Thanks for the reviews that have come in so far. A lot of points that were made were valid and worthy of consideration. I know that some of the dialogue might be a little on the rough side, but remember, this is only the pilot. Suggestions for casting are always welcome as well, like Drew Barrymore to play Sally was a good choice, although I don't know how willing she would be to do television. Alicia Silverstone would be good as well as I thought of her the other day. As I was watching 'Happy Family' the other night I thought of another one that I think would be just perfect – Jamie Pressley.

So, now that we have come back from commercial…

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It took Charlie Brown about 45 minutes to get down to 'White's Funeral Home', and he used that time to figure out exactly what he was going to say to his old friend. He had been going over in his mind as to what Alex would say to him, and he had come up with a few counterpoints himself. Charlie Brown was all set to persuade Alex to see things his way when he opened the door to the funeral parlor…

…and stepped onto the backlot of 'The Little Mermaid.'

Charlie Brown could not believe his eyes. Everywhere you looked there was some cvitchy object that looked like it was a refugee from a nautical yard sale. There were fisherman's nets hung up in one corner, all sorts of plaques depicting mermaids on the walls, and several steering wheels from boats lined up all over the place. Charlie Brown thought he was in some kind of nightmare, when he got his wake-up call.

"Avast there me matey!" It was none other than Cornelius White, the old man himself addressing him in full sailor's gear. Assuming that his rank was Admiral of course. Mr. White started walking over to the visitor who was standing on his bridge. "Seems we has a landlubber aboard. States ye business and be quick about it!"

Was it Charlie Brown's imagination or was he trying to sound and look just like Popeye?

"Uh, Mr. White, it's me, Charlie Brown. I wanted to talk to Alex about…"

"Brown, Brown, Brown, Brown, ah yes, we has a Brown here. Barber by trade, was called down to Davey Jones Locker."

"Yeeeeah. Well anyway…"

"I take it you've come to see your father then son. Wantin to talk about his final resting place." He put his arm around Charlie Brown. "Well fret not me boyo, I know just the thing that you be wanten." He then started to speak in his normal voice. "Well what do you think?"

There were so many thoughts going through Charlie Brown's mind at this point that he didn't really know what to think first. That this man was a lunatic, that Linus and Lucy were right, that he should get out of here before he was made to walk the plank.

"What do I think?"

"About the gimmick? You think maybe the voice is a little too much? I always thought it gave me that 'Old Salt of the Sea' edge, but everybody says that I sound more like Long John Silver."

Charlie Brown decided that if he was going to get anywhere he was going to have to play along – at least for now.

"No, no, it works it really does."

"Really? Oh that's a relief, I wouldn't want everyone to think that I had gone crazy you know, that the old man's lost it."

Charlie Brown smiled, "Oh no, I'm sure nobody thinks that."

"Well I'm sure that some people do, but that's all right. They'll all come around to my line of thinking, you'll see. Now what can I do for you young Master Brown?"

He hadn't been called "Master Brown' since he was 12! Oh well…

"Actually it's about my fath…" he got out before he tripped over a rowboat.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa are you all right there young man?"

"I'm fine thanks."

"I keep telling those swabs to clear these decks. I'LL KEELHAUL THE LOT OF YA FOR INSUBORDINATION!!! Now, you were saying?"

"Maybe this is a bad time…"

"Oh no, no, no, no come now there's no time like the present. Out with it. You wish to discuss your father's disposal I take it?"

Finally, now the old man was getting lucid again. "Yes, yes I do. I'd like to discuss my father's…disposal."

"Well, why didn't you say so? Come on, let's sit down and talk business." The old man went behind his desk and sat down. "Please, sit."

The only thing he could sit on was a short canvas deck chair that looked as if it had salvaged from the Titanic. Oh well, when in Rome …

"I wanted to uh.." he had to shift in his seat to try to get comfortable. "I wanted to talk about (shift) his uh (shift) uhgh (shift) I (shift) I (shift back) guh (shift, oh what's the use) he wanted to be cremated."

"Yes I heard, a Viking Funeral, I think it's a marvelous idea!!!"

"You do?"

"Well of course, it would be a perfect opening to the new section of the water park dedicated to our Viking Heritage. I plan on calling it Vallhallaland."

"Catchy."

"Oh, but where are my manners? You're not properly dressed in the attire befitting a gentleman of your station!"

He reached under his desk and pulled out an 18th Century Admiral's Hat that was three sizes too big and put it on Charlie Brown's head. It promptly fell over his eyes.

"Now, how do you wish to proceed Commodore?"

"Sigh"

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There had been no word from Charlie Brown since he had left, and the others were getting worried. Lucy looked out the window again. "It's been over four hours, where is that blockhead?"

Sally finished off another chicken wing. "Relax, I'm sure he's fine. He and Alex are probably talking about baseball, as usual."

Linus corrected her: "Sal, you know he doesn't like to talk much baseball anymore except when he's doing his show."

"Well maybe they went out someplace to catch up. It's been a few years since they saw each other you know."

Lucy got in a word: "When was the last time they saw each other?"

Linus answered: "Not since Mrs. Brown's funeral." Just then Linus' cell phone rang. "Hello, Alex hey how ya doin'? Is Charlie Brown with you? Really? Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uhhh huuuuh. Really? Oooook, listen buddy if you see him tell him that we're looking for him ok? Ok, thanks Al…what? No, no I haven't gotten the subscription packet for the 'Atlantis Hotel and Kelp Lounge'. Yeah I'll be sure to look for it in the mailbox. Yeah I'm sure that the Minnow Package is very exciting. Ok, ok, thanks little buddy." He hung up the phone quickly.

Lucy asked him "Great, so now what?"

Linus got up to get his coat "I'm gonna go look for him. Sally you'd better stay here in case he shows up. If he does, I've got my cell phone with me."

Lucy got her coat on. "I'm going with you."

"No I'm going to need you next door in case he calls our house."

"Sally will be able to here it from over here, right Sal?"

Sally answered: "Oh sure, just give me a minute to adjust my bionic ear to the right frequency and I'll be able to hear a dog whistle."

Linus turned back to Lucy "Look I don't need to be worrying about you wandering out there in the dark too."

Lucy furrowed her brow "Oh please, I've got a stun gun, pepper spray and PMS. Who's going to mess with me? Look Linus, he's my friend too. He was there for us when Mom and Dad both died. Now it's our turn to be there for him, ok?"

"You know Lucy, there are times when you are actually a sweetheart."

"I know, but don't let it get around will you? I have a reputation to protect."

Just then Charlie Brown walked in the door…with a glazed look on his face. He closed the door behind him, took his coat off and reached out to hang it on the coat rack. He didn't even notice that he had missed the peg and the coat fell to the floor as he moved towards the kitchen.

Linus stopped him: "Charlie Brown?"

"Mmm?"

"Are you all right?"

"Mmm-mm." Charlie Brown kept walking into the kitchen. Linus, Lucy and Sally followed him in.

Lucy tried to get him to talk: "Charlie Brown, what happened? Alex called, he said he never saw you. Where were you?"

Sally spoke up: "Yeah big brother, we were all worried sick." Linus and Lucy both looked at her. "What?"

Charlie Brown spoke: "I was at the Funeral Home."

They all gasped. Lucy said "Oh no!"

"Oh yes!"

Linus said: "Just tell us you didn't run into old man White!"

"I did not run into old man White."

They all breathed a sigh of relief "Oh thank God!"

"Only I did."

"WHAT?!?" Sally: "You just said that you didn't run into old man White!"

"Hey, he asked me not to!"

Linus asked what should not have been asked: "So, how was it?"

"It was incredible. Incredible I tell you. I walk into the door of the funeral parlor and all of a sudden I find myself on the backlot of 'Pirates of the Carrebian'. I half expected Johnny Depp to come out as Jack Sparrow welcoming me to his nightmare. Did we find the key to the liquor cabinet yet?" he asked as he walked back into the living room with his friends following him.

Lucy reminded him "Charlie Brown, you don't drink."

:Hey listen, if you spent the last two and a half hours listening to his plans to raise the Titanic to use it as a decoration for his life-size pleasure aquarium then you would start drinking too." He sat down on the couch with his head in his right hand, rubbing his forehead.

Linus spoke up "Is this the part where we get to say we tol…" The girls elbowed him in the stomach.

"I've got a problem. My father wanted to be cremated, but the way he wants to do it is illegal. I mean I can't go and fulfill his last wish without risking getting caught. But on the other hand, I can't trust old man White not to turn around and encase his remains in his giant statue of King Neptune."

Linus sat down next to his friend "Don't worry pal, we'll figure something out."

Lucy: "Somehow we'll be able to get all of your dad's friends there for the funeral."

SallY: "And if the worst thing happened you'd be able to pass around the hat for bail money."

Everybody looked at Sally.

"What, its only funny when he does it?"

Charlie Brown said "You kind of have to pick your moments".

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The next night, Charlie Brown and Linus went out to Lake Wagisagiwa with a can of kerosene, a box of matches…and an empty boat. Charlie Brown asked "Are you sure about this?"

Linus answered "Sure I'm sure. We practice doing this with an empty boat. We choose a secluded spot to set it adrift and light it up. If nobody spots us or the boat then we know we have the right spot. Then we can tell a few of your dad's closest friends about it, swear them to secrecy, come back here tomorrow night and do it for real. Simple."

"Linus I just don't feel right sneaking around like this" said Charlie Brown as he pushed the boat towards the lake. "Besides, what if the trees catch on fire?"

"If we shove the boat out into the water far enough then it won't even come near the trees. I'm telling you, nothing could possibly go wrong."

As if on cue, a police siren sounded and flashing blue and red lights appeared behind them. After a pause to assess what had just happened, Charlie Brown spoke. "Linus…if we ever…do something this crazy… and if you ever ask me…what could possibly go wrong,…I am going to kill you."

The officer shone a light on them "All right, just what do you two idiots think you are doing here?" The boys turned around with their hands in the air. Charlie Brown began to say "Well we were just…" but Linus cut him off. "We were just looking for recyclables officer. You know, paper, wood, aluminum. Just trying to do our part to keep the environment clean."

The officer took a closer look at them. "Linus?"

Charlie Brown recognized his former First Baseman. "Shermy?"

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A couple of hours later, there were a lot of people milling around the clearing that Charlie Brown and Linus had been caught. Shermy was trying to get the whole story…

"Ok let me get this straight, you guys were going to rehearse a Viking Funeral on an empty boat to make sure that you weren't seen, then come back here tomorrow night to try to do it for real?"

Linus tried to spin it, sort of. "Well yeah, but it's not as bad as it sounds."

"How bad do you think it sounds?"

"With time off for good behavior I'd say about 18 – 24 months."

Shermy had to laugh, "Guys I don't know what you were so worried about. A Viking Funeral is perfectly legal in Pinetree Corners."

Charlie Brown couldn't believe his ears. "Come again?"

Shermy continued: "Yeah, you guys forget that this town and the county were formed by Scandinavians. When the town was formed they wanted to preserve part of their Viking heritage. So they wrote it into the town charter that Viking Funerals were a perfectly legal form of disposing of a dead body. So you guys had nothing to worry about."

Charlie Brown and Linus looked at each other in amazement. Charlie Brown said "Boy, that's a relief; I thought that we would have to do some jail time or pay a fine for even trying this."

Shermy said "Oh now you guys are going to jail. I mean you did steal a boat, that's Grand Theft Watercraft." He let this go for a minute before he told them "Gottcha." Shermy then walked away to take care of a few more details.

Linus put his arm around Charlie Brown "Well buddy, it looks like Tom gets to have his last wish after all. And look, most if not all of his friends are here to say goodbye. So it looks like you both get what you wanted."

Charlie Brown could only manage a weak "Yeah."

"You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I'm fine."

Lucy walked up to the boys with Sally. "Hey guys, they're just about ready."

Linus turned to his friend "OK, you ready for this?"

Charlie Brown looked at all of them. "Guys, could you give me a minute?"

"Sure, sure."

"Thanks." Charlie Brown walked off to be by himself for a while.

Linus turned back to the girls. "Well shall we go and pay our last respects?"

Lucy said "Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up in a minute."

Linus agreed. "Ok. Sally, you ready to do this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Thanks for being here with me Linus. It makes it easier knowing that I'll be going through this with my sweet baaboo" and then Sally walked towards the gathering. Linus hung his head and as he followed her he said "I am not your sweet baaboo!"

Lucy went over to where Charlie Brown stood, looking out at the water. :You ok?"

"This is real isn't it Luc? He's really gone, isn't he?"

"Yeah."

Charlie Brown took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Who's going to take care of me now?"

"Is that what's been bothering you? You've been afraid that because your father is gone that you'll have no one to look after you? Look around, there's a town full of people here who want to take care of you now. And they'll do it gladly because your dad took care of them for so many years. It's their way of paying him back."

"I just wish I could have said goodbye."

"Are you sure that's all you want?"

Charlie Brown had to fight back tears at this point as he finally told his friend what he really wanted most of all. "I want to come home."

"I thought so."

"I can't do this alone Lucy…"

"You don't have to. I'm here, Linus is here, Sally is here. You know your father said something to you and Linus a long time ago. Back when he made Linus his partner. Do you remember what it was?"

"You don't have to be blood to be family."

"Right."

"Thanks doc."

"No problem." Lucy paused for a few seconds before thinking of the last thing she should say. Even though she was a board certified psychiatrist now, she just couldn't resist this little dig. She put out her hand and said "Five cents, please."

Charlie Brown had to smile at the memories that just brought back. He looked at her and said the one thing he had wanted to say to her all those years ago. "Put it on my tab."

The two friends smiled and laughed at each other. It felt good. They needed that.

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