it for you.
She tries to freeze the fish, but nothing happens.
Amy: I lost them.
Kento: Drat. Come back here, fish boy!
He runs after the fish.
Amy: Fish boy? Fish boy! FISH BOY! KENTO STOP!!!
Kento stops just before he is about to bite the head off the fish he just caught.
Kento: What?
Amy: That's no fish!
She pulls off the fish costume.
Amy: That's Sai!
Sai: Thanks mate.
He looks at Kento before wacking him on the head.
Sai: Stop trying to bloody eat me! As for you, Amy. If you go through that door, you'll get your powers back.
Amy: K. See ya.
She walks through the door.
Sage: Where am I? And why do I smell like fish?
Sees ten people approaching. He recognizes them immediately.
Sage: Who cares! I'm in Sailor Heaven!
The ten people are the nine scouts plus a grown-up Rini. They are all in their Sailor Scout outfits. They approach Sage seductively.
Mars: Hey Sage. We've come to tell you something.
Mercury: Yes, it's very important.
Moon: Um, why are we here again?
Venus: To teach Sage a lesson.
Very naughty thoughts fill Sage's brain.
Sage: What kind of lesson?
Jupiter: Even though you look like my last boyfriend. . .
Pluto: It must be done for the rights of all women.
Neptune: For love. . .
Uranus: . . . and respect . . .
They all simultaneously pull out color-coded scissors.
Saturn: . . . We will cut your hair!
Sage: AHHH!!!
They start to advance on Sage.
Sage: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All Scouts: CUT HAIR!!! CUT HAIR!!! CUT HAIR!!!
They chant this as they chase Sage around in circles.
Sage: I'm sorry!!! I'M SORRY!!! I'll change my ways!!! I promise!!!
All Scouts: CUT HAIR!!! APOLOGIZE!!! CHANGE WAYS!!!
This chant continues as they continue to chase Sage. . . and gain ground.
Sage: Thank god, a door! I'm sorry! I'm gonna change! Anything but the hair!!
He sees a door opening.
Sage: Thank god! Thank you god!
He runs through the door.
Duo: Ok. I'm tired. I feel like I just ran the 500k or something. Huh?
He sees the girls that Tenchi hangs with standing around a cage that is being lowered into a flaming pit.
Ryoko: Haha! Ayeka, this is brilliant!
Ayeka: Why thank you. And thanks for loving me like a sister all these years. And maybe more. . . .
She laughs an annoying, high pitched laugh.
Duo: Again, huh?
Sasami: I'm still your sister, right Ayeka?
Washu: Of course. And the cage was designed by the incredibly brilliant Mihoshi! She even surpasses me in knowledge!
Duo: WHAT???
Mihoshi: Washu, your making me blush!
Kiyone: Yeah, Washu. Mihoshi is my partner.
She laughs in a silly way.
Kiyone: And not yours!
Duo: Ok. I'm not in Kansas anymore. What the heck is going on?
He see's what's in the cage.
Duo: Ack!
Tenchi, Yosho, and Tenchi's father are being held in the cage.
Tenchi: Listen, girls. I understand if you want to be. . . er. . . change. But killing us? Isn't that a little out of proportion???
Yosho: Hmm. . . . Tenchi, leave them be?
Tenchi: What??? How can you say that? We're about to die!
Tenchi's father: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!
Girls: SHUT UP!!!
Duo: No way. . . . They're all . . . .
He faints.
Crystal, Amy, Sage, and Duo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COMMERCIAL
