Duo: Ok, that was very weird.
Sage: No kidding.
Duo: So. . . . how do we find them?
Sage: Not sure. . . .
Duo: Ok. . . . .
Sage: You've got an idea?
Duo: No, you?
Sage: Still thinking.
Voice: I have one.
Sage: Did you say something, Duo?
Duo: No. . . . did you?
Sage: No . . . .
Voice: I'm right here.
They turn around to see Heero walking towards them, completely healed.
Heero: Thank you. I have an idea of how to find them.
Duo acts overly concerned.
Duo: Oh, hi Heero. Out of the hospital? Great to see ya! No card, no note, you didn't even sign out! What if you gotten hurt? I had no idea if you were ok. . .
Sage: Shut up.
Heero: You sound like Relena.
Duo: Perish the thought.
Sage: You said you had an idea?
Heero: A matter transporter.
Duo: Let's go!
Voice: Hold it, Heero. Aren't you going to tell them the risks?
Duo and Sage turn to see a man walking towards them. He is looking very sternly at Heero.
Heero: Stay out of this, Zechs.
Zechs: No way. I missed out last time. I'm not missing out again.
Heero: Hmmm. . . .
Zechs: What did he say?
Duo: I think that was Heeronese for fine, follow me.
Heero: One of these days, Duo, one of these days.
In a cell far, far, away . . . .
Crystal: Will you stop sneezing!
Amy's cold has gotten worse, she sounds congested.
Amy: I can't! ACHOO!!! I'm sick – ACHOO!!! – remember? Crystal: Still?
Amy: I can't! ACHOO!!!
Crystal: Never mind. Besides, this isn't so bad.
Amy jumps on top of a bed in the cell.
Amy: ACHOO!!! RATS!!! ACHOO!!!
Crystal: Huh?
Something furry rubs against her leg. She jumps onto the other bed.
Crystal: AHH!!! A STUART!!! Me and my big mouth. . . .
In the secret, evil lair of the unknown villain. . . .
Kiyone: I did as you said, sir! No mistakes, sir!
Evil Person: Good job, man.
Kiyone: What next, sir?
Evil Person: We'll see. . . hehehe. . . . we'll see.
Kiyone: Sir!
She stands in salute. Evil Person looks at her strangely.
Evil Person: Don't have a cow, man. Go away!
COMMERCIAL
Amy: ACHOO!!! I can't seem to stop – ACHOO!!! – sneezing. . .
Crystal: It's driving me insane!
Amy: Can I – ACHOO!!! – help it? NO! I hate this!
Crystal: Sorry. Where did that yucky mouse go?
Amy: I dunno. . . ACHOO!!! I thought it was kinda cute. . .
Crystal: What? You're kidding, right? Amy: No. . . hey, you're the one who gave it a name, remember? So, I'm not the only – ACHOO!!! – weirdo.
Crystal: Oh, that. . . well. . . um. . .
Amy: Forget it. The only thing we should worry – ACHOO!!! – about is where we are. . .
Crystal: Right, and how to get home.
Amy: Yep.
Crystal: Let's go then!
Amy: Wait! I can't leave without my Kleenex and trash can!
Crystal shakes her head in frustration as Amy puts the box under one arm and the trash can under the other.
Back on stage. . .
Heero: . . . and that's how the matter transporter works.
Duo: Huh?
Sage: Sounds kind of dangerous.
Heero: Not really . . .
Zechs glares at Heero evilly.
Heero: All right. It's not dangerous except for. . .
Duo: I knew there was a but. There's always a but!
Sage: Nothing's perfect.
Zechs: Go on, Heero.
Heero: Hmmm. . . well, if we're not careful, we can get stuck in another dimension.
Duo: What do you mean, not careful?
Zechs: He means that you just can' t teleport anywhere and search for your friends. You have to know what your facing so you have an idea where to look. If you waste time in a random place, your friends could die or the dimension door could close forever. Sage: Ok. . . can you say that again?
Heero: Sure. . . 3 words: TIME IS IMPORTANT!
Sage: Ok. . geez. . . no wonder you don't have many friends. . . . er. . . uh, never mind. . .
Duo: So. . . where do we begin? You said you had an idea.
Heero: Hmm. . . well I didn't say I totally had a n idea, but the machine requires something of what your looking for in order to narrow your search to a 100-mile radius. . . So I figured one of you had something of theirs.
Everyone looks at Sage.
Sage: What? I don't have anything. . . honest. . .
Duo: Why would we have anything of theirs, anyway? Now what?
Heero: Hmm. . .
Heero begins to walk away.
Zechs: Huh?
Duo: Where do you think you're going?
Heero: To find something of theirs.
He points to the rafters.
Duo: Up there? Yes! An excuse to go up there! Let's go!
Sage: Wait! I think Zechs has something. . .
Duo: What did he find?
Everyone crowds around Zechs and looks at he closed hand.
Zechs: I found these in the crack of the stage.
He opens his hand.
Sage: It's Amy and Crystal's Director Power up wands!
Duo: Great! Heero, will these work? Heero: It might, but this means that wherever they are, they're defenseless. . .
Sage: Just peachy. . .
Back in the place outside the cell that's far, far away. . .
Amy sits on the ground, exhausted.
Amy: All this walking – ACHOO!!! – isn't getting us anywhere.
Crystal joins her.
Crystal: Yeah, for miles and miles, there's nothing but sand. . . and this sun is too hot. . .what happened to that comfy bed?
Amy: I wish I knew. . . probably a mile from where we're sitting. I wonder if the guys are nearby?
Crystal: Yeah, where are they? I wanna go home. . . um. . . Amy?
Amy looks at Crystal who looks worried.
Amy: ACHOO!!! What?
Crystal: Don't look down.
Amy: Why?
Crystal: Just don't.
Amy looks down.
Amy: Uh, Crystal. . .
Crystal: Yeah?
Amy: I just looked. . .
Amy and Crystal begin to fall. . .
Amy: . . . doooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
Amy and Crystal: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crystal: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore! Amy: We were in Kansas???
Crystal: LOOK!!!
Amy: A light at the end of the tunnel!
Crystal: My money's on a hard landing!
Amy: AHHH– um, we stopped. . .
Crystal: An inch from the ground!
Amy: And we're alive. . . and. . . ahaha. . . that's such a good – ACHOO!!! – look on you! Open your eyes!
Crystal: By the way your laughing, I don't think I want to.
Amy: Oh come on! Fine then! Can I have my trash can and Kleenex back? ACHOO!!! I need to blow my nose.
Crystal: What? I don't have your trash can or your . . .
Crystal opens her eyes.
Crystal: AH! Why is it so dark in here?
Amy: Well, if you would ever so kindly remove your foot from my Kleenex box and take my trash can off your head, you might be able to see!
Crystal: Oh. . .
Removes the Kleenex box from her foot and takes the trash can off her head. She then removes the dirty Kleenex from her hair.
Crystal: Eww. . . now I'll get sick for sure . . .
Amy: Great, now that that's taken care of, where are we? I've got this sinking feeling we're being watched. . .
Crystal: I don't know about being watched, but we're in a maze of some sort. .
In the secret, evil lair of the unknown villain. . . .
Kiyone: Mission accomplished, sir. They're in the maze of horrors, sir. Evil Person: Good, good.
Kiyone: And I'm guessing you have plans for them, sir?
Evil Person: Of course. They will eventually come here, but first I thought we could have some fun with them. . . hehehe. . .
Kiyone: Excellent, sir. But why do you look so sad?
Evil Person: That Yuy kid and his Scooby gang bother me. They're figuring out everything too fast!
Kiyone: What do we do?
Evil Person: Duh, we send someone out to delay them!
Kiyone: Me?
Evil Person: You've done plenty. I have the perfect man for the job. Bwahahahahaha!!!
COMMERCIAL
Part Seven
Duo: Ok. So we just stand on these white circles?
Heero: Yes.
Sage: We just stand here?
Zechs: That's what he said.
Heero: I can handle this mission by myself.
Zechs: Cannot!
Heero: Can to!
Zechs: Cannot!
Heero: Can to!
Sage: Do they always fight like this?
Duo sighs and nods his head. He then yells above the voices of the arguing soldiers.
Duo: STOP FIGHTING!!! Thank you. We have girls to save, ya know.
Zechs: Girls?
Heero: Dorothy.
Zechs: WHAT??? Dorothy? Why would you save her? She nearly killed your girlfriend.
Heero: Relena's not my girlfriend!
Zechs: You deny it because it's true!
Heero: It's not!
Zechs: It is!
Heero: It's not!
Zechs: It is!
Duo: GUYS!!!! CAN WE GET GOING!!! Zechs and Heero: Hmph.
Everyone stands on a white circle.
Heero: Here we go.
He pushes the button and they disappear.
Sage: Where are we?
The lights flicker on.
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COMMERCIAL
A fat, yellow man is sleeping on a red sofa, snoring loudly.
Duo: He does exist!
Sage: I thought he was a paper and pencil comedy myth. I didn't think the guy was real and spent his free time sleeping in front of the tv!
The man mutters in a dreamlike state.
Man: Bbs. . . . . Butterfingers. . . . . must have. . . . .
Heero angrily whispers to everyone.
Heero: Shh. . . would you guys keep it down, you'll wake him up like you almost did screaming your heads off. . .
Zechs looks at him angrily before retorting in a whisper.
Zechs: Well, excuse me, Heero. You were screaming just as loud as the rest of us!
Heero: Well, hey, I don't need you tagging along if your going to criticize me every five minutes!
Zechs: Just stating a fact. . .
Heero: Hmmm. . . .
Duo, sick and tired of the arguing, yells at them.
Duo: WOULD YOU TWO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP FIGHTING! Sage: Uh-oh. . . . I think you did it this time, Duo!
The man stops snoring and his eyes slowly open.
Man: Uh. . . .
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He jumps behind the red sofa. Everyone else is stunned at his cowardice. From his 'hiding spot', the man pulls out a mini computer.
Man: Bart! Come in! I need help! What am I supposed to do???
Bart: Duh, Homer. Don't have a cow. Look at the script!
Duo: What's he doing?
Zechs: Why don't you go see for yourself?
Duo: No way!
Homer: Oh yeah!
He pulls out a script and flips to the current scene.
Homer: Hmm. . . Let's see. I'm supposed to duck under the couch. Ducking, ducking. Now, what? I gotta face them? EEK! Bb master, please, help me!
Bart: Come on, Homer. Do what the script says.
Homer: D'oh!
Bart: Fine. I'll make you a deal. Bring me the four of them and I'll. . . .
Homer: But. . . .but. . . the brown haired spandex one and the whitish- haired tall guy scare me!
Bart: Hear me out before you interrupt! If you capture them, I'll. . . I'll give you a bag of Butterfinger Bb's. Ok?
Homer: Bb's?
He goes into a zombie like state. Homer: Bb's. . . . must get Bb's. . . .
He starts walking toward them.
Sage: He's heading this way!
Duo: Great! How do we stall him until we can get out of here?
Heero: Hmmm. . .
Zechs: Any ideas, Heero?
Heero: Hmmm. . .
Duo: We're all gonna die!!
Sage: Shut-up.
Zechs: Stop saying 'hmm' and tell us what you're thinking before pudgy there zombie-struts over here. . .
Heero: I can't think of anything!
Zechs: Maybe you're just losing your touch. . .
Heero: Hmmm . . .
Sage: Maybe. . . we. . . we could throw him some of this food to occupy him. . . while someone can come up with a way out of here. . .
Duo: Sounds good to me.
He picks up a chicken leg.
Duo: Here, Homer. Would like some nice, juicy, crispy, chicken?
He throws the leg and a wing at him.
Duo: Take that! Now, Heero. How can we get out of here?
Heero: Hmmm. . .
He pulls out a small laptop.
Heero: Give me five minutes and I think I can work something out. In the meantime, keep Homer busy and try getting some information out of him.
Sage: Ok. Duo, hand me some of that chicken quick. He's finished what you gave him!
Duo: Hey, gee wiz! He's hungry. It's like he's eating for an entire family!
He throws him some more chicken.
Sage: Ok. While he's temporarily occupied. . . let's try questioning him.
Zechs: Right. Ok, tell us what we want to know. Just give us the basic information. Who is behind all of this?
Homer: Munch. . . . . munch. . . . munch
Zechs: Where are Amy and Crystal?
Homer: Munch. . . . . munch. . . . munch
Zechs: Answer me!
He tries to rip the chicken away from Homer.
Zechs: Ow! He bit my hand! It's going to be impossible to get anything out of him.
Sage: Uh, Duo.
Homer: Bb's. . . .
Sage: He's out of chicken.
Duo: Then we have a problem.
Heero: Why?
Duo: Cuz we're out of chicken!
Zechs: What???
Sage: Well, think of something, fast! Here he comes!
Duo: Sage, Zechs, grab some ammo!
He points to bowls of pretzels and chips, while he grabs a bowl of Cheetos.
Duo: Throw!
Zechs: Heero, how much longer!
Heero: Almost. . . . just a little longer. . . .
Zechs: Hurry up! We're running out of food!
Heero: Well, you can't exactly rush this!
Zechs: Well, hurry up!
Duo: Guys. . . .
Sage: What?
Duo: We are totally OUT OF FOOD!!!
Sage: Is he a bottomless pit or what?? What are we gonna do? Heero. . . .
Heero: Two more minutes. . .
Duo: Two more minutes??? And how are we gonna hold him off for two more minutes??? HUH???? With what???
Zechs: Stop complaining and arm yourself with . . . .
Heero: Done.
Sage: How will we keep him from crossing through the doorway?
Zechs: I'll stay and stop him.
Duo: And how do you plan on doing that?
Zechs: I'll think of something! Just go!
Heero: You heard him. Let's go!
Zechs: See you on the other side.
Back on stage. . .
Boys: AHHHH!!!!
They land on the floor with a thud.
Duo: Hi everyone. . . . owww . . . .
Sage: He's worse than Kento!
Heero: Well, it's over for now. So let's close the portal.
Sage: But what about. . . er. . .
Heero gives him a glare.
Heero: What's done is done. . . . huh? Someone is coming through!
Duo: Better not be Homer!
Zechs: AHHH!!!! Owww. . . That was some adventure. Thanks for not closing the portal on me, Heero.
Heero: Back to the drawling board.
Duo: Huh?
Heero: My guess is that whoever is behind this cracked the frequency on the mass transporter and sent us purposely out of the target range area.
Duo: Huh, how do you know that?
Zechs: He's right. The machine shows us 103 miles away from the target range of 100 miles, so we were 203 miles away.
Sage: That's bad . . . .
In the secret, evil lair of the now known villain. . . .
Bart: Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
Homer: Bb's?
Bart: What? Ha! Of course you can. . . the bag is on that table over there!
Homer: Bb's!!!
He runs to the table and picks up the bag and holds it above his opened mouth. Nothing falls out.
Homer: What? It's empty!
Bart: Duh, nobody lays a finger on my Butterfinger Bb's.
Homer: NO!!!
He runs out of the room to find some donuts.
Bart: Dismissed? Kiyone!
Kiyone: Yes, sir?
Bart: Your thoughts?
Kiyone: They're farther away?
Bart: It's so hard to find good help these days. . .
Kiyone: Now what?
Bart: Don't worry, the fun is just beginning.
COMMERCIAL
Sage: No kidding.
Duo: So. . . . how do we find them?
Sage: Not sure. . . .
Duo: Ok. . . . .
Sage: You've got an idea?
Duo: No, you?
Sage: Still thinking.
Voice: I have one.
Sage: Did you say something, Duo?
Duo: No. . . . did you?
Sage: No . . . .
Voice: I'm right here.
They turn around to see Heero walking towards them, completely healed.
Heero: Thank you. I have an idea of how to find them.
Duo acts overly concerned.
Duo: Oh, hi Heero. Out of the hospital? Great to see ya! No card, no note, you didn't even sign out! What if you gotten hurt? I had no idea if you were ok. . .
Sage: Shut up.
Heero: You sound like Relena.
Duo: Perish the thought.
Sage: You said you had an idea?
Heero: A matter transporter.
Duo: Let's go!
Voice: Hold it, Heero. Aren't you going to tell them the risks?
Duo and Sage turn to see a man walking towards them. He is looking very sternly at Heero.
Heero: Stay out of this, Zechs.
Zechs: No way. I missed out last time. I'm not missing out again.
Heero: Hmmm. . . .
Zechs: What did he say?
Duo: I think that was Heeronese for fine, follow me.
Heero: One of these days, Duo, one of these days.
In a cell far, far, away . . . .
Crystal: Will you stop sneezing!
Amy's cold has gotten worse, she sounds congested.
Amy: I can't! ACHOO!!! I'm sick – ACHOO!!! – remember? Crystal: Still?
Amy: I can't! ACHOO!!!
Crystal: Never mind. Besides, this isn't so bad.
Amy jumps on top of a bed in the cell.
Amy: ACHOO!!! RATS!!! ACHOO!!!
Crystal: Huh?
Something furry rubs against her leg. She jumps onto the other bed.
Crystal: AHH!!! A STUART!!! Me and my big mouth. . . .
In the secret, evil lair of the unknown villain. . . .
Kiyone: I did as you said, sir! No mistakes, sir!
Evil Person: Good job, man.
Kiyone: What next, sir?
Evil Person: We'll see. . . hehehe. . . . we'll see.
Kiyone: Sir!
She stands in salute. Evil Person looks at her strangely.
Evil Person: Don't have a cow, man. Go away!
COMMERCIAL
Amy: ACHOO!!! I can't seem to stop – ACHOO!!! – sneezing. . .
Crystal: It's driving me insane!
Amy: Can I – ACHOO!!! – help it? NO! I hate this!
Crystal: Sorry. Where did that yucky mouse go?
Amy: I dunno. . . ACHOO!!! I thought it was kinda cute. . .
Crystal: What? You're kidding, right? Amy: No. . . hey, you're the one who gave it a name, remember? So, I'm not the only – ACHOO!!! – weirdo.
Crystal: Oh, that. . . well. . . um. . .
Amy: Forget it. The only thing we should worry – ACHOO!!! – about is where we are. . .
Crystal: Right, and how to get home.
Amy: Yep.
Crystal: Let's go then!
Amy: Wait! I can't leave without my Kleenex and trash can!
Crystal shakes her head in frustration as Amy puts the box under one arm and the trash can under the other.
Back on stage. . .
Heero: . . . and that's how the matter transporter works.
Duo: Huh?
Sage: Sounds kind of dangerous.
Heero: Not really . . .
Zechs glares at Heero evilly.
Heero: All right. It's not dangerous except for. . .
Duo: I knew there was a but. There's always a but!
Sage: Nothing's perfect.
Zechs: Go on, Heero.
Heero: Hmmm. . . well, if we're not careful, we can get stuck in another dimension.
Duo: What do you mean, not careful?
Zechs: He means that you just can' t teleport anywhere and search for your friends. You have to know what your facing so you have an idea where to look. If you waste time in a random place, your friends could die or the dimension door could close forever. Sage: Ok. . . can you say that again?
Heero: Sure. . . 3 words: TIME IS IMPORTANT!
Sage: Ok. . geez. . . no wonder you don't have many friends. . . . er. . . uh, never mind. . .
Duo: So. . . where do we begin? You said you had an idea.
Heero: Hmm. . . well I didn't say I totally had a n idea, but the machine requires something of what your looking for in order to narrow your search to a 100-mile radius. . . So I figured one of you had something of theirs.
Everyone looks at Sage.
Sage: What? I don't have anything. . . honest. . .
Duo: Why would we have anything of theirs, anyway? Now what?
Heero: Hmm. . .
Heero begins to walk away.
Zechs: Huh?
Duo: Where do you think you're going?
Heero: To find something of theirs.
He points to the rafters.
Duo: Up there? Yes! An excuse to go up there! Let's go!
Sage: Wait! I think Zechs has something. . .
Duo: What did he find?
Everyone crowds around Zechs and looks at he closed hand.
Zechs: I found these in the crack of the stage.
He opens his hand.
Sage: It's Amy and Crystal's Director Power up wands!
Duo: Great! Heero, will these work? Heero: It might, but this means that wherever they are, they're defenseless. . .
Sage: Just peachy. . .
Back in the place outside the cell that's far, far away. . .
Amy sits on the ground, exhausted.
Amy: All this walking – ACHOO!!! – isn't getting us anywhere.
Crystal joins her.
Crystal: Yeah, for miles and miles, there's nothing but sand. . . and this sun is too hot. . .what happened to that comfy bed?
Amy: I wish I knew. . . probably a mile from where we're sitting. I wonder if the guys are nearby?
Crystal: Yeah, where are they? I wanna go home. . . um. . . Amy?
Amy looks at Crystal who looks worried.
Amy: ACHOO!!! What?
Crystal: Don't look down.
Amy: Why?
Crystal: Just don't.
Amy looks down.
Amy: Uh, Crystal. . .
Crystal: Yeah?
Amy: I just looked. . .
Amy and Crystal begin to fall. . .
Amy: . . . doooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
Amy and Crystal: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crystal: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore! Amy: We were in Kansas???
Crystal: LOOK!!!
Amy: A light at the end of the tunnel!
Crystal: My money's on a hard landing!
Amy: AHHH– um, we stopped. . .
Crystal: An inch from the ground!
Amy: And we're alive. . . and. . . ahaha. . . that's such a good – ACHOO!!! – look on you! Open your eyes!
Crystal: By the way your laughing, I don't think I want to.
Amy: Oh come on! Fine then! Can I have my trash can and Kleenex back? ACHOO!!! I need to blow my nose.
Crystal: What? I don't have your trash can or your . . .
Crystal opens her eyes.
Crystal: AH! Why is it so dark in here?
Amy: Well, if you would ever so kindly remove your foot from my Kleenex box and take my trash can off your head, you might be able to see!
Crystal: Oh. . .
Removes the Kleenex box from her foot and takes the trash can off her head. She then removes the dirty Kleenex from her hair.
Crystal: Eww. . . now I'll get sick for sure . . .
Amy: Great, now that that's taken care of, where are we? I've got this sinking feeling we're being watched. . .
Crystal: I don't know about being watched, but we're in a maze of some sort. .
In the secret, evil lair of the unknown villain. . . .
Kiyone: Mission accomplished, sir. They're in the maze of horrors, sir. Evil Person: Good, good.
Kiyone: And I'm guessing you have plans for them, sir?
Evil Person: Of course. They will eventually come here, but first I thought we could have some fun with them. . . hehehe. . .
Kiyone: Excellent, sir. But why do you look so sad?
Evil Person: That Yuy kid and his Scooby gang bother me. They're figuring out everything too fast!
Kiyone: What do we do?
Evil Person: Duh, we send someone out to delay them!
Kiyone: Me?
Evil Person: You've done plenty. I have the perfect man for the job. Bwahahahahaha!!!
COMMERCIAL
Part Seven
Duo: Ok. So we just stand on these white circles?
Heero: Yes.
Sage: We just stand here?
Zechs: That's what he said.
Heero: I can handle this mission by myself.
Zechs: Cannot!
Heero: Can to!
Zechs: Cannot!
Heero: Can to!
Sage: Do they always fight like this?
Duo sighs and nods his head. He then yells above the voices of the arguing soldiers.
Duo: STOP FIGHTING!!! Thank you. We have girls to save, ya know.
Zechs: Girls?
Heero: Dorothy.
Zechs: WHAT??? Dorothy? Why would you save her? She nearly killed your girlfriend.
Heero: Relena's not my girlfriend!
Zechs: You deny it because it's true!
Heero: It's not!
Zechs: It is!
Heero: It's not!
Zechs: It is!
Duo: GUYS!!!! CAN WE GET GOING!!! Zechs and Heero: Hmph.
Everyone stands on a white circle.
Heero: Here we go.
He pushes the button and they disappear.
Sage: Where are we?
The lights flicker on.
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COMMERCIAL
A fat, yellow man is sleeping on a red sofa, snoring loudly.
Duo: He does exist!
Sage: I thought he was a paper and pencil comedy myth. I didn't think the guy was real and spent his free time sleeping in front of the tv!
The man mutters in a dreamlike state.
Man: Bbs. . . . . Butterfingers. . . . . must have. . . . .
Heero angrily whispers to everyone.
Heero: Shh. . . would you guys keep it down, you'll wake him up like you almost did screaming your heads off. . .
Zechs looks at him angrily before retorting in a whisper.
Zechs: Well, excuse me, Heero. You were screaming just as loud as the rest of us!
Heero: Well, hey, I don't need you tagging along if your going to criticize me every five minutes!
Zechs: Just stating a fact. . .
Heero: Hmmm. . . .
Duo, sick and tired of the arguing, yells at them.
Duo: WOULD YOU TWO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP FIGHTING! Sage: Uh-oh. . . . I think you did it this time, Duo!
The man stops snoring and his eyes slowly open.
Man: Uh. . . .
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He jumps behind the red sofa. Everyone else is stunned at his cowardice. From his 'hiding spot', the man pulls out a mini computer.
Man: Bart! Come in! I need help! What am I supposed to do???
Bart: Duh, Homer. Don't have a cow. Look at the script!
Duo: What's he doing?
Zechs: Why don't you go see for yourself?
Duo: No way!
Homer: Oh yeah!
He pulls out a script and flips to the current scene.
Homer: Hmm. . . Let's see. I'm supposed to duck under the couch. Ducking, ducking. Now, what? I gotta face them? EEK! Bb master, please, help me!
Bart: Come on, Homer. Do what the script says.
Homer: D'oh!
Bart: Fine. I'll make you a deal. Bring me the four of them and I'll. . . .
Homer: But. . . .but. . . the brown haired spandex one and the whitish- haired tall guy scare me!
Bart: Hear me out before you interrupt! If you capture them, I'll. . . I'll give you a bag of Butterfinger Bb's. Ok?
Homer: Bb's?
He goes into a zombie like state. Homer: Bb's. . . . must get Bb's. . . .
He starts walking toward them.
Sage: He's heading this way!
Duo: Great! How do we stall him until we can get out of here?
Heero: Hmmm. . .
Zechs: Any ideas, Heero?
Heero: Hmmm. . .
Duo: We're all gonna die!!
Sage: Shut-up.
Zechs: Stop saying 'hmm' and tell us what you're thinking before pudgy there zombie-struts over here. . .
Heero: I can't think of anything!
Zechs: Maybe you're just losing your touch. . .
Heero: Hmmm . . .
Sage: Maybe. . . we. . . we could throw him some of this food to occupy him. . . while someone can come up with a way out of here. . .
Duo: Sounds good to me.
He picks up a chicken leg.
Duo: Here, Homer. Would like some nice, juicy, crispy, chicken?
He throws the leg and a wing at him.
Duo: Take that! Now, Heero. How can we get out of here?
Heero: Hmmm. . .
He pulls out a small laptop.
Heero: Give me five minutes and I think I can work something out. In the meantime, keep Homer busy and try getting some information out of him.
Sage: Ok. Duo, hand me some of that chicken quick. He's finished what you gave him!
Duo: Hey, gee wiz! He's hungry. It's like he's eating for an entire family!
He throws him some more chicken.
Sage: Ok. While he's temporarily occupied. . . let's try questioning him.
Zechs: Right. Ok, tell us what we want to know. Just give us the basic information. Who is behind all of this?
Homer: Munch. . . . . munch. . . . munch
Zechs: Where are Amy and Crystal?
Homer: Munch. . . . . munch. . . . munch
Zechs: Answer me!
He tries to rip the chicken away from Homer.
Zechs: Ow! He bit my hand! It's going to be impossible to get anything out of him.
Sage: Uh, Duo.
Homer: Bb's. . . .
Sage: He's out of chicken.
Duo: Then we have a problem.
Heero: Why?
Duo: Cuz we're out of chicken!
Zechs: What???
Sage: Well, think of something, fast! Here he comes!
Duo: Sage, Zechs, grab some ammo!
He points to bowls of pretzels and chips, while he grabs a bowl of Cheetos.
Duo: Throw!
Zechs: Heero, how much longer!
Heero: Almost. . . . just a little longer. . . .
Zechs: Hurry up! We're running out of food!
Heero: Well, you can't exactly rush this!
Zechs: Well, hurry up!
Duo: Guys. . . .
Sage: What?
Duo: We are totally OUT OF FOOD!!!
Sage: Is he a bottomless pit or what?? What are we gonna do? Heero. . . .
Heero: Two more minutes. . .
Duo: Two more minutes??? And how are we gonna hold him off for two more minutes??? HUH???? With what???
Zechs: Stop complaining and arm yourself with . . . .
Heero: Done.
Sage: How will we keep him from crossing through the doorway?
Zechs: I'll stay and stop him.
Duo: And how do you plan on doing that?
Zechs: I'll think of something! Just go!
Heero: You heard him. Let's go!
Zechs: See you on the other side.
Back on stage. . .
Boys: AHHHH!!!!
They land on the floor with a thud.
Duo: Hi everyone. . . . owww . . . .
Sage: He's worse than Kento!
Heero: Well, it's over for now. So let's close the portal.
Sage: But what about. . . er. . .
Heero gives him a glare.
Heero: What's done is done. . . . huh? Someone is coming through!
Duo: Better not be Homer!
Zechs: AHHH!!!! Owww. . . That was some adventure. Thanks for not closing the portal on me, Heero.
Heero: Back to the drawling board.
Duo: Huh?
Heero: My guess is that whoever is behind this cracked the frequency on the mass transporter and sent us purposely out of the target range area.
Duo: Huh, how do you know that?
Zechs: He's right. The machine shows us 103 miles away from the target range of 100 miles, so we were 203 miles away.
Sage: That's bad . . . .
In the secret, evil lair of the now known villain. . . .
Bart: Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
Homer: Bb's?
Bart: What? Ha! Of course you can. . . the bag is on that table over there!
Homer: Bb's!!!
He runs to the table and picks up the bag and holds it above his opened mouth. Nothing falls out.
Homer: What? It's empty!
Bart: Duh, nobody lays a finger on my Butterfinger Bb's.
Homer: NO!!!
He runs out of the room to find some donuts.
Bart: Dismissed? Kiyone!
Kiyone: Yes, sir?
Bart: Your thoughts?
Kiyone: They're farther away?
Bart: It's so hard to find good help these days. . .
Kiyone: Now what?
Bart: Don't worry, the fun is just beginning.
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